Blu-ray Review: Cosmopolis

On paper, the marriage of cult film director David Cronenberg and cult novelist Don DeLillo is no doubt an ideal one, but movies require bringing dozens or even hundreds of other random factors into the mix, and it’s the director’s job to bring all of it together into one cohesive vision. “Cosmopolis” should have been a masterpiece, and bubbling away beneath its immensely flawed surface, one can see that masterpiece lurking. Unfortunately, the film is painted wall to wall with an uninspired, thoughtless and flat performance from Robert Pattinson that drags the entire affair down to nearly unwatchable. He is in every scene and the entire picture revolves around him. Understand, I’ve nothing against Pattinson. Being largely unfamiliar with his work, I went into “Cosmopolis” assuming that Cronenberg would work cinematic legerdemain with the actor, as he has done countless times before with dozens of players. He did not.

People will argue that Pattinson’s billionaire Eric Packer is supposed to be dreary and lifeless, jaded about life as he is, and desperately keen to feel something – anything – as he takes his epic limo ride from one side of the city to the other just to get a haircut. I would argue back that it takes an actor with far greater chops and insight into his craft to achieve the performance necessary to make this movie work. It needed a young James Spader perhaps, or a Christian Bale, who already played a version of Packer in “American Psycho.” Allegedly, Colin Farrell was cast as Packer, but had to drop out due to conflicts with “Total Recall,” which is a big shame for film as an art form. It’s too bad, too, because “Cosmopolis” surrounds Pattinson with people like Juliette Binoche, Samantha Morton and Paul Giamatti, all of whom attempt brave, inspired work that’s ultimately all for naught, since Pattinson’s like a giant pillow suffocating everyone and everything he comes into contact with. Sadly, there is no movie for this writer to review or discuss beyond this massive, fatal flaw. Perhaps you will be able to see it differently than I, and with all due reverence to both Cronenberg and DeLillo, I urge you to at least give it a shot.

The Blu-ray includes a commentary track from Cronenberg, a featurette on the film, and interviews with the cast and crew.

  

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Doing the Math: Here’s How CBS Can Subtract Sheen and Still Come Up With “Two and a Half Men”

If you’ve paid any attention whatsoever to the entertainment news coming out of Hollywood in the past few weeks, then you can’t help but be aware of Charlie Sheen’s increasingly strange shenanigans and how they’ve directly affected the rest of the cast and crew of CBS’s long-running and ridiculously-successful sitcom, “Two and a Half Men.” Who would’ve thought that the infamous hotel incident in October 2010 would’ve proven to be one of the lesser moments on the actor’s ever-lengthening list of embarrassing incidents?

Now, after making the decision to bypass traditional rehab in favor of curing his drug and alcohol issues with his mind, Sheen has been running off at the mouth so much that CBS has pulled the plug and decided to call off the remainder of the episodes that had been planned for this season.

But what of next season? More importantly, given all of the nasty remarks that Sheen’s made toward series creator Chuck Lorre, will there even be a next season?

We know that CBS, Warner Brothers Television, and Lorre have ostensibly ruled out continuing “Two and a Half Men” without Sheen, but if we’re to be honest, it seems like the better tactic would be for the whole lot of them to say, “Hey, Charlie, read our lips: one monkey don’t stop no show,” then find a new man to join Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones and keep the title intact. We know things are kind of crazy over there at the moment, though, so we thought we’d at least try to help them a bit with the casting process.

Sure, they say they won’t continue without Charlie…but, then, they haven’t seen our suggestions yet.

Read the rest of this entry »

  

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