Product Review: Dove Men+Care Expert Shave Range

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My first thought when I received the new Dove Men+Care Expert Shave Range was, “What, now Dove wants me to believe that it has a legitimate premium shave product offering?”

But after using it extensively, the Dove brand has done a fantastic job and delivered a high-end shaving experience that I truly did not expect.

The Expert Shave Range consists of three steps — Pre-Shave, Shave and Post-Shave — and consists of five products. You can use them individually, but to get the most out of your shave, you’ll want to use each piece available in concert, just like Voltron.

Pre-Shave

Exfoliating Pre-Shave Scrub ($21.99) – What I liked the most was that even though my skin was being exfoliated and my skin was being prepped for a shave, it never felt dried out or flaky. The scrub hydrates as it cleanses. I used it in non-shaveable areas like my forehead and behind my ears and it was equally effective.

Softening Pre-Shave Oil ($21.99) – Now that your skin has effectively had it’s top ripped off, the last thing you want to do is drag a stiff, cold razor across it, which is an absolute recipe for irritation. The pre-shave oil felt great and worked quickly; you can see the results in the mirror immediately. You don’t need a ton of it and it has a non-invasive, classic scent that smells great.

Shave

Dove gives you two choices for shaving cream.

Smoothing Shave Cream ($21.99) – This cream was the lighter of the two and had a silky smooth, ribbon-like texture. Ideal for a quick shave, or post-workout at the gym.

Total Comfort Shave Cream ($25.99) – Total Comfort was thick and rich with a whipped cream consistency. When you pay for premium shaving products, this is what you expect. It is a literal cream in every sense of the word.

Post Shave

Post-Shave Repair Balm ($25.99) – One thing I absolutely hate is a post-shave product touted as a moisturizer that actually dries your skin out because it has either too much alcohol, menthol or water. You put some on and 20 minutes later your skin has dry patches and you feel about as lubricated as the Tin Man.

My skin felt fantastic every time I shaved with these products. The Dove Expert Shave Range has been carefully formulated to address all aspects a man encounters before, during and after a shave, and you can really feel it.

If you’ve never used a high-end multi-faceted shaving system, the Dove Men+Care Expert Shave Range is the perfect entry level product for a man most familiar with lower cost gels found at the drugstore.

Shaving is a ritual that should be enjoyed, not sped through on the way to the next life event. And now, Dove has given you the tools to enjoy it.

For more information, check out Dove Men+Care on Twitter and on Facebook. Feel free to use the hashtag #ExpertShave liberally, as you would with any of the Dove products.

  

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Product Review: Brut Black Ice and Blue Wave Deodorant

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Et tu, Brute?”

Who among us hasn’t been “betrayed” by our deodorant? Do we hold it accountable, or do we just live with it and blame ourselves?

In their quest for the perfect men’s deodorant, Brut really cranked the weirdness meter up to 11, as evidenced by the groundbreaking technique shown below:

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The result? The most superior men’s deodorants ever created, embodied in two separate scents: Black Ice and Blue Wave.

I tried both and found them to be distinctly different. While both scents are subtle to your nostrils, Black Ice is a stronger scent, a little more forceful.

Blue Wave was barely even detectable, but it provided a crisp, fresh scent that lived up to the name Blue Wave, which made me think of the chick-centric surfing movie, Blue Crush.

Blue Wave is like Kate Bosworth’s character, Anne Marie. Free flowing and effective, but unsure about pursuing her dream of becoming a professional surfer over a pending relationship with NFL quarterback Matt Tollman in town for the Pro Bowl in Hawaii during the offseason.

Black Ice is the hardcore Eden, played by uber-babe Michelle Rodriguez. It’s rugged, rough and uncompromising, but still super hot and appealing in a completely different way.

What’s significant about the new offerings from Brut? For the first time in nearly a decade, the classic men’s grooming brand has introduced these two new crisp, clean and masculine scents, offering a modern take on a timeless tradition.

Skewered by friends and other players wives for receiving the “Matt Tollman Makeover,” Anne Marie relents on her quest to slay him for her own, the way we at times are overpowered by dominating body odor. Aside from the smell, both deodorants are designed to fight back against and prevent wetness for 24 hours at a time thanks to the special Trimax Triple Action Formula.

As far as makeovers go, Brut has also undergone one. The entire men’s grooming line, from cologne to aftershave balm, has also received a new look for 2014, with a sports-inspired logo that “reflects the key attributes of the BRUT man: strong, confident and powerful.”

When I see those three words strung together, I immediately visualize legendary all-male crooner Tom Jones, purveyor of a Monster Hammer.

Back then, his musk was surely enough to sway many a babe to partake in the endless waves of his sensual delights. Note how smoothly and coyly he gets kisses from two sisters sitting in the front row.

Look at this one; he doesn’t even ask, but demands a kiss and gets one.

But in 2014, it’s a different ball of wax. If you want to hang ten with a discerning babe and receive kisses on demand, some men’s grooming is necessary. And at the bare minimum, you don’t want to be emitting a strong odor of B.O.

To be a man like Tom Jones, the 2014 version, lather your pits in the new deodorant from Brut, which costs just around $3 each.

For more information, check out the Brut website here. You can also give Brut a shout-out via social media by using the hashtag #LetYourManOut.

  

Product Review: Vaseline Men Spray Lotion

The new Vaseline Men Spray Lotion came to me in a time of need. My skin was drier than the driest Norm McDonald joke. So dry, in fact, that had my friends known, my new name would’ve been “Ashley” rather than Paul because I was so ashy.

Sure, the combination of Vaseline with a spray-on lotion lends itself perfectly to a masturbation joke. But guys, I’m not going to tug your chain — this stuff works.

Vaseline Men Spray Lotion is available in two formulas: Fast Absorbing and Fast Cooling.

Spray-on lotion may sound like a gimmick, but it’s actually really useful for certain troublesome areas. For me, one such area is the top middle of my back.

I’ve gotten used to glopping an excessive amount of lotion on my hand and sort of waywardly slapping it back there, usually with mixed results.

But the continuous “spray-ability” of Vaseline Men Spray Lotion allowed me to zero in on an area I couldn’t have otherwise reached. No, not that area, sir. I can reach there just fine, thank you.

The continuous spray feature, which is akin (or should I say “a skin” #ZING) in functionality to Old Spice Refresh Body Spray, means that not only are areas covered, but they are covered evenly.

Vaseline Men Spray Lotion absorbed into my skin faster than any lotion I have ever used. And there wasn’t a slimy residue that made my clothes stick to the area I covered; at least not from the spray lotion, anyway.

Also, there was no perfume-laden aroma or scent to assault your nostrils. There was a hint of something, a certain “Je ne sais quoi,” but it was masculine and invigorating. It certainly didn’t smell like Vaseline. Or, sex covered in Vaseline.

Speaking of sex, Vaseline Men Spray Lotion came to be thanks to the union of three special elements:

1) The container that Vaseline Men Spray Lotion comes in has this cool thing called a “twist-lock actuator” that essentially allows the spray apparatus to either be engaged or disengaged to prevent spills.

2) The internal structure of the container utilizes “bag-on-valve technology.” #ThatsHOT

3) Vaseline Men Spray Lotion uses the perfect balance of “humectants” and “occlusives” to make sure the lotion isn’t sticky and effectively moisturizes.

So, leave your Brand X cocoa butter from Wal-Mart on the shelf and keep the safety engaged on your “spray apparatus.”

For more information on the new Vaseline Men Spray Lotion, follow this link to the website. Or you can always #SprayItForward via the Vaseline Facebook page or Vaseline Twitter account.

  

Product Review: Schick Hydro 5 Sensitive Collection

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The Schick Hydro 5 Sensitive Collection had all the sensitivity of a toddler petting a kitten on a pillow with a rainbow in the background, while listening to Richard Marx’s hit power ballad, “Hold Onto the Nights.”

As a dude, shaving your chin is a delicate, sensitive process. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve nicked myself in that particular area based solely on excessive speed and a lack of tenderness.

Luckily, the Schick Hydro 5 Sensitive is here to save us from ourselves. The Ultra Glide Blades are equipped with Skin Guards (that would be a sweet band name) that smooth the surface of the skin while you shave. In the 20-plus shaves I used the product, it didn’t happen once. And I sped through my shaves like a young Apollo Ohno.

Since we’re being sensitive, I have a confession to make. Thanks to investing in high priced, high-end shaving creams (not to be confused with the Tribe Called Quest classic, “The Low End Theory”) over the years, I’ve tended to look upon Edge products with a jaundiced eye.

I mean, look at the people Edge hangs out with — Wal-Mart, Target and almost any other national retail chain. Edge will pretty much align itself with anyone that will have it, and those whoreish tendencies have never been lost on me.

But, as with the case of many whores, there is also something that attracts you in the first place, no matter how many strange beds she’s laid in.

Thanks to this review, Edge and I reconvened, and after a few go-arounds with the Sensitive Pro Relief Shave Gel, I have to say that it was pleasurable.

The combination of Edge Sensitive Pro Relief Shave Gel with the Schick Hydro 5 Sensitive was the most formidable pairing of sensitive elements since K-Ci & Jo-Jo teamed up for their 1997 #1 hit, “All My Life.”

Speaking of K-Ci, he exposed himself at a concert in 2001 and was charged with lewd conduct. The New Schick Hydro 5 Groomer exposes itself too, but it’s a good kind of exposure.

The Hydro 5 Groomer, as well as the Schick Hydro 5 Sensitive razor, features a flip trimmer that “exposes” all five blades, which allows you to reach tight spaces with ease. Ahem.

So, who’s ready for a cigarette? Grab my pack of Winstons from off the bureau while I set the mood with the Color Me Badd classic, “I Wanna Sex You Up.”

The Hydro 5 Groomer is half-razor, half-power trimmer, which makes it the Centaur of shaving. It has the classic “man part” elements that you expect of a razor on top (five blades, aloe gel reservoir) mixed with the horse legs (the edger and flip trimmer) on the bottom.

Unless you’re afraid to get a little bit sensitive, check out the Schick Hydro 5 Groomer and Schick Hydro 5 Sensitive at schickhydro.com and Edge Sensitive Pro Relief Shave Gel at edgeshave.com.

  

Product Review: RumbaTime Bowery Watch Collection

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It’s “time” to get a watch, playa. Rich people wear watches. If you’re trying to get your paper right, get a badass watch and show some fools “what time it is.”

A new survey from Spectrem Group’s Millionaire Corner shows most wealthy investors wear wristwatches (67 percent), with the percentage of wearers increasing with wealth. Which is why you should consider a new time piece from RumbaTime’s Bowery watch collection.

The collection was inspired by RumbaTime owner Drew Deters’ trip to Japan and the natural elements of bamboo and earth tones that pepper the landscape and culture.

At first, I wasn’t crazy about the neutral color options the Bowery Collection was available in. But the Army Green band with leather accents grew on me and actually helped me figure out how to diversify my wardrobe around the watch. The watch made me want to wear brown shoes and earth tones so I could wear it.

After wearing my RumbaTime Bowery watch for a couple of weeks, I found myself mixing blacks and browns like some type of faux-hipster, indifferent to consequence. Because the watch looked and felt so cool, I had to wear it.

My favorite part about the watch was the face. The face plate is a crisp white that pops and accents both the hands of the watch and the green line indices that denote the hours.

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There is a high definition feel to the way the face looks; I have caught myself glancing at my watch because it looks so cool, not because I didn’t know what time it was. Both the arms and the indices have luminescent hands. That may sound like some slick marketing, but I’ve never had a watch that looked as clean and clear as this one.

Speaking of clean, the watch is encased in a 40mm x 48mm stainless steel case and stainless steel back and has water resistance of up to 330 feet. It also glows in the dark.

The watch band is made of heavy duty canvas and the watch itself is weighted perfectly; it isn’t so heavy that you are consciously aware of it at all times, but it definitely makes you want to gesture more frequently with your watch hand, because of sheer coolness. The band measures in at 270mm long and 20mm wide, and feels so good, it isn’t the kind of watch that you purchase and then replace the band immediately.

Not only does a watch from RumbaTime serve as the perfect complement to your already dazzling wardrobe, hair and girlfriend, it accentuates your eye for detail and feels great. Each watch in the Bowery Collection retails for $95.00 and comes with a one-year warranty.

Visit the RumbaTime website for more information or to place an order. Visit the RumbaTime Facebook page for more information on the brand.

  

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