Product Review: 800Razors.com

800RAZORS.COM LIVE BURN FREE

As I stood in Arrowhead Stadium — section 125, row 33 — rocking the #83 jersey of Raiders legend Ted Hendricks, the last thing on my mind was the shave I enjoyed that morning courtesy of a razor from 800razors.com.

There I was, getting my sexuality questioned by endless Chiefs fans, in front of endless Chiefs fans in an assault befitting of Kansas City’s league leading defense. But one thing that wasn’t getting questioned was the closeness of the shave delivered via the five-blade men’s razor from 800razors.com.

Paul-Eide-Raiders-Chiefs

Just like the Raiders, 800razors.com is anti-establishment. If the razor game were the AFC West, 800razors.com would be gunning for opposing pretty boy quarterbacks in Denver and San Diego. Sorry KC, outside of Joe Montana, you’ve never had one. From the company’s site:

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Bullz-Eye tackles Tough Mudder Lake Tahoe Degree DO:MORE Style!

Degree Men DO-MORE CORPS

There is no feeling on earth like sliding into the $125 robe in your room at the Ritz Carlton after spending six hours on the most difficult obstacle course in the world. Wait a minute, did someone say “Carlton”?  I thought they did.

The+Robe

This robe is the kind of robe Carlton would’ve rocked when he was on “Silver Spoons” with Ricky Schroeder. God, how I yearned to ride on that sweet in-house train, even just to go get the mail. Imagine me and the robe and the train. We’d run a train on the train; me, Carlton, the robe, Ricky… good times.

Sure, I thought about stealing the robe. Who wouldn’t? But the minute I stepped foot off the premises, the magic would’ve been gone, like when a young Moonlight Graham steps over the foul line in “Field of Dreams” to be irrevocable transformed into Doc, the kindly doctor who removes a piece of hot dog from Kevin Costner’s daughter’s airway to save her life.

Anyway, I left the robe, and about a pound of ball skin, on the mountain that day, and lived to tell the tale.

Keeping it REAL klassy on the mountain...

Keeping it REAL klassy on the mountain…

But you know what I didn’t leave on the mountain that day, friends? Sweat, or a stench of any kind. That’s because Degree had my back, not unlike the way Chuck Norris had Jonathan Brandis’ back in the movie “Sidekicks.”

Degree allows you to DO: MORE with three levels of protection.

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Product Review: HeadBlade All-Terrain Razor and Shave Cream

atx

I am not a smart man, Jenn-ay, but I know what love is.

I am not a bald man, but I know an effective head-shaving razor when I see one.

The All-Terrain Razor from HeadBlade is truly awesome, and not because it looks like a miniature ATV, complete with HeadBlade logo hood ornament.

It looks gimmicky at first, but the minute you insert your fingers and take it for a ride, you notice it was built for maximum efficiency and ease of use. Once you use it, you wonder why no one had ever thought of this before.

With your fingers in place, you gently pull the All-Terrain Razor (ATX) over the area you want to shave, leading with the wheels with the blade pulling behind. The ATX has a suspension system that adjusts to the pressure you apply and to the curvature of the area you’re shaving.

It may seem strange to be a 30-plus-year-old man shaving with a toy car, but you get over that feeling pretty quickly thanks to the effectiveness.

Even though the ATX is something you can use for hair on any part of your body, I felt that its true purpose was to shave the head of a man who maintains the “cue ball” look. So I enlisted the help of my neighbor Brian, a former marine who keeps his head smooth at all times.

When I handed him the ATX, he looked at me curiously. He flipped it around in his hand and said, “What am I supposed to do with this?” I explained the concept and showed him this video:

Two days later, Brian said it was the easiest head shave of his life. He only had to go over areas one time and he didn’t have to go slow to avoid cutting himself.

The wheels on the front of the ATX really take all the work out of it for you in terms of lining up the next area you want to shave, and makes it easier to avoid missing patches of hair. They also guide the blade over uneven areas, where a normal straight razor could potentially knick or scratch the area.

HeadSlick shave cream was the perfect complement to the ATX. For a shave cream with water as the most prominent ingredient, it exceeded my expectations for not only a smooth shave, but for how well it moisturized my skin. It had the consistency of a pre- or post-shave balm and functioned like a cooling strip on a razor.

The HeadBlade ATX is as effective as it is innovative. There is truly no other product like it on the market.

Check out HeadBlade at www.headblade.com

  

Product Review: HUE Pomade

HUE+Pomade

Did you know that pomade was developed in the 19th century and was originally made of bear fat? Into the 20th century, the most common ingredients featured lard, beeswax and petroleum jelly.

Pomade in its original form was as natural as any hair product in history. But as styles changed, so did the demands expected of pomade, which caused heavier, less natural incarnations to be developed.  

Royal Crown Hair Dressing and Murray’s Pomade are examples of pomade born out of this development and period in history. The effect of those products was the slick, greased back look popular in the 1950s and was heavily dependent on petroleum jelly, its main ingredient.

The word pomade is from the French word “pommade,” which means “ointment,” and derived from the Latin word “pomum,” which meant “apple.” The original recipe for pomade featured apples, which explains the consistency and feel that men have come to expect over time, though it has also become less organic.

The pomade from HUE is a return to the original style of pomade, because it has a natural feel and consistency.

In terms of texture, it felt more like cocoa butter than any regular pomade. This isn’t the kind of pomade with super-sticking holding power that will last for a week after one application. There is no silicone or petroleum in this product, which means it isn’t as stringent or hard as what we have come to expect from pomade.

The scent is also a return to form. While there isn’t much of a scent, what can be detected has a fruity, almost citrus smell.

When first applying HUE, I used only a dab, which is what I would use with a standard pomade. As a result, the holding power was limited. So when I applied more the next day, I doubled the amount and it gave me the hold I was looking for.

By the end of the day, my hair wasn’t  frozen in the same position it was roughly nine hours earlier. I could run my fingers through it at any point and it felt light and free.  

Since HUE is so light and malleable, it can be used by men with any type of hair (coarse, thin, thick, etc.) regardless of their ethnicity. With products, and in particular pomade, that are naturally derived, free of silicon and free of petroleum. Hue offers hair care options “for every man.”

Check out the pomade and full line of products from HUE at www.hueforeveryman.com

  

Product Review: Smooth Naturals Moisturizer

You’re 30 years old — you’re not seriously going to consider using Noxzema again, are you?

You’re a man now. And since you’re a man, your use of Noxzema should’ve gone the way of Teen Lines, Debbie Gibson and friendship bracelets… 20 years ago.

Don’t know what to use to moisturize that dried out piece of roast beef that looks like it’s seen the rise and fall of a million suns, AKA your face skin?  Well, dummy, it’s not hard to figure out. If my neighbor Bill can figure it out, that means you can too.

Bill is a man’s man. He operates a crane for a commercial construction company. Sometimes he has to sit in the crane for so long, hundreds of feet in the air, that he has to bring an empty bottle to piss in because once he’s up there, he’s fuckin up there. This is a man we’re talking about here, guys, not dudes like you or I — a fuckin MAN.

So, the other day, I’m leaning on my chain-link fence between our yards, talking to Bill and we’re smoking, and he says to me, “Paul, in less than a year I’m gonna be 60 years old. Can you believe that?”

I say to Bill, “Hell nah, man. I don’t believe you.”

Bill seriously looks 40, tops. You would never guess that shit.

“Oh yeah buddy, I could easily be your dad,” he says. “But that’s not my point. My point is this: you wanna age gracefully, you gotta use moisturizer. Paul, I wouldn’t shit you.”

“As you age, your body generates less and less of everything, but in this particular example, your face generates less and less oil, so your skin dries out faster and stays dry longer than when you are young.”

Bill casually put out his cigarette with two fingers and flicked it into the street.

“So, that means as you get older, you’ve got to start using moisturizer. A lotta guys don’t figure that out until it’s too late.”

“Whoa,” I said, flummoxed at all the new data entering my brain, synapses firing away. “I have been such a fool.”

With that, Bill hopped on his Harley and sped off into the crisp, clean, early Saturday night evening air.

The next day, I checked the mail and a small package arrived from Smooth Naturals. And guess what was in the package? MOISTURIZER.

The mentholated smell in said moisturizer from Smooth Naturals was outstanding, almost as good as a menthol cigarette at dawn. I didn’t know whether to smoke it or apply it to my face.

After I applied it to my skin, the tingly sensation of a billion tiny menthol fingers cascaded across my face and sent a chill down my spine.

I can only hope that when I’m 60, I look as good as Bill.

For more information, check out the Smooth Naturals Facebook page.