How to Get Your Pad to Seduce the Ladies for You

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Well, you’ve done it. You’ve gotten Rebecca, the cute girl from accounts payable, on a date. Things are going great. So great, in fact, that you two are on your way back to your place. Your roommate is out of town and you’re work phone is off. Now there’s nothing to interrupt your alone time. Just as you get open the door, you remember—even though you’ve been out of college for a few years, your apartment has hardly changed. Right when you walk in, the feeling of embarrassment rushes over you. There’s a dirty sock on the TV (how did that get there?), a few empty beer bottles on the coffee table, and…oh no, you still have that Halo poster above your bed? And her face says it all—yep, she hasn’t seen a man live like this since her high school boyfriend.

Suffice to say, she’s not staying long.

IF you have ever experienced this, or fear that this could be you, it’s time to grow up and create an environment that will reflect your cool, refined personality. Follow these steps, and you’ll be on your way.

Ditch the Posters

Farwell to the videogame and beer posters stuck to the wall with thumbtacks and tape. There is nothing wrong with liking beer or video games, in fact, playing Grand Theft Auto while guzzling down a Bud kicks ass. But just as the Dos Equis Guy doesn’t always drink beer, you don’t always play video games on the couch in sweat pants. Don’t make it seem that way.

Check out some cheap framed prints here. They have everything from sports, cityscapes, and yes…beer and videogames.

Keep it clean and organized

Since you have a closet and a dresser, you probably think you’re organized. But when your socks overflow out of drawers and somehow the dirty clothes are getting mixed in with the clean, it’s time for a change. Instead of waiting until you’re all out of clean clothes, do laundry in manageable amounts. While you’re at it, invest in a clothing rack (click here) and organizers so you don’t have to revert to grouping items into “clean” and “not-so-clean” piles. This will cut down on the amount of clutter (not to mention smell).

If you have the disposable income and can’t seem to get yourself disciplined, there’s never any shame in hiring a cleaning lady.

Get rid of the spotlight

You ever notice how most restaurants that brand themselves as ‘intimate’ or ‘romantic’ don’t have the same lighting as Waffle House? There’s a reason for that. Using varied lighting sources will give your space a more diverse, intimate feel. Multiple sources and dimmers are perfect. Remember, the key is not to make her feel like she’s escaping Alcatraz and has a spotlight on her, but it shouldn’t be so dark that she feels like she’s in solitary confinement.

Keep a full bar and your fridge stocked

While ‘come up for a cup of coffee’ hardly ever means drinking coffee, sometimes it actually does. But what if it’s too late for coffee? Your best bet is to have a variety of beverages stocked at all times. I know this sounds ridiculous, but if you think about it logically, it makes sense. The first thing you normally do when a guest arrives is ask them if they would like something to drink—we do this because we would like them to comfortable. And what do you know, thirst is at the bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (along with sex and basic human needs).
Make sure to keep a variety of choices—juice for the healthy type, tea for the earthy chick, hard liquors for getting a little loose, and bottled water for those that think they’re too good for tap water.

While some factors in the art of seduction may be out of reach, bettering your homestead should not be one of them. If you have a face for radio, engineering a comfortable and inviting environment can be a tremendous advantage the next time you’re having people over. Who knows, maybe you can entice Rebecca over for a steak dinner and let her see how you’ve changed. If the damage has already been done, you’ll at least be ready for the next time the opportunity presents itself.

  

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Turn Your Casual Dating Relationship Into A Serious One: 5 Tips

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Have you been dating your partner for awhile and do you feel as though you want to take it to the next level? Do you want to be exclusive? Sometimes a return to the casual dating scene can send us into a whirlwind of disappointment, but if you have been dating someone that you really like and you believe they feel the same way, why not make it serious? If you want to turn your casual dating relationship into a serious one, here are 5 important tips to put into action.

#1: Share More With Your Partner

If you have issues that you have had to face in the past and if you feel they may affect your future with this person, share them. The time is now to lay all of your cards on the table. For example, if you had a lot of debt and the past and if you still have some now, let your partner know where you stand. They hopefully won’t judge you for it and it will save you some stress down the road if you need to have a good credit rating for a loan. You can also work on it together as a team to be debt-free.

#2: Let Go

Let the past stay in the past and let go of the burdens, anger, resentment and anything that may ruin your current relationship. Remember that this relationship is new and fresh and it doesn’t need to be tainted by old pain and anger that you have from a former relationship.

#3: Be Good To Yourself

Put your needs high on your list of priority. If you make a conscious choice to keep improving yourself in any shape or form, your partner will recognize your smart and healthy choices and might want to join you. Couples that get involved in healthy activities together generally form that solid ‘team-like’ feeling and stick together longer.

#4: Communicate Your Feelings

Communication truly it the key to a solid relationship that is built from the ground up. If you are not good at expressing your feelings, try writing them down in a card or on a note and give it to your partner. If you find expressing yourself easy then go for it. Don’t hold back. If you feel strongly for your partner, then tell them. This will allow your relationship to flourish and grow stronger over time.

#5: Be There For Each Other

Be there for each other where it counts. If you start being there for the most difficult times it will show your commitment to each other and make the relationship a stronger one. Couples become serious couples when they can trust and depend on each other when the tough times hit.
There isn’t a specific time when a casual relationship turns into a more serious one, but these are some ways you can get yours on the right path towards a solid commitment. Remember that every relationship takes time to build and it only gets stronger through time and effort.

Simon is a writer and content specialist who is addicted to being on the front page of anything. A graduate of Dalhousie University, he specializes in using the em dash too often. Currently, Simon rests his typing hands in Vancouver, Canada. Check out his recent thoughts on gaming.

  

Demystify Your Dream Woman

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There are women. Then there are “dream women.”

It’s easy enough to snag the former with a cool approach even if you don’t have a lot invested your flirting bank of knowledge. She’s hot. She’s fun. You’re not tongue tied around her. If the flirtation leads nowhere, there’s always someone else to chat up.

Confidence with this kind of woman will get you pretty far – your indifference releases her anxieties and allows you to project a sense of cool.
The second kind of woman – the “dream woman” – presents a greater challenge. She’s self-composed, beautiful and elusive. She stops you in your tracks. She turns your normally savvy barstool eloquence into drivel. She haunts your thoughts. You spend hours overanalyzing every interaction, every stutter you stammered and every sideways glance she shot your way.

It’s possible to spend an entire lifetime hanging out with women of the first variety. They provide ease, fun, and confidence. Feel free to ignore your attraction to the woman of your dreams. Stifle it with a steady diet of party girls and quick flings and relationships that never quite catch.

But you’re not the kind of guy to leave what you want on the table.

Man-up, grow a pair, and land that lady already.

How Can I Get Her?

Focus on her imperfections. She does have some. Take note. Instead of focusing on all the impossibly perfect and alluring qualities that seduce you into a cold sweat—the Bardot hair, the Meghan Fox mouth, the Marion Ravenwood moxy–find the parts of her personality that don’t shine. Dig up the flaws. Find the things that make her human.

Maybe she has a charming facial tic or overuses the word “substantial” too often. Maybe she curses like a sailor, or wears unattractive printed pants. Any time you start to place her up on an unobtainable pedestal, laser in on those imperfections. Reminding yourself of her flaws helps keep her real and approachable.

Change Your Cognitive Thoughts

Cognitive science is the science of how humans think. If your woman is as superb as you think, she’s probably used to other dudes falling all over themselves around her.

View her as an equal. By making her approachable in your mind, you’ll fine tune your approach. She’ll appreciate the levelheadedness and honesty that you offer by considering her a peer rather than a princess.

What About A Date?

So your steady hand gets you in the door for a date. Now is not the time to apply the same sloppy methods you use on your normal dates. Play the long game with this one. Keep things cool and casual. Build rapport. Find a suitable credit card for an extra line of credit to afford a memorable first date. You don’t need to find a string quartet, a midnight flight to Paris or a blank check to Tiffany’s – trying too hard mashes the brakes on your pursuit quickly.

Instead, take her out to do something you have genuine passion about using your new credit card. Passion and enthusiasm play sexy to this kind of woman. While an opulent first date might flatter her ego, allowing her to see the things you value is much more attractive. If you’re a sports fan, take her to a ballgame. If you love old movies take her to see a Kurosawa film. While she might not trashtalk the pitcher, or love movies with subtitles, allow your enthusiasm for whatever to carry the date. Educate her about your passion. If it turns out you have the same things in common: perfect. If not: it’s okay. Women love men who are interested in life.

Show her your interest, then ask her to share hers on your next date. Enjoy what she shows you, be it something amazing like an architecture exhibition, disappointing like a Justin Bieber concert, or boring like financial planning. Take the opportunity to learn about her.

I Got Her!

By building this rapport you will have demystified your dream girl. Soon enough you’ll be sharing bedhead and scrambled eggs on the weekends instead of tension filled chats at the bar. Even dream women aren’t mysterious or unobtainable, you just have to be willing to wake up.

  

6 Romantic Ways to Win Her Over

couple kissing under blankets

“Dating isn’t easy,” is the understatement of the year. Women are complicated creatures and no two are the same. So, how can you impress her without intimidating her? How do you win her over so she agrees to that second or third date and then a relationship? These tips are sure-fire ways to convince her you’re the gentleman she’s been waiting for. Win her over by incorporating these surefire dating moves.

1. Appreciate Her

All women are different, but humans fundamentally hope to be appreciated by the people they care about. Admit it, you like your ego stroked once in a while too. So, don’t leave out appreciation. Say, “thank you,” when she offers to pick up a check. Be decent and listen when she speaks. If she shares something personal, thank her for that too. Remember that appreciation can be shown non-verbally too.

2. Do The Things She Likes

Especially when newly dating, you’ve got to treat her to the stuff she likes. Maybe you’ll find some new hobbies along the way. If she loves ice skating, take her to the rink. Let her teach you how. If she’s fond of Italian food, make a reservation at an Italian restaurant. This ties in with the first tip, because doing what she likes shows her you appreciate her.

3. Be Romantic

Spontaneity is the key to romance. Don’t be afraid to surprise her. Blindfold her, put her in a car, and drive her someplace she doesn’t expect. These spontaneous gestures show her you’re different than most guys. It’s also a good idea to brush up on your cooking skills, because many women express they love a man who can cook. If you’re terrible in the kitchen, why not take a cooking class with her?

4. Little Gifts Mean a Lot

Flowers make a great first impression. Don’t go for the sagging ones at the front of the supermarket. Make the extra effort and visit a florist. To really make this move work, ask her what her favorite flowers are before the big date. Next time get her a small box of a candy she likes and don’t forget these little gestures work both ways. Chances are she’ll start treating you to the things you like too.

5. Be Yourself

Don’t lie to her. Don’t try to run game on her, because the truth will eventually come out and you’ll end up breaking her heart. If she’s truly special to you, be honest about who you are. If you’re a sports fanatic and her last boyfriend spent hours on the couch watching hockey, let her know you don’t mind spending a Sunday watching the big game, but you’re not her ex either. Highlight your positive attributes before your negative ones. If she’s the right girl for you, she’ll accept you for who you are.

6. Don’t Rush Her

Finally, if she isn’t ready to hop into bed with you, take this as a sign of her class and don’t rush her. Your hormones may be racing every time you see her in a new outfit, but she has to be careful. Chances are she’s protecting herself for a reason. Show her that you’re willing to wait for her. Be patient, but don’t be afraid to let her know you’re ready whenever she is. If you can handle all of these tips, then you’re ready to sweep her off her feet.

  

Common Approach Mistake: Buying her a drink

In our recent Get Real Guide for Men, our friend Eric Rogell wrote a great column on the five common mistakes guys make when approaching women. One of the best tips involved the mistake of offering to buy her a drink:

Ever hear a “pick up artist” (or even your buddy) say that you should never buy a woman a drink? It’s one of those popular I-know-what-to-do-to-get-a-woman pieces of advice guys throw around to sound like they have game.

The truth is, they’re right. You should never buy a woman a drink. And in my book I go into detail about the pitfalls of paying for her Cosmotinis. But here’s the condensed version:

1 – Saying “Can I buy you a drink?” or sending one over, then nodding and smiling, isn’t clever, unique, exciting, entertaining, or anything else that a woman looks for. She’s heard it before, and if you approach the same way as every other boring, uninteresting guy she has shot down, you’re gonna get shot down too. Right after she finishes her drink.

2 – The minute you buy her a drink, you’re no longer that interesting guy she wanted to meet and talk to; you instantly become “Just another guy trying to get into my pants.” And that’s not a good category to be in.

3 – This is the big one. This is the one women have told me is the reason that actually makes them hate when a guy sends over a drink: because now they feel obligated to talk to you. You expect a conversation because you have bought their time. And I don’t have to tell you that when a woman feels she has to do something, as opposed to wanting to do something, you’re in for a rough time.

Bottom line, there are at least those three reasons not to buy a woman a drink, and not too many on the positive side. Hedge your bets. Use a different approach.

This is great advice, as there are so many better ways to strike up a conversation. Check out the rest of the article for more great tips from Eric, and check out his book – “The Art of War of Dating.” You can also check out our dating channel for more dating tips for guys.

  

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