It’s time to prepare for your guys holiday

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And so begins another in a long line of men’s holidays. Prepare yourself for Sambuca at midday, suggestive inflatables in swimming pools and more leering at bikini-clad women than you’d find in a theatrical re-release of “Porky’s.”

Because what’s the point of a lads holiday if you don’t have enough fun to last for the rest of the year? Five days in Magaluf or Majorca, or wherever you’ve decided to book a flight, should be about unbridled, good old fashioned carnage!

Whether you fancy a thousand shots lined up on a bar, or a quiet day lounging by a pool, we’ve thought up a few perfect tips for your big trip with the guys. So, in association with meet and greet parking at Stansted, take a look and get ready to shout PARTY one more time!

Switch off your phones

There’s nothing worse than having a few too many drinks, pulling out your phone to call a loved one, then waking up the next morning with 40 missed calls from your mum. Why phone your mum at three in the morning? Only the fuzzy Corona and Tequila-fueled part of your brain will ever know.

During a holiday with copious amounts of booze, steer clear of your mobile phone. You’ll end up with sky-high bills and maybe even a few angry phone calls when you return from your holiday.

Avoid the tattoo parlor

Plenty of us have tattoos we regret, but the ones you’ll hate the most involve a Thai tattoo parlor, too much Disaronno and your mate asking, “Are you sure you want a python on your left butt cheek?”

Tattoos should be thought through, and your girlfriend won’t appreciate that you got her name printed on your stomach.

Don’t get done in the sun

Make like the Stone Roses and wear a bucket hat when you’re chilling in the sun, along with copious amounts of suntan lotion. It might seem like boring advice, but many a lad has suffered sunstroke after not bothering to ready themselves for those tropical rays.

Get to know your crew

If you’re off on a stag do, chances are you won’t know everyone there. Your mates will have invited mates, and those mates will have brought a few other mates. Essentially, it’s a mate-chain that’ll be filled with inevitable weak links. But instead of getting annoyed at these Lousy Lads, make an effort to befriend them. They might not turn out to be as awful as their first impressions suggest.