Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Luke Evans, Ian McKellen, Lee Pace, Evangeline Lilly, Orlando Bloom

Peter Jackson

The conclusion to Peter Jackson’s “The Hobbit” trilogy is being marketed as “The Defining Chapter,” so why does it feel like less of a triumphant celebration than a weary sigh? It’s probably because the films as a whole have been such an exhausting experience, largely due to the decision to expand the initial two-part plan into three movies. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, it simply wasn’t necessary, and that’s never been more evident than with “The Battle of the Five Armies,” a 144-minute marathon of masturbatory excess in which the titular set piece (one that’s contained within a single chapter in Tolkien’s novel) makes up almost half of its bloated runtime. The fact that “The Battle of the Five Armies” is the shortest of any of Jackson’s Middle-earth films proves the futility of the three-movie model, but that hasn’t stopped him from dragging it out anyway. After all, a two-hour film just wouldn’t feel as epic.

The story picks up right where “The Desolation of Smaug” left off, with the treasure-hoarding dragon flying towards Lake-town to wreak havoc on the city. While the townspeople flee as their homes are burned to the ground, Bard the Bowman (Luke Evans) manages to slay Smaug by shooting a dwarven-made black arrow into a weak spot in its armored scales. But when Bard and the survivors head to the Lonely Mountain seeking refuge and payment for their services, Thorin (Richard Armitage) – who’s since been consumed by the dragon sickness that plagued his grandfather – refuses to help them, believing that it’s all a ruse to steal his beloved gold. As Thorin and his fellow dwarves prepare for battle against the men of Lake-town and Thranduil’s (Lee Pace) elven army, Gandalf (Ian McKellen) escapes from Dol Guldur just in time to warn them of a much bigger threat: Azog the Defiler is marching upon Erebor with a battalion of orcs to seize the stronghold, and they’ll need to put aside their differences and fight alongside each other in order to stop them.

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Martin Freeman, Ian McKellan, Richard Armitage, Luke Evans, Orlando Bloom, Evangeline Lilly, Benedict Cumberbatch

Peter Jackson

There are a couple of reasons why the “Hobbit” movies, to date, have not had the impact that their “Lord of the Rings” predecessors did, despite having better special effects. The first one is obviously fatigue; Peter Jackson has now made what is for all intents and purposes the same movie five times. Five, times, and there is one more coming. The bigger problem, though, is this: five hours into the “Hobbit” story, the good guys have slaughtered hundreds upon hundreds of bad guys (both biped and arachnid), and they have not lost a single soldier. The lack of stakes for the characters, combined with the knowledge of which characters play a larger role in the subsequent “Lord of the Rings” books, undermines all attempts to establish a realistic sense of peril. Wait, Gandalf is in trouble? Whatever – he clearly lives to fight in “The Fellowship of the Ring,” so don’t sweat it.

This is unfortunate, because “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug” is quite entertaining despite the lopsidedness of the battles and needless “Clone Wars”-type political drama that director Peter Jackson foists upon the good people of Lake-town. A Tolkien-loving friend of ours swears that only five percent of the story in “Smaug” is in the original text. That is not nearly as much of a concern to us as the fact that no one dies in these movies.

Fresh from their escape from a pack of Orcs at the end of “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” courtesy of a group of giant eagles, Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman), Gandalf the Grey (Sir Ian McKellen), and a band of dwarves led by Thorin (Richard Armitage) continue their journey to reclaim Thorin’s family’s homeland in the Lonely Mountain, inside which are untold riches and a fire-breathing dragon named Smaug (Benedict Cumberbatch) who claims both riches and fortress as his own. Gandalf leaves them at the edge of the forest of Mirkwood to do a fact-finding mission. Bilbo and the dwarves find themselves in trouble almost instantly, battling giant spiders in the forest, only to be captured by wood elves afterwards. Bilbo uses the invisibility powers of the Ring to slip past the elves and free the dwarves, but the Orcs are soon on their tail again. To escape the Orcs, the group makes a deal with shipman Bard (Luke Evans), who smuggles them into the human-populated Lake-town so they can fulfill the prophecy and take back what is theirs. Smaug, however, is not inclined to go quietly.

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