How to get a girlfriend

Some guys want to find a girlfriend, while others want to meet as many women as possible. Regardless of what you’re looking for, you have to approach more women to increase your chances of success.

In his article about how to get a girlfriend, Dan Bacon points out an interesting fact:

We have surveyed more than 6,000 women during the last 7 years and 73% say that men don’t approach women enough anymore. Women also complain that a lot of modern men have become too wimpy and take too long to make something happen.

This isn’t surprising, as many men have trouble with this. They get nervous or intimidated, and so they avoid the possibility of rejection.

So you need to learn to change your attitude. Just as important, however, is learning how to approach women. There are all sorts of great pickup artists who can help with that. Their approaches vary so you need to do research and find one that fits your personality, yet at the same time you have to be willing to challenge yourself, otherwise you won’t get better at this. Check out our pickup artist web guide for examples.

Dan Bacon’s article has some easy advice on approaching women in coffee shops. Other stress learning how to talk to women and not hitting on them as soon as you approach them. Read up and you’ll see right away many ways you can improve.

  

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Tips on how to hook up more

Some guys are looking for a relationship. Some want to just get more hookups, and many guys frankly want both. We’d love to find that one great girl, but we definitely want as many hook-ups as possible along the way.

The first thing to keep in mind is that many women want the same thing. They just go about it in different ways, and every woman is different, so learning observe and listen is critical if you want to have more success.

What I’ve found is that many of the pick-up artists have excellent advice in this area. The key is using a system that works for you, but don’t expect to improve in this area without seeking out helpful advice. Dan Bacon has an excellent strategy that he calls “The Flow” and it’s a simple yet very effective approach that most guys will be able to use.

Of course you can spend your time on adult dating sites, and you’ll find some willing partners after you sift throught the fake profiles, but you’re always better off improving your game so that you can operate in any social setting.

  

Are you intimidated by beautiful women?

Be honest with yourself. Does this apply to you? It applies to most men, so there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Frankly, just acknowledging this can be a great first step towards improving your dating skills with women, whether you’re a bumbling novice or someone who is generally successful with women but wants to get better.

Forbes recently brought up a similar question in the contest of Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton. This went more into the relationship dynamics, as Thornton feels like he screwed up the marriage and said, “I blew it because I didn’t think I was good enough for her.” She’s particularly intimidating for a host of reasons, but it raises the narrower issue of how to attract and date beautiful women.

Most pick-up artists have great advice in this area, and the basic idea is that you can’t act like all the other guys who fawn over them or try to win them over with money or status (if that’s even an option). The key is to stand out by acting differently, and it all goes back to your own attitude and confidence.

You can start thinking about this issue with two articles from David DeAngelo. The first explains his basic “cocky and funny” strategy, and the next one specifically addresses the secrets of dating beautiful women. The idea is similar to the idea of negs from Mystery and Style. Playfully teasing a beautiful women and not fawning over her will completely change the dynamic.

One of the keys to improving your dating skills by reading the pick-up artists is simply to avoid the common mistakes you and other guys have been making for years. The light bulb will go up immediately, as you see that your natural impulses are often wrong when trying to attract women, unless you’re a natural of course . . .

Check out our dating tips page for more tips from the best pickup artists.

  

Common Approach Mistake: Buying her a drink

In our recent Get Real Guide for Men, our friend Eric Rogell wrote a great column on the five common mistakes guys make when approaching women. One of the best tips involved the mistake of offering to buy her a drink:

Ever hear a “pick up artist” (or even your buddy) say that you should never buy a woman a drink? It’s one of those popular I-know-what-to-do-to-get-a-woman pieces of advice guys throw around to sound like they have game.

The truth is, they’re right. You should never buy a woman a drink. And in my book I go into detail about the pitfalls of paying for her Cosmotinis. But here’s the condensed version:

1 – Saying “Can I buy you a drink?” or sending one over, then nodding and smiling, isn’t clever, unique, exciting, entertaining, or anything else that a woman looks for. She’s heard it before, and if you approach the same way as every other boring, uninteresting guy she has shot down, you’re gonna get shot down too. Right after she finishes her drink.

2 – The minute you buy her a drink, you’re no longer that interesting guy she wanted to meet and talk to; you instantly become “Just another guy trying to get into my pants.” And that’s not a good category to be in.

3 – This is the big one. This is the one women have told me is the reason that actually makes them hate when a guy sends over a drink: because now they feel obligated to talk to you. You expect a conversation because you have bought their time. And I don’t have to tell you that when a woman feels she has to do something, as opposed to wanting to do something, you’re in for a rough time.

Bottom line, there are at least those three reasons not to buy a woman a drink, and not too many on the positive side. Hedge your bets. Use a different approach.

This is great advice, as there are so many better ways to strike up a conversation. Check out the rest of the article for more great tips from Eric, and check out his book – “The Art of War of Dating.” You can also check out our dating channel for more dating tips for guys.

  

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