Movie Review: “Ted 2″

Mark Wahlberg, Seth MacFarlane, Amanda Seyfried, Jessica Barth, Giovanni Ribisi, Morgan Freeman
Seth MacFarlane

“Ted 2” is a sweet but profane love letter to Universal Pictures. Writer/director/star Seth MacFarlane references several high-profile Universal properties, with the plot serving as the connective tissue. This naturally makes for a threadbare story, to be sure, but this is Seth MacFarlane we’re talking about. The man has never let story get in the way of a good joke, or even a bad one. To the surprise of no one, “Ted 2” has plenty of each.

The story begins at the wedding of magical, real-life teddy bear Ted (MacFarlane) and Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth). Ted’s best friend John (Mark Wahlberg) is happy for the couple, but still reeling from his recent divorce. Ted and Tami-Lyn have a perfect wedding day, but one year later, they are fighting nonstop. Ted suggests that having a baby might solve their problems (this is a terrible, terrible idea, for the record), but after their attempts to do in vitro or adopt fail, Ted finds his life unraveling as his creditors begin terminating his accounts on the grounds that the government doesn’t recognize him as a real person.

John and Ted retain a top-rate lawyer to fight for Ted’s civil rights, and he assigns it to his niece and junior attorney, Samantha (Amanda Seyfriend), who does the case pro bono. While they’re working on Ted’s defense, Ted stalker Donny (Giovanni Ribisi) conspires with the president of Hasbro to kidnap Ted pending him losing the case (as he will officially be considered property at that point), so they can use his mojo to mass produce “human” Teds.

Read the rest of this entry »


You can follow us on Twitter and Facebook for content updates. Also, sign up for our email list for weekly updates and check us out on Google+ as well.

Movie Review: “The Gambler”

Mark Wahlberg, Brie Larson, Michael K. Williams, John Goodman, Jessica Lange
Rupert Wyatt

Rupert Wyatt’s “The Gambler” is a curious beast. It’s based on a film that’s just obscure enough that a remake wouldn’t ruffle too many feathers, yet is well-regarded by those who have seen it. In other words, the 1974 original starring James Caan isn’t exactly holy ground, but there’s not much to improve on either, which makes this Mark Wahlberg vanity project feel every bit as irrelevant as the story it’s trying to tell. There’s nothing wrong with flawed characters – in fact, that’s what makes some of the best movies – but when they’re as irredeemable as the one that Wahlberg plays in “The Gambler,” it makes it very difficult to give a damn what happens to him.

Wahlberg stars as Jim Bennett, a college English professor who gave up on his literary dream after his first novel was met with little fanfare. The grandson of a banking magnate, Jim partly attributes his privileged upbringing to becoming the degenerate, high-stakes gambler that’s led him to his current predicament. After falling into debt with a Korean mobster (Alvin Lee), and then borrowing money from nefarious loan shark Neville Baraka (Michael K. Williams) that he promptly loses on the blackjack table while trying to win back what he owes, Jim is given seven days to pay or else. When his mother (Jessica Lange) eventually caves in and gives him the $260,000 to clear his debt, vowing that it’ll be the last time she bails him out, Jim blows it at the casino instead, putting him in a precarious position when Neville threatens the lives of his two students.

Read the rest of this entry »


Celebrating American Heroes: Navy SEALS “Lone Survivor” Weekend

If you saw the movie “Lone Survivor,” you know that words really can’t explain the pride one feels after seeing the heroism on screen. Based on Marcus Luttrell’s New York Times bestselling memoir, director Peter Berg explores the unbreakable bond of brotherhood in a film that captures the real life struggles of these proud Navy SEALS. “Lone Survivor” tells the incredible tale of Operation Red Wings, a mission about four Navy SEALs ambushed by the enemy deep in the mountains of Afghanistan. As the soldiers are confronted by unthinkable odds, they must find reserves of strength and resilience in order to fight to the finish. Before the “Lone Survivor” launch on digital HD and Blu–ray June 3rd, Universal Studios brought in a highly-skilled press team (Bullz-Eye, of course, was a key player) to experience first-hand the type of training SEALS go through. Also included in this experience was the opportunity to meet and spend time with Berg and Luttrell, the real-life Navy SEAL who received the Navy Cross and Purple Heart for his actions in Operation Red Wings.

Regardless of what happened on this trip, we knew that just by staying at the Hay-Adams Hotel, it was going to be a memorable weekend, as the Hay-Adams is literally right across the street from the White House and is basically a 5-star hotel. Yes folks, there are times when even Bullz-Eye has to clean up and hang with the elite members of our society. But don’t worry, there were no problems, because we know when to behave! After a quiet evening on Thursday, we were up and ready to hit the road at 5:45 am to take part in true Navy SEAL experiences, including weapons training with Uzis, machine guns and AK 47s, and for those who think rappelling is challenging, that event was available as well.


It was an early start, but that was necessary, as the Extreme SEAL Experience was taking place in Norfolk, VA, which took us around 4 hours in the Media Elite Bus. We eventually arrived at the Extreme SEAL Experience, which is owned and operated by real-life badass Don Shipley. Per Wikipedia, Don Shipley is a former U.S. Navy SEAL, expert trainer and media personality who provides his expertise to many media organizations. He retired after 24 years as a SEAL Senior Chief in 2003. He served in SEAL Team ONE, SEAL Team TWO, the Naval Special Warfare Center, BUD/S and Naval Special Warfare Group TWO in Little Creek, Virginia as a SEAL Advanced Training Instructor. Shipley conducted operations in Bosnia, Liberia and Africa while at SEAL Team TWO, and became the first non-corpsman SEAL to graduate paramedic school. He served in eight SEAL Platoons, was Platoon Chief in five, and was awarded the Navy and Marine Corps Medal for Heroism during a Search and Rescue Mission.

Setting records for immense water and land demolition shots and running high-risk training courses, he also served as an Explosives Expert instructing police departments across the country in Booby Traps and Improvised Explosive Devices. When not in a SEAL Platoon or deployed overseas, his time was spent running blocks of training for SEALs in air operations, land warfare and demolitions. After retirement, he became a Blackwater Security Contractor, spending a year in Pakistan and Afghanistan fighting the war on terror. Don also runs a training course with fellow former U.S. Navy SEALs teaching and training men who aspire to become U.S. Navy SEALs. Don is also known to be at the forefront of bringing Stolen Valor to the limelight in the media, going after and exposing military impostors and frauds.

Read the rest of this entry »


Movie Review: “2 Guns”

Denzel Washington, Mark Wahlberg, Paula Patton, Bill Paxton, James Marden, Edward James Olmos
Baltasar Kormákur

If you told us that the script for “2 Guns” had been collecting dust in Universal’s vault since 1997, it wouldn’t surprise us in the slightest. Between the reluctant but chatty partners, the non-linear timeline, the quirky but deadly spooks, the unconventional interrogation, the lone female character of importance-turned-hostage, the Mexican standoff, and most importantly, the complete disregard for logic, movies don’t get much more ‘90s than this one. Thankfully, it’s also a lot of fun. It may not have an original thought in its head, but it has Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg, and they sell the hell out of it.

Bobby (Washington) and Stig (Wahlberg) are trying to make a big score with Mexican drug lord Papi Greco (Edward James Olmos). The deal doesn’t go down the way they expect, so the two hatch a backup plan: steal the money that their closest ally in Papi’s camp has been stashing, in a small bank in a one-horse town north of the border. Bobby and Stig are expecting a certain amount of cash, but wind up with over ten times that much, and before they know it, they are on the run from every law enforcement agency in the country, not to mention Papi’s drug cartel. Also of note: Bobby and Stig are undercover agents for the DEA and the Navy, respectively, though neither of them knew about the other until everything hit the fan.

Read the rest of this entry »


An okay evening at Spike TV’s “Guys Choice” Awards

We’re fussy about Red Carpet events here at Bullz-Eye central. That’s largely because as a lone, online writer you’re pretty much at the mercy of the publicity gods in terms of who you’re going to meet up with and you never know who that’s going to be. One condition we have is that we get to see the show/movie/what-have-you in question so, if all else fails, we can write about that or at least get a bit of entertainment and free food. In this case, that was a good thing. Not because we didn’t get to talk to anybody interesting, but because Spike TV’s “Guys Choice” presentation, which premieres on the network at 9:00 Eastern/6:00 PDT Friday is not your usual award show.

Right down to the sexy female dancers who liven up the breaks and its highly distinctive award statue, “the Mantlers,” it’s easily the most laid back and honestly silly awards show I’ve seen. It’s also the only award show we know of which contains R-rated profanity in one of its award titles: the “Funniest Motherf*cker” award, this year being given to Jim Carrey. It’s safe the say the show was completely irreverent about everything, except for its commendable commitment to drawing attention to the bravery and sacrifices made by members of our armed forces.

Speaking of Jim Carrey, the famed comic provided a remarkable bit of comedy dealing with the always absolutely never hilarious topic of..oh, Lord, we’d better just leave it alone. You don’t want to know. Carrey himself made it clear that children and other sensitive people were better off not hearing the routine before proceeding with a shocking and explosively funny performance, abetted by the sensitive stylings of violinist Neil Hammond.

More traditionally edgy and hilarious at certain points, but a lot longer, was a marathon bit by faux canine Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog, aka comic genius Robert Smigel. The latter merited a bad on-camera review from Sean Penn who between this show and his criticism of Ricky Gervais at Golden Globes, seems to be developing a side career as a real-time award show comedy critic.

Mila Kunis at the Spike Guy's Choice AwardsJustin Timberlake less controversially proved himself to be, once again, no comic slouch, while promoting the charms of the co-star of his next flick, “Friends with Benefits,” the beautiful and talented Mila Kunis. Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards distinguished himself by simply being alive to pick up his award and being the innately humourous individual he is.

And so it went. I’ll have a few choice quotes from the show at the end of this piece. First, though, let’s talk about the folks we met on the Red Carpet.

Read the rest of this entry »


Related Posts