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Movie Review: “Pixels”

Starring
Adam Sandler, Josh Gad, Peter Dinklage, Michelle Monaghan, Kevin James, Brian Cox, Sean Bean
Director
Chris Columbus

Adam Sandler has said that the goal of “Pixels” was to be a modern-day version of an early-period Amblin Entertainment film (think “The Goonies,” “Gremlins” and “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”), something entertaining but also absolutely bonkers, and plays by its own rules. By that measure, “Pixels” is a smashing success. This movie is ridiculous, but in watching it, you realize that it’s been a long time since a live-action summer movie had the nerve to be ridiculous. It’s been this superhero movie or that graphic novel, and with the exception of “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World,” they’ve all been deathly serious. “Pixels” revels in its silliness, and in the process gives the audience some wildly entertaining battle and chase sequences as a bonus. This is one absurd, but fun, movie. If it had a theme song, it would be “Weird” Al Yankovic’s “Dare to Be Stupid.” That’s a compliment, for the record.

When Sam Brenner (Sandler) was a teen (in 1982), his future was impossibly bright. He was the best video gamer in town, but his hopes were crushed when smack-talking Eddie Plant came to town and beat him in a tournament. (Eddie is played by Peter Dinklage, who modeled his look after real-life Donkey Kong champion, and “The King of Kong” supervillain, Billy Mitchell. If you have not yet seen this movie, stop reading this and watch it right now. NOW, damn it.) The footage of that tournament was sent into space, where it was received by an alien race…and interpreted to be a declaration of war.

Thirty-three years later, the aliens arrive, in the form of the 8-bit video game characters that were in the video, destroying a US military base in Guam, and then a major international landmark. Sam now installs high-tech audio and video systems, while his teen years buddy Will Cooper (Kevin James) is the President of the United States. President Cooper, once he realizes what they’re up against, brings in Sam, and their onetime gamer friend-turned-conspiracy theorist Ludlow Lamonsoff (Josh Gad) to advise the military, much to the military’s chagrin, on how to defeat their enemy. Later, when Sam and Ludlow show that they are better soldiers in this war than the actual soldiers, the government makes a deal with the now-incarcerated Eddie to enlist the help of the self-branded “Fireblaster” (that nickname is so very ‘80s, and so very douchey). They’ve already lost the first two battles, though, so using video game logic, if they lose one more, it’s game over for the planet.

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Buyers Guide: What You Should Look for in Your New TV

Are you in the market for a new television? It’s the golden age for purchasing new sets, because the technology continues to evolve each year. Since the widespread adoption of HDTV, picking the right unit has become quite the challenge. Here’s a buyer’s guide to help you understand what to look for in a new television.

Size Matters

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The size issue applies in both directions. If you buy a large unit for a smaller room, you may discover that you don’t enjoy a perfect view of the entire set. If you place the HDTV five feet from your view area, any unit larger than 40” will cause this problem. Conversely, in a larger room, where you’ll position the television seven feet or farther away, you’ll want at least a 56” HDTV. Check a distance chart to verify the appropriate size for your needs.

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Advice on Preventing Sports Injuries

Playing sports and exercising offer many rewards and benefits for our physical and mental health. However, the physical nature of sports and exercise can result in painful injuries. This is why it is important to follow these ten guidelines for practicing any type of sport or exercise.

Always Use Protective Equipment

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Depending on what sport you are playing, this includes properly fitting pads, helmets, face guards, mouthpieces, protective cups, eyewear, shin guards, etc. Be aware that even this protective gear may not protect you from all injuries.

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Blu Tuesday: What We Do in the Shadows and The Water Diviner

Every Tuesday, I review the newest Blu-ray releases and let you know whether they’re worth buying, renting or skipping, along with a breakdown of the included extras. If you see something you like, click on the cover art to purchase the Blu-ray from Amazon, and be sure to share each week’s column on Facebook and Twitter with your friends.

“What We Do in the Shadows”

WHAT: Filmed in the months leading up to the annual Unholy Masquerade Ball, a documentary crew follows a group of vampires – including Victorian dandy Viago (Taika Waititi), medieval torturer Vladimir (Jemaine Clement) and resident bad boy Deacon (Jonathan Brugh) – living together in Wellington, New Zealand as they deal with the dull minutiae of everyday life as an ancient bloodsucker. But when newly turned vampire Nick (Cori Gonzalez-Macuer) moves in, he helps usher his fellow housemates into the 21st century.

WHY: “What We Do in the Shadows” sounds like a bad comedy sketch – a “Real World”-esque reality show with vampires in place of horny millennials – but it’s actually a very funny satire of the vampire subgenre that’s done in the deadpan style of a Christopher Guest mockumentary. Because of the loose, improvisational nature of the film, not every joke lands, but the ones that do are laugh-out-loud hilarious, skewering centuries of vampire lore with goofy sight gags, clever observations about vamp culture and run-ins with a pack of werewolves led by Jemaine Clement’s “Flight of the Conchords” co-star Rhys Darby. But for everything that the movie gets right, “What We Do in the Shadows” suffers from the same problem as Taika Waititi and Clement’s last collaboration, the geek-chic rom-com “Eagle vs. Shark” – namely, that the concept feels like it’s been stretched well beyond its limits, despite the brisk 85-minute runtime. This is an idea that was better suited as a short film, although there’s so much funny material here that it’s understandable why they felt the need to expand it to feature length. As a result, “What We Do in the Shadows” never quite attains the instant cult status that it seems to be heading towards in the first act, but any movie that makes you laugh this hard (even if only sporadically) deserves the shower of praise that’s been heaped upon it.

EXTRAS: There’s an audio commentary by writers/directors/stars Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi, a behind-the-scenes featurette, deleted scenes, interviews and more.

FINAL VERDICT: RENT

“The Water Diviner”

WHAT: Several years after his three sons presumably died while fighting in the Battle of Gallipoli, Australian farmer Joseph Connor (Russell Crowe) travels to Turkey in search of the truth about what really happened on the battlefield.

WHY: For those wondering how an actor of Russell Crowe’s talent could possibly be convinced to star in a movie as atrocious as “Winter’s Tale,” look no further than his directorial debut, an equally overdramatic piece of pseudo-magical realism that thankfully isn’t quite as bad. Crowe certainly has a good eye for the kind of epic storytelling that he’s trying to achieve with his first stint behind the camera, but despite some decent visuals and a solid performance from the actor himself, “The Water Diviner” is too easily distracted by its numerous subplots. The story of Joshua’s search for his missing sons isn’t substantial enough to warrant an entire movie, so writers Andrew Knight and Andrew Anastasios have tacked on a romantic subplot between Crowe and Olga Kurylenko’s Turkish widow (which doesn’t seem right considering Joshua is still mourning the death of his wife), as well as flashbacks of his sons in battle that are incredibly difficult to watch. The latter wouldn’t be that much of a problem if the film stuck by its message that war is cruel and unforgiving, but “The Water Diviner” ends on such an uplifting note that it cuts right through that grim realism in favor of hokey Hollywood optimism. (Note: This title will be released next Tuesday, July 28th.)

EXTRAS: There’s a making-of featurette and a retrospective on the Battle of Gallipoli.

FINAL VERDICT: RENT

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