Movie Review: “X-Men: Apocalypse”

Starring
James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Nicholas Hoult, Oscar Isaac, Rose Byrne, Sophie Turner, Tye Sheridan, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Evan Peters, Olivia Munn
Director
Bryan Singer

In 2000, director Bryan Singer launched the X-Men franchise (on a shoestring budget by today’s superhero movie standards), helping to pave the way for future comic book films. While the director’s first installment doesn’t completely hold up, especially in the visual effects department, it was a good example of how less can be more; the characters were more thrilling than the action. 16 years later, Singer’s third sequel “X-Men: Apocalypse” comes from the “more is more” school of thought, and though it’s his biggest X-Men film to date, it’s also his most disappointing.

The fifth sequel in the series takes place ten years after the events of “X-Men: Days of Future Past” (although none of the characters have aged a day). Long before any of that happened, mutants ruled the world. En Sabah Nur, who sees himself as a God, is on his last days. As he prepares to take over one of his devoted follower’s (Oscar Isaac) bodies, he’s betrayed by the humans. His four (mutant) horseman do everything they can to protect him from the attack, and as a result, his body is left safely guarded underneath a demolished pyramid.

In 1983, En Sabah Nur awakens and is horrified by what the humans have done with his world. The powerful mutant believes the planet must be cleansed, and he recruits four new horsemen – Magneto (Michael Fassbender), Psylocke (Olivia Munn), Storm (Alexandra Shipp) and Angel (Ben Hardy) – to assist him in building a new world. Only Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) and his young mutant students, including Cyclops (Tye Sheridan) and Jean Grey (Sophie Turner), can prevent En Sabah Nur and the four horsemen from destroying the planet.

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Blu Tuesday: Zoolander 2 and The Finest Hours

Every Tuesday, I review the newest Blu-ray releases and let you know whether they’re worth buying, renting or skipping, along with a breakdown of the included extras. If you see something you like, click on the cover art to purchase the Blu-ray from Amazon, and be sure to share each week’s column on Facebook and Twitter with your friends.

“Zoolander 2″

WHAT: Fifteen years after saving the Malaysian prime minister’s life, Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) and Hansel (Owen Wilson) are lured back into the world of modeling by trendy fashion designer Alexanya Atoz (Kristin Wiig), only to discover that it’s all part of an elaborate scheme designed by Zoolander’s arch-nemesis Mugatu (Will Ferrell).

WHY: Fans of the original “Zoolander” have been clamoring for a sequel for more than a decade, so it’s not like director/co-writer Ben Stiller didn’t have the time to ensure that it lived up to his 2001 cult comedy. Unfortunately, “Zoolander 2” is such a complete and utter embarrassment that it boggles the mind how it got made. Though there are a handful of laughs scattered throughout the film’s painfully slow 102-minute runtime, most of the movie is predicated on lazy gags and a rapid-fire series of celebrity cameos – a few that are funny (Justin Bieber, Kiefer Sutherland), one that is really awful (Benedict Cumberbatch as a transgender model named All), and a majority of which are incredibly pointless. It’s just one bad thing after the other, from the terrible subplot involving Zoolander’s son, to Kristin Wiig’s entirely superfluous villain, to the surprising lack of chemistry between Stiller and Owen Wilson. While it’s no secret that comedy sequels are notoriously difficult to pull off, “Zoolander 2” is so dreadful that it feels like a poorly made parody of its predecessor.

EXTRAS: There’s a handful of featurettes on the “Zoolander” legacy, shooting in Rome and co-creator Drake Sather, but nothing of real substance.

FINAL VERDICT: SKIP

“The Finest Hours”

WHAT: When a T-2 oil tanker off the coast of Cape Cod is ripped in half during a massive storm in 1952, trapping its surviving crew members on the sinking stern, Coast Guard captain Bernie Webber (Chris Pine) leads a daring rescue attempt into perilous waters while the tanker’s chief engineer, Ray Sybert (Casey Affleck), improvises to buy his crew more time.

WHY: With the exception of the 2007 indie, “Lars and the Real Girl,” director Craig Gillespie’s filmography is pretty underwhelming, and his latest movie is no different. “The Finest Hours” feels very much a product of its time – the kind of wholesome, self-effacing true story that Disney excels at making – but unfortunately, it’s also incredibly cheesy and dull. There’s exactly one thrilling sequence in the entire film, and even that doesn’t seem to properly capture the danger and improbability of the rescue. Instead, the movie just plods along to its inevitable conclusion without any personality or emotional heft, dragged down by a pair of unengaging protagonists and a subplot involving Webber’s fiancée that could have been cut entirely. Chris Pine and Casey Affleck look positively bored by the material, while the rest of the cast (including Ben Foster, Eric Bana, John Ortiz and Michael Raymond-James) are wasted in throwaway roles. “The Finest Hours” is supposed to be about one of the greatest rescues in Coast Guard history, but you wouldn’t know it from this forgettable period drama.

EXTRAS: There’s a featurette about the true story that inspired the film, interviews with the cast about making the movie, a pair of U.S. Coast Guard promotional videos and deleted scenes.

FINAL VERDICT: SKIP

  

Epic Battle of MVPs Inevitable in the NBA Finals

Just recently, with the elimination of the Miami Heat, NBA fans were robbed of a chance to watch two former teammates and good friends compete against each other for a trip to the NBA Finals. While we didn’t get the Eastern Conference Finals matchup we wanted, we sure did in the West. Kevin Durant and Steph Curry are battling it out for a trip to the NBA Finals, and it is must see TV.

The NBA has a lot of stars, but LeBron James, Steph Curry and Kevin Durant are on a level all their own. The trio has won seven MVP awards and will have a combined ten trips to the NBA Finals once they get underway. Regardless of the matchup, someone will be looking for revenge in the Finals. In 2012, LeBron beat Durant and won his first NBA Championship. Last season, Curry beat LeBron (without Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving) and won his first NBA title (the first for the Warriors since 1975).

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Chloë Sevigny is all dolled up

We’re huge fans of the uber-talented Chloë Sevigny and her unique sense of style. Here she’s showing off a look of simple elegance in a photo she shared on her Instagram account. Chloë made some news recently recounting stories of some weird advances she had to endure from several directors over the years after auditions.

  

Blonde Bombshell Andrea Prince

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We're pretty confident you'll be blown away by this new gallery of the incredible Andrea Prince! This blonde bombshell shows off her killer body and amazing curves in some hot lingerie and a sexy ripped shirt.

You can follow the beautiful Andrea on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Enjoy!

All photos by Edwin Villanueva Evolve Photography.

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