Ricky Gervais, Tina Fey, Ty Burrell, Steve Whitmire, Eric Jacobson, Dave Goelz

James Bobin

Hats off to the sequel that begins with poking fun at its inherent shortcomings – in a musical number, no less – then proceeds to surpass its predecessor in nearly every way. “Muppets Most Wanted” has a plot that will challenge the kids without boring their parents, better songs (by a country mile), and a healthy dose of self-awareness. The main appeal of the Jason Segel-scripted “The Muppets” was its innocence and a longing for a less cynical time, but for the franchise to remain so naïve to the real world would have been disastrous. “Muppets Most Wanted” finds that ideal middle ground between their world and ours.

The story begins, in a behind-the-curtain manner, at the very end of the previous film, as the first of many cameos calls a wrap on the first film and the Muppets are left pondering what to do next. In steps agent Dominic Badguy (Ricky Gervais, and he insists it’s pronounced ‘Badgie’), who suggests that the Muppets do a European tour. What the Muppets don’t know is that Badguy is a world-class thief, as well as the right-hand man to Constantine, the world’s most dangerous criminal mastermind and a dead ringer for Kermit the Frog. Constantine escapes from his Siberian prison, while Dominic sets up Kermit to be mistaken for recent escapee Constantine. Kermit is sent to Siberia, and Dominic and Constantine revolve the Muppets’ European tour around the locations of the artifacts that will enable them to pull off the ultimate heist. Strangely, no one suspects that Kermit has been replaced, though certain members of the group smelled a rat from the beginning. Why doesn’t anyone listen to the drummer?

Speaking as a parent, one of the great things about “Muppets Most Wanted” is how it shows kids the dark side of always getting what they want, which is that it comes at the expense of getting what they need. Kermit has always been a father figure to the members of his troupe, and that role is magnified here when he’s replaced with a cold careerist who wins them over by indulging their egos. The plot may mandate that the rest of the Muppets cannot tell right away that Constantine isn’t Kermit, but in their hearts, they know that this newfound freedom and lack of discipline is wrong. Parental win!

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Pat Healy, Ethan Embry, David Koechner, Sara Paxton, Amanda Fuller

E.L. Katz

While SXSW captured headlines recently for a rapper getting arrested for starting a riot and a pop icon being voluntarily puked on, one of the fruits of last year’s festival is hitting theaters this week with the appropriately named “Cheap Thrills.”

The cult classic in the making by first-time director E.L Katz starts off innocently enough, just like a crime drama or an episode of “Dr. Drew.” Loving husband and new father Craig (Pat Healy) is about to have one of the worst mornings ever as he rips an eviction letter off his door on the way to work. That’s not the only eviction he’s treated to, though, as he’s also fired from his job as a low-end auto mechanic. Instead of going home, he drowns his sorrows in the nearest dive bar he can find.

Of course, bars in the morning are filled with nasty drinks and even nastier characters, one of which is Craig’s old high school buddy, Vince (Ethan Embry), a collection agent who brags that he once broke a guy’s arm in front of his daughter for $80. And you thought collection calls were bad.

The two are approached by Colin (David Koechner), the type of guy that screams “I make good money in sales and can prove it.” He’s quick to hand out a handshake and, more importantly, free drinks alongside his trophy wife Violet (Sara Paxton), who has ten times the sex appeal and one tenth the need to talk. Before you can say “Fear Factor,” Colin is daring the pair to do crazy things for money. It starts out tame enough, like seeing who can down Tequila shots the quickest or get slapped by a cocktail waitress, but things take a turn at a nearby strip club where Craig takes the worst kind of dare by punching a bouncer. Our hero awakens in Colin’s home with a bloody nose and the introduction of Phase 2 of their night of Dollars for Dares. This time, the stakes are in the thousands and get as dangerous and seductive as their hosts.

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Here’s exotic model Claudia Verela in a sexy pose as she wears a silver body suit unzipped to show off her impressive cleavage.

There’s a new kind of bible in town – and it’s unlike anything you’ve seen before.

We all know games of cards for what they are – a social pastime that can get men and women together in a variety of situations, from informal game nights to fighting to the death poker rounds. Poker, by its very nature, is a game, and is often overlooked in the media, save for a few references in Robert DeNiro movies.

Lights, camera, action

This is to become a thing of the past however, as the geniuses over at Titan Poker have added a new facet to their world of online gambling. The poker addicts have fused the controversial topics of religion and gambling, coming up with a recipe for laughter – the poker bible.

As its blurb states, The Poker Bible is a humorist book made up for poker fans connecting both the world of the Bible and its scripts and that of the poker game. The Bible, as it is so blasphemously known, has also been transformed into a tongue in cheek cartoon movie, with a trailer voice over so familiar you might just think you’re listening to Morgan Freeman.

Watch this trailer and you might just think you’re watching Morgan Freeman.

Not quite so black and white

So how exactly can the chalk and cheese topics of gambling and religion be married up into a new fad? Well it would appear that the two are not quite so different after all. In fact, many people think that poker evolved just 150 years ago, when in reality, the game has been proven to have dated back to biblical times.

Keeping everything very tongue in cheek, Titan Poker’s Poker Bible mirrors the words and phrases of the original Christian bible, and even has its own set of commandments by which to live (for the really keen poker players among us.) ‘Thou shall not bluff frequently against thine neighbor’ is just one of the cheeky rules, others of which include ‘honor your dealer’ and ‘remember to play the right cards and keep them holy.’

While it may not get you into heaven, the Poker Bible is the poker fan’s go to guide for the rules and regulations of poker, without having to get too bogged down in the details. If good old fashioned praying and church attending isn’t working out for you, you may just find yourself a little more fortunate in life if you stick to this good book.

Many in the boxing world felt slightly cheated when Floyd Mayweather announced that he would face Argentinian Marcos Maidana on May 3rd, rather than Amir Khan. The undisputed pound-for-pound king had stated that he would let the fans decide whom he would fight, but despite Khan coming out in the poll, “Money” opted to face Maidana.

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