Note: Because it can be hard to keep all the names and faces straight, the first mention of each character contains a link to a picture of them which will open in a new tab.

Winterfell

Before last night, Theon’s sister Yara was manipulative and mocking of her baby brother. She went so far as to allow him to get some inappropriate groping in to find out who he really is (and humiliate him). Well, inappropriate unless you’re a Targaryen, Cersei, or Jaime. As I so often discuss, every character in “Game of Thrones” is a human being, and we finally saw Yara’s human side last night.

As much as she is in competition with Theon for both power and their father’s affections, her anecdote about Theon, the “terrible baby” who finally stopped crying and even smiled when she came over to his crib showed that she truly cares for him despite being sent away for half his life. Furthermore, her insistence, and hope, that Theon doesn’t “die so far from the sea” was about as affectionate as the Greyjoys get.

On a happier note, Bran and Rickon are still alive. Along with Osha and Hodor, the boys have doubled back and are now hiding in Winterfell’s crypts, hopefully the last place anyone will think to look for them. That final scene was so perfectly executed, with Osha and Maester Luwin discussing how they could not tell Bran that Theon burned  the orphan boys and passed them off as the Starks, because he’d blame himself.

Eddard Stark’s influence is still incredibly evident in all the children he raised. Indeed Bran heard everything his caretakers said, and his teary expression indicates he does blame himself. Bran feels he has failed in his duty as Lord of Winterfell, and it has shaken him to the core despite his age. Ned’s tutelage is even apparent in Theon, who despite his many failings takes no joy in the things he’s done. Theon is not a sadist and the fact that he even has inner conflict is the direct consequence of the caring nature of the man who raised him. However, we see the most of Ned in Robb, as I’ll discuss right about… now.

The King in the North, the Kingslayer’s roadtrip

We saw Ned’s impact on Robb a great deal tonight, both literally, as in Robb’s initial conversation with Talisa, as well as in the young king’s actions (although not entirely in the way one might expect).

When Robb discovers that Catelyn freed Jaime in an effort to rescue Sansa and Arya, he feels understandably betrayed. Cat once chastised Renly, saying “my son is fighting a war, not playing at one,” yet now she seems to be playing as well. And not just at war but hostage Go Fish. “Got any Aryas? No? How about a Sansa?” As a result, Robb is slowly realizing that no one else, not even his mother, abides by the same code of honor which he does. This upsets him, but at the same time he recognizes some need to change. Robb knows what happened to Ned when he played the game of thrones too honorably (and stubbornly).

I believe something Tywin said to his war counselors was foreshadowing Robb’s, er, “slip up,” with Talisa. Tywin said, “He’s a boy and he’s never lost a battle. He’ll risk anything at any time, because he doesn’t know enough to be afraid.” Indeed, Robb may have risked a great deal by forsaking his pact with the Freys. It’s very telling, and displays the Ned in him, that he waited as long as he did. It’s clear he fears for his siblings just as much as Cat does, and he succumbed, in a moment of weakness, only when Talisa told her story. She knows the feeling of having a brother in mortal peril, which gave him something to latch on to. While his actions weren’t very honorable, Ned (allegedly) had his own moment of weakness while away fighting a war.

Meanwhile, Brienne is escorting Jaime back to King’s Landing. And thus, a buddy-buddy road trip comedy was born. The two appear to be exact opposites, one’s a man, one’s a woman, one seems to be a machine that runs on honor, while the other was quite recently called “a man without honor,” the quote for which last week’s episode was named. Will opposites attract or will the two be at each other’s throats the whole way to the capital (if they even make it there)? If nothing else, Jaime and Brienne’s interactions are sure to provide plenty of humor. We saw the beginnings of it last night. “Have you known many men, my lady? No, I suppose not. Women? Horses?”

Beyond the Wall

Things are beginning to heat up beyond the wall. Of course, I mean that ironically (dictionary ironic, not Alanis Morissette ironic), and it’s a pun as well. Wordplay, woo! Anyway, Jon and Qhorin have been captured, which means we get to meet some great wildling characters, like Rattleshirt (also known as the Lord of Bones). Furthermore, we get a glimpse into their culture, one of the few in Westeros where a woman’s voice can hold weight (as long as she’s got a sword to back it up). Ygritte was able to keep Jon alive at least until he meets Mance Rayder, the King-Beyond-the-Wall.

There are so many great character parallels in this show, it’s hard to keep track. This week, Jon and Bran faced much the same conflict. While the wildlings took Qhorin hostage, they killed the rest of the Black Brothers searching for Jon. These men of the Night’s Watch died for Jon, just as the orphan boys did for Bran. Qhorin tells Jon to “see that it wasn’t for nothing,” and I believe both Stark and Snow intend to do just that.

The two men of the Night’s Watch now have a plan: get the wildlings to trust Jon, because “one brother inside [Mance Rayder's] army is worth a thousand fighting against him.” The Halfhand instructed Jon to do whatever it takes to gain the trust of their captors, it remains to be seen what those orders will fully entail.

Meanwhile, Samwell discovered a cache of Dragonglass, or obsidian, at the Fist of the First Men. Non-readers can’t be sure what its use will be yet. But obviously the showrunners didn’t include that scene for shits and giggles.

Harrenhal

Arya finally realized the folly of not givng Jaqen Lord Tywin’s name when she had the chance, and now it’s too late. But the mistake also bred one of her most ingenious plots yet, finding a loophole. A girl has given a man his own name, and she’s not joking around, telling him to go kill himself. To get her to unname him, Jaqen resolves to help Arya escape, which she does without issue (as of yet). The dude is one efficient assassin.

King’s Landing

Cersei is upset that Tyrion insists on having Joffrey fight in the upcoming battle. It’s actually a good idea, as Tyrion says “The men will fight more fiercely seeing their king fighting behind them, instead of hiding behind his mother’s skirts.” But Cersei is paranoid, she believes Tyrion only wants his nephew to fight in the hopes that he’ll die in battle. That said, it may be a bit unfair to call it paranoia, she’s not exactly wrong. It’s not as if the subject of killing Joffrey and crowning Tommen has never come up in Tyrion’s conversations.

Cersei can’t stop Joffrey from fighting, but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t try to get her revenge. She has Ros beaten, believing her to be Tyrion’s lady love. But Tyrion may just be the best liar in the seven kingdoms, and he pulls off the ol’ whore switcheroo. His ability to play the game of thrones is pretty incredible. He had to act as though Cersei truly had found him out, and he brlliantly combined that with his very real relief that it was not truly Shae that had been captured as well as his very real anger that anyone (let alone a woman) had been unjustly beaten. In the scene that followed, we saw just how genuine his love for Shae is.

Stannis and Davos, War is Coming

Stannis might be rigid, but his unwavering support of Davos, who’s now his future Hand, makes him one of the most respectable characters around. With Ned gone, Davos may just be the moral center of the show’s universe. He’s an honest, self-made man who does what he believes to be right regardless of the situation. He obeys Stannis absolutely, but he’s also not afraid to question his king when he disagrees with a decision, he’s even able to convince him once in a while.

Their interaction last night further elaborated on the events that led to Davos being raised to knighthood as well as Stannis’ motivations for having Renly shadow-assassinated and wanting to be king (because its right, not because he particularly wants it).

And, if nothing else, it’s always great when Stannis is funny, even though it’s generally unintentional. “Then [we ate] the cats. Never liked cats, so fine.”

Next week’s episode is going to be great for those of you who find that “Game of Thrones” to be lacking in action scenes. It’s called “Blackwater,” after the bay in which the battle for King’s Landing will take place, and it was written by George R.R. Martin, the author of the books. Check out a preview here.

This week’s episode was different than most, it had a whole lot of character development and almost no macro-level action. As such, I’m going to be experimenting with something different as well. As usual, the post will largely be divided based on geography, but I’m also going to split some of it based on character and thematic groups. Don’t worry, you’ll see what I mean.

Winterfell

Theon Greyjoy is sure in a pickle. Nobody likes him, he goes from trying to rally the Ironborn to please Robb Stark to attacking the North to please his father. He just can’t win. Anyway, the actors in “Game of Thrones” have perfected the art of fading from smirk to grimace. If you watch the episode again, look for the way Theon’s expression changes as he turns from the people of Winterfell to the horribly burnt bodies of Bran and Rickon Stark. I mean, those bodies are Bran and Rickon, aren’t they?

Well, they might be. Theon did say there was nothing he wouldn’t do to stop himself from looking like a fool and that it’s better to be cruel than weak. Then again, when they mounted Ned’s head on a spike in King’s Landing it was perfectly recognizable, so why go to all the trouble of burning the bodies? Let alone the bodies of two boys Theon once thought of as brothers and whom he clearly still cares for, despite trying oh so hard to act like he doesn’t. And if Theon really did find and kill the boys where are Osha and Hodor (who’d be pretty hard to miss)? That said, this is “Game of Thrones,” we all know anyone can be killed. Maester Luwin was certainly convinced, are you?

Qarth

As I suspected, the dragon-napping was a way for Pyat Pree to get Daenerys into the House of the Undying. Most of you still don’t know what that means, but take my word for it, going there is just about the only interesting thing she does in the second book. As I’ve said her story line is boring, so they’re adding stuff like the dragon-napping and Xaro’s little coup d’état to spice things up a bit. There’s not much else to say other than let’s wait and see where it takes us. Oh, and that Pyat Pree is one creepy motherfucker.

The Lannisters as good guys?

As I’ve often discussed, one of the best things about Game of Thrones is that there are no good guys or bad guys, no heroes or villains, no black or white, only human beings and thus shades of grey. This week’s episode gave us some of the best evidence of this yet, as we got a glimpse into the minds of a number of prominent members of House Lannister. While they’ve done some awful things, the Lannisters are still human, and they’ve undergone many of the same struggles as the characters we love.

Last week, we saw a different side of Tywin when he told Arya about teaching Jaime to read. His humanization continued this week, partly because of the way he told Arya she reminds him Cersei after she said “most girls are idiots.” Like Cersei, Arya has no interest in things that are “meant” for girls, although I’m sure she didn’t take too kindly to being compared to someone one her to-kill list. More importantly however, Tywin actually took steps to protect Arya, who he now believes to be highborn, telling her to say “m’lord” rather than “my lord” if she wants to pass herself off as a commoner. Whether or not Tywin knows who she is specifically remains to be seen.

Tywin is just a man who loves his family, and he’s doing what he can to protect them in the only way he knows how. Humanizing him is one thing, but this week the show actually managed to make Cersei a sympathetic character, a far more daunting task. In her conversation with Sansa, we saw that the two have something in common. Sansa got her first visit from Aunt Flow, which means of course that she is now fit to bear Joffrey’s children, a prospect that once delighted her. After all, it’s the most honorable thing a Queen can do, or so Westerosi culture would have us believe. Similarly, there was a time when Cersei would have been overjoyed at the thought of mothering Robert’s children. However, as time went on both Sansa and Cersei discovered that they hated their betrothed, Robert was a drunkard and Joffrey is a sadistic little prick. As such, Cersei advises Sansa to love only her children, because “the more people you love, the weaker you are.”

There was also her conversation with Tyrion, in which she wonders if Joffrey’s cruelty is the price for the things she’s done, namely fucking her brother. She seems sorry for what’s happened as a result of Joffrey’s refusal to listen to her. As Tyrion put it, “it’s hard to put a leash on a dog once you’ve put a crown on its head.” For a few seconds, she seems genuinely remorseful. I mean, she actually cries, and as much as she hated Robert, she recognizes that while he was a drunken fool, he didn’t enjoy cruelty. If it’s any consolation, Tommen and Myrcella are good, decent children, as Tyrion points out. I suppose two out of three ain’t bad.

Lastly there’s Jaime, another Lannister who’s tough to like. It didn’t exactly help that the Kingslayer used killing his own cousin, who worshiped the ground he walked on, as a means of attempting an escape. However, unlike Ned Stark, who fathered a bastard in Jon Snow (or so we’re lead to believe), Jaime has been with only one woman. Granted, that woman is his sister, but there’s something to be said for that kind of dedicated monogamy in a culture as male-dominated as that of Westeros. Furthermore, his little riff about vows was fantastic, giving us some semblance of justification for the things he’s done. “So many vows, they make you swear and swear. Defend the king, obey the king, obey your father, protect the innocent, defend the weak. But what if your father despises the king? What if the king massacres the innocent? It’s too much, no matter what you do you’re forsaking one vow for another.”

Beyond the Wall

Up north, Jon Snow seems to be learning the same lessons about universal humanity as we are. Last season, in his conversation with Benjen Stark, Tyrion said, “I believe that the only difference between us and the wildlings is that when that Wall went up, our ancestors happened to live on the right side of it.” It seems that Jon confirmed this last night when he told Ygritte about his Stark heritage. He has the blood of the First Men, just as she does, which prompts her to ask why he’s fighting them. A valid question, given what we saw in the first scene of the series. In truth, the people of the seven kingdoms and the wildlings share a common enemy in the white walkers, although few people south of the Wall would believe it. Benjen knew though, his response to Tyrion was, “You’re right. The wildlings are no different from us. A little rougher, maybe. But they’re made of meat and bone. I know how to track ‘em and I know how to kill ‘em. It’s not the wildlings giving me sleepless nights.”

We were also treated to a bit of will they/won’t they. Jon’s vow of chastity is certainly being tested, when they awoke Ygritte asked if he’d pulled a knife on her in the night. Insert “wildling, you make Jon’s heart sing“ and other puns about his “sword in the darkness.”

Morning Announcements: It’s come to my attention that non-readers (and probably some readers too) have a hard time keeping all the names aligned with their faces. In order to help remedy that problem, the first mention of a character in a post will include a link to a picture of them. 

I almost can’t believe that a show exists where the opening sequence bears discussing week in and week out. But one does in Game of Thrones. No new cities this episode, but as the camera panned from the Wall across the Shivering Sea to Qarth, we actually got an up-close glimpse of the mysterious red comet. Now, all the best shows have incredible attention to detail, but I challenge you to find one that reaches “Throne’s” level in its opening sequence. Moving on.

Renly vs. Stannis, Littlefinger and the Tyrells

Well they certainly didn’t waste any time here, which is a good thing. After leaving us with a cliffhanger last week, not making Renly’s death the opening scene would’ve rustled my jimmies. Now all of us Stark supporters will be left wondering what might have been if Renly and his hundred thousand swords had been able to join forces with Robb against the Lannisters. Stannis is “pure iron, black and hard and strong, yes, but brittle, the way iron gets. He’ll break before he bends.” He will never align with the Starks as long as Robb insists on calling himself the King in the North.

You’ve got to credit the showrunners for the way they handled this. From the preseason trailers they made it seem as though Renly would have a tremendous part to play, which I’m sure made his sudden death that much more surprising. Plus, the CGI was fantastic, the shadow assassin actually looked like Stannis, as it should considering it’s his “son.”

Only Littlefinger knows what Littlefinger’s true motivations are. He knows that war is unpredictable, so he’s trying to be everybody’s friend. Problem is, nobody trusts him. His conversation with Loras and Margaery Tyrell was illuminating for all three characters. Lord Baelish asks Loras what he desires most. Loras responds, “revenge,” which Littlefinger has “always found to be the purest of motivations.” Perhaps a hint as to why he betrayed Ned Stark, who was married to the only woman he’s ever loved, Catelyn.

In this week’s “Inside the Episode,” the showrunners explained that House Tyrell is a “secret matriarchy,” in which the men are “handsome dopes” and the women are the “brains behind the operation.” Littlefinger asks Margaery if she wants to be a queen. “No,” she responds, “I want to be the queen.” Margaery is a saner version of Cersei, she’s not so conniving, but she’s certainly a player in the game of thrones.

King’s Landing

Back in the capital, Tyrion continues his attempts to restore order and institute justice, always quipping as he goes. Lancel tells him of Cersei’s plan to defend the city from siege using wildfire. Tyrion takes control of the plans, knowing that in the wrong hands, the volatile substance is likely to burn the city, and people, it’s meant to protect. On his way to the Alchemist’s Guild, he learns he’s being made a scapegoat for the city’s ills, because it’s easy to blame someone who’s different. Tyrion is incredulous, “Blame me?” he asks, “I’m trying to save them.” Story of his life.

The parallels between both Cersei and Joffrey and Aerys II Targaryen, the “Mad King,” are becoming increasingly clear. Joffrey is quick to punish anyone who questions his reign, or, you know, anyone he feels like punishing, be it Sansa, Ser Dontos, or a lowly bard. And like Cersei, the Mad King had a penchant for paranoia and wildfire. Last season, when asked what Aerys said when he stabbed him in the back, Jaime responded, “He said the same thing he’d been saying for hours. Burn them all.” In the books we learn that Aerys planned to burn the city, and everyone in it, rather than surrender. “Let [Robert] be king over charred bones and cooked meat… Let him be the king of ashes.”

Harrenhal

Arya put her badassery on full display last night. Lord Tywin catches her in a lie about where she’s from, and she’s got the stones to follow it up with another. Then she looks him right in the eye and tells him she doesn’t believe Robb can’t be killed, because “anyone can be killed.” The subtext here is “even you.” She doesn’t even blink.

Then she meets up with Jaqen H’ghar. ”A man owes three. The Red God takes what is his, and only death may pay for life.” Now, she could’ve chosen anyone, King Joffrey, Lord Tywin, Queen Cersei, but she shows her age when she picks the Tickler. She’s still a child, badass though she might be, so she acts on impulse and emotion, picking someone who’s affected her life directly rather than considering an abstract concept such as turning the tide of war. You might ask why she didn’t pick Lord Tywin, given that she’d essentially just told him he was going to die. That’s simple, remember what it was like at Harrenhal before Tywin arrived? For now, he’s doing her more direct good than harm.

Beyond the Wall

Jon Snow and the rest of the men from Castle Black met with Qhorin Halfhand, the closest thing the Night’s Watch has to a legendary warrior, at the Fist of the First Men. Jon’s being groomed for leadership, there are hopes that he’ll be the Lord Commander someday. This process takes patience, which Jon isn’t exactly chock full of. When he asks to be included in Qhorin’s mission, Jeor rebuffs him, but eventually relents.

And of course Dolorous Edd, dolorous as always, provided some comic relief. Sam asks what his fellow black brothers think the first men were like. Edd responds, “Stupid. Smart people don’t find themselves in places like this.” Jon knows better, “they were afraid. I think they came here to get away from something, and I don’t think it worked.”

Qarth

I really can’t give the CGI guys enough credit, considering the relatively minuscule budget they’re working with. Anyway, we saw some interesting culture clash between the Dothraki, Qartheen, and Westerosi customs Dany is surrounded by. It’s clear Irri and the other Dothraki aren’t quite as understanding of the new cultures as Daenerys and Doreah. They really put this on display with the “she is not a princess, she is a khaleesi” line.

Dany met the warlock Pyat Pree, who invited her to the House of the Undying, which is going to be important later on, and Jorah met Quaithe, who shows up from time to time to give cryptic advice. Most importantly, she received news of the war in Westeros and a marriage offer from Xaro Xhoan Daxos. Xaro insists he will give Dany the seven kingdoms, but Jorah says she must take them for herself.

Pyke, Winterfell

Theon is still trying to find his way among the Ironmen, aiding his blood relatives in conquering the North. Their way is the old way, “they don’t do as they’re told, they do as they like.” In order to command his father, and his men’s, respect, Theon must do the same. He hatches a plan to attack Torrhen’s Square, knowing full well that he won’t be able to hold it for more than a few days before the Starks send men to take it back. That will leave Winterfell near unguarded, and then, well, that’s why he’s got that stupid smirk.

Bran is doing his best as the acting Lord of Winterfell. It’s clear things are hitting his brother Rickon, who’s too young to understand why his family has disappeared, hard. We can see him growing wild and unhinged without them.

Bran also tells Osha of his dreams, which have been shown to have some significance in the past. He’s dreamt that “the sea came to Winterfell. I saw waves crashing against the gates. The water came flowing over the walls, flooded the castle. Drowned men were floating here.”

Be sure to check out the preview of next week’s episode.