This week’s Hidden Netflix Gem: “Bernie” (2011)

When you live in a small town, everybody knows everyone else. They know what you’re like, who your parents were, what you do for a living, whether or not you go to church, and probably a few too many “dirty little secrets” that they use to gossip behind your back. For Bernie Tiede of Carthage, Texas, small town life led to some speculation over whether his effeminate personality indicated he was gay. But it also meant that everybody knew him as the kindest, warmest, friendliest and most generous man they knew. Nobody was more well liked than Bernie.

Then he killed Marjorie Nugent. And despite the logic of that fact, while Bernie Tiede’s life changed, public opinion didn’t.

That’s the stranger than fiction basis of Richard Linklater’s 2011 film “Bernie,” which stars Jack Black in the title role. He’s a 39-year-old assistant funeral director loved by one and all. Kind-hearted soul that he was, he always delivered a gift and checked up on those the deceased left behind. Nobody made him do it, he wasn’t getting paid, he just cared. That habit leads to his befriending 81-year-old millionaire widow Marjorie Nugent, who’s portrayed by Academy Award winner Shirely MacLaine.

Contrary to Bernie, nobody much cares for Mrs. Nugent. Even her own family hates her—she hasn’t spoken to two of her grandchildren in years after they sued her in an effort to get some of her husband’s money. She’s mean, nasty, and entirely lonely, but unwilling to bridge the gap of emotional connection. Until Bernie knocks on her door. Soon they’re eating meals and going on expensive vacations together. Eventually, Tiede even became the sole benefactor of Nugent’s will. She became controlling and jealous. Tiede was on call 24 hours a day, more a servant than a friend, but unable to walk away due to his inherent goodness (not to mention all the money being thrown his way). It was a clash of personalities, and Nugent’s hate beat out Tiede’s love. In a moment of weakness, Tiede snapped and shot Nugent in the back four times.

On paper, it was an open and shut case for Danny Buck Davidson (Matthew McConaughey), the county’s district attorney. A young gay man had gotten wrapped up in the luxurious lifestyle that friendship offered a rich older woman. He was already getting a handsome amount of money, but stood to be the sole benefactor if she was out of the picture. So he killed her, end of story.

Only it wasn’t. Despite the facts, despite Tiede’s confession, the people of Carthage refused to believe their Bernie could have done such an awful thing. Those who would admit it would indicate the old bat had it coming to her. Believing he’d be unable to get a fair decision out a jury made up of people from Carthage, Davidson asked for a change of venue for the trial—a common request of defense lawyers, but a rare occurrence for a prosecutor.

In “Bernie,” Linklater takes the “small town folks who won’t believe the facts” idea and milks it for every bit of comedic and dramatic juice it’s worth. And it works, the film has a 92 percent rating on the Tomatometer. Linklater’s co-writer was Skip Hollandsworth, whose 1998 Texas Monthly article “Midnight in the Garden of East Texas” was the basis for the film.

“Bernie” uses a mockumentary style to give it that small town gossip feel. It often cuts to interviews with fictional East Texas residents (portrayed by real East Texas residents), who weigh in on its events. The question of whether they were genuine accounts was on my mind until McConaughey appeared on screen.

The film offers one of Black’s best performances to date. Perhaps the only role that could could compete came in 2003′s “School of Rock,” another Linklater project that allowed Black to mix in his quirk and musical talents. The actor makes you believe Bernie Tiede is someone who really could (and did) exist. He’s got funny characteristics, finds subtle humor in effeminate movement and body language, but never delves into the realm of the cartoonish. You understand why Bernie might’ve picked up that rifle, you might even approve (as the people of Carthage seem to).

Enjoyable and easy to watch, “Bernie” is a black comedy that mixes just the right amount of both ingredients. It seems to mock the eccentric Southern personalities it contains in a fashion that is loving rather than cruel while implying greater questions about the dangers of faith trumping fact.

Check out the trailer below and follow the writer on Twitter @NateKreichman. 

If you’ve never been down to Austin, Texas for South by Southwest (whether it’s for the music and film festivals or the interactive conference), it’s something that you need to experience at least once, because the city exudes a vibrant and welcoming energy that makes it very hard not to have a good time. This year marked my third consecutive trip to the SXSW film festival, and though my virgin voyage was a bit of a baptism by fire, I was practically oozing the confidence of a grizzled veteran this time around. I knew exactly what to pack, how to plan and what to expect when I got there.

At least, that’s what I thought, but Mother Nature has a funny way of messing up your plans. From airline-wide delays that had me sprinting across Dallas-Fort Worth airport to catch connecting flights, to the miserable weather that I was greeted with when I arrived, it wasn’t exactly the greatest start to my trip. Apart from the almost non-stop rainstorms that put a damper on the opening weekend festivities, the only thing that could have made it any worse was if the movies I had chosen to see weren’t very good. And sure as the rain continued to fall (from Thursday night to Sunday afternoon, with hardly a break in between), there were more duds than normal at this year’s event.

It’s not that I expected to love every movie that I saw at the festival (you’d have better luck winning the lottery), but some of them – including star-studded comedies like “Nature Calls,” “Frankie Goes Boom” and “Small Apartments” – were so terrible that even a direct-to-DVD release would be more than they deserve. “Nature Calls,” in particular, is so egregious that I almost left before the first act was even over, and I’ve never walked out of a movie in my life.

Fortunately, I was able to catch a number of really good films as well. In addition to the long-delayed horror comedy “The Cabin in the Woods” and director William Friedkin’s controversial crime thriller “Killer Joe,” there were three movies that I enjoyed so much that they’ll likely end up on my Top 10 list by year’s end. Below are highlights from my reviews of those films:

1. “Sleepwalk with Me”

Most stand-up comics probably only dream about making a movie as funny and honest as Mike Birbiglia’s “Sleepwalk with Me,” let alone one that marks their directorial debut. Reminiscent of Woody Allen’s films in a lot of ways… if you weren’t a fan of Birbiglia beforehand, you will be afterwards.

2. “Safety Not Guaranteed”

A character-driven dramedy with equal parts humor and heart, “Safety Not Guaranteed” is a beautiful film about the human spirit that is impossible to ignore. [It’s] original, humorous, heartfelt and, perhaps most importantly, filled with immense hope.

3. “The Raid: Redemption”

“The Raid” is an unrelenting, action-packed can of whoop-ass that delivers one of the most crowd-pleasing moviegoing experiences of the past decade. This is about as close to non-stop, wall-to-wall action that I’ve ever seen… including what is easily some of the best close-quarters combat ever committed to film.

The week got better as the weather improved, and although I didn’t carve out nearly as much free time to explore the city as I had originally planned, I did happen to stumble upon a cool sports park operated by Nike in support of their new FuelBand, a USB fitness bracelet that tracks your activity throughout the day. Taking up nearly an entire block, the park featured a basketball court, a miniature skate park, and a turf soccer field that allowed me to blow off a little steam in between screenings. I even spoke with one of Nike’s on-hand representatives about the new FuelBand, and was so impressed by the short demonstration that I contacted the company about getting one of the in-demand devices to review for Bullz-Eye.

It was nice to get out and kick the soccer ball around for a while, but it was one of just many small thrills during my trip. I also had the pleasures of meeting director Bobcat Goldthwait (who was at the festival with his new film “God Bless America”) during a random encounter at local hangout The Highball; I had the chance to interview Matthew McConaughey, Gina Gershon and Jamie Chung, among others; and I enjoyed the many delicacies that Austin has to offer, including personal favorites like Freebirds (think Chipotle but better), sandwich chain Schlotzsky’s, and of course, the delicious $5 milkshakes at the Alamo Drafthouse. My trip may have had some hiccups along the way, but as has always been the case with SXSW, the one-two punch of some great movies and that inescapable Austin charm made it yet another festival to remember.

“Nature Calls”

I never got the chance to see director Todd Rohal’s “The Catechism Cataclysm” when it played at SXSW last year, but after watching his new comedy “Nature Calls,” I’m kind of glad that I didn’t. The film stars Patton Oswalt as Randy, an assistant scoutmaster desperately trying to help his father’s deteriorating Boy Scout troop regain its former glory. When the few remaining members ditch their upcoming camping trip in favor of going to a sleepover for the adopted son of Randy’s brother, Kirk (Johnny Knoxville), however, he crashes the party and convinces the kids to go camping with him. What follows is an incredible mess of a movie that tries to pass juvenile stupidity off as comedy, but instead barely registers a laugh due to Knoxville and Rob Riggle’s annoyingly over-the-top performances as idiot man-children. There’s actually a good message straining to be heard amongst all the stupidity, but despite its attempt at balancing vulgarity with heart, “Nature Calls” fails on nearly every level imaginable. It’s a shame that this will go down as Patrice O’Neal’s final film performance, because although it got a good reception from the SXSW crowd, this would never make it onto a theater screen through more conventional means.

“Safety Not Guaranteed”

Colin Trevorrow’s feature film debut is exactly the kind of movie that you go to a film festival hoping to see. Based on a real-life classified ad that was posted by a man seeking a partner to go back in time with, the movie stars Audrey Plaza, Jake Johnson and Karan Soni as a trio of Seattle magazine employees who track down the mystery author hoping it will lead them to a good story. What they don’t realize is that although Kenneth (indie go-to guy Mark Duplass) may be a little eccentric, he honestly believes that he’s solved the riddle to time travel. A character-driven dramedy with equal parts humor and heart, “Safety Not Guaranteed” is a beautiful film about the human spirit that is impossible to ignore. All four actors deliver some incredibly honest and funny performances, but it’s Plaza who shows that she can do a lot more than spit out a witty one-liner and mug for the camera. “Safety Not Guaranteed” is original, humorous, heartfelt and, perhaps most importantly, filled with immense hope. And in a cinematic landscape fueled by cynicism, it’s nice to see a movie that hasn’t given up on the human race, no matter how strange we may be.

“Killer Joe”

William Friedkin hasn’t made a great film in a very long time, and while “Killer Joe” doesn’t exactly remedy that, it’s the best movie that he’s made in a while. Adapted by Tracy Letts from his stage play of the same name, the self-described “totally twisted, deep-fried, Texas redneck trailer park murder story” is one of the most intense and polarizing moviegoing experiences in recent memory. Matthew McConaughey stars as the title character, a Dallas police detective who moonlights as a contract killer. When he’s hired by a young man (Emile Hirsch) in debt to a crime lord to kill his mother and collect on her $50,000 life insurance, Joe takes his younger sister Dottie (Juno Temple) as collateral until he’s paid for his services. But as is usually the case with movies like this, things go horribly wrong, and although the events that transpire will likely divide audiences (particularly a tension-packed final act that gets a bit weird and perverse), it’s as oddly fascinating to watch unravel as it is repulsive. Every single performance is great – from Gina Gerson’s devious stepmom to Thomas Hayden Church’s clueless father – but it’s McConaughey who truly commands the screen with his best role in ages. It’s about time the actor showed off his full potential, and this white trash “Blood Simple” does that and more.

If you’ve paid any attention whatsoever to the entertainment news coming out of Hollywood in the past few weeks, then you can’t help but be aware of Charlie Sheen’s increasingly strange shenanigans and how they’ve directly affected the rest of the cast and crew of CBS’s long-running and ridiculously-successful sitcom, “Two and a Half Men.” Who would’ve thought that the infamous hotel incident in October 2010 would’ve proven to be one of the lesser moments on the actor’s ever-lengthening list of embarrassing incidents?

Now, after making the decision to bypass traditional rehab in favor of curing his drug and alcohol issues with his mind, Sheen has been running off at the mouth so much that CBS has pulled the plug and decided to call off the remainder of the episodes that had been planned for this season.

But what of next season? More importantly, given all of the nasty remarks that Sheen’s made toward series creator Chuck Lorre, will there even be a next season?

We know that CBS, Warner Brothers Television, and Lorre have ostensibly ruled out continuing “Two and a Half Men” without Sheen, but if we’re to be honest, it seems like the better tactic would be for the whole lot of them to say, “Hey, Charlie, read our lips: one monkey don’t stop no show,” then find a new man to join Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones and keep the title intact. We know things are kind of crazy over there at the moment, though, so we thought we’d at least try to help them a bit with the casting process.

Sure, they say they won’t continue without Charlie…but, then, they haven’t seen our suggestions yet.

First, let’s get the jokes out of our system, shall we? Yes, we chuckled at the thought of having Martin Sheen step into his son’s shoes, and we also had a laugh over the idea of Emilio Estevez taking over, since, really, what else has he got going on? We considered the possibility of Michael J. Fox getting a little bit of “Spin City” payback by having him replace Charlie, and at one point we also said, “Hey, how about Randy Quaid? If anyone can make Charlie Sheen look like the sane one…”

The following folks, however, are men that we think really would help keep “Two and a Half Men” on the air without having the number of laughs per minute fall below acceptable levels.

Woody Harrelson

Why he’d be a perfect fit: Harrelson got his first big break in television, thanks to playing dim-bulb bartender Woody Boyd on “Cheers,” but even though he eased into a perfectly reasonable feature-film career during the late ’90s, he wasn’t afraid to step back onto the small screen for a recurring role (seven episodes) on “Will & Grace” in 2001. These days, Harrelson’s mostly been pulling supporting-role parts, and although “Zombieland” was a pleasant exception, we can still see him accepting another sitcom gig, especially since the reality of the situation is that he’d pick up a decent chunk of change for a job that A) would be relatively short-term, and B) he could pretty much do in his sleep.

Jamie Kennedy

Why he’d be a perfect fit: Although your personal mileage may vary on his effectiveness, mainstream America has embraced Kennedy’s comedy on several occasions over the past decade. Between his self-titled “Experiment” running for three seasons on The WB and the continued cult success of his films “Malibu’s Most Wanted” and “Kickin’ It Old School” on DVD, he definitely qualifies as a proven comedic commodity for the “Two and a Half Men” crowd. Plus, he’s got at least a little bit of sitcom street cred behind the scenes as well, having co-created and written for The WB’s “Living with Fran,” Fran Drescher’s short-lived post-”Nanny” series. Most importantly, though, Kennedy secured honest dramatic work from 2008 to 2010 as part of the “Ghost Whisperer” cast, which means that he has a recent history as a member of the CBS family.

D.B. Sweeney

Why he’d be a perfect fit: Well, for one thing, we’d be willing to bet that most guys still think first and foremost of Sweeney for the work he did alongside the man he’d be replacing, in “Eight Men Out.” The ladies, however, tend to think of him…and still swoon over him…in conjunction with a different sport: hockey. Indeed, I am assured that any woman whose heart doesn’t go pitter-pat at the mere thought of “The Cutting Edge” should officially consider themselves to be a disgrace to their gender. Sweeney’s never really gotten a fair shake on television – none of the shows on which he’s been a full-fledged regular (“Strange Luck,” “C-16: FBI,” “Harsh Realm,” and “Life as We Know It”) have survived beyond their first season – but given that he’s capable of playing the bad boy and getting both girls and laughs, he strikes us as a highly viable candidate.

Seann William Scott

Why he’d be a perfect fit: Do we really need to spell it out for you? Scott may not be thrilled that he’s gotten more than a little bit typecast as his “American Pie” character, but a Stifler-esque type is exactly what “Two and a Half Men” needs to fill the vacuum that would be left by Charlie Sheen’s departure. Given Scott’s decreasing returns on the big screen in recent years, we’re a little surprised he hasn’t shown up in a sitcom yet, anyway, but this would be a perfect opportunity to revive his declining star power by playing up the comedic attributes that made him hot in the first place.

Matthew McConaughey

Why he’d be a perfect fit: What, you mean besides the fact that the female demos for “Two and a Half Men” would shoot into the stratosphere? I don’t think anyone will deny that McConaughey is still a proven box-office draw when he’s playing against an equally pretty leading lady in a vapid romantic comedy, but the last time he tried to step outside that mold, we got “Surfer, Dude,” a film which might as well have gone straight to video, given how few theaters cared enough to screen it. Not that the movie jobs aren’t continuing to roll in, anyway, but we know how badly McConaughey wants to make “The Grackle,” a film which he describes variously as “the funniest script I’ve ever, ever read,” “a game-breaker,” and “a rule-changing role and movie.” Taking a high-profile sitcom gig would help raise his stock in Hollywood and might well put him in the position to finally make “The Grackle” come to fruition.

John C. McGinley

Why he’d be a perfect fit: Although McGinley might not immediately come to mind when considering someone to step into Sheen’s shoes, the actors have actually shared the screen before, albeit in a slightly more dramatic capacity. (After all those years of seeing him as Dr. Cox, you’re forgiven if you’d forgotten that McGinley was in both “Platoon” and “Wall Street.”) Admittedly, we wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t interested in taking on another sitcom gig so soon after wrapping “Scrubs,” especially if he has any desire whatsoever to make a significant play for more feature-film work, but he was so darned good at berating Zach Braff that we’d be lying if we didn’t admit to being kind of excited at the thought of pitting him against Cryer and Jones.

Joe Rogan

Why he’d be a perfect fit: Although he was seen by far more eyes as the host of “Fear Factor” than he ever was as a cast member of the late, great “NewsRadio,” the latter gig demonstrated how well Rogan could work in an ensemble-comedy setting. In recent years, he’s been splitting his time between stand-up, podcasting, and – oddly enough – serving as the UFC’s go-to interviewer, but we think the time could be right for Rogan to return to the sitcom world.

Michael Madsen

Why he’d be a perfect fit: Not to undercut anyone else’s reputation, but given that IMDb would have us believe that Madsen currently has twenty goddamned film projects in various stages of production (along with another two on which he’s merely rumored), with James Brown no longer with us, we have no qualms about declaring him to be The Hardest Working Man in Show Business. Isn’t it about time the guy got a chance to sit back and relax – relatively speaking – with a sitcom gig? He cuts a figure that’s the complete antithesis of Cryer’s character, and although he doesn’t necessarily have a longstanding history in comedy, the man knows his way around a deadpan remark. Plus, you know you want to see him go head-to-head with Holland Taylor and Conchata Ferrell…

Bronson Pinchot

Why he’d be a perfect fit: As recently as six months ago, this would’ve seemed like a completely left-field suggestion (and we’re willing to concede that you may still consider it one), but damned if Pinchot hasn’t turned up on Monday nights on two different occasions this season, first on “Chuck,” then on “Hawaii Five-0.” To our way of thinking, the time couldn’t be more right for him to have a career renaissance. I mean, the dude was kicking some serious comedy ass in the late ’80s, what with stealing scenes from Eddie Murphy in “Beverly Hills Cop” and picking up an Emmy nod for his work as Balki Bartokomous on “Perfect Strangers,” but aside from a nice – if small – role in “True Romance,” the ’90s weren’t over kind to him, and although the ’00s gave him a few nice guest roles, his only regular TV role during the decade involved spending a season on “The Surreal Life.” After an experience like that, surely anyone would have earned a chance to step out of the limelight and into a proper spotlight. Pinchot’s been playing more dramatic roles in recent years, and successfully at that, but we miss seeing him get the chance to be funny. This could be that chance. (Hey, if nothing else, give us some credit for thinking outside the box, huh?)

Andrew McCarthy

Why he’d be a perfect fit: Um…because this photo proves that he can cut down on the show’s outrageous bowling-shirt budget by bringing his own wardrobe to the table?

Oh, okay, we admit it: this is the least serious suggestion we’re bringing to the table, but, seriously, how awesome would it be to see McCarthy and Cryer together again? ‘Cause, like, what if there was an episode where they ended up vying for the same girl’s affections? And then on the same episode, McCarthy’s character had a complete douche of a best friend who came to visit?

Can you smell the pink and pretty concoction that Bullz-Eye’s cooking up…? If so, please make sure that the scent wafts its way over to CBS, because even if they blow the show’s entire guest-star budget for the 2011 – 2012 season to bring in Molly Ringwald and James Spader, I’m telling you, this is Sweeps Week magic just waiting to happen.

Here endeth Bullz-Eye’s list of suggestions for possible Charlie Sheen replacements…but rather than simply throwing a list of names into Chuck Lorre’s lap and saying, “Okay, now you guys go do the heavy lifting,” we’d like to close the proceedings by letting our resident “Two and a Half Men” fan, Ross Ruediger, offer up a few fully-formed (well, mostly, anyway) ideas for how the series can move forward without stepping outside the show’s existing cast of characters…which, come to think of it, is probably what actual devotees would prefer, anyway.

A Modest Proposal

by Ross Ruediger

Given the sheer amount of time that Jon Cryer has put into “Two and a Half Men,” there’s really no question that he’s just as much of a lead as Charlie Sheen is on that show. Sure, Sheen gets the girls and gets to do all the fun shit, but not only has Cryer done his time, he’s actually won an Emmy while doing it.

“Two and a Half Men” gets a lot of shit, and, okay, so it’s not the best show in the world, but it’s still funny, and God knows it’s popular. Still, we’ve all seen that Charlie Sheen has aged quite visibly this season, and it’s probably no coincidence that the character of Charlie Harper has been going downhill, too. I feel like it could really give the show a jolt of energy if Chuck Lorre and the writers just said, “Fuck it, we’re moving on. Charlie’s gone, someone else has got his money…now let’s see what happens.”