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Entourage 8.4 – Whiz Kid

After the misfortune of being present during Carl Ertz’s drug blowout and subsequent suicide, it didn’t take a genius to figure out that Vince would have his back against the wall for most of this week’s episode. But even with the paparazzi on the hunt for some juicy gossip, the guys didn’t seem too concerned that Vince would be in any real trouble. After all, though he may have been in Ertz’s house at the time of his death, Vince didn’t do any actual blow, so a drug test would clear him of any suspicion that he broke probation. Of course, Vince always seems to make things more complicated then they need to be – a lesson that Eric was unfort when Vince reveals that he smoked a joint recently to prove to himself that he wasn’t an addict.

That’s all fine and well, but it made passing the impending drug test a little trickier. Drama’s suggestion to use home remedies like vinegar to clean out his system didn’t go over too well when Vince could barely hold down a single sip, let alone the gallons necessary, and with only four hours to go until the test, he was forced to call in the big guns. You’d expect Billy Walsh to know quite a bit about cheating drug tests considering his past history, but even he seems too smart to try something as silly as a fake penis. Eric certainly didn’t think it was a very good idea, and rightfully so, because being caught with a contraption designed to cheat a drug test would likely yield a far worse punishment than if marijuana was found in his system. Nevertheless, that didn’t stop Vince from doing it anyway, and you really have to give him kudos for having the balls (no pun intended) to take such a big gamble. Let’s just hope he’s finally learned his lesson, because this subplot wasted an entire episode.

The only other major story development of the night revolved around Ari’s old and new relationships, with his night of fun with Dana Gordon ending on a sour note after he mentions that he’s late for couple’s therapy with his wife. Not exactly the most romantic thing to say to someone that you’ve just had copious amounts of sex with, but Dana didn’t seem as offended as other women might. Like, say, Mrs. Ari, who was so upset over Ari’s late arrival to their session (due to dealing with the whole Vince situation) that she decided to give him a taste of his own medicine by walking out midway through. You’d think that since Vince is considered family she would have understood, so I’ll just chalk that up to how ridiculously out of character she’s been acting all season.

I really don’t understand why she’s being so childish, but it’s only bringing out the worst in Ari, as her refusal to believe that he could possibly be seeing someone else was no doubt the motivation behind his decision to take Dana out to dinner at Bobby Flay’s restaurant. Even Flay knew it was a pretty low-ball move, and when Dana figured out that Ari was using her to get back at his wife, she was understandably a little pissed. Too bad, because they made a fun couple. But now that Dana is seemingly out of the picture, I’m still not entirely convinced that Ari will be getting back with his wife any time soon – at least, not as much as I was at the start of the season. Mrs. Ari really seems to mean business, and with only four episodes left, Ari’s going to have to do a heckuva lot more if he has any hope of winning her back.

Breaking Bad 4.5 – “Go ahead, kid. Smoke up.”

This week’s adventures of Walt and the gang kicked off like they were trying to emulate a classic “Starsky and Hutch” episode. I mean, seriously, all it was missing was the classic Lalo Schifrin theme song, and even then…well, maybe it’s just my imagination, but damned if it didn’t sound like they were trying to offer a little bit of a Schifrin vibe with the music that was playing behind Walt as he made his frantic phone call to Saul and the slightly less frantic follow-up to Skyler.

The beats were still rockin’ when we came back, but once Walt parked and popped into Los Pollos Hermanos, it was time to ratchet up the tension. Is Gus there? Is he watching Walt on the surveillance cameras? Is he going to try and slip out of his office, into his car, and away from harm? Or is Gus going to stay safely ensconced in the back of the restaurant and send a bunch of hired goons (hired goons?) to whack Walt? We don’t find out the score right away, thanks to the ear-damaged yet ever sarcastic Mike calling up and confirming Jesse’s safety…well, more or less, anyway. It’s a hilariously frustrating conversation for Walt, and it doesn’t really offer us much more in the way of clarification than the last moments of last week. Yes, Jesse’s with Mike, but where are they going? The lack of answers coupled with the additional news that he’s going to have to cook a batch of meth without his usual assistant finally sends Walt over the edge and behind the counter, only to learn that – well, what do you know? – Gus’s right-hand woman was telling the truth all along: he really wasn’t back there. Still, give Walt credit for having the cajones to bust back there and find out for himself.

So, seriously, what the hell is Mike going to do with Jesse? When we last left Jesse, he didn’t seem to care. Now, though, he’s a little more interested, which seems to bemuse Mike a bit. I’d be surprised if any of us really thought that the drive was going to end with Mike popping Jesse – I mean, Vince Gilligan might not be afraid to blow his viewers’ minds, but he’s not going to take out one of the show’s main characters a mere five episodes into this new season – but I did start theorizing what the situation might be, and after their first stop, I found myself wondering, “Is it possible that Mike’s seeing a bit of himself in Jesse?” It hadn’t occurred to me prior to when Mike started digging up the booty, but at the moment he told him how many more stops they had to make, I thought, “Maybe he’s working his way up to telling Jesse, ‘Look, I’ve killed people, too, and it never gets any easier.'” Jesse, however, just looked confused…and I’m sure I looked the same way when Mike blew my theory out of the water a few scenes later.

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Drink of the Week: The White Russian

The White Russian.Cocktail classicists beware, because this week we’re saluting the immanent blu-ray release of the Coen Brothers’ comedy classic, “The Big Lebowski,” as well as the historic Lebowski Fest cast reunion with a drink that not only contains vodka but which usually requires no shaking and perhaps not even a great deal of stirring. That’s not all, the White Russian is extremely sweet and seems to derive not from the cocktail heights of the early 20th century but closer to the mixological nadir of the 1970s. The fact that it was a drink simple enough for a stoner to love led to it being immortalized on celluloid in the aforementioned 1998 film with Jeff Bridges, easily the greatest example of the pot-driven comedy genre yet made. Next to James Bond’s shaken vodka martini, the Dude’s Caucasian — same drink, different name — is easily the most legendary of all movie cocktails.

Still, no movie can make a drink popular all on its own, and the White Russian’s appeal is obvious; it tastes like a frozen candy bar. Moreover, the fact that it contains a bit of caffeine and even some rudimentary nutrition also makes it a highly appropriate beverage, not only for achievers but for caffeine heads like me. No wonder that it was one of the first cocktails I gravitated to in my ignorant youth and no wonder I still enjoy it when the time is right. Sometimes there’s no time for a martini and a very sweet cappuccino to follow it up. Impact-wise, the white Russian gives you a bit of both.

The White Russian

1.5 ounces vodka
3/4 ounces Kahlua or other coffee liqueur
3/4 ounces of heavy cream (or somewhat larger portions of half-and-half, whole milk, or even 2% milk)

Pour vodka and Kahlua over ice in rocks glass. Add heavy cream, which should “float” over the top, or other dairy topping. Stir and proceed to get into endless arguments with your friends about whether or not urinating on a rug constitutes a Saddam Hussein-like act of imperial aggression.

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There are a number of variations on the above, of course. You can eschew the diary product and go for a black Russian. I understand that if you use 2% or lower fat content film it’s called a Skinny Russian, which isn’t awful. On the other hand, I can tell you first hand that going past half-and-half and into the land of heavy cream will make the drink all the more tasty, though perhaps not tasty enough to warrant the eventual heart attack if you drink these things on too regular a basis. On the other hand, if you’re drinking as many Caucasians as the Dude seems to do during the course of a single day, wear and tear on your heart may not be your primary concern.

Also, I have to note cocktail historian David Wondrich‘s recipe actually calls for the drink to be made in a shaker and strained into a chilled rocks glass. It’s not bad that way, though it’s hard to imagine the Dude putting in all that work. As Wondrich points out, this is a drink beloved both by very occasional drinkers like my former self for its sweet-as-ice-cream taste and for the most down and out of out-and-out alcoholics, for whom it’s often the closest thing they’ll get to a balanced meal. Yes, a White Russian is for all, but really it belongs to just one man.

Friday Video – Juggalowest common denominator

This is by nature a fun column, designed to get people pumped up for whatever weekend festivities they may have planned. Sometimes, though, something comes up that is just begging for some kind of commentary. This is one of those times.

This weekend (starting yesterday, actually), deep in the heart of southern Illinois, the twelfth (!) annual Gathering of the Juggalos is taking place. Now, we’ve seen the word ‘Juggalo’ pop up here and there in the news cycle – usually near the word ‘Gallagher’ – but we were quick to dismiss it because Juggalos are fans of the Detroit hip-hop group Insane Clown Posse, who hit their commercial peak in the late ’90s and were perhaps best known for a feud with fellow Motowner Eminem. Are there really enough of these Juggalos to merit their own festival?

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Review: High Plains Bison

Chef JimI’ll be honest –I love food, but my adventurous palate tends to be more adventurous to things like extra spicy fare or exotic cheeses or vegetables. But when it comes to meat, I lean toward beef, chicken, turkey or pork. I might eat lamb or veal once in a blue moon. Same with seafood. So when it comes to game such as venison, duck or rabbit, you would probably catch me sneaking out the back door before sitting down for dinner.

That said, I try to have an open mind—within reason, of course. And when I was pitched to review bison from a company called High Plains Bison, I had even more of an open mind because it was pitched as an alternative and much healthier cousin of beef. And if you see the photos in the brochure or on their website, it sure does look like beef. But the numbers are staggering when you compare the fat and calories—107 calories to 243 calories for beef in a 100-gram serving. And yet, it tastes remarkably like beef, and not at all like food that is low in fat and calories.

Chef JimThe package they sent was a sampler of ribeye, ground bison, and hickory smoked sausage. The ground bison was the first one I tried, and it was very much like beef, but maybe a bit milder. The ribeye steaks were delicious too and not anywhere near as fatty as a beef ribeye but without sacrificing a ton of flavor. And then the sausages were quite honestly some of the best sausage I’ve ever tasted. These, however, had 23 grams of fat per link, but they were big links, and if it tastes that good, I don’t mind spending some fat calories. The hickory flavor was really delicious.

If you are looking for an alternative to beef, you really should consider bison. If you have an open mind already, you will love it. If you didn’t have an open mind, trust me when I say that you will be converted.

For more information, visit the High Plains Bison website

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