Product Review: Duke Cannon Soap, Hair Wash & Shave Cream

duke-cannon-soap

Duke Cannon’s Big Ass Brick of Soap is back with an even bigger ass than before. Now, Duke’s Cannon comes in five varieties instead of just one: Victory (Seagrass), Productivity (Mint), Accomplishment (Pepper), Naval Supremacy (Ocean) and Heavy Duty Hand Soap (Citrus).

Duke also brought his homies 2-in-1 Hair Wash and Superior Grade Shave Cream to get all up in your shit, AKA your man cleaning ritual.

For those unfamiliar, let’s run through Duke like fresh salsa verde.

Duke Cannon is a MAN, not a kid on MTV with a hairless chest and perfect abdominals. Duke Cannon earned his chest hair by doing hard man work over the years and there’s no damn way he’s going to be conned into being embarrassed that he has it.

But what about the soap? Is it any good, or is it a POS product that survives only off great marketing, like the pet rock, Crystal Pepsi or Kim Kardashian before it?

In an era where men’s body wash gels have taken over, Duke Cannon’s Big Ass Brick of Soap is truly that; it’s a big piece of soap that has a big “D” (imprinted on it, you perv) and weighs three-quarters of a pound. It is three times the size of other mainstream soaps on the market. As Steven Tyler crooned on the Aerosmith classic, “My Big Ten Inch,” he could’ve easily been referring to the big 10 ounces that comprise the girth of Duke’s Big Ass Brick.

As I removed one of the five product offerings from its sheath, I was assaulted by the fragrance of Accomplishment. But it was a good, enjoyable assault.

On the box, it claimed the scent was inspired by “Drinking a fine scotch in a wood-paneled den.” And by god, IT DID! It really smelled like that. Nice work, smell technicians.

My Special Lady commented on the scent multiple times over a period of three days. At first, she said it smelled “feminine.”

So to prove it wasn’t, we had sex. Day two came along and this time she said she “really liked it.” So, we had sex. On day three, we had sex and she asked me to always wear Duke Cannon and she would “Always love me.” I said, “Hell nah, biatch.” Sometimes (all the time), you gotta let the hen know who the rooster is.

Duke and I hit the shower after a long day at the orifice, Duke cleaned all my orifices in the most pleasing manners allowed by law.

The Big Ass Brick of Soap came to a frothy head soon after we entered the shower and I never felt even an ounce of guilt or regret about it. The froth itself was very thick and laid down a dense layer of awesome all over my body. When it was time to rinse, it washed right off (which can be atypical of several leading men’s soaps), but the awesome lingered long after and made me recall a time when men were men and weren’t ashamed of it either.

The next day I hit the shower again and doubled my pleasure by incorporating the 2-in-1 Hair Wash alongside the girth of Duke Cannon’s Big Ass Brick of Soap. Then I jumped out and shaved every hair on my body with the Superior Grade Shave Cream. Duke Cannon knows how to orchestrate a gang bang.

A portion of all the proceeds from the soap support veteran causes. The soap was also field tested by active duty US soldiers, so that explains why it’s so #Badass. The soap retails for just $6.99 a “unit,” while the shampoo retails for $9.99 and the Shave Cream for $7.99.

Check it out and buy some here for Christmas, wuss.

  

You can follow us on Twitter and Facebook for content updates. Also, sign up for our email list for weekly updates and check us out on Google+ as well.

Product Review: Mizzen + Main Dress Shirts

Mizzen+Main

As men in a civilized society, we are conditioned to behave in certain ways and maintain certain beliefs. One of these beliefs is that to own a quality dress shirt, we need to not only overpay for it, but we also need to overpay for its maintenance.

When I opened the package containing the dress shirt from Mizzen + Main, I did it on a Sunday night, intentionally, because every Monday morning I go to the dry cleaner. Surely a dress shirt straight out of the mail needs to be labored over for optimal performance.

Imagine my surprise when I read the associated document which indicated NO dry cleaning and ironing would ever be needed to maintain the look and feel of the shirt.

A quality dress shirt that looks good, feels great and doesn’t cripple your wallet? Excuse me while I laugh my face off.  I threw the shirt in the dryer for 15 minutes to freshen it up, and kept my expectations low, which is exactly how I’ve started numerous dates throughout the years.

Once I pulled the shirt out of the dryer, wrinkle free and feeling as though it had been pressed, I noticed it had a feel to it like no other dress shirt I’ve encountered. It felt stretchy, yet supple. Relaxed, yet ample and up to the task. Again, very similar to numerous dates I’ve “enjoyed.”

I pulled the shirt over my torso and was befuddled at how the shirt fit me so well, as I had casually requested a “large” sample. There were no previously exchanged measurements, or painstaking trips to the Men’s Warehouse to act like I was buying a dress shirt in order to acquire my exact dimensions. And yet, the shirt fit my torso perfectly, with perfect sleeve length to match. It even made my biceps look outstanding thanks to the superior fit.

In a lot of ways, the shirts from Mizzen + Main are like the anti-Brian Weeden, sometimes Cleveland Browns quarterback. Weeden has the makings of a top notch QB, possesses the measurables, looks good in practice, but when the lights come on and you throw him onto the field, he won’t perform optimally and will definitely wrinkle under the press of an opposing defense. That creates even more pressure for the rest of the offense, including running back Chris Ogbonnaya, who so far this season is on pace for a career year.

But Chris doesn’t fold, which is why Mizzen + Main has employed him as a celebrity spokesperson. And even if he did fold, you could just throw him in the dryer for 15 minutes, and he’d be crisp, clean and ready to roll, just like my shirt.

So how do they accomplish this? There are four specific reasons, working together in concert, similar to the way Ogbonnaya worked with his offensive line to score the game winning touchdown in week four (coincidence?) versus the arch-rival Cincinnati Bengals:

1) Moisture Wicking Fabric

Moisture is pulled away and evaporates, heat is pulled away from your body and cool air seeps through.

2) Superior Fit

The shirt fits right off the rack, guaranteed.

3) Four Way STRETCH

Mizzen + Main has devised a fabric that is smart as you are.

4) Low Maintenance

No ironing or dry cleaning. Machine wash, hang dry and you’re ready to roll in 16 minutes. Does Mizzen + Main make women? They should.

This is a dress shirt you never have to iron or take to the dry cleaner, and it will cost you roughly $50. Tradition. Evolved. Indeed.

For more information on quality dress shirts from Mizzen + Main, follow this link.

And for Chris Ogbonnaya’s career stats, click here.

  

Product Review: 800Razors.com

800RAZORS.COM LIVE BURN FREE

As I stood in Arrowhead Stadium — section 125, row 33 — rocking the #83 jersey of Raiders legend Ted Hendricks, the last thing on my mind was the shave I enjoyed that morning courtesy of a razor from 800razors.com.

There I was, getting my sexuality questioned by endless Chiefs fans, in front of endless Chiefs fans in an assault befitting of Kansas City’s league leading defense. But one thing that wasn’t getting questioned was the closeness of the shave delivered via the five-blade men’s razor from 800razors.com.

Paul-Eide-Raiders-Chiefs

Just like the Raiders, 800razors.com is anti-establishment. If the razor game were the AFC West, 800razors.com would be gunning for opposing pretty boy quarterbacks in Denver and San Diego. Sorry KC, outside of Joe Montana, you’ve never had one. From the company’s site:

“Gillette — the monopoly-like gorilla of the razor industry — burns people with their outrageous prices, while the internet razor guys with the funny video burn people by importing crappy razors from Asia and screwing Americans out of jobs. 800razors.com ensures people get the best razor for the best shave at the best price or it will provide a full refund via its Burn-Free Guarantee — no skin burn, wallet burn, or American job-loss burn.”

The concept is simple. You go to 800razors.com and select the razor of your choice (three blades or five) and the number of cartridges you want. You can place a one-time order, or sign up for a new delivery every two, three or four months.

Every new customer gets a free handle. And it isn’t some plastic, POS handle from God knows where; it’s made of metal, like Motorhead. It’s solid, like the one your dad would use.

And the insane amount of rubber grip on each one could well be from an abandoned tire. A tire that had to grow up rough, hard and on the streets, not knowing where its next meal would come from. A tire that probably grew up like this one:

Not only are the razors from 800razors.com cheap, but they are high quality and delivered directly to that double-wide you call “home,” Chiefs fan.

On that day in Kansas City, Chiefs fans had a lot to say, but I made it through, untouched and unscathed. Probably because of the reputation Raiders fans have earned for being armed with knives. Like this guy:

I wasn’t packing a blade, but if I were, it would’ve been a blade from 800razors.com.

When you look good, you feel good, and what feels better than a crisp black Raiders jersey, capped off with a clean close shave? As the kids say, “Hater gonna hate.”

Now, I have two favorite teams; whoever is playing the Chiefs and the team at 800razors.com.

  

Bullz-Eye tackles Tough Mudder Lake Tahoe Degree DO:MORE Style!

Degree Men DO-MORE CORPS

There is no feeling on earth like sliding into the $125 robe in your room at the Ritz Carlton after spending six hours on the most difficult obstacle course in the world. Wait a minute, did someone say “Carlton”?  I thought they did.

The+Robe

This robe is the kind of robe Carlton would’ve rocked when he was on “Silver Spoons” with Ricky Schroeder. God, how I yearned to ride on that sweet in-house train, even just to go get the mail. Imagine me and the robe and the train. We’d run a train on the train; me, Carlton, the robe, Ricky… good times.

Sure, I thought about stealing the robe. Who wouldn’t? But the minute I stepped foot off the premises, the magic would’ve been gone, like when a young Moonlight Graham steps over the foul line in “Field of Dreams” to be irrevocable transformed into Doc, the kindly doctor who removes a piece of hot dog from Kevin Costner’s daughter’s airway to save her life.

Anyway, I left the robe, and about a pound of ball skin, on the mountain that day, and lived to tell the tale.

Keeping it REAL klassy on the mountain...

Keeping it REAL klassy on the mountain…

But you know what I didn’t leave on the mountain that day, friends? Sweat, or a stench of any kind. That’s because Degree had my back, not unlike the way Chuck Norris had Jonathan Brandis’ back in the movie “Sidekicks.”

Degree allows you to DO: MORE with three levels of protection.

Read the rest of this entry »

  

Product Review: HeadBlade All-Terrain Razor and Shave Cream

atx

I am not a smart man, Jenn-ay, but I know what love is.

I am not a bald man, but I know an effective head-shaving razor when I see one.

The All-Terrain Razor from HeadBlade is truly awesome, and not because it looks like a miniature ATV, complete with HeadBlade logo hood ornament.

It looks gimmicky at first, but the minute you insert your fingers and take it for a ride, you notice it was built for maximum efficiency and ease of use. Once you use it, you wonder why no one had ever thought of this before.

With your fingers in place, you gently pull the All-Terrain Razor (ATX) over the area you want to shave, leading with the wheels with the blade pulling behind. The ATX has a suspension system that adjusts to the pressure you apply and to the curvature of the area you’re shaving.

It may seem strange to be a 30-plus-year-old man shaving with a toy car, but you get over that feeling pretty quickly thanks to the effectiveness.

Even though the ATX is something you can use for hair on any part of your body, I felt that its true purpose was to shave the head of a man who maintains the “cue ball” look. So I enlisted the help of my neighbor Brian, a former marine who keeps his head smooth at all times.

When I handed him the ATX, he looked at me curiously. He flipped it around in his hand and said, “What am I supposed to do with this?” I explained the concept and showed him this video:

Two days later, Brian said it was the easiest head shave of his life. He only had to go over areas one time and he didn’t have to go slow to avoid cutting himself.

The wheels on the front of the ATX really take all the work out of it for you in terms of lining up the next area you want to shave, and makes it easier to avoid missing patches of hair. They also guide the blade over uneven areas, where a normal straight razor could potentially knick or scratch the area.

HeadSlick shave cream was the perfect complement to the ATX. For a shave cream with water as the most prominent ingredient, it exceeded my expectations for not only a smooth shave, but for how well it moisturized my skin. It had the consistency of a pre- or post-shave balm and functioned like a cooling strip on a razor.

The HeadBlade ATX is as effective as it is innovative. There is truly no other product like it on the market.

Check out HeadBlade at www.headblade.com

  

Related Posts