Survey Says She Wants You to Buy Her a Drink… But What Does She “Really” Want?

girl in nightclub

We all know that opening with “Hey can I buy you a drink?” is a really bad move on so many levels: It turns you into just another open wallet looking to get in her pants, you’re instantly transformed into a guy who has to pay for attention from women, and it’s also not that creative, original or interesting. Which is exactly how she’ll see you.

It’s why so many guys end up going home alone, and with a lot less money.

Yet, a recent survey by New Amsterdam Spirits found that 67% of women think it’s “smooth” when a man buys them a drink. Well of course they do. Who doesn’t love free drinks? I bet if they surveyed men and asked if we’d like women to buy us a drink, the result would be 97%. And the other 3% would be lying.

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5 Questions with Olympic Snowboarder Elena Hight

Last week we were invited by Toyota to Breckenridge, Colorado to test drive their 4-wheel drive vehicles over snow and ice covered trails, and to spend some time on the slopes with US Olympic snowboarder, X-Games sliver medalist and Team Toyota competitor, Elena Hight.

Sure she was the first woman to land a 900 in competition (doing it at a ridiculously young 13 years old) and is the first snowboarder ever, male or female, to land a double backside alley-oop rodeo in Superpipe competition, but the 23-year-old is also a hottie. So besides learning how to shred the mountain, we wanted to know what it takes to date an Olympian.

Here’s what Elena had to say about being manly, whether her success intimidates guys, and the worst line she ever heard:

1. What qualities do you look for in a guy? And be specific. If you like a guy who can deal with being second place to boarding, who has enough self-confidence to be okay with that, or an Alpha guy who will take control, or a guy who will treat you like a queen, say so.

Elena Hight: I don’t necessarily have a “type” of guy that I look for. I think that the most important qualities are a good sense of humor, intelligence, a passion for life, and someone who is comfortable and confident in their own skin.

2. How important is it to you that a guy be into snowboarding or skiing? Or surfing. Or is it better that he be into something totally different that he can introduce you to? And how important is it that he be fit and active?

EH: I definitely look for a guy who is active and into sports. I love to play outdoors, so anyone who is into some type of athletic sport is good for me. They don’t necessarily have to be the best snowboarder, but they have to be able to at least hang!

3. Do you find that guys are intimidated by your success? Does it make it harder or easier to meet guys when you’re an Olympic athlete? Does the constant travel help or hurt?

EH: Traveling is great to meet new guys or people in general, however not great to keep in contact with those people. But it is really fun to be able to hang out and get to know all sorts of different guys with different backgrounds, which is nice because it’s easy to get stuck just knowing the same guys in the snowboard industry.

I am not sure that guys are necessarily intimidated by my success, but if they are, then they probably aren’t the guy for me.

4. What do you think makes a guy “manly”? Is it having no fear facing the toughest mountain runs? Knowing how to fix a car or build a deck? Protecting you from harm? Not being afraid to cry?

EH: Because I grew up in the mountains, I was constantly surrounded by manly mountain men. To me, being manly is being able to take care of others. Whether it is fixing a car or bike or snowmobile, building a fire, shoveling the driveway, or building a tent, taking charge of a situation is manly.

5. What’s the worst line any guy has ever tried to use? The absolute dumbest thing a guy ever said or did? What was your reaction?

EH: Maybe, “Can I have your phone number because I lost mine?” That is just so lame!

And what was the sweetest/funniest/best line or thing a guy ever did to try to meet you? And did it work?

EH: Flowers are the way to a girl’s heart, and it will work every time.

Eric Rogell is the author of The Art of War for Dating and the is founder of The Casanova Code, a program where he teaches sales teams, corporate executives, and marketers how to achieve unrivaled business success by using the wickedly effective secrets of seduction. You can follow him on Twitter @ericrogell.

  

How to Avoid Becoming a Victim of the Panhandler Syndrome

men and women at bar

You see this hot girl waiting for her order at the coffee shop. Feeling confident, you walk up and say, “Hi, I’m Mike. I just wanted to…” And that’s all you can get out before she grabs her double skinny decaf soy latte, says “I have a boyfriend” and bolts for the door.

Shot down. In cold blood.

Now most guys will take it personally when that happens. But you shouldn’t. Because 9 times out of 10, you weren’t the reason she blew you off. And by “you” I mean your looks, your personality, your clothes… anything that makes you “you.” Nope, instead you just fell victim to one of the most insidious traps a guy can fall into: The Panhandler Syndrome.

Here’s how it works: Think about the last time you were in a big city and got approached by a panhandler. Some guy shuffles up, hand out. “Excuse me, sir. I haven’t eaten today, can you spare some change?” Being a generous guy, you reach into your pocket and hand him whatever coins you have. No big deal. Good deed done for the day.

Now imagine that every time you walk down your city’s streets, 10 or 15 panhandlers approach you. All with the same come-on: “Excuse me sir…”, “Pardon me, friend….”, “Hey mister, can you spare…”. By the time the 5th or 6th one approached you how willing would you be to dig in your pockets for change? Exactly. Not at all.

In fact, after just a couple of these bums hit you up for money, you’d start to ignore them, maybe even snap “I don’t have any change!” before they can even finish the word “Excuse.” And it doesn’t matter how compassionate and caring a person you are, at some point we’ve all had enough.

Image ALT text goes here.Now imagine you’re a hot girl. And all day, every day, guys are coming up to you. Hitting on you. Just trying to talk to you. All using the same dumb lines… “Wow has anyone ever told you…”, “Excuse me, but I just wanted to…”, “Hi, my name is Mike and…”

Yep. We are panhandlers to women. Begging for phone numbers. Dates. And sex. A never-ending stream of us, all using some version of the same old lines. And by the 3rd or 4th guy, they’re blowing us off like we were Charlie Sheen in a convent.

It’s not their fault either. They can’t help it. The Panhandler Syndrome becomes reflex—a knee jerk reaction to an endless parade of jerks. Even if you might be a great guy for her, she’s got her bitch shield on high alert, and she’s shooting down any fool who trips the wire. And unless your name is Channing Tatum, you’re gonna trip the wire.

So what can you do?

You’ve got to avoid the triggers that set off the Panhandler Syndrome. Let’s go back to the city streets for an example. Forget all those guys shuffling up with a sad, “Excuse me.” Think about the creative panhandlers you’ve seen. The ones with the signs that say things like: “Yell anything you want at me for $2″ or “I’ll listen to you complain about your wife/husband for $3″ Did those catch your attention? Make you stop? Laugh? Even consider giving the guy a couple of bucks just for the effort?

Exactly. Because they didn’t come up with a line that triggers your reaction to avoid their insufferable neediness. And you have to think the same way when approaching a woman. This is why indirect openers can let you side step her triggers, rather than coming in directly.

You want to come across as if you’re not hitting on her at all. As if you’re simply asking a question or an opinion. “Is that chai? I’ve heard for every 3 cups you drink, you add a week on to your life. What do you think, is it really that healthy?” or “You look like a coffee veteran… Help me settle a bet with my buddy, I say a latte and a cappuccino are the same thing, he says they’re different. Who wins?” It doesn’t really matter as long as whatever you ask is creative, different, and can’t be answered with a yes or no. Or doesn’t make her think you’re angling to get in her pants. That comes later, after you’ve made yourself immune to the Panhandler Syndrome.

Eric Rogell is the author of “The Art of War for Dating” and is the founder of The Casanova Code, a program where he teaches sales teams, corporate executives and marketers how to achieve unrivaled business success by using the wickedly effective secrets of seduction. You can follow him on Twitter @ericrogell.

  

10 Dos & Don’ts of Online Dating

online dating ads 2

If you’ve looked for love online, you know that it’s easy to make a few mistakes that could cause a potential romance to fizzle quickly. Don’t let online dating turn into a dangerous minefield; use common sense to find someone who will make you happy.

Do Proofread

In the age of text messages and emails, poor spelling and improper grammar is common. Surprise the women reading your profile by proofreading your words before you update your profile. You might impress a potential date with your excellent command of the English language.

Don’t Waste Your Time

Don’t feel obliged to respond to every single inquiry you receive. If you don’t see a potential connection or feel any interest towards a particular reply, let go and move on.

Do Embrace Your Interests

Using websites to find romance gives you a chance to instantly connect with people who share your interests. Be upfront about your interests, even if your love of “My Little Pony” seems silly.

Don’t Use the Internet to Stalk

Although a quick search online can usually yield plenty of information about a prospective match, don’t abuse this power. You may run across incorrect information and potentially ruin a relationship before it even starts.

Do Use Humor

Your online profiles should not resemble a boring advertisement for a car. Inject your personality and humor to make your profile stand out among the rest.

Don’t Lie

Although you may feel tempted to stretch the truth about your job status or wealth, lying can come back to haunt you. Even small untruths may be uncovered in the future.

Do Choose a Good Picture

A picture of your attempt to mimic Arnold Schwarzenegger may not win over any women browsing your profile. Instead, choose a picture that shows off your sincere smile.

Don’t Share Your Life Story

Don’t start providing the details of your life’s history in your initial emails with a potential match. Feel free to share some information, but be sure to ask her to talk about herself as well.

Do Take Some Breaks

If you’re not having luck with online dating, take a brief break. A break will give you the chance to rest and review your strategy.

Don’t Pursue Too Many Options

If you strike up too many conversations with prospective matches, you may feel overwhelmed and frustrated. Instead, hold back and cultivate only a few profiles on dating websites.

Finding romance online may seem like a daunting task with no possibility of a positive outcome. However, online dating isn’t an advanced science. Be yourself and avoid common mistakes and you may end up finding the right match for you. For more advice about navigating the online dating world, as well as other practical & effective dating tips, visit our friends over at the ArtofCharm.com.

  

Hook up with real girls posting on social media dating sites

Here’s a great gallery of actual photos uploaded on a new social media dating site – SocialSex.com. They’re basically just like the photos we’re seeing hotties posting all over the popular social media sites as girls try real hard to look sexy, except here they have a much clearer agenda. Check it out and see of you can hook up tonight!

social media dating profile

  

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