Disclosure: This post is sponsored by Schick Hydro® and Edge® Shave Gel, but all opinions are my own.

The results are in from a 2016 survey on behalf of Edge Shave Gel and Schick Hydro*, and if you have a mustache, they aren’t pretty.

Did you know that more than half (59%) of Americans, including 69% of Millennials, agree that whether a man has facial hair is a major factor in forming a first impression of him? Which can be particularly damning in the office.

If they were equally qualified for the job, 70% of Americans are more likely to hire a man without facial hair than one with it. Ouch.

Why is that? Because 67% of Americans feel that a clean-shaven guy is more likely to have a larger bank account than a man with facial hair.

Mustache Free is the Way to Be in 2017

Women don’t like facial hair, either. In a survey that used Tinder to gauge success, 74% of right swipes had zero facial hair. Guys with no beards had a 37% increase in matches*.

Beards are weird because the dudes who are owned by them can’t seem to shake the urge to stroke their beard during conversation. It’s like watching a grown man pet his “face cat” in front of you.

And that’s not even just a savage burn by the beardless anymore. According to the New York Post and other reputable outlets like BroBible, your beard is carrying disease everywhere.

It has always struck me as odd to see a man with a mustache at a place of business. That thing is a lightning rod. It’s like seeing a part of a person you weren’t supposed to see that you can’t unsee.

Seeing a mustache in an office reminds me of this one time I saw something so gross, so reprehensible I shouldn’t even write about it. I was in the break room at a former employer after an office gathering to honor the customer service department. It was uncomfortable and all conversation was forced.

There was a meat and cheese tray silently wilting in the middle of a fluorescent-lit break room/commons area with no windows. It had been left out all morning, into the afternoon. It was right by the vending machines, and people were breathing and talking to each other all over it.

People were picking off of it until this mustachioed sales guy sauntered over, dug in with both hands, pivoted back the way he came and left the room without speaking. Left in his wake were two coal-black mustache hairs on top of a piece of Swiss cheese.

Don’t be that guy. Use a Schick Hydro razor and Edge Gel to get the smoothest shave.

For more information on how a fresh shave is the way to go, visit www.schick.com/mens-razor and www.edgeshave.com.

* Wakefield on behalf of Edge Shave Gel and Schick Hydro (Spring 2016) [online omnibus survey of 1,000 nationally representative U.S. adults aged 18+]