666 Park Avenue (Sun., 10–11PM): At the ominous address of 666 Park Avenue, anything you desire can be yours. Everyone has needs, desires and ambition. For the residents of The Drake, these will all be met, courtesy of the building’s mysterious owner, Gavin Doran (Terry O’Quinn). But every Faustian contract comes with a price. When Jane Van Veen (Rachael Taylor) and Henry Martin (Dave Annable), an idealistic young couple from the Midwest, are offered the opportunity to manage the historic building, they not only fall prey to the machinations of Doran and his mysterious wife, Olivia (Vanessa Williams), but unwittingly begin to experience the shadowy, supernatural forces within the building that imprison and endanger the lives of the residents inside. Sexy, seductive and inviting, The Drake maintains a dark hold over all of its residents, tempting them through their ambitions and desires, in this chilling new drama that’s home to an epic struggle of good versus evil.

The Neighbors (Wed., 9:30–10 PM): How well do you know your neighbors? Meet the Weavers, Debbie (Jami Gertz) and Marty (Lenny Venito). Marty, in hopes of providing a better life for his wife and three kids, recently bought a home in Hidden Hills, a gated New Jersey townhome community with its own golf course. Hidden Hills is so exclusive that a house hasn’t come on the market in 10 years. But one finally did and the Weavers got it! It’s clear from day one that the residents of Hidden Hills are a little different.

For starters, their new neighbors all have pro-athlete names like Reggie Jackson (Tim Jo), Jackie Joyner-Kersee (Toks Olagundoye), Dick Butkis (Ian Patrick) and Larry Bird (Simon Templeman). Over dinner, Marty and his family discover that their neighbors receive nourishment through their eyes by reading books, rather than eating. The Weavers soon learn that the entire community is comprised of aliens from Zabvron, where the men bear children and everyone cries green goo from their ears.

The Zabvronians have been stationed on Earth for the past 10 years, disguised as humans, awaiting instructions from home, and the Weavers are the first humans they’ve had the opportunity to know. As it turns out, the pressures of marriage and parenthood are not exclusive to planet Earth. Two worlds will collide with hilarious consequences as everyone discovers they can “totally relate” and learn a lot from each other.

Nashville (Wed., 10–11 PM): Chart-topping Rayna James (Connie Britton) is a country legend who’s had a career any singer would envy, though lately her popularity is starting to wane. Fans still line up to get her autograph, but she’s not packing the arenas like she used to. Rayna’s record label thinks a concert tour, opening for up-and-comer Juliette Barnes (Hayden Panettiere), the young and sexy future of country music, is just what Rayna needs. But scheming Juliette can’t wait to steal Rayna’s spotlight. Sharing a stage with that disrespectful, untalented, little vixen is the last thing Rayna wants to do, which sets up a power struggle for popularity. Could the undiscovered songwriting talent of Scarlett O’Connor (Clare Bowen) be the key to helping Rayna resurrect her career? Complicating matters, Rayna’s wealthy but estranged father, Lamar Hampton (Powers Boothe), is a powerful force in business, Tennessee politics, and the lives of his two grown daughters. His drive for power results in a scheme to back Rayna’s handsome husband, Teddy, in a run for Mayor of Nashville, against Rayna’s wishes.

Last Resort (Thu., 8–9 PM): 500 feet beneath the ocean’s surface, the U.S. ballistic missile submarine Colorado receive their orders. Over a radio channel, designed only to be used if their homeland has been wiped out, they’re told to fire nuclear weapons at Pakistan. Captain Marcus Chaplin (Andre Braugher) demands confirmation of the orders only to be unceremoniously relieved of duty by the White House. XO Sam Kendal (Scott Speedman) finds himself suddenly in charge of the submarine and facing the same difficult decision. When he also refuses to fire without confirmation of the orders, the Colorado is targeted, fired upon, and hit. The submarine and its crew find themselves crippled on the ocean floor, declared rogue enemies of their own country. Now, with nowhere left to turn, Chaplin and Kendal take the sub on the run and bring the men and women of the Colorado to an exotic island. Here they will find refuge, romance and a chance at a new life, even as they try to clear their names and get home.

Malibu Country (Fri., 8:30–9 PM): When Reba Gallagher (Reba) discovers that her husband, Bobby, (Jeffrey Nordling) a country music legend, has a cheatin’ heart, her world is turned upside down. Reba dreamt of becoming a country star herself, but put her career on hold to raise a family. Now she’s questioning all of that, big-time. With the ink on her divorce barely dry, Reba packs up her sharp-tongued mother, Lillie May (Lily Tomlin), her two kids and the U-Haul and heads for sunny California to begin a new chapter. Leaving Nashville in the rear view, they start over at their Malibu residence — the last remaining asset they have. Reba gets to know her new open and loving neighbor Kim (Sara Rue) and her son, Sage, but also discovers that relocation to Southern California is going to be quite an adjustment for a traditional southern belle: the West Coast seems like the polar opposite of Music City, and Reba feels like an outsider. Still, with the support of her family she sets about finding her voice, jump-starting her music career with the help of her new music agent, Geoffrey (Jai Rodriguez), and embracing this chance to begin again.

Partners (Mon., 8:30–9 PM): a comedy based on the lives of creators David Kohan and Max Mutchnick, about two life-long best friends and business partners whose “bromance” is tested when one of them is engaged to be married. Joe (David Krumholtz) is an accomplished architect who leads with his head and not his heart, especially in his love life. That’s in stark contrast to his gay co-worker, Louis (Michael Urie), who is spontaneous, emotional and prone to exaggeration. Both have found joy in their love lives: Joe is newly engaged to Ali (Sophia Bush), a beautiful and sophisticated jewelry designer, while Louis is dating Wyatt (Brandon Routh), a vegan nurse who Louis insists is just a promotion away from becoming a doctor. As news of Joe’s engagement settles, time will tell if their business and personal bond can adapt to the addition of two other important relationships.

Vegas (Tue., 10–11 PM): Dennis Quaid and Michael Chiklis star in VEGAS, a drama inspired by the true story of former Las Vegas Sheriff Ralph Lamb, a fourth-generation rancher tasked with bringing order to Las Vegas in the 1960s, a gambling and entertainment mecca emerging from the tumbleweeds. Ralph Lamb (Quaid) wants to be left in peace to run his ranch, but Las Vegas is now swelling with outsiders and corruption which are intruding on his simple life. Recalling Lamb’s command as a military police officer during World War II, the Mayor appeals to his sense of duty to look into a murder of a casino worker – and so begins Lamb’s clash with Vincent Savino (Chiklis), a ruthless Chicago gangster who plans to make Vegas his own. Assisting Lamb in keeping law and order are his two deputies: his diplomatic, even-keeled brother Jack (Jason O’Mara) and his charming but impulsive son, Dixon (Taylor Handley). Ambitious Assistant District Attorney Katherine O’Connell (Carrie-Anne Moss), who grew up on the ranch next to the Lambs, also lends a hand in preserving justice. In Vegas, two powerful men – Lamb and Savino – are engaged in a fierce battle for control of the budding oasis, and for both of them, folding is not an option.

Elementary (Thu., 10–11 PM): stars Jonny Lee Miller as detective Sherlock Holmes and Lucy Liu as Dr. Joan Watson in a modern-day drama about a crime-solving duo that cracks the NYPD’s most impossible cases. Following his fall from grace in London and a stint in rehab, eccentric Sherlock escapes to Manhattan where his wealthy father forces him to live with his worst nightmare – a sober companion, Dr. Watson. A successful surgeon until she lost a patient and her license three years ago, Watson views her current job as another opportunity to help people, as well as paying a penance. However, the restless Sherlock is nothing like her previous clients. He informs her that none of her expertise as an addiction specialist applies to him and he’s devised his own post-rehab regimen – resuming his work as a police consultant in New York City. Watson has no choice but to accompany her irascible new charge on his jobs. But Sherlock finds her medical background helpful, and Watson realizes she has a knack for playing investigator. Sherlock’s police contact, Capt. Tobias “Toby” Gregson (Aidan Quinn), knows from previous experience working with Scotland Yard that Sherlock is brilliant at closing cases, and welcomes him as part of the team. With the mischievous Sherlock Holmes now running free in New York solving crimes, it’s simple deduction that he’s going to need someone to keep him grounded, and it’s elementary that it’s a job for Watson.

Made in Jersey (Fri., 9–10 PM): a drama about a young working-class woman who uses her street smarts to compete among her pedigreed Manhattan colleagues at a prestigious New York law firm. Martina Garretti (Janet Montgomery) finds her firm’s cutthroat landscape challenging, but what she lacks in an Ivy League education she more than makes up for with tenacity and blue-collar insight. After just a few weeks, firm founder Donovan Stark (Kyle MacLachlan), takes note of Martina’s ingenuity and resourcefulness, as does her sassy secretary Cyndi Vega (Toni Trucks). With the support of her big Italian family, including her sexy older sister Bonnie (Erin Cummings), Martina is able to stay true to her roots as a bold, passionate lawyer on the rise in a new intimidating environment.

Revolution (Mon., 10–11 PM): Our entire way of life depends on electricity. So what would happen if it just stopped working? Well, one day, like a switch turned off, the world is suddenly thrust back into the dark ages. Planes fall from the sky, hospitals shut down, and communication is impossible. And without any modern technology, who can tell us why? Now, 15 years later, life is back to what it once was long before the industrial revolution: families living in quiet cul-de-sacs, and when the sun goes down lanterns and candles are lit. Life is slower and sweeter. Or is it? On the fringes of small farming communities, danger lurks. And a young woman’s life is dramatically changed when a local militia arrives and kills her father, who mysteriously – and unbeknownst to her – had something to do with the blackout. This brutal encounter sets her and two unlikely companions off on a daring coming-of-age journey to find answers about the past in the hopes of reclaiming the future.

From director Jon Favreau (“Iron Man,” “Iron Man 2″) and the fertile imaginations of J.J. Abrams (“Lost,” “Person of Interest”) and Eric Kripke (“Supernatural”), comes a surprising “what if” action-adventure series, where an unlikely hero will lead the world out of the dark. Literally. The series stars Billy Burke (“The Twilight Saga”), Tracy Spiridakos (“Being Human”), Anna Lise Phillips (“Terra Nova”), Zak Orth (“Romeo + Juliet”), Graham Rogers (“Memphis Beat”), J.D. Pardo (“A Cinderella Story”), Giancarlo Esposito (“Breaking Bad”), David Lyons (“The Cape”), Maria Howell (“The Blind Side”), Tim Guinee (“Iron Man”) and Andrea Roth (“Rescue Me”).

Go On (Tue., 9–9:30 PM): Misery loves company. Unless you’re sportscaster Ryan King (Matthew Perry, “Friends,” “Mr. Sunshine”) who thinks misery should just be left alone. After taking some time off, Ryan – who recently lost his wife in a car accident – is now ready to get back to work. And while he seems like his same old charming, cocky self, his boss won’t set him back on the air until he seeks counseling. So, Ryan reluctantly joins a support group with one goal in mind: get in, get out and get back on the radio as quickly as possible. Played by the fast-talking, sarcastic, and charismatic Perry, Ryan gives grief a real run for its money. Within one day of group therapy, he hijacks the meeting and suddenly the downtrodden are cajoled into playing a game of “who’s got the best sob story?” And in no time all of them are battling it out, trying to one-up each other’s despair. Now, this is fun! Ryan’s total lack of interest in healing might be just what this group needs – and maybe, exactly what he needs to move on with his life. Also starring are Tony winner Laura Benanti (“The Playboy Club”), Julie White (“Transformers”), Suzy Nakamura (“Dodgeball”), Khary Payton (“General Hospital”) and Allison Miller (“Terra Nova”).

The New Normal (Tue., 9:30–10 PM): These days, families come in all forms – single dads, double moms, sperm donors, egg donors, one-night-stand donors… It’s 2012 and anything goes. Bryan (Andrew Rannells, “Girls,” “The Book of Mormon”) and David (Justin Bartha, “The Hangover”) are a Beverly Hills couple and they have it all. Well, almost. With successful careers and a committed and loving partnership, the one thing missing is a baby. And just when they think the stars will never align, enter Goldie (Georgia King, “One Day”), an extraordinary young woman with a checkered past. A Midwestern waitress and single mother looking to escape her dead-end life and small-minded grandmother (Ellen Barkin, “Ocean’s Thirteen”), Goldie decides to change everything and move to L.A. with her precocious 8-year-old daughter. Desperate and broke – but also fertile – Goldie quickly becomes the guys’ surrogate and quite possibly the girl of their dreams. Surrogate mother, surrogate family.

Animal Practice (Wed., 8–8:30 PM): Meet Dr. George Coleman (Justin Kirk, “Weeds”), a top-dog New York veterinarian. With an unorthodox style of operating, George’s success comes from his undeniable gift with animals of all kinds. That is, all but the human kind. Dorothy Crane once held the key to George’s heart, but today she also holds the key to the family business as she takes over Crane Animal Hospital. Not only is she George’s new boss, but her romantic history with him and her lack of experience with animals is seriously cramping his style. Dorothy is whip-smart and ambitious, and she’s going to make George pay for the past. Needless to say, he’s determined not to make any changes in his (animal) kingdom — which includes poker games with a resident capuchin monkey. Also starring are Tyler Labine (“Reaper,” “Sons of Tucson”) as Dr. Doug Jackson, a vet who’s great with animals but hapless in matters of the heart, Bobby Lee (“Harold & Kumar”) as Dr. Yamamoto, and newcomer Betsy Sodaro as Angela.

Guys with Kids (Wed., 8:30–9 PM): From Emmy winner and executive producer Jimmy Fallon comes a new comedy about three thirty-something dads trying to hold on to their youth, while holding onto their new babies’ hands. Easy, right? Thankfully, Chris (Jesse Bradford, “The West Wing”), Nick (Zach Cregger, “Friends with Benefits”) and Gary (Anthony Anderson, “Law & Order”) have each other to help navigate their survival as new dads, while still trying desperately to remain dudes. Balancing work or staying at home, painfully married or happily divorced, they know that taking care of the little ones while maintaining a social life is a daily challenge. Whether it’s hosing the little squirt down in the kitchen sink or hitting the bar strapped with a baby björn, these guys are on a roller-coaster adventure – parenting like you (and they) have never seen before. Also starring are Jamie Lynn Sigler (“The Sopranos”) and Tempestt Bledsoe (“The Cosby Show”). Someone once said it is much easier to become a father than to be one. These three guys are about to find out just how true that is.

Chicago Fire (Wed., 10–11 PM): No job is more stressful, dangerous or exhilarating than those of the Firefighters, Rescue Squad and Paramedics of Chicago Firehouse 51. These are America’s everyday heroes — the courageous men and women who forge headfirst into danger when everyone else is running the other way. But the enormous responsibilities of the job also take a personal toll. Big reputations and hefty egos, coupled with the pressure to perform and make split-second decisions, are bound to put squad members at odds. When a tragedy claims one of their own, there’s plenty of guilt and blame to go around. In the middle of a divorce, Lt. Matthew Casey (Jesse Spencer, “House M.D.”) tries to go about business as usual but can’t help butting heads with the brash Lt. Kelly Severide (Taylor Kinney, “The Vampire Diaries”) of the Rescue Squad – and each blames the other for their fallen team member. When it’s “go-time” though, they put aside their differences and put everything on the line for each other.

Do No Harm (Sun., 10–11 PM): Dr. Jason Cole (Steven Pasquale, “Rescue Me”) is a highly respected neurosurgeon who has it all – a lucrative career, confident charm, the gift of compassion. But he also has a deep, dark secret. One morning when he wakes up disoriented in a wrecked hotel room amidst several near-naked women he’s never seen before, he knows one thing: it’s happening again. Every night at the same hour, something inside Jason changes, leaving him almost unrecognizable – seductive, devious, borderline sociopathic. This new man is his dangerous alternate personality who goes by the name of ‘Ian Price.’ For years he’s battled Ian, keeping him in check with a powerful experimental sedative. But now his – their – body has developed a resistance to the serum, setting Ian free once again. And to make matters worse, after being suppressed for so long, Ian’s hell-bent on taking revenge on his oppressor. With everyone Jason cares about at risk – patients, friends, coworkers and even the woman he loves – he’s got to stop Ian once and for all. Will they find some common ground, or will they bring each other down? Hell hath no fury like an alter ego scorned. Also starring are Alana De La Garza (“Law & Order”), Mousa Kraish (“Superbad”), Michael Esper (“A Beautiful Mind”), Ruta Gedmintas (“The Borgias”) and Phylicia Rashad (“The Cosby Show”).

The Mob Doctor (Mon., 9–10 PM): For most physicians, the Hippocratic oath is sacred. But for one Chicago doctor, who is indebted to the mafia, saving lives isn’t her only concern. THE MOB DOCTOR is a fast-paced medical drama featuring a brilliant young female cardiothoracic surgeon who is split between two distinct worlds as she juggles her promising medical career with her lifelong debt as a doctor to Chicago’s Southside mob. DR. GRACE DEVLIN (Jordana Spiro, “My Boys”) is a top resident at Chicago’s Roosevelt Medical Center. Smart and self-assured, she’s heralded as one of the country’s most promising young surgeons. But family ties keep her glued to her Southside roots. To pay off her brother’s life-threatening gambling debt, she makes a deal with the devil and agrees to work “off book” for the mafia men she once despised.

During the day, Grace must deal with the emotionally compelling cases at Roosevelt Medical – a toddler in need of a heart transplant, an elderly man desperate to donate a lung to his sick wife, the mass chaos in the wake of a two-train collision on the ‘L.’ But in her other vastly different world, she must juggle an onslaught of mob-related demands, including operating in mob-sanctioned locations, removing bullets from dead bodies to hide incriminating evidence, saving a juiced-up race horse and covertly helping an aging mobster with his erectile dysfunction. All the while, Grace must keep her dual life a secret from everyone: her protective best friend, NURSE ROBERTA “RO” ANGELI (Floriana Lima, “Glory Daze”); her handsome, blue-blooded boyfriend, DR. BRETT ROBINSON (Zach Gilford, “Off The Map,” “Friday Night Lights”); her boss at Roosevelt Medical and Chief of Surgery, DR. STAFFORD WHITE (Zeljko Ivanek, “The Event,” “Damages”); her rival, DR. OLIVIA WATSON (Jaime Lee Kirchner, “Necessary Roughness,” “Mercy”); even her well-meaning screw-up brother, NATE (Jesse Lee Soffer, “As the World Turns”), and her overly dramatic mother, DANIELLA (Wendy Makkena, “NCIS”).

The only one who knows the true scope of Grace’s activities is the man to whom Grace owes her debt: the charming and diabolical Southside mob boss CONSTANTINE ALEXANDER (William Forsythe, “Boardwalk Empire”), an oddly compassionate killer whose relationship with Grace is more than it seems. Recently released from prison, the former head of the Chicago mob looks to reclaim his place in the organization, with the help of his right-hand associate – and Grace’s ex-boyfriend – FRANCO (James Carpinello, “The Good Wife”). As Grace tries to heed the demands of these two conflicting worlds – not to mention the needs of her own slightly dysfunctional family – her moral center comes into direct conflict with the very immoral things she’s asked to do. But with nerves of steel and a tough-as-nails exterior, she somehow manages to make it all work – at least for now.

Ben and Kate (Tue., 8:30–9 PM): What happens when an exuberant, irresponsible dreamer who always says “yes” moves in with his overly responsible little sister to help raise her five-year-old daughter? BEN AND KATE, a new single-camera young ensemble comedy, follows these odd-couple siblings as they push each other out of their comfort zones and into real life. KATE FOX (Dakota Johnson, “The Social Network”) followed the rules all her life…until she got pregnant in college and dropped out just shy of graduation. After the birth of her daughter, MADDIE (Maggie Jones, “We Bought a Zoo,” “Footloose”), Kate put her twenties on hold. Now working as a bar manager to make ends meet and maximize her time with five-year-old Maddie, she’s uber-prepared for every possible catastrophe – except for the arrival of her older brother, BEN FOX (Nat Faxon, “Bad Teacher”).

Ben likes trouble a lot more than his sister does. His infectious energy makes you want to follow him into any number of bad ideas. He’ll totally screw up your life, but somehow, you’ll feel good about it. Where Kate is all about planning and preparing, Ben is big on spontaneity and out-of-the-box ideas. But don’t let the Velcro wallet fool you – he’ll probably be a millionaire someday. When Ben comes to crash on Kate’s couch for a few days, he finds a sad state of affairs. Kate’s surviving, but not living. Ben realizes that for the first time in their lives, Kate needs his help and he’s determined to bring some much-needed chaos into her overly stable world. He starts by offering to help look after Maddie so Kate can get back to experiencing her mid-twenties and making mistakes, since the one real “mistake” she’s made turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to her.

Always there to help with Ben’s crazy schemes is his partner-in-crime, TOMMY (newcomer Echo Kellum), who worships Ben like a hero and nurses a serious crush on Kate. Kate’s British best friend, BJ (Lucy Punch, “Bad Teacher”), is a cocktail waitress at the bar that Kate manages and an all-around hot mess who would do anything for Kate, even if her advice is often questionable and occasionally illegal.

The Mindy Project (Tue., 9:30–10 PM): a new single-camera comedy from Emmy Award-nominated writer/producer and New York Times best-selling author Mindy Kaling (“The Office”) that follows a woman who, despite having a successful career, desperately needs to break bad habits in her personal life. After all, how many doctors make inappropriate toasts at their ex-boyfriend’s wedding, nearly drown at the bottom of a stranger’s pool and get arrested for disorderly conduct just moments before having to deliver a baby?

Funny, impatient and politically incorrect, MINDY LAHIRI (Kaling) can quote every romantic comedy starring Meg Ryan that exists. She loves the good ones and the bad ones, because the girl always gets the guy. Mindy is determined to be more punctual, spend less money, lose weight and read more books – all in pursuit of becoming a well-rounded perfect woman…who can meet and date the perfect guy. Mindy is a skilled OB/GYN and shares a practice with a few other doctors, none of whom make life any easier for her. JEREMY REED (British writer/comedian Ed Weeks) is the walking definition of total bad news. He not only shares a practice with Mindy, but sometimes her bed as well – despite her best efforts to resist. He is funny, self-absorbed and super sexy.

In contrast, DANNY CASTELLANO (Chris Messina, “Damages”) is a hothead and guys’ guy who has a habit of stealing Mindy’s patients. Danny criticizes her for everything, including her struggling love life and her lack of professionalism – even though it’s obvious to everyone except Mindy that he secretly admires her work. His blue-collar childhood gives him a big chip on his shoulder, but he is a dedicated physician, which Mindy can’t stand to admit because he’s always getting on her case. Rounding out the office staff are the receptionists – BETSY PUTCH (Zoe Jarman, “Huge”), young, earnest and easily excitable, who thinks the world of Mindy and is always trying to impress her; and SHAUNA DICANIO (newcomer Dana DeLorenzo), a self-assured Jersey Girl who is indifferent to Mindy, always knows where the cool party is and carries a poorly concealed torch for Danny.

Mindy is in constant communication with her beloved best friend from college, GWEN GRANDY (Anna Camp, “The Good Wife”), who also happens to be the governor’s daughter. Gwen is a hilarious, sometimes too-blunt friend, and secretly a former carefree party girl (which only Mindy seems to remember). Although Gwen is now happily married to a financial analyst, with a six-year-old daughter, this lawyer-turned-Pilates mom remains squarely in Mindy’s corner. As Mindy attempts to get her career off the ground and meet a guy who passes her red flag test (no drug habits, no skinny jeans and no secret families, among others), only time will tell if she gets her romantic comedy ending.

Emily Owens, M.D. (Tue., 9–10 PM): At long last, Emily Owens feels like she is an actual grown-up. She can finally put her high school days as the geeky-girl-with-flop-sweats behind her; she’s graduated from medical school and is now a first-year intern at Denver Memorial Hospital, where she’ll have the chance to work with world-famous cardiologist Dr. Gina Beckett – and where, not-so-coincidentally, her med-school crush Will Rider is also an intern. So why does everyone keep warning her that the hospital is just like high school?

Emily soon finds out the hard way – her high school nemesis, the gorgeous, popular Cassandra Kopelson, is also just starting out at Denver Memorial, and it seems like they’re rivals all over again – not only as surgical interns, but for Will’s attention. Fellow intern Tyra Granger warns Emily that the cliques at Denver Memorial are all too familiar: the jocks have become orthopedic surgeons; the mean girls are in plastics; the rebels are in the ER, and Tyra has her own awkward place as the principal’s kid – her father is the chief resident.

Emily’s the new kid all over again, and it’s just as awkward as high school. Only this time around, Emily will have to balance the personal and emotional turmoil of social politics with the high-stakes world of life-and-death medical decisions. At least she has fellow intern Tyra and nerdy-but-cute resident Micah, to count on as friends. Emily is growing to realize that although she may be a geek, she may also grow to be a great doctor, flop sweats and all. The series stars Mamie Gummer as Emily, Justin Hartley as Will, Michael Rady as Micah, Aja Naomi King as Cassandra, Kelly McCreary as Tyra and Necar Zadegan as Gina.

Arrow (Wed., 8–9 PM): After a violent shipwreck, billionaire playboy Oliver Queen was missing and presumed dead for five years before being discovered alive on a remote island in the Pacific. When he returns home to Starling City, his devoted mother Moira, much-beloved sister Thea, and best friend Tommy welcome him home, but they sense Oliver has been changed by his ordeal on the island. While Oliver hides the truth about the man he’s become, he desperately wants to make amends for the actions he took as the boy he was. Most particularly, he seeks reconciliation with his former girlfriend, Laurel Lance.

As Oliver reconnects with those closest to him, he secretly creates the persona of Arrow – a vigilante – to right the wrongs of his family, fight the ills of society, and restore Starling City to its former glory. By day, Oliver plays the role of a wealthy, carefree and careless philanderer he used to be – flanked by his devoted chauffeur/bodyguard, John Diggle – while carefully concealing the secret identity he turns to under cover of darkness. However, Laurel’s father, Detective Quentin Lance, is determined to arrest the vigilante operating in his city. Meanwhile, Oliver’s own mother, Moira, knows much more about the deadly shipwreck than she has let on – and is more ruthless than he could ever imagine. The series stars Stephen Amell as Oliver Queen, Colin Donnell as Tommy, Katie Cassidy as Laurel Lance, David Ramsey as John Diggle, Willa Holland as Thea Queen, with Susanna Thompson as Moira Queen and Paul Blackthorne as Detective Quentin Lance.

Beauty and the Beast (Tue., 9–10 PM): Detective Catherine Chandler is a smart, no-nonsense homicide detective. Several years earlier, Catherine witnessed the murder of her mother at the hands of two gunmen. Catherine would have been killed too, but someone – or something – saved her. No one has ever believed her, but she knows it wasn’t an animal that attacked the assassins…it was human. Years have passed, and Catherine is a strong, confident, capable police officer, working alongside her equally talented partner, Tess. While investigating a murder, Catherine discovers a clue that leads her to a handsome doctor named Vincent Keller, who was reportedly killed by enemy fire while serving in Afghanistan in 2002.

Catherine learns that Vincent is actually still alive and that it was he who saved her many years before. For mysterious reasons that have forced him to live outside of traditional society, Vincent has been in hiding for the past 10 years to guard his secret – when he is enraged, he becomes a terrifying beast, unable to control his super-strength and heightened senses. Catherine agrees to protect his identity in return for any insight he may have into her mother’s murder.

Thus begins a complex relationship between Catherine and Vincent, who are powerfully drawn to each other yet understand that their connection is extremely dangerous for both of them. The series stars Kristin Kreuk (“Smallville,” “Chuck”) as Catherine, Jay Ryan (“Terra Nova”) as Vincent, Max Brown (“The Tudors,” “MI-5″) as Evan, Nina Lisandrello (“Nurse Jackie”) as Tess, Nicole Gale Anderson (“Make It or Break It”) as Heather, Austin Basis (“Life Unexpected”) as J.T., and Brian White (“The Shield,” “The Cabin in the Woods”) as Joe.

1. Gilded Lilys (ABC)

It’s been quite awhile since a broadcast network has managed to sell viewers on a period piece set prior to the 20th century, so the fact that ABC is even considering this series, which takes place in 1895 and revolves around the first luxury hotel in New York, is proof of how much pull executive producer Shonda Rhimes has with the American Broadcasting Company. In truth, the big selling point for me is John Barrowman. This doesn’t exactly bode well for another season of “Torchwood,” but the dude deserves a big U.S. break. You never know: this could be it.

2. Untitled Louis C.K. / Spike Feresten Comedy (CBS)

Go on, admit it: you were sold the moment you saw the name “Louis C.K.,” weren’t you? And Spike Feresten isn’t bad, either. Seeing these two guys attached to this project is the only reason why it stands out, since the only real description available is that it’s an an ensemble comedy about a bunch of twentysomethings trying to make their dreams come true despite today’s crappy financial climate. But, damn, after two seasons of “Louie,” the idea of Louis C.K. putting his spin on anything makes it something that’ll surely be worth seeing. With that said, however, I hope Dan Byrd ends up not being available to do the show, as that will mean that “Cougar Town” has been renewed.

3. Animal Kingdom (NBC)

Two words: Tyler Labine. I mean, come on, America, what more does this loveable teddy bear of a comedy actor have to do to get a show to stay on the air for more than a season or two? NBC is, if memory serves, the last of the broadcast networks that has yet to cancel a series out from under Mr. Labine – “Invasion” was on ABC, “Reaper” was on The CW, “Sons of Tucson” was on Fox, and “Mad Love” was on CBS – and, frankly, this could be his last stop before the autograph-show circuit. Doesn’t Tyler Labine deserve a better fate than that? You’re damned right he does.

4. Untitled Kevin Williamson serial killer drama (Fox)

The man behind “The Vampire Diaries” brings Kevin Bacon to the small screen to play Ryan Hardy, a former FBI agent on the hunt for serial killer Joe Carroll (James Purefoy), who’s busy building himself a whole cult full of serial killers. If that isn’t enough to sell you, the cast also features Natalie Zea (“Justified”).

5. Joey Dakota (The CW)

Okay, I don’t know what to make of this show, which is apparently an American adaptation of an Israeli series called “Danny Hollywood,” but they had me at the phrase “romantic time-travel musical,” and they kept me when they revealed that it was about a documentary filmmaker who somehow time-travels to the ’90s, falls in love with the rock star she’s been making a film about, and, upon being thrust back to the present, struggles to find a way to get back to the past and save the rock star’s life. The only person I know in the cast is Amber Stevens (“Greek”), but it’s produced by Mark Harmon, whose nephews have more than a bit of passing familiarity with the ’90s rock scene. (They’re Gunnar and Matthew Nelson, you know). Also, the pilot is directed by Allan Arkush, who always managed to make “Heroes” look good no matter how crappy the material may have been.

6. Elementary (CBS)

I’m the first to admit that the world desperately does not need another incarnation of Sherlock Holmes, especially given that we’ve already got a movie franchise and a perfectly good British TV series inspired by the Holmes mythos. But what can I say? Jonny Lee Miller and Lucy Liu as Holmes and Watson is just ridiculous enough for me to watch to tune in. Not necessarily because I think it’ll be any good, you understand, but the curiosity factor alone is off the charts. Plus, Aidan Quinn is in it, and he usually does good work.

7. Untitled Roland Emmerich Drama (ABC)

Anything with Roland Emmerich’s name on it has got my attention immediately, particularly when it involves a grad student being selected to fight the forces of evil. But knowing that Martin Landau and Linus Roache are in the mix…? Sold. And then some.

8. American Judy (ABC)

Judy Greer isn’t quite the female equivalent of Tyler Labine (although she certainly didn’t help her cause any by co-starring with him on “Mad Love”), but suffice it to say that she’s at least as deserving of a successful series. This one might have a terrible title, but it co-stars the always funny Ken Marino, along with Mimi Kennedy and the ever-hot Elaine Hendrix. With that talent, does it even matter what it’s about? Well, just in case it does, Greer plays a city girl who gets married, moves to the suburbs with her new husband (who’s the sheriff), and learns to deal with her stepkids, mother-in-law, and her husband’s ex-wife.

9. Untitled Ralph Lamb (CBS)

Another period piece, but this one only steps back to the 1960s. Based on the true story of Ralph Lamb, a former rodeo cowboy who became the sheriff of Las Vegas, it comes courtesy of Nicholas Pileggi (“Goodfellas,” “Casino”), and the cast features Dennis Quaid, Michael Chiklis, and Carrie-Anne Moss. I hope to hell it’s good, because if it isn’t, that’s a lot of talent gone to waste.

10. Downwardly Mobile (NBC)

Unless it turns out to be really, really, really unfunny, I cannot conceive of a way that NBC won’t pick up a sitcom that reunites Roseanne Barr and John Goodman, especially when Roseanne is playing the owner of a mobile home park.

11. Like Father (Fox)

I’ve got Bill Lawrence’s back on just about anything that comes down the pike with his name on it, and that includes “Like Father,” which stars Colin Ferguson and is inspired by the relationship between Lawrence and his own father. Here’s hoping he’s buried in work and has to deal with this show being picked up and “Cougar Town” getting renewed. (A guy can dream, can’t he?)

12. Devious Maids (ABC)

I know better than to approach this as anything other than the eventual guilty pleasure that it will prove to be, but putting Marc Cherry (“Desperate Housewives”) at the helm of a show about four maids in Beverly Hills who work for the famous while trying to make their own dreams come true…? That just seems like a match made in heaven. Throw in Susan Lucci, and just step back and watch the fireworks.

13. Susan 313 (NBC)

It stars Sarah Silverman, features Jeff Goldblum playing her dad, and is executive produced by Ron Howard and Brian Glazer. You just know it’s going to end up being too hip for the room, but how can I not be excited about the prospect of seeing such a thing?

14. Last Resort (ABC)

Okay, this just sounds way too crazy for me to not want to see it come to fruition: per The Hollywood Reporter, the show centers on the crew of a U.S. nuclear submarine who, after ignoring an order to fire nuclear missiles, wind up being hunted and escape to a NATO outpost where they declare themselves to be the world’s smallest nuclear nation. It stars Scott Speedman and Andre Braugher and, in recurring roles, Bruce Davison and Robert Patrick. There’s no way it’ll get the green light. It just sounds way too interesting.

15. The Frontier (NBC)

Might as well bookend things with another period piece set in the 1800s, this time focusing on a group of settlers heading west, but this one particularly grabs my attention, as it comes from the mind of Shaun Cassidy, who – at least in my estimation – has yet to attach his name to any TV series that hasn’t at least proven interesting. Clancy Brown is in the cast, which is always a plus in my book, and so is Ethan Embry, who I’ve liked for as long as I can remember.

After seven seasons on the air and surviving a switch between networks (from NBC to CBS), it’s hard to say that “Medium” didn’t live a good, long life. With that said, however, the show had continued to find new ways to keep things interesting, and with the trio of DuBois daughters growing up and getting their own storylines almost as often as their mom. As such, Allison, Joe, and the gang could’ve easily kept going for another few seasons without any complaints from me.

Am I going to try to defend my enjoyment of this show? No, I am not, because there’s no point in wasting your time or mine. You may not have thought it was very funny, and if you didn’t, that would be your right. I, however, did. And I still miss it.

There’s nothing I dislike more than a series that doesn’t know when to leave good enough alone, and for my part, I don’t know why they felt the need to change the formula and kick Skeet Ulrich‘s character to the curb. Sorry, did I say “curb”? I meant “grave,” of course. Not that there’s anything wrong with giving an actor of Alfred Molina’s caliber a more substantial role, but to do so in midseason can’t have pleased the existing viewership very much. Truth be told, I’d rather they’d just kept the original “Law & Order” around, but in its absence, this was a nice substitute, and it sucks that it never had a chance to really spread its wings.

When it comes to casualties in the alien-invasion field, I can accept the cancellation of “V” a bit more than that of “The Event,” if only because it was a minor surprise that it made it to a second season in the first place. And if I’m to be honest, I’m not really surprised that NBC couldn’t be bothered to give “The Event” a shot at a sophomore year, since they probably figured it’d only let them down the way “Heroes” did. But whereas “Heroes” really dropped the ball in its second year, I felt like “The Event” had a better chance of upping the ante. Guess I’ll never know for sure.

My wife’s the one who tipped me to this show, describing it as being more than a little bit “Buffy”-inspired, and I don’t disagree with that assessment, though it’s inevitable that any ABC Family series isn’t going to be as rough and tumble as the adventures of our favorite vampire slayer. Also inevitable, unfortunately, was the fact that it only lasted a single season. Apparently, if a sci-fi series doesn’t feature a hot teenage boy as its lead (stand up, please, “Kyle X-Y”), then it doesn’t have a chance in hell at making it very long on ABC Family.

And what’s the deal with the lack of love for new cop shows? Apparently, America loves crime procedurals to the point where the thought of a little extra character development scares them away. Thankfully, “Blue Bloods” has proven to be at least somewhat of an exception to that rule, but it doesn’t come anywhere near the work that was being done on “The Chicago Code.” Hell, even “Detroit 1-8-7″ didn’t touch “The Chicago Code,” but at least filming in the Motor City gave it a slightly different look than your typical cop show…though, in fairness, having Michael Imperioli and James McDaniel in the cast would’ve made it worth watching no matter where it was set.

If the Germans can learn to love David Hasselhoff, then, dammit, why can’t we as a country see fit to embrace the brilliance that is Norm MacDonald? I don’t even like sports, and I still TiVoed the damned thing every week. America, you’re on notice. Again. (Seriously, I’m about ready to move to Canada. They like me better up there, anyway.)

Yes, I agree that “Happy Endings” has grown substantially as a series since last season, which means that, okay, fine, maybe my previous claims that it should’ve been cancelled instead of “Traffic Light” were said in haste. But I still think “Traffic Light” was a better-than-average comedy about a bunch of friends, and I thought so from the very first episode, so to watch it get even better as it went along and still get denied a second-season pick-up was downright infuriating…though not, I suspect, as infuriating as it was for Tyler Labine to see “Mad Love” lose its battle to stay on the air. The ensemble of Labine, Jason Biggs, Judy Greer, and Sarah Chalke didn’t gel quite as instantly as one might have liked, given the comedic abilities of the foursome, but, again, by the end of season, it was tooling along quite nicely. And what did we get in its place? “2 Broke Girls.” Not that I don’t love Beth Behrs’ impossibly-long legs and the way Kat Dennings always looks like she’s about to bust out of her waitress outfit, but all things being equal, I’d still trade ‘em for another session of “Mad Love.”

I’ll be the first to admit that Season 2 of “Hung” was a less than stellar showing from the series, so much so that I probably wouldn’t have picked it back up in Season 3 if I hadn’t pulled a gig blogging the show for the Onion A.V. Club. That, as it turns out, would’ve been a tremendous mistake, as just about everything that had annoyed me during the show’s second year was discarded (so long, subplots about Ray’s creepy kids!) in favor of ramping up the things that had actually worked…like, say, Lennie James, who worked his acting magic every time he turned up as Tanya’s former-pimp boyfriend. I don’t know that the show has a fanbase substantial enough for us to ever see “Hung: The Movie,” but I’d sure as hell pay to see it.

Just as I was starting to get over FX’s decision to cancel one of 2010′s best new series (“Terriers”), they decided to pull the plug on another great show. I’m sure the reason it never took off was because casual viewers couldn’t get beyond the fact that it sounded like a rehash of “Rocky Balboa,” but it was so much more than that, thanks to Holt McCallany’s performance as Patrick “Lights” Leary, the boxer who, as a result of bad investments over the years, was forced to battle back against pugilistic dementia and get into the ring again in order to support his wife and three daughters. With a supporting cast featuring Stacey Keach as Leary’s dad and an impressively threatening performance by Bill Irwin (between this and “CSI,” I just can’t look at Mr. Noodle the same way ever again), “Lights Out” deserved far better than to hit the canvas after only one season.

Dammit, dammit, dammit. Just typing the title of the show and looking at the shot of Ray Romano, Scott Bakula, and Andre Braugher is making me sad all over again. Some people couldn’t understand all the love that was lavished on the series, but those who saw a bit of themselves in these three men – and, believe me, you didn’t have to be their certain age to be struck by the familiarity – quickly found “Men” to be must-see TV. Joe, Owen and Terry weren’t just characters. They felt like real guys. You don’t get nearly enough of their like on television. I don’t blame TNT for pulling the plug if the ratings weren’t there, but I do blame audiences for not branching out and investigating series that fall slightly outside of their usual viewing patterns. Set aside the predictable once in awhile, wouldja? There’s a lot of great television out there that deserves to thrive, and all it takes is for you to give it a chance.

1. Rachel & Joey, “Friends”

Given that just about everyone has had a crush on a friend at some point in their lives, it made sense that a show called “Friends” would make use of that concept, and in addition to the long-running “will they or won’t they” of the Ross and Rachel relationship, Monica and Chandler proved to be a surprisingly effective combination as well. But Rachel and Joey…? That’s just taking things a step too far.

Actually, the two never took their relationship to the toppermost of the poppermost, if you will, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. The storyline began with Joey (Matt LeBlanc) suffering through a major crush on Rachel (Jennifer Aniston), one which she ultimately decided was worth risking their friendship to expand into something more. When they tried to get down and dirty, however, Rachel kept finding herself instinctually slapping Joey’s hands back, and Joey found that he’d lost his gift for unstrapping bras. Attempts to loosen each other up with champagne failed just as miserably, and in the end, the two decided that the problem was that they’d become better friends over the years than Monica and Chandler were when they became a couple.

Some have questioned whether the awkwardness between Aniston and LeBlanc during their romantic scenes was behind the decision to stop the Rachel / Joey relationship dead in its tracks, but let’s chalk that up to acting, as it seems far more likely that the writers just wanted to have a bit of fun with the characters. But thank God the fun ended when it did. – Will Harris

2. Ray & Jenna, “Dallas”

“Dallas” is a series overflowing with mismatched couples and people who are just altogether wrong for each other. As it’s a soap opera, that sort of stuff goes with the territory. So it of course stands to reason that the “Dallas” coupling ending up on this list is actually rather harmonious, all things considered, anyway. Farm hand and rancher Ray Krebbs (Steve Kanaly) hooking up with and marrying little miss screw loose Jenna Wade (Priscilla Presley)? Gimme a break.

Jenna had a nearly lifelong attachment to Ray’s brother, Bobby Ewing (Patrick Duffy), which mercifully crumbled – mercifully, I say, because this woman was batshit crazy. Given the sheer hell Bobby went through with her – nearly all of which Ray was witness to – it made no sense after his marriage to the rock that was Donna (Susan Howard) ended, that he would fall into the arms of this emotional basket case. Worst of all though is how the couple was eventually written off the series: They moved to Europe. Ray Krebbs leaving Texas to move to Europe is a piece of off-screen character development that has to boggle the mind of even the most forgiving “Dallas” aficionado. Ray Krebbs was Texas.

Man, I hope he at least found a flock of sheep to keep him busy on those cold European winter nights, because one thing’s for certain, that nutty woman had to have had another breakdown, probably near the border of France and Germany. – Ross Ruediger

3. Sayid & Shannon, “Lost”

For a show that prided itself on great characters and the various relationships they forged during their time on the island, “Lost” still had its share of questionable partnerships, especially of the romantic variety. But while we were never big fans of the ongoing love triangle between Jack, Kate and Sawyer, the relationship that rang the most untrue was undoubtedly Sayid and Shannon.

Though it might have made sense on paper – Shannon needed someone to fill the protector role after Boone was killed, and there wasn’t a better candidate (no pun intended) around than Sayid – the whole romance came out of left field, forcing the audience to blindly accept that they had fallen in love within a matter of days. Thankfully, it didn’t last long, as Shannon was the next major castaway to bite the dust when Ana Lucia accidentally shot her. But it wasn’t the last we saw of the couple, as they were reunited in the season finale to spend eternity together in the afterlife.

It was a revelation that threw most viewers for a loop. After all, wasn’t Sayid’s one true love supposed to be Nadia? Then why did he end up with the blonde bimbo? It certainly left a sour taste in our mouths – one that not even a cold Dharma beer could cure. – Jason Zingale

4. Niles & Daphne, “Frasier”

Don’t get us wrong. We love Niles Crane (David Hyde-Pierce). We really love Daphne Moon (Jane Leeves). We even loved it that super-effete psychiatrist Niles had an enormous case of the hots for the down-to-earth yet adorably eccentric physical therapist. As long as Daphne remained oblivious to the obvious cravings of the poorly married, sexually frustrated Niles, it was a reliable and emotionally sound source of laughs that demonstrated both Leeves and Hyde-Pierce’s remarkable comic skills. Then, Niles divorced the eternally unseen Maris and the writers decided to have Daphne finally notice Niles’ affection and, worse, return it.

Aside from losing a great running gag, the fact of the matter was that the hugely neurotic, hugely educated dweeb with his passions for opera and wine clubs had little in common with an empathetic, slightly goofy child of the English working class. It was easy to see why Niles would be attracted to Daphne, but hard to imagine why she’d feel the same way, or what they’d actually talk about or do together. Perhaps coincidentally, perhaps not, the consummation of the relationship and their eventual marriage coincided with the rapid creative degeneration of “Frasier” in its later seasons. Sometimes the worst curse can be the granting of a fondest wish. – Bob Westal

5. Conor & Cordelia, “Angel”

When you talk about “relationships from hell,” it doesn’t get that much more literal than this particular romance from the “Buffy” spin-off’s penultimate season. Viewers screamed, and not in a good way, when heroic vampire Angel’s theoretically impossible teenage human son Conor (Vincent Kartheiser) took up with 20-something demon hunter Cordelia Chase (Charisma Carpenter). Given that Cordy had been in a quasi-parental role with the barely-of-age Conor and had occasionally committed osculation with his vamp dad, the term “ick!” and references to Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn filled fan message boards. In any case, the whole thing was dreadfully out of character for the increasingly compassionate and morally astute Ms. Chase.

Since this is Joss Whedon’s Buffyverse, the real Cordy’s consciousness was supernaturally out of the loop and the whole thing turned out to be a set-up for a creepy pregnancy (more cries of “ick!”) and the birth of a terrifying goddess-gone-wrong, Jasmine (Gina Torres). Some of us dug the Jasmine plot line, but it was one awfully long walk getting there and subjected the actors to no end of fan poutrage. Vincent Kartheiser did, however, ultimately attain his karmic reward as weaselly Pete Campbell of “Mad Men,” where he regularly makes viewers go “ick!,” and like it. – BW

6. Scorpius & Sikozu, “Farscape”

Imagine George Lucas decided to give Darth Vader a girlfriend in “Return of the Jedi.” On second thought, don’t – because given Lucas’s track record of tinkering with the “Star Wars” movies, it could yet happen, and I don’t want to tempt fate. (George, if you’re reading, this is not the plot development you’re looking for.) Scorpius (Wayne Pygram) was the baddest mother-freller in the Uncharted Territories, and yet, in Season Four of “Farscape,” the writers decided he needed to be getting a little somethin’-somethin’ to soothe his twisted, black heart, and so he got a gal to get all black leather kinky with, Sikozu (Raelee Hill), who was as smokin’ hot as he was hideous and deformed.

Full disclosure: At the time, being a devotee of all things Scorpy, I actually rather liked the idea, but time has not been good Sikopius or Scokozu, or whatever you want to call their unwholesome coupling. From today’s vantage point, it’s all really very silly, and it dragged one of the coolest characters on the show down to the point where he was obsessing over fucking flowers. Luckily, when the series was resurrected in the form of the miniseries “The Peacekeeper Wars,” Sikozu betrayed Scorpius, and he kicked her to the curb, although in this fan’s humble opinion, not nearly hard enough. The poor bastard half-breed really had grown soft. – RR

7. Maddie & David, “Moonlighting”

Maddie and David’s third-season hookup usually gets the blame for “Moonlighting’s” shockingly swift decline from Top Ten series to the TV graveyard, and while that isn’t entirely fair — a bunch of other stuff probably would have killed the show anyway, from incessant repeats caused by the writers’ strike to Cybill Shepherd’s pregnancy and maternity leave — it was still a pretty terrible idea. This became clear after the strike ended and the show didn’t need to come up with excuses to keep its stars apart: Where it was once fueled by some of the sharpest banter and most palpable sexual chemistry on television, “Moonlighting” ended a hollow shell of its former self, with Shepherd and Bruce Willis clearly bored with their characters. And who could blame them? The writers did a brilliant job of investing us in David and Maddie’s relationship, and setting up the answer to the will-they-or-won’t-they question, but they never seemed to consider what came next. The answer, in this case: two seasons of taking a back seat to Herbert Viola and Agnes DiPesto. Not pretty. – Jeff Giles

8. Joel & Maggie, “Northern Exposure”

It ended on something of a low note, but of all the couples on this list, Joel Fleischman and Maggie O’Connell actually had a pretty good run, especially in the often abysmal context of love/hate TV relationships. Thanks to some terrific writers and a solid supporting cast, “Northern Exposure” spent its first five seasons teasing out the suppressed attraction simmering beneath Maggie and Joel’s enmity. But then Rob Morrow had to go and decide he didn’t want to play Fleischman anymore, bringing their long-running tug-of-war to a premature (albeit surprisingly moving) conclusion — and leaving Janine Turner with no one to throw sparks with, and leaving viewers with the agreeable-but-in-no-way-comparable Paul Provenza in his stead. By the end of Season Six, it was all over for “Northern Exposure,” a show that had been an Emmy darling only a few years before. It all felt so…unnecessary, you know? – JG

9. Troi & Worf, “Star Trek: The Next Generation”

As a rule, Klingons are not a race to be pitied, but you have to feel at least a little bit bad for poor Worf. After spending many years avoiding any sort of romantic entanglements on the U.S.S. Enterprise-D, fearing that non-humans would be too fragile, Worf (Michael Dorn) found himself developing feelings for the ship’s counselor, Deanna Troi (Marina Sirtis). Yes, we know the heart wants what the heart wants, but, really, talk about a relationship brought to you by Bad Idea Jeans. Since the very first episode of “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” it had been established that Troi and the Enterprise’s first officer, William Riker, had once been an item, and since neither character had been paired up for the long haul, it was reasonable for the fans to presume that someday, perhaps in the series finale, they’d finally get together. How cruel, then, that the writers decided to dash the fans’ hopes by creating arguably the least likely couple this side of Data and Tasha Yar.

Perhaps there was a kernel of a good idea in seeing if Deanna could tame Worf’s warrior ways, but it hardly made up for pulling the rug out from under poor Will Riker. By the time the “Next Generation” cast had made their transition to the big screen, the Troi / Worf relationship was dismissed to the point where “Star Trek: Insurrection” found Riker and Troi heavily flirting with each other, setting up the opening sequence in “Star Trek: Nemesis” where the two are preparing to finally tie the knot. Poor Worf, meanwhile, appears to either be drunk or terribly hung over; either way, the poor bastard has clearly attempted to drink away his sorrows in some capacity. Who’s the fragile one now? – WH

10. The Fonz & Ashley , “Happy Days”

His name may have been Arthur Fonzarelli, but the only person who dared to call him “Arthur” and lived to tell the tale was Marion Cunningham. Everyone else referred to him as…The Fonz. Kids, we hate to go all “old fogie” on your ass, but, seriously, you just can’t appreciate how completely cool we thought The Fonz was back in the ‘70s. Henry Winkler took the character and made him someone that guys wanted to be and girls wanted to be with…and, boy, was he with a lot of girls! After nine seasons of playing the field, however, the powers that be decided that maybe it was finally time for The Fonz to settle down and find himself a steady lady friend. Fair enough, but given his past tastes in women, we expected someone along the lines of the leather-wearing Pinky Tuscadero. Instead, we got…a perky single mom? Not that Ashley Pfister (Linda Purl) wasn’t a cutie, a trait which she clearly passed down to her daughter, Heather, but watching Fonzie try to date her was like watching a square peg try to slip through a round hole. It didn’t take long to realize that the gold standard of coolness had been neutered, and by the next season of “Happy Days,” The Fonz was single once more. – WH

11. Willow & Tara, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”

Okay, we realize that we’re walking on eggshells when complaining about a lesbian relationship, partially because we don’t want to be perceived as being homophobic, but mostly because, c’mon, what straight guy doesn’t want to see two chicks getting it on? But neither of these points are the reason why we’ve included these lovely ladies on our list. Frankly, we’ve always just felt that the Willow / Tara relationship came completely out of left field. First, we watched Willow (Allyson Hannigan) gaze longingly at Xander as she suffered through a long-unrequited crush. Soon, however, she found solace in the arms of Oz, and although their relationship ended rather messily (that’s what happens when you date a werewolf), there was still no reason to believe that she would suddenly start playing for the other team and fall for Tara (Amber Benson). As such, her transition from straight to gay was one which felt completely unearned. Yes, of course Willow and Tara were cute as hell together, and we were as shocked and saddened as anyone else when poor Tara was gunned down, but, hey, all we’re saying is that we’re pretty sure that Oz could’ve taken down Warren with no muss, no fuss, and no Dark Willow, either. – WH

12. Barney & Robin, “How I Met Your Mother”

This won’t be the first time we’ve used this phrase within this piece, but it’s undeniable: the pairing of Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) and Robin (Cobie Smulders) really did look good on paper. They’re both pretty people, both of them suffer from a serious fear of commitment, and they both enjoy watching sports, tossing back drinks, and having sex. If they could’ve just brokered a deal where the sex didn’t have to be accompanied by any semblance of romance, everything would’ve been just fine.

Alas, there was an unfortunate wrinkle in the storyline: Barney was in love with Robin. We knew this to be the case even before the two of them hooked up – it was a major plotline throughout Season 4 – but once they finally got together, started having sex, and eventually defined their arrangement as an actual relationship, it felt like an egregious sin against everything the so-called “Bro Code” stood for. Inevitably, the two of them broke up, realizing that they brought out the worst in each other, and viewers breathed a sigh of relief. It was only temporary, though: even now, there are recurring reminders on the show that Barney still has feelings for Robin. In other words, keep your guard up. WH

13. George & Izzie, “Grey’s Anatomy”

I’ll be honest with you: I’ve never watched “Grey’s Anatomy” and therefore don’t know the first thing about the characters on the show or their relationships. I am assured by many others, however, that the decision to pair up George O’Malley (T. R. Knight) and Izzy Stevens (Katherine Heigl) was the stupidest move in the history of the series. Indeed, you may remember one of those “others” from the Bullz-Eye archives: she once went by the nom de plume Buffybot, and this is what she had to say:

“George and Izzie together was a horrible idea. They were best friends, but in a brother-sister kind of way. Fans derisively called the couple “Gizzie,” and many got so fed up they quit watching the show. Making matters worse were the facts that A) George was married to a really great character at the time (Callie) who by no means deserved to be cheated on, and B) Izzie’s coupling with George came right after the excellent storyline revolving around her tragic romance with the doomed (and ever so much more dreamy) Denny.”

We should probably also add that Television Without Pity almost included George and Izzie on their list of rotten TV relationships, but instead said, “Our parents taught us that it wasn’t nice to speak ill of the dead, even if it is just a fake TV dead.” Fortunately, we here at Bullz-Eye have no such standards. – WH

14. Jack & Vicky, “Three’s Company” / “Three’s A Crowd”

After eight seasons of chasing everything in a skirt across Santa Monica, Jack Tripper (John Ritter) finally found “the one.” Only problem is, he didn’t, and anybody who knows the names of both bartenders at the Regal Beagle also knows the events of the last few episodes of “Three’s Company” were total bullshit. Now this is nothing against Mary Cadorette, who played Vicky Bradford, the girl who stole Jack away from womankind, but horndog Tripper gave up his footloose and fancy-free lifestyle for this woman over the course of only three episodes?

Interestingly, this is actually one episode more than it took Janet (Joyce DeWitt) to get engaged in the same time period. It’s in this crissing and crossing that the whole thing falls apart, because the truth is Jack and Janet should have, after eight years of living together, finally admitted to one another how much they cared about each other and gotten together. That would’ve been right and proper and a fine end to the series (although a friend of mine asserts, “That would have been gross!”). So “Three’s Company” ended lamely, which in itself might not have been such a tragedy if not for the fact that the relationship spawned a completely unnecessary spin-off series, “Three’s a Crowd,” which chronicled the lives of Jack, Vicky, and Vicky’s father (the great Robert Mandan of “Soap”). The show only lasted a season, most likely because nobody cared about Jack and Vicky as a couple, or maybe just because Cadorette had no jiggle factor. See also “Joanie Loves Chachi.” – RR

15. Sock & Kristen, “Reaper”

For a show that survived a first-season cancellation by the slimmest of margins, you’d think that the dead last thing they would do in their second season premiere is introduce a subplot about incest. But the producers clearly thought that breakout star Tyler Labine could make anything funny, so poof, Bert “Sock” Wysocki suddenly has a smoking hot Japanese stepsister named Kristen (Eriko Tamura). Kristen adores Sock as the big brother that she always wanted, but Sock’s feelings for her are a little more complicated than that (which is really a nice way of saying they’re not remotely complicated – they’re just sick).

The scenes of them together were instant momentum killers, and at times even brought to mind the creepy Uncle Roy skits from “Saturday Night Live.” Worse, not content with the mere thought of sex between steps, Sock and Kristen ultimately did the deed, ewww. (Insert your own “Brady Bunch” joke here.) Kristen was gone by the next episode, but the damage had been done; “Reaper,” despite a killer finale – Sam loses Andi’s soul to the Devil in a game of quarters – was finished, undone by a subplot that not even Bad Idea Jeans would endorse. – David Medsker

“I can officially go on record now as saying that I was not happy with the storyline with me trying to fuck my stepsister. Believe me, you were one of many who was, like, ‘Sucks! Sucks! What’s going on? This storyline is bullshit!’ It just sort of ended up becoming exactly what they didn’t want it to become; they wanted it to be kind of charming and sweet. I’m, like, ‘How the fuck do you make a storyline about trying to sleep with your stepsister sweet?’ And they’re, like, ‘Oh, don’t worry, we will. You can do it.’ I’m, like, ‘I don’t know,’ and then I watched it, and I was just, ‘We have got to get rid of this storyline! This is not working!’ It felt like it was on a different show at times. And, you know, I had fun working with Eriko (Tamura), and I’m not saying anything was wrong with her. She was great, and she’s beautiful. I think the idea was that they thought they could push a character like Sock anywhere, just make him do anything, and people would still like it. And they were wrong.” – Tyler Labine, 6/9/2009