The Results Are In: You should be clean shaven in ’17

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Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Schick Hydro® and Edge® Shave Gel, but all opinions are my own.

The results are in from a 2016 survey on behalf of Edge Shave Gel and Schick Hydro*, and if you have a mustache, they aren’t pretty.

Did you know that more than half (59%) of Americans, including 69% of Millennials, agree that whether a man has facial hair is a major factor in forming a first impression of him? Which can be particularly damning in the office.

If they were equally qualified for the job, 70% of Americans are more likely to hire a man without facial hair than one with it. Ouch.

Why is that? Because 67% of Americans feel that a clean-shaven guy is more likely to have a larger bank account than a man with facial hair.

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How to Shave: Schick Hydro barber Woody Donahue drops science in NYC

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I learned more about shaving from pro barber Woody Donahue in two hours than I had in 20-plus years of begrudgingly dragging a razor across my face. Donahue, the official Schick Hydro barber, set up shop at The Carlton Hotel in New York City and gave us the full treatment via hot towel shaves at a showcase event for the new Hydro5 and Edge Shave Gel.

Schick has made a concerted effort to be the most sensitive of razor companies. So sensitive, that in the past I have mused that the Hydro5 has all the sensitivity of a toddler petting a kitten on a pillow with a rainbow in the background, while listening to Richard Marx’s hit power ballad, “Hold Onto the Nights.”

If you’re like me prior to the event, you probably have no idea how great, and how necessary a full shave from a professional is. On top of being surprisingly relaxing (considering a dude has a razor at your jugular), a hot towel treatment at the start gently opens your pores and relaxes your skin.

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Rather than smacking shaving cream on haphazardly and scraping a cold metal blade across your face, the billboard of “You Incorporated,” if you will, there are several aspects necessary for a proper shave, like also making sure the blade has been at least warmed slightly by running it under hot water.

After the hot towel cooled on my face after several minutes, Donahue got to work. The number of dudes I would trust to run a razor across my face and neck can be counted on one hand. But Donahue became one of the few, and easily the best.

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Product Review: “Assassin’s Creed: Unity” Edge Shave Gel

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Schick, Target and “Assassin’s Creed” teamed up a year ago for the release of “Black Flag,” and this year, they’ve added Edge Shave Gel to the party.

Available now are three limited edition “Assassin’s Creed: Unity” Edge Shave Gel cans, and each one includes exclusive access to downloadable content including swords, armor and more.

Here is the breakdown:

– Edge Sensitive Skin Shave Gel gives access to an exclusive downloadable sword, contains aloe, and helps prevent nicks, cuts and irritation.

– Edge Extra Moisturizing Shave Gel gives access to exclusive downloadable armor and has vitamin E and a blend of ingredients to leave your face hydrated and smooth.

– Edge Ultra Sensitive Shave Gel gives access to an exclusive downloadable Assassin’s Hood, contains colloidal oatmeal, and helps provide protection against razor burn.

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Product Review: Schick Quattro Titanium

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For its latest campaign, Schick has taken a direct position against hipster douchebags. And I say it’s high time.

In recent years, the hipster population has exploded in the same way Ted Nugent says the deer population has, because there are no natural predators. Society has embraced these wayward idiots in tight pants with ironic tattoos, such as a flying toaster or a piece of pizza.

But now, Schick has positioned itself as a hipster predator. No, not this guy, but the thought of the original Predator hunting down hipster doofuses in major metropolitan areas the way he hunted down Danny Glover in “Predator 2” does get me a little excited.

The #UnitedWeShave campaign has very simple message: summer is better beardless. And not only is summer better sans beard, but so is America, which is why Schick is recruiting you to “Help Shave the Nation.”

#UnitedWeShave celebrates shaving, urging guys to buck beards and liberate their jawlines. Check out the film:

A beard says, “I’m lost. I’m taking some time out.”

The campaign is so badass, it would be easy to forget how effective the Schick Quattro Titanium is as a razor.

The Quattro features four titanium-coated blades that stay sharp to reduce irritation. A conditioning strip formulated with aloe and jojoba helps provide a smooth shave and coats your skin immediately after you shave your chosen area.

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Product Review: Schick Xtreme 3 Hawaiian Tropic Edition

Even if they don’t want us to believe it, women need to shave too. We already know that they never sweat, but rather “glow,” and they never fart or have to use the bathroom.

But even they have unwanted hair that grows on a regular basis and needs to be maintained, when they travel or leave home, just like us. The Schick Xtreme 3 Hawaiian Tropic disposable razor was made just for them.

Chicks like things that smell good — this is a fact. So what did the geniuses at Schick do? They made a razor that has the womanly scent of coconut built right in that never diminishes or goes away, unlike a man.

The Schick Hawaiian Tropic is a temporary/disposable razor, but works with the effectiveness and feel of any full-time blade.

It’s a disposable razor, but it’s a long way from what you normally expect from a disposable razor. The main thing I expect whenever I hear the term “disposable razor” is a certain overall level of cheapness — just a stiff piece of light-weight plastic with a shard of metal used to scrape the whiskers off your face when you’re in a hurry visiting the in-laws or on that business trip.

One of the first things I noticed was the handle, and not just because it smells like a tanned, oiled, hot Hawaiian babe (which it does), but because the way it is structured is perfect for the grip of the most feminine of hands. Bumps and ridges abounded, making it easy to adjust the blade and hit hard to reach areas with ease.

Located just above the triple blade setup is the “Comfort Strip.” The Comfort Strip delivers the ingredients Vitamin E, Aloe and Jojoba to your skin immediately after going over the area with the triple blades, which seriously reduces irritation.

Another small thing I liked in particular was the razor cover. Most disposable blades I’ve encountered usually have a cheap plastic “slidey thing” (to use the technical term) to cover the blade when not in use. But the Xtreme3 had a cover that could only be removed if you pinched both ends at the same time; it was almost like a clamp, which is great if you’ve got this in the bottom of a loosely fitting gym bag, or if you have a curious four-year-old.

Valentine’s Day may be over, but there will soon be another holiday that woman think was made just for them, where you’ll be forced to present them with a gift to show your undying affection. Next time you’re in that predicament, pick up a four-pack of Schick Xtreme 3 Hawaiian Tropic razors “for her.” They serve a practical purpose and show that you are sensitive to their most sensitive needs and areas.

For more information, visit the website here.