Paul W.S. Anderson must have had “Titanic” playing on a loop for his cast and crew during the making of “Pompeii,” because the director’s sword-and-sandals/disaster movie borrows heavily from the James Cameron drama. That’s not to say that “Titanic” was a wholly original story, but you’d think that Anderson could have done a better job of not making its influence so blatantly obvious. Of course, everything about “Pompeii” feels half-assed – from its bland romance, to its terrible dialogue, to the worthless addition of 3D – and though it’s slightly better than last month’s “The Legend of Hercules,” the film is still a pretty miserable viewing experience.
The movie opens in the year 62 A.D. as a young boy witnesses the murder of his entire Celtic tribe, including his mother and father, and is promptly sold into slavery. 17 years later, the now grown-up Milo (Kit Harrington) is fighting in Britannia as a gladiator known only as The Celt when his skills in the arena impresses a Roman lanista and he’s shipped off to the Italian city of Pompeii. Along the way, Milo catches the eye of a wealthy merchant’s daughter named Cassia (Emily Browning), who’s betrothed to the smarmy Senator Corvus (Kiefer Sutherland), the very man responsible for slaughtering his people. (Extraordinarily, neither Corvus nor his right-hand man have seemingly aged a single day, making identifying them that much easier.) Forced to fight in the upcoming games alongside fellow gladiator Atticus (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), Milo is given a chance to exact his revenge when Mount Vesuvius suddenly erupts, causing mass panic throughout Pompeii as the city crumbles.