I knew it was going to be an interesting trip to Los Angeles when I met actor Colin Farrell at LAX baggage claim upon arrival. Minutes later, I bumped my shoulder into Olympic legend Michael Phelps’ tightly toned torso while wildly retrieving my luggage from the baggage carousel.

Here is the actual transcript of our meeting:

“Whoa. Hi Michael, excuse me. That bag kinda got away from me there for a second.”

“No problem, how are you?”

“I am good, nice to see you.”

Turning my attention, and body, towards the exit, I again saw Farrell, this time attempting to lay low in the shadows as people began to recognize him as “that one guy from ‘SWAT.’”

Suddenly, five punky paparazzo exploded off the elevator and surged towards the helpless Farrell, who was now pacing back and forth, alone, waiting for his luggage, while having a conversation on his cell phone that was going nowhere. He was adamant about needing a ride immediately, but his urgency was neither acknowledged nor reciprocated.

A pair of 50-something (but don’t tell them that) Latinas spotted him, exclaiming with glee to everyone within earshot that Farrell was, in fact, “right by them.”

The ladies bum rushed him and made their jerky husband take several pictures while they posed, Farrell maintaining a state of disinterest throughout the experience. 30 people stood around and watched, mouths agape.

Metaphorically, Farrell was naked in front of his high school assembly, with no publicist or agent in sight to deflect or protect, and the verbal potshots began to pile up.

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When I’m cleaning my face, I want a system. I don’t want to approach the situation haphazardly, like the parents on MTV’s hit TV show “Teen Mom.”

Let’s be frank — and yes, you “can still be Garth.” Your face skin is essentially your billboard to the world. And what does this billboard promote? The business of You, Incorporated.

If your face looks blotchy, dry, flaky, weird, or any other adjective that would describe a rabid Russian dog, scrounging the public subway system for scraps, you probably don’t want to look like that. You probably don’t want to look like Gorbachev, either.

You, Incorporated is coming off of another great fiscal quarter, but how do you maintain the momentum and feed all the families who depend on your face? By trusting a known commodity when it comes to building the brand of You. If you’re breathing, you’re branding, and if you’re washing your face and the rest of your body, you better be using the new cleansing system that is the 2013 Dove Men + Care line.

In a word, the Dove Men + Care line is stout. Dove has really covered all aspects, from shaving, to cleansing, and everything in between. Check out the list of products I received:

 – Cool Silver Deodorant

– Anti-Dandruff Shampoo

– Aqua Impact Body + Face Bar

– Aqua Impact Body And Face Wash

– Hydrate + Post Shave Balm

– Hydrate + Face Wash

– Sensitive + Shave Gel

– Sensitive + Post Shave Balm

– Sensitive + Face Lotion

My inclination when I started writing this review was to mention my favorite product, and then spend equal time on the one I liked the least. But honestly, I liked them all. Plus, it’s impossible to single them out, because they are all pieces of the same entity.

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