Aptly enough for a sports comedy, our interviewees today are a ragtag collection of lovable underdogs. Unavoidably geeky, Jay Baruchel’s starring roles in “She’s Out of My League,” “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice,” and “How to Train Your Dragon” have left him short of the A-list; he’s still perhaps best known as the lead alum of Judd Apatow’s beloved, quickly cancelled 2001 sitcom, “Undeclared.” Leading man Seann William Scott has worked in numerous films in a pretty wide variety of genres, yet to almost everyone he’s still obnoxious Steve Stifler of the “American Pie” series; he’ll be reprising the character for a fourth go-round in the upcoming “American Reunion.” Director Michael Dowse has some indie successes on his CV, but his last attempt to break into the mainstream, “Take Me Home Tonight,” was an unmitigated commercial disaster and, for the most part, a critical flop. (We, however, liked it a lot; so much for the Bullz-Eye bump.)

Already available on VOD, “Goon” is one underdog movie we’re definitely rooting for. Loosely inspired by minor league hockey star Doug Smith’s memoir and co-written by Canadian hockey fan Baruchel and veteran Apatow-scribe Evan Goldberg, the film focuses on Doug Glatt (Scott), a goodhearted bouncer of no great intellect who finds himself promoted to full-time hockey thug.

Featuring an outstanding supporting cast comprised of Baruchel, Liev Schreiber, Eugene Levy, Kim Coates (“Sons of Anarchy“) and Alison Pill as the dysfunctional love of Doug Glatt’s life, “Goon” doesn’t gloss over the ugliness of sports violence even as it humorously celebrates it. For that, it took some punches from the traditionally violence-averse British press on its earlier UK release. The Yankee press, however, has been kinder, and there may be some hope of a wide release if enough of you hit the initial U.S. screenings starting this Friday.

Low-key Minnesota native Seann William Scott, intense Montrealite Jay Baruchel, and matter-of-fact Canadian filmmaker Michael Dowse were still high on the afterglow of a successful industry screening the night before when a bunch of us journos met with the trio at the Beverly Hilton. Some amusing and informative highlights are below.

Jay Baruchel on creating Doug Glatt, the not-so-bright but incredibly decent hero of “Goon.”

My dad used to have this expression, which was “Don’t complicate a ham sandwich.” In my experience, a lot of the hardest guys I know are also the kindest and most mild-mannered and gentlest. This in no way means that [their kindness] should be mistaken for weakness. He’s a man who knows what he wants, or finds out what he wants and where he’s supposed to be. He’s fulfilled.

Seann William Scott on playing Doug Glatt.

He’s written to be such a lovable guy and so good to his core. It was written with that specificity and I consider myself to be a good guy, so it’s not hard for me to play that… I was always aware of wanting to make sure there were different colors. Anything that I could bring, but it was already written with that kind of code of honor that he has. He’s self aware of the kind of guy he is and where he is in the world, but it is kind of black and white.

Jay Baruchel on the casting of Seann William Scott.

There’s no movie without him and there’s virtually no alternative… We had no #2. With anything, it’s in your best interest to cover your ass and have your sort of top list of who you’d want. Literally, for Doug it was [a list of] one. It was that or maybe find an unknown, because there’s not a lot of boys in movies who look like they could kick the shit out of somebody that you’d find sympathetic, who would embody everything the guy has to embody. As slow as he is, he’s not simple in the least. I don’t know who can take credit for [first] mentioning Seann but it was a light bulb moment. When we all met him, within five seconds of meeting him we were like, “This is clearly our fuckin’ guy.”

Michael Dowse on why Doug Glatt — unlike real-life player and Goon author Doug Smith — is Jewish.

That was something that Jay and Evan [Goldberg] brought in there. It came out of Jay’s personal history. His dad is Jewish and played hockey. He had to negotiate that. It’s not a pretty picture, being a Jewish hockey player in Quebec.

Seann William Scott on how playing Doug Glatt fits into his (so far) Steve Stifler-dominated filmography.

["Goon"] would have been a movie that I would have loved to have done when I started off my career… I’ve been typecast for sure, but I still appreciate every job I get and you just have to make the best of it. [With "Goon"] I didn’t have to make the best of it. This was already great and I got this opportunity to work with filmmakers who believed in me as an actor…Then I got to go back and do “American Pie 4″ and I had an absolute awesome time. Would I love to go play a character like Eric Bana in “Chopper” or [Tom Hardy in] “Bronson”? That would be great, but I’m pretty psyched that I was in this.

Jay Baruchel on the “Goon” approach to depicting hockey, fights and hockey fights.

Everyone got a bit dinged up. Everyone tagged each other at some point. Not on purpose but I don’t even know how many fights we have in our movie. When you have as much fighting as we had with as many big boys together on skates, somebody’s bound to tag somebody.

… I don’t want anybody to smell bullshit because I think that hockey has, for the most part, been very poorly photographed in movies. I think it’s the lack of space and the speed and the size. For whatever combination of reasons, people have never shot hockey the way it should be shot in a movie, for the most part. We needed to nail that.

We [also] needed the audience to feel every punch. There are different types of fights in the movie. They run the gamut. Some are played more for fun; some are meant to be exhilarating. Some are meant to be straight unpleasant — as it is. We wanted people, when they sit down to watch our flick, that they’ll either experience on their inside kind of what it feels like to be out there or, at the very least, what it feels like to be in the stands. It’s a love letter to a very specific, strange job in professional sports.

Seann William Scott on learning to skate and fight like Doug Glatt, who initially doesn’t know how to skate at all but definitely knows how to fight.

I knew [how to skate] probably better than most non-skaters. I hadn’t put skates on since I was a little kid. I was able to move around a little bit. I did the best that I could before the shoot to practice. What you see in the movie — those are my highlights. That’s my A-game. The fights were pretty intense [and were harder to accomplish than the skating] but it was worth it. Watching the movie, the fights looked awesome… Surprisingly, there weren’t major injuries. There should have been.

Michael Dowse on improvising with Jay Baruchel.

Jay is a filthy improvisor. I knew he was talented but until you actually work with him on the day [you can't tell]. I mean, he disgusted me with some of the stuff that came out of his mouth. That’s saying a lot. I’ve heard a lot of bad shit. I would turn to [the continuity person] and say, “What did he just say? ‘Colostomy bag’?”

Jay Baruchel on hockey movies.

The only hockey films that have any influence on me would be “Slap Shot” and then it’s pretty barren after that. I’d also put what I think is at least one of the best sports documentaries of all time, a very under seen movie called “Les Chiefs,” following a minor league team outside of Montreal for one season in a fight league. That doc centers around this guy who was born to a family of doctors. His brother’s a filmmaker, and he has no interest in doing [medicine] and they all shit on him constantly for it. That, plus the book itself, Goon, and my dad. Just a bunch of different ingredients came into it.

Michael Dowse, who plays hockey, on hockey movies.

I just thought there was a need to make a really good hockey movie again. It had been a while and there’d been a lot of really bad hockey films. I don’t know why they make such bad hockey films. There’s always chimpanzees and tooth fairies and weird shit going on.

Seann William Scott on his work out regimen for “Goon.”

You don’t see me with my shirt off in the movie. There’s a reason for that. To be absolutely honest, before the movie got its money, I’d been training my whole life as an athlete or just to stay in shape. I said, “I’m going to take some time off.”

I’m the kind of guy who, if I don’t work out, I will get a little bigger and look like a guy who used to play sports. Then, when it looked like we were going to do the movie, it was a combination of already changing how I used to train and to gain weight, which was easier. I thought the only way it would look legit for me to take on these guys was to look bigger… It wouldn’t make sense for me to be a gym rat.

The first couple of times I watched the movie, [I'd say] “Man, I’m pretty big there.” But it works so well for the character and makes him more lovable. Now, when I watch the movie, I don’t notice how many Twinkies I ate that day.

Michael Dowse on re-teaming “American Pie” costars Seann William Scott and Eugene Levy.

One of my bucket list things is to work with every single member of SCTV and see if I can get them in a film somehow. So, to work with Eugene was a dream come true. We wanted to do something different, and I think he responded to that idea. Because of the history of Seann and Eugene in a movie together, we definitely needed Eugene to play it seriously. I think he’s actually shown some really great dramatic chops in this film… He kind of surprises people because they expect his eyebrows and all that jazz. What they get is just a really concerned father.

Jay Baruchel on the sense of validation he’s getting from the good response to “Goon.”

We weren’t paid any heed for a very, very long time or taken seriously at all [in Hollywood]. To show it down here last night and to have this sort of jaded L.A. industry crowd — a lot of agents and execs and shit in there, they couldn’t care less about anything… So, when they see our movie and it connects the way that it did, I was like, “Yep, see. Toldja.”

Sean William Scott on the inevitable question: What’s “American Reunion” going to be like?

I’m pretty excited about it, I have to say. We set out to try to just make a great comedy with these characters. Obviously, if I was going to play this role for a fourth time, I didn’t want it to be cheap. I’ve already been typecast — it doesn’t bother me, but if I’m going to do it again, I want it to be a standalone great comedy. It exceeded my expectations. The guys are in their 30s now; they’re dealing with a little bit more real stuff… I think coming back for the high school reunion, it almost feels like a direct sequel to the first one. I was surprised, when I saw it, that it has a lot of heart and a lot of romance for that kind of movie.

Seann William Scott on whether Steve Stifler has married anyone by the start of “American Reunion.”

[Snorting] Oh, no! He’s lucky to get a date.

If you’ve paid any attention whatsoever to the entertainment news coming out of Hollywood in the past few weeks, then you can’t help but be aware of Charlie Sheen’s increasingly strange shenanigans and how they’ve directly affected the rest of the cast and crew of CBS’s long-running and ridiculously-successful sitcom, “Two and a Half Men.” Who would’ve thought that the infamous hotel incident in October 2010 would’ve proven to be one of the lesser moments on the actor’s ever-lengthening list of embarrassing incidents?

Now, after making the decision to bypass traditional rehab in favor of curing his drug and alcohol issues with his mind, Sheen has been running off at the mouth so much that CBS has pulled the plug and decided to call off the remainder of the episodes that had been planned for this season.

But what of next season? More importantly, given all of the nasty remarks that Sheen’s made toward series creator Chuck Lorre, will there even be a next season?

We know that CBS, Warner Brothers Television, and Lorre have ostensibly ruled out continuing “Two and a Half Men” without Sheen, but if we’re to be honest, it seems like the better tactic would be for the whole lot of them to say, “Hey, Charlie, read our lips: one monkey don’t stop no show,” then find a new man to join Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones and keep the title intact. We know things are kind of crazy over there at the moment, though, so we thought we’d at least try to help them a bit with the casting process.

Sure, they say they won’t continue without Charlie…but, then, they haven’t seen our suggestions yet.

First, let’s get the jokes out of our system, shall we? Yes, we chuckled at the thought of having Martin Sheen step into his son’s shoes, and we also had a laugh over the idea of Emilio Estevez taking over, since, really, what else has he got going on? We considered the possibility of Michael J. Fox getting a little bit of “Spin City” payback by having him replace Charlie, and at one point we also said, “Hey, how about Randy Quaid? If anyone can make Charlie Sheen look like the sane one…”

The following folks, however, are men that we think really would help keep “Two and a Half Men” on the air without having the number of laughs per minute fall below acceptable levels.

Woody Harrelson

Why he’d be a perfect fit: Harrelson got his first big break in television, thanks to playing dim-bulb bartender Woody Boyd on “Cheers,” but even though he eased into a perfectly reasonable feature-film career during the late ’90s, he wasn’t afraid to step back onto the small screen for a recurring role (seven episodes) on “Will & Grace” in 2001. These days, Harrelson’s mostly been pulling supporting-role parts, and although “Zombieland” was a pleasant exception, we can still see him accepting another sitcom gig, especially since the reality of the situation is that he’d pick up a decent chunk of change for a job that A) would be relatively short-term, and B) he could pretty much do in his sleep.

Jamie Kennedy

Why he’d be a perfect fit: Although your personal mileage may vary on his effectiveness, mainstream America has embraced Kennedy’s comedy on several occasions over the past decade. Between his self-titled “Experiment” running for three seasons on The WB and the continued cult success of his films “Malibu’s Most Wanted” and “Kickin’ It Old School” on DVD, he definitely qualifies as a proven comedic commodity for the “Two and a Half Men” crowd. Plus, he’s got at least a little bit of sitcom street cred behind the scenes as well, having co-created and written for The WB’s “Living with Fran,” Fran Drescher’s short-lived post-”Nanny” series. Most importantly, though, Kennedy secured honest dramatic work from 2008 to 2010 as part of the “Ghost Whisperer” cast, which means that he has a recent history as a member of the CBS family.

D.B. Sweeney

Why he’d be a perfect fit: Well, for one thing, we’d be willing to bet that most guys still think first and foremost of Sweeney for the work he did alongside the man he’d be replacing, in “Eight Men Out.” The ladies, however, tend to think of him…and still swoon over him…in conjunction with a different sport: hockey. Indeed, I am assured that any woman whose heart doesn’t go pitter-pat at the mere thought of “The Cutting Edge” should officially consider themselves to be a disgrace to their gender. Sweeney’s never really gotten a fair shake on television – none of the shows on which he’s been a full-fledged regular (“Strange Luck,” “C-16: FBI,” “Harsh Realm,” and “Life as We Know It”) have survived beyond their first season – but given that he’s capable of playing the bad boy and getting both girls and laughs, he strikes us as a highly viable candidate.

Seann William Scott

Why he’d be a perfect fit: Do we really need to spell it out for you? Scott may not be thrilled that he’s gotten more than a little bit typecast as his “American Pie” character, but a Stifler-esque type is exactly what “Two and a Half Men” needs to fill the vacuum that would be left by Charlie Sheen’s departure. Given Scott’s decreasing returns on the big screen in recent years, we’re a little surprised he hasn’t shown up in a sitcom yet, anyway, but this would be a perfect opportunity to revive his declining star power by playing up the comedic attributes that made him hot in the first place.

Matthew McConaughey

Why he’d be a perfect fit: What, you mean besides the fact that the female demos for “Two and a Half Men” would shoot into the stratosphere? I don’t think anyone will deny that McConaughey is still a proven box-office draw when he’s playing against an equally pretty leading lady in a vapid romantic comedy, but the last time he tried to step outside that mold, we got “Surfer, Dude,” a film which might as well have gone straight to video, given how few theaters cared enough to screen it. Not that the movie jobs aren’t continuing to roll in, anyway, but we know how badly McConaughey wants to make “The Grackle,” a film which he describes variously as “the funniest script I’ve ever, ever read,” “a game-breaker,” and “a rule-changing role and movie.” Taking a high-profile sitcom gig would help raise his stock in Hollywood and might well put him in the position to finally make “The Grackle” come to fruition.

John C. McGinley

Why he’d be a perfect fit: Although McGinley might not immediately come to mind when considering someone to step into Sheen’s shoes, the actors have actually shared the screen before, albeit in a slightly more dramatic capacity. (After all those years of seeing him as Dr. Cox, you’re forgiven if you’d forgotten that McGinley was in both “Platoon” and “Wall Street.”) Admittedly, we wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t interested in taking on another sitcom gig so soon after wrapping “Scrubs,” especially if he has any desire whatsoever to make a significant play for more feature-film work, but he was so darned good at berating Zach Braff that we’d be lying if we didn’t admit to being kind of excited at the thought of pitting him against Cryer and Jones.

Joe Rogan

Why he’d be a perfect fit: Although he was seen by far more eyes as the host of “Fear Factor” than he ever was as a cast member of the late, great “NewsRadio,” the latter gig demonstrated how well Rogan could work in an ensemble-comedy setting. In recent years, he’s been splitting his time between stand-up, podcasting, and – oddly enough – serving as the UFC’s go-to interviewer, but we think the time could be right for Rogan to return to the sitcom world.

Michael Madsen

Why he’d be a perfect fit: Not to undercut anyone else’s reputation, but given that IMDb would have us believe that Madsen currently has twenty goddamned film projects in various stages of production (along with another two on which he’s merely rumored), with James Brown no longer with us, we have no qualms about declaring him to be The Hardest Working Man in Show Business. Isn’t it about time the guy got a chance to sit back and relax – relatively speaking – with a sitcom gig? He cuts a figure that’s the complete antithesis of Cryer’s character, and although he doesn’t necessarily have a longstanding history in comedy, the man knows his way around a deadpan remark. Plus, you know you want to see him go head-to-head with Holland Taylor and Conchata Ferrell…

Bronson Pinchot

Why he’d be a perfect fit: As recently as six months ago, this would’ve seemed like a completely left-field suggestion (and we’re willing to concede that you may still consider it one), but damned if Pinchot hasn’t turned up on Monday nights on two different occasions this season, first on “Chuck,” then on “Hawaii Five-0.” To our way of thinking, the time couldn’t be more right for him to have a career renaissance. I mean, the dude was kicking some serious comedy ass in the late ’80s, what with stealing scenes from Eddie Murphy in “Beverly Hills Cop” and picking up an Emmy nod for his work as Balki Bartokomous on “Perfect Strangers,” but aside from a nice – if small – role in “True Romance,” the ’90s weren’t over kind to him, and although the ’00s gave him a few nice guest roles, his only regular TV role during the decade involved spending a season on “The Surreal Life.” After an experience like that, surely anyone would have earned a chance to step out of the limelight and into a proper spotlight. Pinchot’s been playing more dramatic roles in recent years, and successfully at that, but we miss seeing him get the chance to be funny. This could be that chance. (Hey, if nothing else, give us some credit for thinking outside the box, huh?)

Andrew McCarthy

Why he’d be a perfect fit: Um…because this photo proves that he can cut down on the show’s outrageous bowling-shirt budget by bringing his own wardrobe to the table?

Oh, okay, we admit it: this is the least serious suggestion we’re bringing to the table, but, seriously, how awesome would it be to see McCarthy and Cryer together again? ‘Cause, like, what if there was an episode where they ended up vying for the same girl’s affections? And then on the same episode, McCarthy’s character had a complete douche of a best friend who came to visit?

Can you smell the pink and pretty concoction that Bullz-Eye’s cooking up…? If so, please make sure that the scent wafts its way over to CBS, because even if they blow the show’s entire guest-star budget for the 2011 – 2012 season to bring in Molly Ringwald and James Spader, I’m telling you, this is Sweeps Week magic just waiting to happen.

Here endeth Bullz-Eye’s list of suggestions for possible Charlie Sheen replacements…but rather than simply throwing a list of names into Chuck Lorre’s lap and saying, “Okay, now you guys go do the heavy lifting,” we’d like to close the proceedings by letting our resident “Two and a Half Men” fan, Ross Ruediger, offer up a few fully-formed (well, mostly, anyway) ideas for how the series can move forward without stepping outside the show’s existing cast of characters…which, come to think of it, is probably what actual devotees would prefer, anyway.

A Modest Proposal

by Ross Ruediger

Given the sheer amount of time that Jon Cryer has put into “Two and a Half Men,” there’s really no question that he’s just as much of a lead as Charlie Sheen is on that show. Sure, Sheen gets the girls and gets to do all the fun shit, but not only has Cryer done his time, he’s actually won an Emmy while doing it.

“Two and a Half Men” gets a lot of shit, and, okay, so it’s not the best show in the world, but it’s still funny, and God knows it’s popular. Still, we’ve all seen that Charlie Sheen has aged quite visibly this season, and it’s probably no coincidence that the character of Charlie Harper has been going downhill, too. I feel like it could really give the show a jolt of energy if Chuck Lorre and the writers just said, “Fuck it, we’re moving on. Charlie’s gone, someone else has got his money…now let’s see what happens.”