I mean, you wouldn’t forget someone who looks like this, would you?

And I was right, as it turns out.

Well, sort of, anyway: Iliza Shlesinger isn’t on CBS, per se, but she hosts the syndicated dating show “Excused, “which – provided it appears in your market – appears in on your TV screen courtesy of CBS Television Distribution. Funnily enough, I’d worked with her publicist on several past projects, which is why the publicist came up to me and asked, “Would you like to talk to Iliza?” Like I’d turn down an offer like that…

(Plus, as I told Ms. Shlesinger a few minutes later, I also immediately thought, “Hey, I’ve actually watched that show, so I won’t have to sit there bluffing my way through the next several minutes!”)

Iliza Shlesinger: Did you want to sit next to me?

Bullz-Eye: I can, if that’s permissible.

IS: I’ve saved this seat especially for you. Now, I’ve just eaten a piece of tuna, so don’t think I have bad breath.

BE: I won’t.

IS: I say that because you have bad breath…but hopefully only because I just saw you eat a piece of tuna, too.

BE: Let’s go with that, then. So I understand you guys have been picked up for a second season.

IS: Yes. Well, I hope so, anyway, because we’ve been filming it.

BE: And the schedule’s pretty ridiculous, from what I hear.

IS: We’ve been filming an episode a day, and we’re doing 100 episodes. Last season, we did 130. I’ve logged more TV hours than Regis Philbin.

BE: You just flew in from Canada, right?

IS:I did the Just for Laughs Festival in Montreal. We did a TV taping in front of 3,000 people last night. So I literally didn’t go to sleep and flew five hours to get here. And then I put this dress on.

BE: Which is an impressive feat in and of itself. How is it balancing your stand-up with the show?

IS: They feed each other, but at the same time it’s difficult, because you film all day, then you get out at 9:30 or 10 o’clock, and then I have to rush to the local comedy venues to get a couple of sets in to just keep sharp. So it is exhausting, and I can’t tour, but it’ll be worth it when we get done taping and I go back on tour. It’s important to do both, though, I think.

BE: How did you find your way into this gig in the first place?

IS: Excused? You wanna know the honest truth…?

BE: Sure, why not?

IS: I would love to say that they found me, but I auditioned. My manager called and said, “Do you wanna audition for a dating show?” And at first I said, “No,” but then I went to the audition, and they were so open to me having my own jokes, which you rarely see in comedy on TV, especially… I wasn’t a famous person, I wasn’t someone who had set any precedent with any sort of body of work, but they really let me come in and sort of shape the show. And I think the show you see today is a collaborative effort. Mostly from me. [Laughs.] And the producers allowing me and having enough faith in me to do the comedy I want and really trusting me to take it in those directions. So I’m eternally grateful for that.

BE: How hard is it to keep a straight face with some of these contestants?

IS: Not hard at all, because it’s seriously sad sometimes. [Laughs.] There have been times, and I’m sure they have them on outtakes somewhere, where I just lose it. And fortunately a lot of the comedy comes when I’m watching someone on the hidden camera, so they can’t see me keeping a straight face or not. And thank God for editing, because it’ll always look like I had the utmost candor. So that’s good.

BE: Did it take you awhile to find your rhythm doing the show, not having had a job like this before?

IS: Well, you know, comedy’s comedy. There’s different kinds of comedy, obviously, but…last year, when people came to the front door and I made fun of them, it was a lot of one-liners, and my act…I don’t do one-liners. I don’t do “yo mama” jokes. [Laughs.] So it was an exercise in a different form of comedy, and I so enjoyed it, because you get to use a different part of your comedy brain.

This year we’ve gotten rid of that part, but it’s more talking and finding comedy in the moment. Organic comedy, which I love. It’s crowd work, but with only a couple of people. So it’s good. [Hesitates.] You have great questions!

BE: And this is off the top of my head. I didn’t even know you were here!

IS: Well, they’re really good. I’m not joking with you. Like, usually the questions are so horrible, and it’s hard not to give jerky answers. But these are really good questions!

BE: [Blushing.] See, now you’ve complimented me, and now I’m drawing a blank.

IS: Should I start asking you questions?

BE: Yes, probably.

IS: Why did you grow that beard?

BE: Well, you know, it just kind of came naturally. I didn’t have to work very hard at it at all.

IS: [Laughs.] Nice.

BE: So it’s obviously at least partially out of your hands, but how long do you see yourself doing the show? Are you enjoying the experience?

IS: I do enjoy it. Like I said, it’s a grueling schedule. You’ve got to get up early every day, and…I’m not a make-up person and I’m not usually a tight-outfits person, but every day you’ve got to get up and get made up. But, you know, when you’re in the moment – and any comic will tell you this – it’s just like being on stage. It’s just so fun to do that. And at the end of the day, I get to make comedy during the day and at night. And not a lot of comics can say that for their careers.

BE: You mentioned that you’re not a one-liners kind of comedian. How would you describe your act for someone who hasn’t seen it?

IS: Observational. I’m more of a storyteller. Self-deprecating. Making fun of the world and just laughing with people. I mean, I think that’s what comedy’s about. You try to keep it honest, try to keep it intelligent. That’s something I try to bring to “Excused,” as hard as it is at times.

BE: Have you found that your audiences are recognizing you from the show now?

IS: It happens, yeah. Usually it’s, “You’re the girl from ‘Excused’!” No name. [Laughs.] And that’s fine. The more it’s on…I mean, it’s on enough that people are starting to pay attention to it. And one thing I’ve noticed is that, this fall, a lot of networks are launching comedy dating shows. I wonder where they got that idea…

BE: I can’t imagine.

IS: Nope. Me, neither. [Laughs.] So I like to think of myself…even though comedy dating shows have been around, I like to think of myself as the new age grandfather of comedy dating shows. Not as hot at Jenny McCarthy, but…I think we’re ushering in a new era of dating shows.

BE: Well, you know, Jenny McCarthy’s set the bar pretty high.

IS: Yeah. I can’t jump that bar. [Laughs.]

BE: So you said people are starting to say, “You’re the girl from ‘Excused,’” but is that a step up? Did they used to just say, “You’re the girl from that show’?”

IS: They used to say, “You’re the girl from ‘Last Comic Standing.’” Or any sort of bastardization of that title. [Laughs.] And then it’s usually, “You’re Alisa! Aliza! Uh…” And I know they mean well. The point is, they’ve seen the show. That’s what it’s all about. I always have my hair down, and I think that helps. Long blonde hair and a funny last name. It clicks. But, yeah, it’s happening more and more, and it’s pretty cool. It’s a cool thing to walk off an elevator and have someone be, like, “Oh!” And you know what? Not as many people as I thought, but…I’ve had about four people tell me I’m excused. I thought that was something that was going to plague me and eventually be the end of me.

BE: And it may yet.

IS: It may still. We’ll see how popular Season 2 is. But people have been pretty good about that. I think because they’re a little afraid of me. [Laughs.] And then I have people who Tweet me and ask me to excuse them. I’m, like, “I don’t know how awful-looking you are, so send me a picture…and send me five dollars.”

BE: Which actually ties into what I was getting ready to ask you: how has social networking helped your profile?

IS: You know, Twitter’s a great tool. It adds a lot of garbage to cyberspace because not everyone needs to know every thought, but it really helps people to get to know your brand of humor and your brand of comedy. And in terms of publicizing your shows and your side projects and your main projects…you know, if used properly, it’s a beautiful thing. It’s also lightning in a bottle. You know, you got one guy who Tweets something about his foot and gets a million hits, then you’ve got someone who Tweets constantly every day, and nobody’s reading them. You never know.

BE: Do you use YouTube to promote your act at all?

IS: I’m familiar with the YouTube. [Laughs.] It’s a tough thing, though. I know “Excused” has its own channel, which is great for outtakes and content that you don’t get watching TV…which, if you’re a fan of something, you want that premium content. But for comedy, it’s a tough thing, because when you put a bit on YouTube, that’s where it lives forever, in perpetuity. And you want sometimes to work on bits and then debut them later, so I usually pass on people filming my sets. I’d rather have the television channel film me and broadcast them. But I am on YouTube. Some of the clips are old, though. In fact, most of them are.

BE: Do you incorporate any of your experiences from “Excused” into your stand-up?

IS: You know, like I kind of mentioned earlier, I think they feed one another on some level. And the prowess that you gain from being on a show like this, where you always have to be on your toes, helps with stand-up. I have one or two bits, but…dating’s relatable, and human interaction certainly is, but what I actually do is so unrelatable. It’s hard to set up a joke with, “So you know when you’re on the set, hosting your dating show, and the director’s just so…” [Starts to laugh.]

BE: Actually, that’d be a great bit.

IS: Well, I’m going to start doing that, then. [Laughs.] If the show becomes popular enough, I can probably do that. But it’s like when celebrities try comedy, and they’re, like, “So you’re on a movie set…” People are, like, “Nope, never done that.” So you try to keep it humble and keep it simple.

BE: Who’s the most ridiculous contestant you’ve had on the show?

IS: “Who isn’t?” is the better question. You know, every week…there’s ridiculous and then there’s creepy and then there’s weird. We have people who…I dunno, usually when people get blackout drunk, that helps. Sometimes people take it too seriously and cry. I’m trying to think… Off the top of my head, I’ll give you the honest answer: after this many episodes, it gets a little blurry. So few things stick out. We did have one guy reveal that he had a genital disease. That was great.  [Laughs.] Real fun to witness. And I think it’s a little funny when they get angry. I think it’s funny when they get angry at me. I’m not the one determining their fate, whether they believe it or not. But I am the one speaking to them, so…I’m the easy excuse on “Excused,” I guess.

Bullz-Eye: Kurt, most guys have a tendency to view weddings as more of a means to an end rather than something to really get excited about, so I can’t imagine what it took to get you involved in a show that focuses on every single aspect of the wedding process.

Kurt Iswarienko: I agree with you that most guys probably share that sentiment. [Laughs.] The cool thing is that I didn’t have to deal with planning the wedding at all, because my job was to plan the honeymoon. And Shannen did the planning of the wedding. So it wasn’t any kind of hassle or nightmare at all to go into.

BE: Shannen, I’ve read the press release for the show, and this is obviously something that you’ve been looking forward to for quite some time, the definitive dream wedding.

Shannen Doherty: Yeah. Uh… [Long pause.] Yeah. [Laughs.] I’m not quite sure how to… [Another long pause.] Yes, since we’ve been engaged, we’ve sort of talked about, “Okay, we’re doing to do a wedding, we’re going to do it right,” and definitely this is. But I’m also not that girl who, from the time I was six, dreamed about having this fantasy dream wedding, or that I just had had had to get married.

BE: So how early did David Tutera come into the mix? Was he always going to be a part of it?

SD: You know, I think… [Hesitates.] He probably came into the mix pre-production, when, y’know, you’re sort of talking about the show and the wedding, and I had said to my executive at the time, “I think I’m going to hire a wedding coordinator, just because I need one, but also because while I’m working I need someone to take my vision and make it happen.” And then the network said, “Well, how about David?” And I said, “Uh, duh!” [Laughs.] “Great!” So he came on pretty much in pre-production, I guess. Pretty early on.

KI: That, and we spent a whole Sunday watching…

SD: …a “My Fair Wedding” marathon. [Laughs.]

KI: …a “My Fair Wedding” marathon. We both got sucked into it somehow, and we were, like, “Of course he’s the guy!”

BE: How has he been to work with? Does he throw things at you, or does he try to get you to brainstorm?

SD: I think what probably even David would say, because it was something we actually talked about, is that, on his show, the brides come to him and he goes, “No, no, no, your idea is awful, let me change it and make it mine.” And this was very different, because it wasn’t about a show. It was about an actual, real wedding, and I had a definitive vision, and there was no negotiating with me. None. And he didn’t even try, because that wasn’t his job. His job was to actually be a wedding coordinator. And a wedding planner and a wedding consultant. And that means you take the bride’s vision and you make it happen. It doesn’t mean that you look at her and say, “Your idea sucks.”

BE: It makes good TV, but not necessarily a good wedding, at least in the real world.

SD: Right. So he… I mean, maybe he… [Hesitates.] Maybe he hated all the ideas. But I think he liked them. And, you know, like I said, there was never any room for negotiations with what the wedding was going to be, the cover scheme, or anything else. This was always what I was going to do. But the wedding turned out great, and David was super helpful, and…I’m glad we did it.

KI: What, the marriage?

SD: [Laughs.] Yeah

KI: Okay, good.

BE: So it has to be asked: what do you think guys will get out of this show? Because surely they’ll be dragged kicking and screaming into watching it by their wives or significant others, but what do you think they’ll get out of it once they’re there?

SD: You know, I think it’s… [Hesitates.] Here’s what I’ve got to say about our show versus a lot of other shows that I think men will like: I realize we’re on a women’s network, but it’s definitely not a heavily female-slanted show. It is very evenly matched between the two of us, and it definitely shows a guy’s standpoint versus a woman’s standpoint, and…it’s honest. I think most women kind of don’t love these shows because they sit there rolling their eyes going, “Yeah, right, like that’s honest. Like that’s true. Like the guy really does that all the time.” I know I do that. So I’m assuming most people do that. [Laughs.] And with this show, you don’t roll your eyes. You never have that moment, because we made a deal with each other going in that, no matter what anybody else said or anybody else wanted, we were going to stay honest and truthful and authentic to who we are as individuals and in a relationship. So there’s not one fake moment in the show. [To Kurt.] But what do you think?

KI: Um, I think… You know, the extent of most guys’ opinion about women when it comes to these things is that water-cooler thing of, “They’re all the same, dude.” And then women say the same thing about men, and then nothing gets resolved. Why would a guy want to watch this show? Because they’ll see the two of us going through every problem that everyone else has, but there’s actual collaboration and resolution instead of problems, so there’s somewhere to go at the end of the day, as opposed to just throwing your hands up and saying, “Women are all crazy,” or, “Guys are all stupid,” or whatever.

SD: I mean, it’s not like we don’t have those moments. I mean, we both have those moments where we’re, like…well, you know.

KI: Yeah. And they’re going to see someone that’s significantly interesting, such as her, going through all the same shit that everyone goes through, and then me, who no one knows anything about, and I’m kind of like every guy in this occasion. And we’re working it out. We’re fighting sometimes, and we’re not fighting other times…it’s just relatable problems. It’s kind of a bit of a road map of what you could do to maybe not just walk away angry at the end of the day.

BE: Kurt, I know you said that Shannen handled all of the wedding plans, but given your line of work, surely you at least got to pick the photographer.

KI: For the wedding? Uh, no, I did not.

BE: Really? I would’ve figured that you’d have some pretty specific ideas about what kind of shots you’d want to have taken.

KI: I did not get to choose. In fact, there was someone else that I wanted, but…

SD: [Talking over Kurt.] You have to remember…

KI: It’s true! [Laughs.]

SD: …that the only reason why Kurt and I actually know each other is because I’ve been doing this for a really, really long time, and I have always handpicked my photographers who work with me. So I like to say that I have a very good eye… [Looks at Kurt and smiles.] …and the magazine that we met on, I had photographer approval. And I picked him. So, naturally, when it comes to a wedding…first off, the wedding is the woman’s event. It’s not the man’s. And it was, like, “Well, if I picked you for that shoot and made the right decision, not only in how beautiful the pictures turned out, not only in how talented you are as a photographer, but you became my husband…” I think I can pick the photographer for the wedding.

BE: That seems fair.

SD: Yeah! [Laughs.]

KI: Although I ended up in a relationship with you, so…we wouldn’t want that to happen with the wedding photographer, now, would we?

SD: [Incredulous.] It wouldn’t… [Starts laughing.] Where did you even…

KI: Well, you’re drawing comparisons between photographers and how great you are at picking them, so… [Looks at her face.] I’m joking.

SD: [Stares at him.] You’re weird.

KI: So are you.

SD: You are so strange… [Laughs.]

BE: Okay, well, as long as I’ve turned the conversation to photography, I’m curious, Kurt, who some of your influences are. Because, I mean, I looked at some of your stuff online and…well, don’t let this go to your head, but it seemed like maybe there was some Anton Corbijn there.

KI: Oh, for sure. I’ll openly admit that. I grew up first listening to U2 records, so I discovered Anton Corbijn through that, and, y’know, when you start looking at a lot of other photography, you realize that guys like Anton Corbijn are completely unique and talented beyond any comprehension. So I for sure am heavily inspired by him. And others like him.

Kurt snaps a shot of the elusive Benicio del Toro

BE: How do you go about deciding on the setting or theme of the photo you’re taking?

KI: I…I dunno. Photos, I think, they just kind of end up creeping in on you when you’re with the person you’re photographing. You know, you just try to set up an environment that’s honest and conducive and free of any kind of pretense, and then if you’re lucky enough to get a good moment, then you can lock yourself in a dark room for a week and photo-shop and give it whatever else you want to give it. But if you don’t have the moment to begin with, you don’t have anything.

BE: Has there been any photo that you’ve taken where you thought, “This is one I want to be remembered for”?

KI: Well, I don’t know about that, but the ones that are great, the ones that end up having “legs,” if you like, it’s very obvious when you see it. You just kind of… Shannen’s actually an amazing editor of my photos, and I’m sure of anyone else’s photos, but some of my best stuff, she’s actually put the story together. I shoot a lot, and I’m not good at editing my own stuff, but she’s very good. She’s got a very sharp eye. She’s a good photographer, too.

SD: [Sweetly.] Thanks.

KI: Well, what do you do badly? [Laughs.]

BE: Shannen, I’ve got a standard question that I ask every actor: what’s your favorite project you’ve worked on over the years that didn’t get the love you thought it deserved?

KI: Oh, that’s a good question…

SD: That’s a very good question. Hmmmmm. That didn’t get the kind of love it deserved… I don’t really know, ‘cause I think many of my favorite projects, like “Heathers” and “Charmed” and “Mallrats” probably got a lot of love. I think… [Long pause.] You know, I did a miniseries called “Gone in the Night” for CBS, and although it did excellent excellent excellent in the ratings, I don’t necessarily know that it got the recognition that it deserved. It was Dixie Carter and Ed Asner, and, you know, when you’re working with those two, you kind of can’t go wrong. You know, they’re sort of at the top of their game. They’re truly talented…or “were,” in Dixie’s case…people. I mean, Ed Asner? It’s, like, gimme a break.

KI: He’s a legend.

SD: Seriously. I mean, he’s Ed Asner. Every second you’re in his presence, you’re, like, “What can I learn from you? What can I soak up from you?” And he’s just so nice, and so giving as an actor. And Dixie…she was an amazing Southern woman, and I’m from the South, and she was also fantastic. And really thorough, I think, as an actor. She really thought out what she was doing. And for me, who’s a little bit more spontaneous, it was interesting to watch that. I learned a lot from it and took some of what she did, and I’ve ingrained it in my process now a little bit. So that for me was an amazing project to work on, and I’m not sure it got quite the love that it should’ve.

BE: I don’t know if it’s underrated or overrated, but I have very fond memories of watching “Our House.”

SD: Oh, yeah!

BE: Our whole family used to watch it together, in fact.

SD: That’s so funny. I got a phone call from Wilford (Brimley). Actually, it was when we were filming the show. And he was seeing if I would want to do, like, a…I don’t even know what, really. I don’t if they’re talking about having the family come back in sort of a new, updated special where it’s, like, “What did Chris Witherspoon do?” [Laughs.] Or if it’s just for a sit-down talk for the cast. It’s something, but I’m not quite sure what. But I was, like, “If you’re involved, I’m there.”

BE: Did you see him on Craig Ferguson’s show?

SD: No!

BE: Oh, he was fantastic.

SD: When was he on?

KI: We’re gonna have to go YouTube it.

BE: He was clearly there solely because Craig Ferguson just wanted to talk to him. He had nothing to promote whatsoever, and he seemed utterly confused as to why Craig Ferguson would want to talk to him, but they chatted for maybe ten minutes, and I don’t know that anything he said was more than a sentence or two in length, and they were never very lengthy.

SD: Yeah, that’s Wilford. [Laughs.]

BE: But he was still awesome. And I don’t know if you watch the show, but at the end of a guest’s segment, Craig gives them the choice of winning a big cash prize, doing an awkward pause, or playing the mouth organ. Well, Wilford goes for the mouth organ, then proceeds to go on a mad harmonica solo, at which point Craig awards him the Gold Harmonica.  

SD: Oh, I so have to watch this. [Laughs.] Wilford is… It’s not surprising to me that Wilford gave very short sentences. He doesn’t elaborate a lot. He’s a man of few words. But when he does speak, it’s definitive and it’s about something. You know, he’s old school. Seriously old school. And he is awesome.

BE: I think the perfect encapsulation of the interview came when Craig was asking Wilford about his ranch, and Craig says, “Oh, what kind of horse do you have?” “Brown.” And that was it. End of discussion.

SD: [Laughs.] Yep. You know, he gave me a brown horse.

KI: He did?

SD: Yeah. Brownie. One of my first horses. I’ve had two men give me horses. Wilford was one, and the other was R.D. Hubbard, who used to own Hollywood Park (Racetrack). He gave me a black stallion. Because “The Black Stallion” was one of my favorite movies, and I was, like, “I want a black stallion so bad!” So he gave me a black stallion.

BE: Lastly, as far as “90210” goes, did you enjoy the episodes that you did, and will we ever see you on the show again?

SD: I…thoroughly enjoyed coming back and doing it. It was…it’s definitely a different show now, I think, that when I was on it and when Jennie (Garth) was on it. It was different producers at the time. You know, for me it was great because it was… I think the best part was sort of the fans, and doing something to say “thank you” for fans being so incredibly loyal. And my fans are the best. They’re very loyal. Also, it was very interesting to come back as adults and work again with Jennie, especially since…well, you know, it’s no secret that we weren’t exactly friends on the original “90210.” But we’re friends now, and to sort of look at each other and for me to go, “Oh, man, I’m so stupid,” and for her to go, “I can’t believe I said something so mean about you,” we were looking at each other and going, “You know, I actually like you. You’re actually cool.” [Laughs.] I think it’s just such a commentary on, when you’re 18 and thrown into that kind of situation versus when you’re older and more mature, what happens. You always give people a second chance.