Quick hits of the 2011 Academy Awards

It’s late, and I didn’t win the pool in our annual Oscar party (this year’s winner: Kristin Dreyer Kramer of Nights and Weekends), so I’m understandably sore, and perhaps a bit drunk. Kidding about that last part (a better word would be tipsy), but yes, I am sore that I voted against my heart in every category and proved to be wrong on most of them. There will be a full recap tomorrow, but here are the big takeaways from the evening’s events.

There is nothing that Anne Hathaway can’t do

She can act, she can sing, she can do more accents than Meryl Streep, and she’s fucking gorgeous. We knew all of this already, of course, but seeing her do the Bahston accent in the opening sequence to the Oscars, plus seeing her pretend to be Russian and Texan in “Valentine’s Day” (to be honest, I can’t remember if she did a Russian voice; I tried to forget that movie as quickly as I could), proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is the official girl of our dreams.

You can’t shake Aaron Sorkin off with ‘wrap it up’ music

Dude just kept talking a good 45 seconds to a minute after the strings kicked in. Better yet, he didn’t even acknowledge them. Why dignify it? Awesome.

Maybe everything is better with Auto Tune

That musical sequence was the best joke of the evening, by a country mile. And in case any of you were wondering where they got the idea…

Melissa Leo is the Guns ‘n Roses of actresses

I was rooting for her to win – I guess my belief that she was an underdog was just that – but I have to say that I was hoping that she would give a better acceptance speech than that. She looked like a wide-eyed teenager. I bet Anna Paquin gave a more composed acceptance speech than that.

Funniest one-liner while watching the show

Jason Zingale, upon seeing Oprah Winfrey: “You get an Oscar, and you get an Oscar! And you get an Oscar!” We were laughing so hard that we didn’t have the heart to tell him that Oprah could have him killed for saying that.

If you play in a dead pool, you should probably have Kirk Douglas on your 2011 list

I don’t endorse dead pools, because that’s just a ghoulish thing to do, but damn, man, Kirk is in a bad way. Just sayin’.

More commentary tomorrow, but until then, let us just say: what the hell was up with Cate Blanchett’s dress? Did she lose a bet?

  

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