They don’t make pretzels like they used to. Pretzels you buy in the store either don’t have enough salt, are too bland or buttery or boring. And don’t get me started on soft pretzels, which Auntie Anne’s has pretty much ruined for all of America. However, there is hope, and there are still awesome pretzels sold in bags and in tubs. And the best of these is Utz brand pretzels. I found these in stores occasionally when living in New York, but hadn’t seen them since moving away from there years ago. But I found Utz products recently online, and bought a few different types of pretzels. Not only do they taste exactly as I remember, but they seem to be even better.
I bought a bag each of the rings, small logs and regular logs. Utz pretzels have very few ingredients so they taste fresh and not processed. And they don’t have that fake shine that most store-brought pretzels have. They are crunchy, generously salted, and just plain delicious. In fact, after going through the three bags rather quickly, I ordered two more large tubs of Utz pretzel rods. Yum.
Oh, and for good measure I also tried the 7-grain pretzels Utz carries. Amazingly, these are also delicious. With seven whole grains, meaning lots of healthy fiber, these are snacks you can feel good about eating and feeding your kids. It can’t be easy to make something healthy taste this good, but Utz delivers, again.
If there’s one thing the good people of Jamba Juice know, it’s fruit. So why would they try to get into the burger business? In truth, they aren’t – this video is just a strong right hook at the fast food industry, which has started to encroach on Jamba Juice territory by offering concoctions they try to pass off as smoothies. Those abominations are about as much smoothie as the cheeseburger shake is a burger, and yet, people order them. That got us to thinking, if people are willing to eat fast food smoothies, who would be willing to eat a cheeseburger shake?
1. Frat guys – If fraternities have a reputation for one thing, it’s their filth. It’s not networking, job prospects, close friends, or even great parties. The real frats, frats that people like you and me went to skill with, were disgusting. They had horrific hazing rituals. Their members (my friends among them) would find absurd bets like “who can kill the most wounded soldiers at the next house party.” These guys would love to ingest a cheeseburger milkshake. You can almost guarantee that a brother at your local party school has tried this very thing to rid himself of a nasty hangover or win the approval of the rest of the house.
2. Hot dog stand regulars – At three in the morning, few things sound quite as good as a hotdog loaded down with onions, jalapenos, chili, coleslaw, and healthy squirt of stadium mustard across the top. For some people, that sounds good at nine in the morning. And for lunch. And as a mid day snack. When you’re in such a hurry to give yourself kidney stones, why not slurp the food through a straw, right? Right.
3. Extreme runners – When I first read about Dean Karnazes I was enchanted. The guy lost it at a party, sprinted into the night and didn’t stop running until morning. That was just the beginning of an insane career. He has gone on to compete in marathons and supermarathons, sometimes entering himself in team competitions and running against five other men by himself. He ran 50 marathons in 50 days across 50 states. He’s completely insane, but he keeps his body going by guzzling calories as he runs. He orders pizzas on the go, snacks on eclairs mid-run. He needs the ridiculous caloric intake just to keep his body running. The cheeseburger shake is perfect for this guy – a calorie bomb you can sip as you sprint.
4. Fast Food fanatics – If you’ve seen Morgan Spurlock’s “Super Size Me,” you know there are people in this world that would prefer the Big Mac to a nice hand-pattied burger. For those few people, you can imagine the cheeseburger shake would be the perfect treat. It’s salty, disgusting, and consumable in three minutes or less. What more could you want?
5. Britney Spears – Britney Spears is a wreck. A complete and utter mess of a human being. When she isn’t flashing her hoo-hah or pressing ham for the paparazzi, she’s busy driving with her kids on her lap and having public – very public – psychotic breakdowns. She’s also known to step into gas station bathrooms barefoot. I don’t know what kind of gas stations you go to, but the bathrooms I see at the local Kwik-N-Go are like something from a horror movie. If the walls aren’t smeared in human excrement there’s usually used toilet paper strewn about and a cocktail of bodily fluid stewing in the turlet. If Britney can stomach that mess without so much as a pair of shoes (much less a biohazard suit), you can bet she’d be willing to slurp down a burger shake without thinking twice.
Summer is here. Well, it’s been here for a while in most parts of the country, and there is lots of it left. That means beaches, lots of outdoor activities and one of the things guys love most–grilling.
But have you ever been in a situation where you just want to spontaneously grill, and you can’t because you’re on the road, unprepared, or out of propane or charcoal?
Well, EZ Grill has the answer, and is the answer for you. Before I ramble on into info-mercialism here, I’ll just tell you that I was sent a sample of one of these mechanisms to try, and I finally did so for lunch today. And let me tell you, it not only cooked my bratwurst to perfection (yeah, I live in Wisconsin), but it was so easy a monkey could do it.
All you need to do is remove the plastic packaging and cardboard top that has the directions on it. You shake the grill and put it on its little stand. Then, and this is important….you have to place it on a heat-resistant surface. For me, this was the concrete patio off of our den. You light the paper underneath the grates that fires up the charcoal beneath it, and you’re ready to rock. After about 10-15 minutes of flames, the grill is ready when the coals are charred and the flames have died down. For you pros, you could have just skipped the last few lines…that’s Grilling 101. Anyway, it took my brat about 10 minutes to cook, and it was previously frozen. So that’s pretty awesome.
The grill is small….it might be able to fit 4 burgers or so. But you can always buy more than one. It’s also disposable and recyclable. A win-win for you and for the environment. And it’s inexpensive. I saw one in the store for $20, but now you can even buy this bundle pack for $19.99. Yes, and if you order now…..(sorry, couldn’t resist!). But you get the idea. This is a great product. Buy a few and keep them on hand or in the trunk of your car for when you might need it.
I have what is probably considered an unhealthy affinity for Pringles. Sure, they’re not real potato chips, just chopped and formed potato crisps with lots of chemical enhancements. But it’s not like most junk foods don’t already fit that description.
Anyway, being that I love spicy food and I know many of you do, I was bowled over last week in the grocery store when I encountered Pringles Extreme, a variety pack with three new flavors of mini-Pringles. The flavors are Smokin’ Hot Ranch, Torchin’ Tamale and Buffalo Wing. And well, they are awesome…for the most part. Here is our take:
Smokin’ Hot Ranch–these tasted like a cross between ranch flavor Doritos and old-school barbecue potato chips. But they have a pleasant spicy kick that hits you in the back of the throat on a time-delay.
Torchin’ Tamale–these were my least favorite of the bunch. There is a salsa flavor with red pepper-y heat. But the onion aftertaste is pretty strong, kind of overwhelming in fact.
Buffalo Wing–nothing sucks about anything that tastes like Buffalo wings. And that’s true of these crisps, which have a nice salty kick akin to real deal wing sauce. These also have a somewhat weird aftertaste, but a pleasant one, keeping that nice authentic wing taste with you.
Overall, this product is highly recommended if you like Pringles or spicy food or both. Go check ’em out!
Everybody loves Snoop Dogg…or if they don’t love him, they at least know who he is. (Seriously, how many other rappers have such instant name recognition?) As such, it should be no surprise that the folks at LANDY Cognac should want to get into bed with Snoop, so that he might assist them in promoting that which has been called “The New Generation of Cognac.”
“The partnership between LANDY and Snoop Dogg creates the perfect platform to launch LANDY’S affordable luxury product,” says Stephen Lewin, Senior Vice President, General Manager of the Spirits Division at W.J. Deutsch Spirits, LLC. “Snoop Dogg epitomizes confidence, innovation and is known to be the life of the party, making him the ideal choice to partner with LANDY Cognac – a brand that mirrors these characteristics. Snoop leads the hip, fashionable and smooth lifestyle that LANDY Cognac represents, and is sure to resonate with the strong urban following that LANDY is rapidly growing.”
Can I get an “aw, yeeeeeeeahhhhhhh“?
Mr. Dogg – who, we are led to understand, was already known to indulge in the beverage prior to striking this deal – will appear at select LANDY events and promotions, and will feature LANDY Cognac at numerous after-parties. We can only hope that he is able to find time in this busy schedule to chat with Bullz-Eye (rest assured that we have made our request), but in the meantime, you’ll want to see the photo that LANDY has released to promote the news of their new collaborator. Normally, we’d put this right out in the open, but we think you’ll agree it’s worth making the jump.
