Product Review: Clear Men Scalp Therapy

Have you ever killed a man? According to Ed O’Neil in “Wayne’s World,” “If you stab a man in the dead of winter, steam will rise up from the wounds. Indians believed it was his soul escaping from his body.” Whether you have or not, you’ll need something to get all that dried blood and gunk out of your hair afterwards.

Even if you aren’t sophisticated, you don’t have to smell that way too. So what if you are a single guy and a bag of knock-off Fruit Loops (Tootie Fruities) is all you’ve had for dinner the last two evenings, sans milk? Or if your house is absolutely littered with so many toys and pink clothes it looks like a five-year-old girl exploded? Or that, for some reason, an empty can of chicken you ate for dinner on Monday is still idling on the stovetop, less than three feet from the trash can?

The key is that no one needs to know the real you — they just have to be familiar with the nicely dressed, good smelling dude that appears when you exit the threshold of your house and show up for work.

That’s where the new Clear Men Scalp Therapy can aid your quest for a dandruff-free life, and add a certain level of sophistication you may be lacking. It’s a 2-in-1 anti-dandruff shampoo and conditioner that smells marvelous.

In fact, it smelled so good that when I first used it that I didn’t bother reading the packaging with important hints about what this product is or what it does; I just applied it to my body like a body wash. As I was using it I thought, “Does this make me cheap to use a shampoo as a body wash?” Little did I know that I was doing the exact inverse of that. And the answer is yes, I am cheap. I’m so cheap, I thought the website was an adult swingers site for two years and was even more aroused when I found out it helped me save money.

CMST contains 10 nutrients and botanical extracts including ginseng, tea tree and natural mint. Even if you knew nothing about extracts, you could tell just something was different about the shampoo because of the way it made you feel. Instead of feeling bogged down, or accumulating a soapy residue, I had a refreshing, energizing experience.

Not that it made any difference on the condition of my living room, kitchen or bathroom. Thanks to the Clear Men’s Scalp Therapy, I’m convinced the bathroom is the cleanest area of my house.

On this day, I didn’t kill a man. But I killed the shell of a boy masquerading as one. With a knife, just like Ray Lewis, and we both got away with it.

Want to make your scalp come to life? Check out the CMST Facebook page.


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Product Review: AXE SportBlast Shower Gel + Shampoo

The new 2-in-1 AXE product was very similar to my thoughts on marriage. At first, I was repulsed and completely uninterested. “How often do combinations of body wash and shampoo actually pull it off?” I thought. “That’s like the amount of guys who refer to their wife as their ‘best friend’ and actually mean it.”

Usually, 2-in-1 combos are either too gloppy due to being more body wash than shampoo, or too light because they are more shampoo than body wash. Based on past committed relationships with other body wash/shampoo combos, I was initially repulsed, just like I was about marriage.

So I went into the experience with an eye jaundiced by past experience. But if I was going to get through this review objectively, I had to put on my big boy pants and separate my past experiences from a future unknown. Once I did that, I realized that SportBlast wasn’t the problem — it was me.

The gel itself was very thick, so my initial expectation was that when it came time to either rinse it off my body or out of my hair, it was going to leave a nasty residue. Nothing is worse than taking a shower with a new soap product (Zest soap from the 1990s, I’m looking at you) and realizing after the shower is complete and you’ve moved on with your life that there is still some residue on you.

But AXE SportBlast was different. The gel was thick but it didn’t feel like it once I began applying it to my dirty, alcohol-addled body. Just like with the shampoo, the body wash rinsed off with minimal effort. My skin felt clean and there was no leftover residue.

Another thing I appreciated was the smell of the product; it was refreshing and crisp. Not only that, but the gel really felt like it exfoliated and opened up my skin. I really noticed this about an hour after showering; my skin felt open, clear and clean. The shampoo, for as thick as I feared it would be, left my hair feeling noticeably lighter and refreshed.

One more detail for all you frugal dudes; you basically recycle the shampoo from your head and that becomes your body wash, so a bottle of this stuff will last a long time. We all know you’ve been using your shampoo of choice as a body wash as well because you are broke after the divorce, but now, you can buy a product that is made for that, specifically.

While I will never get married again, I would definitely purchase and use AXE SportBlast again. If you’re as hesitant to drink the Kool-Aid regarding 2-in-1 products as I was, this will be a pleasant surprise — unlike that $10,000 invoice from your divorce attorney.

Get more info on the product here:


Product Review: Minus 417

I wasn’t very impressed with the products from Minus 417, which symbolized everything that’s wrong with a lot of supposed “high end” men’s skin care products that are on the market. Just because it contains a litany of exotic sounding ingredients and is high priced ($98.00 for the kit), it doesn’t mean it’s good.

Hyped as a product that was enriched with “dead-sea minerals” and “vitamin A, vitamin E, sweet-almond oil, carrot-seed oil and olive oil,” it quickly devolved into a cacophony of ingredients. The dizzying array of natural substances that comprised the line, from what I could tell, was all hype. I can’t tell the difference between a dead-Sea mineral and carrot-seed oil once it’s on my skin, but if it’s a moisturizer, make it refresh my skin and keep it moist for an extended period of time. If it’s a shaving cream, make it easy to apply to my skin, shave and rinse off my blade.

The first sample I used from the Body Care Kit for Men was the Mineral Shave Cream. I could tell from the moment I put it in my hand, just by the texture, that it wasn’t very good. I squeezed a large amount from the tube into my hand and rubbed them together, but when I did that, instead of having the product expand like most shaving creams, it gradually dissipated thanks to the friction in my hands. So, I squeezed out even more and did the same thing, this time applying some water, but it didn’t help either. After a third squeeze, I got enough out to apply on my face, but it immediately began to sting. Not only that, but it felt like I was putting lotion on my face rather than a shaving cream. It got to the point where I was literally glopping it on my face to cover the entire area.

I started dragging the razor across my face and it came up pretty easily; I didn’t have to go over the same area multiple times. But getting the cream out of my razor was a pain, and a thin layer of it coated my sink when I was done. It was not a pleasant experience.

After I washed my face, I applied the Active Moisturizer After Shave. In addition to the scent being completely overbearing, I could tell from the minute I applied it I would have to keep putting it on, over and over, because one application dries your skin out rather than moisturizing. After I put it on, my skin was dry and flakey, worse than if I hadn’t applied anything.

Finally, I used the Body & Hair Shampoo for Men. It was akin to the free shampoo you get from a hotel when you forget yours; it just wasn’t very good.

I was not impressed with any facet of the Minus 417 Body Care Kit for Men. It reminded me of a cheap substitute attempting to masquerade as a high end product. You can put a pig in a dress, but at the end of the day, it’s a pig wearing a dress.

Check out the company’s official website for more information.


Product Review: PERT Plus Classic Clean

For a long time I thought PERT Plus was just for old people. I still remember seeing the crusty old green bottle in the corner of my shower as a youth. Nothing about it said “cool” or “refreshing” — it was sort of an 80s standard that my dad used religiously, right next to his ceramic bottle of Old Spice.

While Old Spice has recently rejuvenated and repackaged itself to much acclaim, PERT Plus is also attempting a comeback, like Newt Gingrich. But unlike Newt, being repackaged and reintroduced to the public is going to be good for PERT Plus because it has substance and has been developed further than its original incarnation.

Even though 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner products now proliferate the market, PERT Plus was actually the first one to ever hit the market, back in 1987. As a result, the product has had to progress and distinguish itself. Classic Clean is one of six different available kinds of PERT Plus 2 in 1, which now has specialized versions for specific needs: Volumizing, Classic Clean for general use, Moisturizing, Invigorating and Anti-Dandruff. There is even a 3 in 1 product containing shampoo, conditioner and body wash.

I received my bottle of 2 in 1 PERT Plus Classic Clean and immediately popped the lid to take a whiff to see what kind of a scent I was dealing with. I remember the PERT of my youth having a heavy chemical smell that singed your nose hairs and burned your nostrils, and the experience of using it on your head was not dissimilar to the scent. But I was pleasantly surprised, because the scent of the new PERT Plus was fresh and pleasant. The scent itself actually smelled the way the color of the bottle looked — clean, crisp and breezy.

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AXE launches three new shampoos

AXE just keeps coming with new and exciting hair products for men and the three new products we tested are right on target! AXE Hair launched this new line of shampoos that provide sensorial experiences to transform guys’ moods and get them ready for whatever the world has to offer. The AXE heat Igniting Citrus 2 in 1 Sampoo and Conditioner has warming spices and a citrus aroma and looks like hot lava exiting the bottle which is really cool. I really liked the scent as it was clean and refreshing and my hair looked great!

The Axe Downpour Refreshing Mint Shampoo has a peppermint leaf extract that smells so damn good and left me feeling cool and comfortable and ready tackle the world. If you like anything mint this is the shampoo for you and if your significant other likes mint as well then look out. I also really liked the AXE Zen Smoothing Tea Tree Shampoo with real tea tree extract that had me all of sudden feeling calm and centered (hhhmmmm) so I could stay focused on the “finer” things in my life!

Let’s face it, Shampoo was boring for so long and our expections as men were very very low when we used to purchase shampoo! AXE Hair has been a leader in revolutionizing men’s shampoo for the masses at prices we can afford. Stay tuned as we’ll be on the lookout for new and “exciting” shampoos from our friends ar AXE!