Ever wonder what it would be like if your facial hair stopped growing or maybe just slowed down a bit so those tough shaves were a part of the past? I had not thought about either of the two but now with Bluebeard’s Revenge shaving cream it could become reality for many of you “real men” out there!
Isn’t it cool that products like “shaving cream” are developing and specializing to niche clientele? I received a can of Bluebeard’s Revenge and I must say it is the most awesome packaging I’ve ever seen for shaving cream. I mean we are talking a skull and cross bones here my friends. When applying the shaving cream I noticed a subtle soapy smell that made me feel like I was cleaning my face as well. It was easy to apply and the shaves I experienced were smooth and clean. The big claim by Bluebeard’s Revenge is after a month of steady use your beard will slow it’s growth because of a novel topical compound called Decelerine in the shaving cream. I’m not here to tell you whether or not that claim is true but I feel the smooth shave alone is enough to support this product.
Happy Friday, everyone. If you’re reading this within 72 hours of when it posts, then we’re standing somewhere in Chicago’s Grant Park, caked in dust from the softball fields the south stage bands are playing on. We’ll give you one guess which band we’re most excited to see. (Note: There is no official video for this song, so we settled for this Rock Band recording because it’s the most visually interesting YouTube clip of the song available.)
Oh, and for the people who made this clip, if you’re looking for a new singer, drop us a line. Ciao.
If there’s one thing the good people of Jamba Juice know, it’s fruit. So why would they try to get into the burger business? In truth, they aren’t – this video is just a strong right hook at the fast food industry, which has started to encroach on Jamba Juice territory by offering concoctions they try to pass off as smoothies. Those abominations are about as much smoothie as the cheeseburger shake is a burger, and yet, people order them. That got us to thinking, if people are willing to eat fast food smoothies, who would be willing to eat a cheeseburger shake?
1. Frat guys – If fraternities have a reputation for one thing, it’s their filth. It’s not networking, job prospects, close friends, or even great parties. The real frats, frats that people like you and me went to skill with, were disgusting. They had horrific hazing rituals. Their members (my friends among them) would find absurd bets like “who can kill the most wounded soldiers at the next house party.” These guys would love to ingest a cheeseburger milkshake. You can almost guarantee that a brother at your local party school has tried this very thing to rid himself of a nasty hangover or win the approval of the rest of the house.
2. Hot dog stand regulars – At three in the morning, few things sound quite as good as a hotdog loaded down with onions, jalapenos, chili, coleslaw, and healthy squirt of stadium mustard across the top. For some people, that sounds good at nine in the morning. And for lunch. And as a mid day snack. When you’re in such a hurry to give yourself kidney stones, why not slurp the food through a straw, right? Right.
3. Extreme runners – When I first read about Dean Karnazes I was enchanted. The guy lost it at a party, sprinted into the night and didn’t stop running until morning. That was just the beginning of an insane career. He has gone on to compete in marathons and supermarathons, sometimes entering himself in team competitions and running against five other men by himself. He ran 50 marathons in 50 days across 50 states. He’s completely insane, but he keeps his body going by guzzling calories as he runs. He orders pizzas on the go, snacks on eclairs mid-run. He needs the ridiculous caloric intake just to keep his body running. The cheeseburger shake is perfect for this guy – a calorie bomb you can sip as you sprint.
4. Fast Food fanatics – If you’ve seen Morgan Spurlock’s “Super Size Me,” you know there are people in this world that would prefer the Big Mac to a nice hand-pattied burger. For those few people, you can imagine the cheeseburger shake would be the perfect treat. It’s salty, disgusting, and consumable in three minutes or less. What more could you want?
5. Britney Spears – Britney Spears is a wreck. A complete and utter mess of a human being. When she isn’t flashing her hoo-hah or pressing ham for the paparazzi, she’s busy driving with her kids on her lap and having public – very public – psychotic breakdowns. She’s also known to step into gas station bathrooms barefoot. I don’t know what kind of gas stations you go to, but the bathrooms I see at the local Kwik-N-Go are like something from a horror movie. If the walls aren’t smeared in human excrement there’s usually used toilet paper strewn about and a cocktail of bodily fluid stewing in the turlet. If Britney can stomach that mess without so much as a pair of shoes (much less a biohazard suit), you can bet she’d be willing to slurp down a burger shake without thinking twice.
One our favorite songs from 2008, this L.A. band freaked the shit out of us when we saw what they looked like, but one spin of the first single from their Cheat the Gallows album was enough to make us say, “We’re in.” Like some demented extension of Jellyfish’s Spilt Milk after the band grew bored with Queen and moved on to Pink Floyd, “Money, It’s Pure Evil” is one of the most epic three-minute rock songs ever recorded, and there is even a part of the solol (first notes in the second half) that we could swear were taken straight from a Floyd, or at the very least David Gilmour, solo, but damned if we can figure out which one. As first we thought it was from “Comfortably Numb,” but nope. Then we thought it might be from “Time,” but nope. Either way, it’s positively Gilmourian, and there are few guitarists we hold in higher esteem than Sir Dave. Tune up your air guitars and even your air violins – they’re about to be put to use.
As for the video, well, it’s suitably creepy to go with the band’s serial killer look. Two girls are offered the chance to presumably sell their souls for money, and the one who agrees becomes famous but ends up looking like the Black Dahlia, which is a pretty shitty trade, if you ask us. That movie was terrible.
Most of us guys think we know it all when it comes to grooming and women. Wrong! There is no better way to learn about both subjects than a real live study. Good thing our friends at AXE are on the ball and these results are worth noting.
This AXE study was conducted with Guys and Girls at six major U.S. colleges and universities to learn what they thought about male grooming. In this study 261 guys were asked to shower with bar soap for one week and with AXE shower gel and the AXE detailer shower tool for one week (for all of you guys out there that don’t use AXE don’t get too nervous as no permanent damage is done just yet!).
Here are some of the results for all of the inquiring minds out there:
* 66% of girls surveyed felt that a guy who put more effort into their personal hygiene was sexy.
* A shower a day makes the girls want to play! 75% of the girls said they would only date a guy who showered daily.
* 90% of guys said they smelled better after using AXE Shower Gel.
* 88% of guys felt more confident in high pressure situations including presentations after showering with AXE.
* (This is the big one) While using AXE Shower Gel and the AXE Detailer Shower tool, guys were seven times more likely to hook up than guys who used bar soap alone.
Ever wonder what it would be like if your facial hair stopped growing or maybe just slowed down a bit so those tough shaves were a part of the past? I had not thought about either of the two but now with Bluebeard’s Revenge shaving cream it could become reality for many of you “real men” out there!
