How to Get Your Pad to Seduce the Ladies for You

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Well, you’ve done it. You’ve gotten Rebecca, the cute girl from accounts payable, on a date. Things are going great. So great, in fact, that you two are on your way back to your place. Your roommate is out of town and you’re work phone is off. Now there’s nothing to interrupt your alone time. Just as you get open the door, you remember—even though you’ve been out of college for a few years, your apartment has hardly changed. Right when you walk in, the feeling of embarrassment rushes over you. There’s a dirty sock on the TV (how did that get there?), a few empty beer bottles on the coffee table, and…oh no, you still have that Halo poster above your bed? And her face says it all—yep, she hasn’t seen a man live like this since her high school boyfriend.

Suffice to say, she’s not staying long.

IF you have ever experienced this, or fear that this could be you, it’s time to grow up and create an environment that will reflect your cool, refined personality. Follow these steps, and you’ll be on your way.

Ditch the Posters

Farwell to the videogame and beer posters stuck to the wall with thumbtacks and tape. There is nothing wrong with liking beer or video games, in fact, playing Grand Theft Auto while guzzling down a Bud kicks ass. But just as the Dos Equis Guy doesn’t always drink beer, you don’t always play video games on the couch in sweat pants. Don’t make it seem that way.

Check out some cheap framed prints here. They have everything from sports, cityscapes, and yes…beer and videogames.

Keep it clean and organized

Since you have a closet and a dresser, you probably think you’re organized. But when your socks overflow out of drawers and somehow the dirty clothes are getting mixed in with the clean, it’s time for a change. Instead of waiting until you’re all out of clean clothes, do laundry in manageable amounts. While you’re at it, invest in a clothing rack (click here) and organizers so you don’t have to revert to grouping items into “clean” and “not-so-clean” piles. This will cut down on the amount of clutter (not to mention smell).

If you have the disposable income and can’t seem to get yourself disciplined, there’s never any shame in hiring a cleaning lady.

Get rid of the spotlight

You ever notice how most restaurants that brand themselves as ‘intimate’ or ‘romantic’ don’t have the same lighting as Waffle House? There’s a reason for that. Using varied lighting sources will give your space a more diverse, intimate feel. Multiple sources and dimmers are perfect. Remember, the key is not to make her feel like she’s escaping Alcatraz and has a spotlight on her, but it shouldn’t be so dark that she feels like she’s in solitary confinement.

Keep a full bar and your fridge stocked

While ‘come up for a cup of coffee’ hardly ever means drinking coffee, sometimes it actually does. But what if it’s too late for coffee? Your best bet is to have a variety of beverages stocked at all times. I know this sounds ridiculous, but if you think about it logically, it makes sense. The first thing you normally do when a guest arrives is ask them if they would like something to drink—we do this because we would like them to comfortable. And what do you know, thirst is at the bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (along with sex and basic human needs).
Make sure to keep a variety of choices—juice for the healthy type, tea for the earthy chick, hard liquors for getting a little loose, and bottled water for those that think they’re too good for tap water.

While some factors in the art of seduction may be out of reach, bettering your homestead should not be one of them. If you have a face for radio, engineering a comfortable and inviting environment can be a tremendous advantage the next time you’re having people over. Who knows, maybe you can entice Rebecca over for a steak dinner and let her see how you’ve changed. If the damage has already been done, you’ll at least be ready for the next time the opportunity presents itself.

  

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