Product Review: Old Spice Champion Collection

Sometimes, “smelf-confidence” can be misplaced. Maybe it’s that booger you have hanging out of your nose that you’re unaware of, your wife that’s overly “friendly” to your homies on game day, or just that funk that emanates from your body that you’ve gotten so used to you don’t even notice anymore.

While Old Spice can’t help you with your incompetence, or your slutty wife, it can help you with your scent. The Old Spice Champion collection has an Offensive Odor game plan that breaks down as follows:

Old Spice Champion Body Wash Gel Douche

It’s first and 10 and you’ve got a long way to go to get clean, AKA to the end zone. Strip down like John Travolta at an all-male bath house and hit the showers with your bottle of Old Spice Champion Body Wash Gel Douche in your, ahem, hand. Before you apply it to your body, take a whiff and notice the effective, yet not overly apparent scent. What does it smell like, you ask? I’d say it’s similar to the Original Scent of the Original Old Spice, yet toned down a few notches, like John Travolta when he’s out with his wife. Lather up — we’ve got a drive to “consummate” here.

Old Spice Champion Body Spray

It’s second and six after a solid gain on first down thanks to the effectiveness of the Old Spice Champion Body Wash Gel Douche. Now that you’re out of the shower, let the all-out assault of the Old Spice Champion Body Spray on your body begin. Apply it liberally, like Obama wants to apply his healthcare bill. Cover your body in it and you’ll notice quickly that has a refreshing scent like you’d expect from any Old Spice product, but it also has the refreshing tingle and scent of Original Scent crossbred with baby powder. You may say, “Oh, Paul, baby powder, what’s the deal man? I’m a man, man!” Yes you are, but your lady isn’t. She’s the one, after all, nuzzling your body with her ample bosom, so let’s keep her bosom happy. Game, set, you.

Old Spice Champion Anti-Perspirant & Deodorant

It’s third and one. You’re moving the ball down the field in an efficient manner, but efficiency doesn’t sell, sex does. So slather on the sex, AKA Old Spice Champion Anti-Perspirant & Deodorant, and assault the opposing team’s (or any lady of your choosing) front line! “Believe In Your Smelf” and fire that pigskin over them mountains — go deep! Thanks to the scent of the Old Spice Champion Deodorant, you’ll already have the requisite confidence to cock your arm behind your head, exposing your great smelling armpit, and find your #1 wide out Greg Jennings running a fly pattern to an easy TD!

The Old Spice Champion Gold Collection is available in somewhat limited edition via the website here, or at any reputable store in your area.


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Old Spice Red Zone Swagger gift pack increases chances at Awesomeness!

We recently received and opened the Old Spice Swagger gift set (with scratch n’ sniff included), and we were jacked up to find out what was inside. Swagger immediately gets one’s attention as it’s something that most guys either have or want to have! I can proudly say that I now have Swagger and I feel great about it! Old Spice delivers with their Swagger line, which includes a Deodorant, Body Wash and Body Spray that have what it takes to make guys feel clean and smell like a man.

Swagger Deodorant puts your odor on 24-hour lockdown and features a controlled scent release through the day and night, like one of those scent things you plug into the wall. Only this “plugs” into your armpits! There is no doubt that I felt drier after a long day at the office and then dropping 3 pointers in my basketball league like they were a bad habit. Next up is the Swagger Body Wash, which when used will probably clean the dirtiest of guys by incorporating scent technology that lasts eight hours, which in most cases is an average workday. Refreshing lather drop-kicks dirt and odor, does a clothesline on them, and then slams them with a folding chair. Hydrating formula leaves your skin smooth, not tight or dry or on the curb crying in the rain.

You see, Old Spice has put together a great combination of quality and value that guys can appreciate, and quite frankly that’s why Old Spice has flourished over many decades and is growing faster than my backyard tomato plants. Last but not least is the Old Spice Swagger Body Spray which considerably raised my game with the wife as she commented on my new scent, and I feel like I received credit for something that took a few seconds to spray on but went a long way with my bride. There is also a travel size body wash and anti-perspirant in the Swagger gift pack that appear to be a bonus!

It’s no secret that Father’s Day is near, so take advantage and pick up the Old Spice Swagger Gift Set for your Dad or anyone out there who wants to be a Dad. Guys like to argue and trade jabs about our different teams or views, but when it comes to cleaning up, we’re all on the same team, and Old Spice is a part of that team as one can see in this hilarious video:


Product Review: Old Spice Fresh Collection

When braving the untamed wilderness of manhood there are many pitfalls and natural predators. The greatest of all? Your own body odor. The only thing worse than smelling bad is not knowing you smell bad. So for us guys who are too busy, unconcerned or stupid to realize it, Old Spice has your back (and underarms, and banus) thanks to the Old Spice Fresh Collection.

The Original Scent of Old Spice “High Endurance” body wash or deodorant has been a staple of many a man’s self-cleaning regiment for years. Mainly because of the great smell; for years chicks have been complementing me on my “cologne” and for years it’s been nothing but Old Spice deodorant, baby. And though Old Spice has been around for years, it isn’t just for your old man, man. Because it isn’t made for faceless/nameless guys who want to smell like a bar of soap. It’s for men whose identity screams “I know the Heimlich and can deliver a baby; and I did both before noon today, damn it!”

The collection of scents, comprised of some of the best odors on the planet, are “inspired by the freshest places on earth”. And though these places are uncommon and difficult to get to, Old Spice has made it easy (and cheap) to take the essence of these places and cram them into your nose holes. Five places from around the world are featured as both a body wash and a deodorant; Fiji, Matterhorn, Denali, Cyprus and Komodo.

Because I was a fan of the “High Endurance” line of the body wash and deodorant, my favorite was Matterhorn because it was like the original scent, except, just like the amplifiers for the band “Spinal Tap”, Matterhorn “goes up to eleven.” When you need that “little extra push over the cliff” both scent and feel were potent, but not “over the top.”

My least favorite scent in the Old Spice Fresh Collection was Komodo; it was just too subtle and didn’t deliver the strong punch to the nostrils that I enjoy. But that’s what Old Spice did right with all five of the aforementioned scents; if you want something a little more subtle than Matterhorn all five of the scents are easily distinguished and noticeably different, just like the men who use them.

Denali was my second favorite, marketed as smelling like “wilderness, open air and freedom.” Sure, it sounds ridiculous but is it any more ridiculous than a congressman with the last name of “Weiner” sending pictures of his unit to unsuspecting babes? If that can happen, then why can’t a deodorant/body wash actually smell like those things?

One more thing worth noting is the cost of any of the available scents. At $4.29 for a stick of deodorant or $3.99 for a bottle of body wash it’s cheaper than other leading brand names like Right Guard or Axe.

So “Axe” yourself a question; do you want to smell like a man, man? With Father’s Day right around the corner, pick up a bottle from the Old Spice Fresh Collection and watch your father inhale the initial scent and wistfully remember that time he slayed the local babes on the island of Cyprus. Your mom wasn’t his first.


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