Last week, Yankee pitcher C.C. Sabathia made news when he explained that he lost 25 pounds during the off-season by kicking his Cap’n Crunch habit. “I used to eat it a box at a time,” he said.
Now, any fool knows that most breakfast cereals aren’t the best option if you’re looking to drop some pounds, so C.C. should have figured this out long ago. I interviewed C.C. after an Indians game in the locker room during his rookie season, and the towel around his waist could have been used as a tarp on the infield. The guy was huge.
That said, we can sympathize with the man, as most people know this stuff is incredibly addictive. We might not eat a box at a time like this 300+ pound athlete, but we’ve all been there where we couldn’t put the stuff down. You eat bowl after bowl, and then you can’t move for hours. The cereal companies know this so they spend millions on commercials trying to get you to try their stuff, hoping one bowl will get you hooked for life.
With that in mind I’ve put together my own list of the 11 most addictive breakfast cereals together with a commercial or related video. Most of this is a personal list, but I’ve added a few based on reputation alone, even though they aren’t my favorites.
11. Chocolate Cheerios
I happened to discover this new creation the day before the C.C. story broke. I’ve been laying off the sugary cereal for years except for brief moments of weakness, and I broke down when I saw this new creation at the drug store. The strange thing is that it’s not completely loaded with sugar, as it has fewer calories than many other addictive cereals. But the chocolate flavor makes this one incredible, and you just can’t stop eating it.
As for a commercial, we couldn’t find anything other than homemade tributes on YouTube, all of which were terrible.
They billed it as a big cereal with a big taste. The commercials sucked from what we can remember, and this one was particularly bad.
This stuff isn’t that sweet, but it’s still addictive. The big selling point was that Crispix would stay crunchy in milk, and it certainly held up better than cereals like Golden Grahams, that would basically turn into a delicious mush. Here’s a spectacularly bad Crispix commercial.
8. Fruit Loops
You don’t really think of fruit when you eat this cereal. It’s pretty much a blast of sugar in all sorts of colors – more like candy. The commercials weren’t bad with Toucan Sam as the mascot. Some might prefer Fruity Pebbles, as it’s one of the soggy cereal classics, but I always preferred the Loops.
7. Frosted Flakes
This stuff basically tastes like pure sugar, but you can’t stop eating it after you start. The commercials were always a huge hit, with Tony the Tiger saying “They’re Grrrreat!” Here’s one of the oldest ones we found.
6. Apple Jacks
This is probably the best cereal out there with a big cinnamon taste. Here’s a classic commercial from way back when.
5. Corn Pops
I haven’t tried this stuff with the sweet corn flavor in years but I always loved it. This one should be inducted in the soggy hall of fame as well.
4. Cap’n Crunch
This one did in poor C.C. It’s never been one of my favorites, but countless people swear by it, and MrBreakfast.com named it the all-time greatest breakfast cereal. Here’s a great spoof of the Captain from “Family Guy.”
3. Honey Nut Cheerios
Before the Chocolate Cheerios came around, this favorite of Omar from “The Wire” was a longtime staple in my kitchen. Here’s one the early commercials with the jingle they milked for years.
2. Golden Grahams
It was tough keeping this one off the #1 spot, as the graham cracker taste is just incredible. As I explained above, these things get soggy pretty fast in milk, but they’re incredible when they’re crunchy and even when they become soggy. Here’s a pretty funny commercial without the annoying jingle.
1. Cocoa Puffs
Clearly, I have a real problem when it comes to chocolate – I can’t stop. By the time you get near the end of the bowl with Cocoa Puffs, you’re basically left with delicious chocolate milk. There are other brands that max out the chocolate flavor, like Count Chocula (one of the coolest cereal names ever), Cocoa Pebbles and Cocoa Krispies, but nothing tasted as good or as chocolaty as the Puffs. The commercials, on the other hand, were pretty lame….
We probably left off one of your favorites, so go ahead and slam us in the comments….
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