Note: With the biggest cast in television it can be hard to keep all the names and faces straight. Thus the first mention of each character contains a link to a picture of them which will open in a new tab.

As I’ve often discussed in the past, I generally try to find unifying theme in each episode of Game of Thrones and base my blog around it.  Sometimes it’s hard, and takes a lot of pondering to find. Sometimes, as in “Dark Wings Dark Words,” there isn’t one to be found, as the episode is linked by graceful editing rather than a theme. Other times, as in “The Climb” or “Second Sons,” the writers are kind enough to put the theme right there in the title (although this week didn’t offer a Littlefinger soliloquy to put it in neon lights).

A lot of “Second Sons” is about, well, second sons. We’ve got the literal second-born male children, like Stannis and the Hound, as well as “second-class” sons like Gendry, due to being a bastard. Not to mention Tyrion, who fits into both categories. And how could we forget ol’ Samwell Tarly, a de-facto second son. Recall that Sam’s father stripped him of his birthright (in favor of his actual second son) and relegated him to the Night’s Watch despite his being the eldest.

My Sword is Yours, My Life is Yours, My Heart is Yours

Let’s start with a different, but still literal, kind of Second Sons: the band of sellswords now headed by one Daario Naharis (and thus capitalized). I say now headed because it’s in this very episode that Daario, a mere Liutenant rebelled against the captains of the Second Sons so that he could pledge his sword (and those of the Second Sons), life, and heart to Daenerys (which is especially considering they’re the exact words Jorah Mormont would have liked to have used if not for Westerosi customs and the fact that he doesn’t look quite like the dude in the picture above). Now all that stands between her and the conquest of Yunkai are those big brick walls.

Another, well I wouldn’t call it a theme, but another recurring idea in this episode was the mixture and juxtaposition of the kind, sweet, sugar, spice and everything nice moments with the brutal mean and menacing ones. I say moments here, because that’s how it played out in the majority of the episode. In Daenerys’ case however, it’s her character that’s transitioning from her acting like a “young girl unwise in the ways of war” to swiftly telling Ser Barristan to kill “that one first” (referring to the particularly rude captain of the Second Sons). In the episode, moments of sweetness and sadness are juxtaposed, but this week and in the series and general, it is Dany’s character which defines that juxtaposition. A more dangerous charmer there never was. You know, when she’s not screaming about taking back what is hers with fire and blood. She hasn’t done much of that this year, thank the seven (although in fairness the writers had to scramble about to give Daenerys a semi-interesting storyline last season, since the books don’t really offer one).

The Hound and the Wolf Girl/King’s Blood

I’m combining the highly removed storylines of Arya Stark and the Hound along with Stannis, Gendry, and Melisandre into one section because of they’re contrasting takes on the aforementioned juxtaposition of kindness and brutality. When the Hound snatched Arya up after she ran away from the Brotherhood, she (and many viewers) thought it was just about the worst thing that could have happened. I mean, he’s among the names in her “prayer,” you know, repeating all the names of the people who have wronged her and she intends to kill. No way she’ll ever get back to her family now, right? Arya even goes so far as to raise a boulder above Sandor’s head while he (ostensibly) sleeps. He’s awake though, and offers her a gamble: throw the rock and try to kill him, with the full understanding that if he does survive, he’ll catch her and break both her hands. Things are not looking good. As they ride, Sandor tries to explain that his finding her was actually good luck, as there are people far worse than him out there. She retorts that there’s no one worse than him, and he quips back that she’s never met his brother (which plays back into the second sons theme). Yep, things sure do look bad for Arya. When they reach a river, she asks if it’s the Blackwater, as she’s under the impression that he’s taking her back to King’s Landing and captivity. The Hound laughs and tells her the river is the Red Fork, and that he intends to take her to the Twins, where her brother and mother are headed, so he ransom her. In this case, a story that began menacing turns out well. There appears to be a glimmer of hope that Arya will finally get back to her family.

Arya’s old pal Gendry, however, finds himself on exactly the opposite side of the sweet and sour juxtaposition. Thing’s are looking good, a bastard boy been’s brought to the castle of his wealthy and powerful uncle, placed in a chamber containing more wealth than he’s ever seen, and better food and wine than he could even imagine. He doesn’t know what the plan is, but he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. The uncles of bastard boys don’t send their red priestesses into the middle of nowhere to find them so they can be pampered and given all the love and affection they never got growing up. Gendry remains suspicious, and rightfully so, until Melisandre is able to get him to relax using her feminine, ahem, charm. She sticks leeches on him to draw out his blood (one of which goes on a particularly painful and entirely unnecessary male organ), king’s blood. Of course, we knew that was coming after hearing Melisandre tell Stannis that she’s “slaughtered many sheep and none of them ever saw the knife.” The reason for all this, she claims, is that the recently freed Ser Davos remains a non-believer, and requires a demonstration of both her power and that of king’s blood. So Stannis drops each of the blood-filled leeches into a pit of fire while reciting the names of the usurper kings: Robb Stark, Balon Greyjoy, and Joffrey Baratheon. 

My Small Short Lannister Wedding

Meanwhile, there’s a wedding going on in King’s Landing. It’s the special day Sansa Stark has always dreamed of, only not at all. When Tyrion first comes to greet her she actually smiles and seems quite receptive, as if she’s taken Margaery’s advice to heart. But as the day wears on her true feelings show more and more. Things are just as rough for our favorite second son, Tyrion, who’s uncomfortable with the whole notion of wedding a girl who hates him, a girl who’s far too young for him, and the girl for whom the woman he’s truly in love with serves as a chambermaid.

Yes indeed, there are no shortage of awkward moments in King’s Landing this week. Whether it’s Tyrion’s interactions with his wife and lover, Joffrey telling Sansa he’s going to sneak into her bedchambers and rape her that evening, oh, and let’s not forget this classic line from the Cersei Lannister school of charm: “No one cares what your father once told you.” She says that to her own future husband, Ser Loras. But the night’s most entertaining interactions come from the awkward exchanges between the groom and his “proud father,” Tywin. Peter Dinklage plays one hell of a drunk. But still, the award for the best, and tensest moment of the episode goes to Tyrion after Joffrey tries to initiate the traditional bedding ceremony, in which the men in attendance strip the clothes off the bride and the women do the same to the groom. Tyrion has endured enough humiliation for one day, and declares that there will be no bedding, despite Joffrey’s angrily huffing that there will be if he commands it because he is the king, yadda yadda yadda. That’s when Tyrion pulls out a dagger and sticks it into the wooden table point first, telling Joffrey that if he continues he’ll be bedding his own wife with a “wooden cock” when his own day of matrimony arrives. Tywin is able to diffuse the situation by pointing out how drunk his son is, and Tyrion, quickly realizing his mistake (if not feeling guilty for it) attempts to play it off as a joke. Intra-Lannister relations in King’s Landing are already quite malicious, and it’s not as if Tyrion and Joffrey were pals prior to the wedding. We’ll have to wait and see if Tyrion’s threat comes back to haunt him.

A Few More Things:

-I didn’t get a chance to talk about Sam’s story in any depth. The long and short of it is that he finally discovers why some unknown man of the Night’s Watch left a cache of obsidian (or dragon glass) weapons at the Fist of the First Men: It’s the White Walker’s Kryptonite. It takes a trial by fire (or rather, ice) to figure that one out, Sam stabs the Other because it’s the only move he’s got. Lucky for him it paid off. Now we’ll just have to see if the rest of the Crows believe him, and what they have to say about the woman he’s got in tow.

-All you non-readers might be interested to know that in the books, Daario dyes both his hair and three-pronged beard blue. You can see why that wouldn’t work onscreen.

-That’s all for episode eight, so hold onto your hats, boys and girls. If you’ve been paying attention to the last two seasons, you know episode nine is when Shit. Goes. Down.

Check out the preview for next week’s episode below and follow the writer on Twitter @NateKreichman.

SPOILER WARNING: Whether you’ve read all five books or only watch the series this post is for you. I have read the books (multiple times) but I will not go beyond the scope of the TV series (save a wink or a nod every now and then that only my fellow readers will catch on to). All events that have occurred in the TV show up to and including yesterday’s episode are fair game.  You’ve been warned.

Note: With the biggest cast in television it can be hard to keep all the names and faces straight. Thus the first mention of each character contains a link to a picture of them which will open in a new tab.

Dracarys

We only saw Dany for a short time in “And Now His Watch His Ended,” but what  a time it was. She hands the slave master Kraznys the chain holding Drogon, the largest and most fearsome of her dragons. He in turn hands her the whip which symbolizes control of the thousands and thousands of Unsullied before her. Once the whip is in her hand, the Unsullied immediately follow her various simple orders: march forward, stop. Kraznys finds himself in much the opposite scenario, though he holds Drogon’s chain, he does not hold Drogon. He complains to Dany in High Valyrian, who turns to tell him “A dragon is not a slave,” revealing in one line both facets of Dany’s deception: First, she’s understood Kraznys all along. The Targaryens are of the blood of Old Valyria, and Valyrian is her mother tongue. Second, she agreed to hand Drogon over knowing full well he would never submit to another master. Unlike slaves, bond and ownership can not be transferred with a chain or whip. She then commands the Unsullied to “slay the masters, slay the soldiers, slay every man who holds a whip, but harm no child. Strike the chains off every slave you see!” Finally realizing his blunder, Kraznys attempts to regain control of the Unsullied, commanding them to kill her, but they belong to Dany now. Once again, she turns to say that word of great destruction, “Dracarys.” Boom. Roasted. Thus were the slaves of Astapor freed and the city burned, with Dany losing nothing and gaining an army in the process. Perhaps she’s finally on her way to Westeros?

In the books, this was one of those moments you stood up, paced around, puffed out your chest, and pumped your fists, and it translated in the show. In the books especially, it felt like the first time Dany had done anything, let alone anything awesome, in forever. The writers did what they could to inject some life into her season two storyline, but it still often felt like a distraction, time wasted in Qarth that could’ve been spent in Westeros. So seeing Dany say dracarys and the chaos that followed had much the same effect.

Furthermore, the scene symbolized both of the episode’s major themes. The first being rising up against one’s oppressors (at times a variation of the hunter becoming the hunted), and the second being the dangers of underestimating and/or misreading people. In this case at least I don’t think either requires much explanation (which is why I chose to begin with it). In the former case, slaves kill their masters. Done. In the latter, Kraznys thought he was conman when in fact he was the victim. That’s got to, ahem, burn.

Mutiny in the Watch

The aforementioned themes of “And Now His Watch Has Ended” were prevalent in the Night’s Watch storyline as well. It begins with a funeral for a brother named Bannen (no picture as we never actually met him in the show). Remember the words of the oath of Night’s Watch, “It shall not end until my death.” Thus the eulogy for Bannen, and all brothers of the Watch, conclude with “And now his watch is ended.” At first glance, this is the source of the episode’s title, but only at first glance.

The grumbling begins during the funeral, after Grenn notes he “didn’t think a broken foot could kill a man.” Rast replies that “It wasn’t his foot that killed him. That bastard Craster starved him to death.” Later on, Craster and Mormont argue about when the men of the Watch should leave for the Wall. But things don’t get truly ugly until Rast’s words are echoed in Craster’s hearing. Mormont orders the brother who spoke them to go outside, as he is prone to do when brothers say things to provoke their host. But the man refuses, saying it’s cold out. Hell breaks loose when Rast calls Craster a stingy bastard, Craster reaches for an axe, and the man who’d ignored Mormont’s orders earlier charges  at and slays the wildling. He then grabs one of the women and holds a knife to her throat, and when Mormont tries to intervene, Rast stabs him in the back (props to Mormont for coming this close to choking him to death after sustaining that kind of wound). Sam flees the chaos, grabbing a sword and taking off for the wilderness with Gilly.

First things first, the episode’s title refers to the end of both Commander Mormont’s watch, though he will get no funeral at which men say the words, as well as the mutineers, who are on their own now—returning to Castle Black would mean certain death. As for the themes, they’re quite prevalent if not as clear cut. It would be unfair to call Mormont an oppressor, but he was the man in charge, and his downfall stemmed from inability to recognize just how deep the fractures in the Watch’s morale went. The fact that he actually had to stand up to try and force Rast out of the keep speaks volumes. At Castle Black, under normal circumstances, the word of any superior is law, and that goes double for the Lord Commander. At Castle Black, Mormont wouldn’t have needed to tell Rast to leave the room, he would merely have to glare at him. There can be no doubt Mormont was aware of the discontent among his men. There can be no doubt he himself was discontent, as exhibited by his argument with Craster. But he completely underestimated just how far that discontent would make them go, and it cost him his life.

Jaime Lannister: Hero, Savior, Sympathetic Character?  

Jaime Lannister isn’t nearly as innocent as Mormont, nor has he personally oppressed his captives. It would be more accurate to call his current predicament an example of how the mighty have fallen (and his enemies rising). But while Tywin rests at the helm of the enemy war effort, Jaime is, or rather was, its greatest symbol due to his skills as a warrior. In this regard he does work as an illustration of the hunter becoming the hunted. He’s able to swipe a sword and attempts to fight himself free, and he makes a fairly good go of it considering how outnumbered he is, that he’s out of shape due to being imprisoned for over a year, and most importantly that he’s fighting with his left hand. Locke and his band would all be crow food if Jaime still had his sword hand.

There’s the weak overcoming the mighty, and then there’s what’s happening to Jaime. It’s a line you simply don’t cross. Forcing him to wear his hand around his neck, laughing when he falls off his horse into the mud, tricking him into drinking horse piss—Locke is one cruel dude. It’s important to consider that Locke is in the service of Roose Bolton. What do we know about him? Not much, although one exchange he had with Robb last season spoke volumes about his character:

Bolton: In my family we say, “a naked man has few secrets. A flayed man none.”

Robb: My father outlawed flaying in the North.

Bolton: We’re not in the North.

Robb Stark: We’re not torturing them!

Roose Bolton: The high road’s very pretty, but you’ll have a hard time marching your army down it.

Bolton’s not exactly known for his kindness either, and Lockey see as Roosey do. But that’s not the impression we get when Jaime arrives at Harrenhal in “Kissed by Fire.” Locke throws Jaime down at his master’s feet and then kicks him into the mud. Bolton is not amused, quickly telling Locke to pick him up. He then notes that Jaime’s lost a hand, but Locke replies “No my lord, he has it here,” pointing to it hanging around his neck. Bolton swipes it off and tells Locke to take it away, the man smiles and says “We’ll send it to his father,” to which Bolton replies “You’ll hold your tongue unless you want to lose it.” Bolton then commands that Brienne be cut free. He even offers his apologies and tells her she’ll be under his protection now. None of this behavior seems to fit with what we’ve seen of Bolton or his general reputation. There are only two possible explanations here: The first is that Bolton is an an honorable man who has cultivated a reputation for cruelty to put fear into others and gain power, which, as we know is “a trick, a shadow on the wall” (although that wouldn’t explain the look of genuine surprise on Locke’s face when Bolton tells him to hold his tongue). The second is that Bolton’s reputation is well-earned, but he believes holding back is the smart move in the game of thrones. Smart money goes on the second answer, as when Jaime finally speaks up to ask for news of King’s Landing, Bolton details Stannis’s siege, ending with “And your sister… How can I put this? Your sister… is alive and well. Your father’s forces prevailed.” Even if Bolton believes he can benefit from treating Jaime with some semblance of kindness, he still can’t hold back from torturing him with those pauses in his speech, which no doubt lasted years from Jaime’s perspective.

In other news, these two episodes brought an enormous amount of character development for Jaime and Brienne. As the odds against them grow larger, they grow closer and closer. Brienne tells Jaime she knows he saved her from being raped by telling Locke she’s from Tarth, the “Sapphire Isle,” and he’ll be well rewarded if she’s returned unharmed (and “her honor remains unbesmirched”). So what, you say, he said a few words to prevent a woman  from being raped, should we give him a trophy? No, you shouldn’t, but it’s important to note that, as Brienne reveals later, Tarth earned its nickname due to the blue of its waters, not because it’s full of sapphires. Locke and his men were uninformed enough to think the former, but Jaime received a grand education due to his status. It’s not an action that deserves a trophy, but it’s also not an action season one Jaime would have even bothered with. That Jaime Lannister would literally rather save his breath than save a “wench” from being raped.

But wait, there’s more! Jaime Lannister is known as Kingslayer and oathbreaker, he’s reviled throughout the Seven Kingdoms, men with a fraction of the honor of Ned Stark looked down their noses at him. We’ve heard him attempt to justify his actions in the past with lines like, “So many vows. They make you swear and swear. Defend the King, obey the King, obey your father, protect the innocent, defend the weak. But what if your father despises the King? What if the King massacres the innocent? It’s too much. No matter what you do, you’re forsaking one vow or another.” It all seemed like posturing and rationalization, whatever helped him sleep at night. Until the illustrious bath scene, when we finally hear the truth in a truly amazing scene between Nickolaj Coster-Waldau and Gwendoline Christie. Nothing I can say will do it justice, it speaks for itself, so I transcribed it for you. They say there’s no such thing as an incorrect opinion, but if your opinion of Jaime Lannister didn’t change after this episode, well, your opinion’s wrong. Congratulations, you’re the first person in the history of the world to have an incorrect opinion. You’re like the Neil Armstrong of sucking.

J: There it is. There’s the look. I’ve seen on face after face after seventeen years. You all despise me. Kingslayer. Oathbreaker. A man without honor. You’ve heard of wildfire?

B: Of course.

J: The Mad King was obsessed with it. He loved to watch people burn, the way their skin blackened and blistered and melted off their bones. He burned lords he didn’t like. He burned Hands who disobeyed him. He burned anyone who was against him. Before long half the country was against him. Aerys saw traitors everywhere. So he had his pyromancers place caches of wildfire all over the city. Beneath the Sept of Baelor and the slums of Flea bottom. Under houses, stables, taverns. Even beneath the Red Keep itself. Finally, the day of reckoning came. Robert Baratheon marched on the capital after his victory at the Trident. But my father arrived first, with the whole Lannister army at his back, promising to defend the city against the rebels. I knew my father than that. He’s never been one to pick the losing side. I told the Mad King as much. I urged him to surrender peacefully. But the king didn’t listen to me. He didn’t listen to Varys who tried to warn him. But he did listen to Grand Maester Pycelle, that grey sunken cunt. “You can trust the Lannisters,” he said. “The Lannisters have always been true friends of the crown.” So we opened the gates and my father sacked the city. Once again, I came to the king, begging him to surrender. He told me to…bring him my father’s head. Then he…turned to his pyromancer. “Burn them all,” he said. “Burn them in their homes. Burn them in their beds. Tell me, if your precious Renly commanded you to kill your own father and stand by while thousands of men, women, and children burned alive would you have done it? Would you have kept your oath then? First, I killed the pyromancer. And then when the king turned to flee I drove my sword into his back. “Burn them all,” he kept saying. “Burn them all.” I don’t think he expected to die. He…he meant to burn with rest of us and rise again, reborn as a dragon to turn his enemies to ash. I slit his throat to make sure that didn’t happen. That’s where Ned Stark found me.

B: If this is true, why didn’t you tell anyone? Why didn’t you tell Lord Stark?

Stark? You think the honorable Ned Stark wanted to hear my side. He judged me guilty the moment he set eyes on me. By what right does the wolf judge the lion? By what right?

B: Help, help! The Kingslayer!

J: Jaime. My name is Jaime.

The Hound vs. The Lightning Lord

Now back to your regularly-scheduled discussion of themes. There’s no better example of the hunter becoming the hunted in these episodes than the Hound getting hounded for his past crimes by Beric Dondarrion and the Brotherhood without Banners. Alright, there’s one, the literal one, but we’ll get to that later. But there’s no better example of the downtrodden rising up against their oppressors than the Brotherhood without Banners and all that they stand for. Well, yes there is. The literal slavery of the Unsullied clearly fits better than the figurative slavery the smallfolk of Westeros live under. Anyway, the vicious Sandor, who we’ve seen kill many a man is charged with the crime of murder, but since no one can prove his guilt or innocence, he will fight Dondarrion to the death in a trial by combat to “prove his guilt or innocence.”

For those that don’t recall, in season one, Lord Beric (played by a different actor) was called upon by Ned Stark to bring the king’s justice to the “false knight” Gregor Clegane, who was sacking the Riverlands on the orders of Tywin Lannister. My how the tables have turned since then. With Ned and Robert dead, Joffrey on the Iron Throne and Tywin Lannister ruling the Seven Kingdoms behind the scenes, Gregor Clegane is now an honorable knight fighting for the good of the realm. Beric and the Brotherhood, however, have gone from king’s men to outlaws, but they continue to fight. The Hound points out that they’re fighting for ghosts, which Beric wears as a badge of honor. “That’s what we are, ghosts, waiting for you in the dark. You can’t see us, but we see you. No matter whose cloak you wear—Lannister, Stark, Baratheon—you prey on the weak, the Brotherhood without Banners will hunt you down.” In short, Beric the Brotherhood fights for the smallfolk against the oppression of the ruling class, and as a result, some of those same smallfolk have joined their ranks. Lord Beric and his band are some of the few truly egalitarian characters in the series. Sure Dany is slavery’s greatest enemy, but she still means to fight a war and install herself as queen, not hold free elections.

So in one of the best fight scenes in book or show, the Hound faces off against Dondarion and his flaming sword at the beginning of “Kissed by Fire.” It’s a close fight, but Sandor brute strength wins it as a downward thrust cuts right through Donadarrion’s sword, breaking it, and continues down through the Lightning Lord’s torso. It seems like a swift end given how much time was spent on the character’s backstory, and how intent Thoros and the others were on bringing Arya to see him. This time, the audience joins the Hound in underestimating Beric. As the Hound walks away Arya screams, “Burn in hell,” only for Dondarrion to miraculously reply, “He will, but not today.”

Which brings us to another major facet of Beric’s character, he’s found religion. Thoros of Myr is a Red Priest devoted to the Lord of Light (just as Melisandre is), and Beric, along with all his followers have converted to Thoros’s religion. For the most part, magic and the supernatural are more talked about than they are present in the world of Game of Thrones, but can be no doubt they’re there, what with the dragons, White Walkers, Melisandre seeing the future and surviving poisoned wine. Thoros brings Beric back to life after the Hound kills him. It’s the sixth time he’s died, and he’s got the scars to prove it. I’m willing to bet even the most steadfast atheists would convert to a religion if one of its priests brought them back to life six times. There’s a but to all this not being able to die business, however, there’s always a but. Beric’s been revived from death six times, but he’s not the same when he comes back, plus it’s getting harder and harder for Thoros to do. As Beric puts it, “Every time I come back, I’m a bit less. Pieces of you get chipped away.”

The Comedy Central Roast of Cersei Lannister

The hunter becoming the hunted theme appears in a far more figurative manner in the case of Cersei Lannister. She has a meeting with Tywin in which she  demands more responsibility and power, complaining that she’s constantly overlooked because of her gender, or so she believes. She asks, “Did it ever occur to you that I might be the one who deserved your confidence of your trust? Not your sons, not Jaime and Tyrion but me. Years and years of lectures on family and legacy, the same lecture really, with tiny, tedious variations. Did it ever occur to you that your daughter might be the only one listening to them, living by them, that she might have the most to contribute to your legacy, that you love so much more than your actual children?” Tywin, in the most awesomely condescending manner possible, responds, “Alright, contribute.” Cersei goes on to gripe that the Tyrells are a problem, despite the fact that they helped defeat Stannis and saved Cersei’s life and the lives of all her children, because “Margaery has her claws in Joffrey. She knows how to manipulate him.”

That’s when Tywin breaks out the big guns. “Good,” he replies, “I wish you knew how to manipulate him.” That’s fucking boom number one. Then comes “I don’t distrust you because you’re a woman, I distrust because you’re not as smart as you think you are.” That counts as fucking booms number two and three. Why? Because that’s the exact same insult Cersei used against Tyrion back in the season premier. Tywin goes on to say, “You’ve allowed that boy to ride roughshod over you and everyone else in this city,” which we’ll call fucking boom number four. This is everything I’m sure most every viewer has wanted to scream at Cersei every time she acts like the sharpest tool in the shed or claims her gender, not her incompetence, is the only reason she hasn’t been given more power. Let’s also note that the underestimation theme is subverted in this scene. First in Cersei’s enormous overestimation of her abilities and Tywin’s frank explanation of how those “abilities” appear in reality.

Cersei’s roasting (or being hunted) continues in “Kissed by Fire.” She takes absolute delight in watching as Tywin informs Tyrion he is to wed Sansa Stark to prevent the Tyrell plot of wedding her to Ser Loras, and grant them the key to the North. Of course, she’s not excited about her brother’s engagement as a normal sister would be, she’s simply there to see Tyrion squirm and enjoy his discomfort and futile counterarguments. Or so she thinks. Just when she reaches the peak of her ecstatic enjoyment of her brother’s torment, Tywin turns to reveal she too will be wed, and to none other than Ser Loras Tyrell. It’s a table turning on a number of levels. There’s the obvious: the very thing she enjoys watching her brother suffer through happens to her as well. But there’s also the way Tywin is using her own words against her. She said herself that the Tyrells are a problem, and wedding her to one will solve it. Like Tyrion, she hopelessly tries to talk her way out of it, but this is Tywin Lannister she’s arguing with. There is no victory to be had.

A Few More Things: 

There were quire a few more fantastic plotlines in these two episodes, but I’m nearing four thousand words here, so I’ll attempt to relate them to the aforementioned themes in a single paragraph. The ever-scheming Littlefinger is out-schemed when it’s revealed Ros is playing informant for Varys—which is also an example of a character underestimating another. We also get a Varyzation of the hunter becoming the hunted as Varys has the sorcerer who removed his testicles in a box. Tyrion can only hope to be as successful as Varys in seeking justice for the attempt on his life by a member of the Kingsguard—likely ordered by his sweet sister Cersei. Sansa tries to rebel against her oppresors by seeking to escape King’s Landing either secretly with the Littlefinger’s help or through the Tyrell plot to marry Loras. Finally, Theon, who unsuccessfully hunted the younger Stark boys (but settled for slaying a couple of orphans) literally plays out the most dangerous game when he escapes captivity with the help of a character whose name remains unknown only to end up right back where he started. Speaking of that unnamed character, he claims to be a commoner, yet he clearly refers to Theon as “my lord,” not “m’lord.” Let’s not forget Arya and Tywin’s conversation from last season.

Again, apologies for the lateness. I’ll be back tomorrow with a review of tonight’s episode. 

Note: With the biggest cast in television it can be hard to keep all the names and faces straight. Thus the first mention of each character contains a link to a picture of them which will open in a new tab.

You’re nothing without your daddy and your daddy ain’t here. 

We’ve been joking for a while now that Jaime and Brienne’s road-trip buddy comedy would bring them closer together. These two polar opposites would begin to think maybe they’re not so different, underneath it all. But how? Their final scene in last week’s episode seemed to offer the simplest possible answer to that question: introduce a common enemy, force them to work together.They were captured by Locke, one of Roose Bolton’s loyal soldiers.

Wait a minute, you say, Jaime and Brienne aren’t banding together to escape their captivity. Far from it. They remain as boorish and brusque in their interactions as ever. Jaime tries to use his father’s influence to win Locke over, telling him to look at things rationally: the North doesn’t have the manpower or the gold to win the war, switch to the winning side and Tywin Lannister will reward you with lands, gold, women, and perhaps some golden women. Locke’s not hearing any of it though, and his response is the closest thing this episode has to a unifying theme: “You’re nothing without your daddy and your daddy ain’t here.” And then? Boom goes the dynamite! I mean, off comes the hand! I spoke last week about the feeling of wholeness that was clear in Jaime’s eyes and body language as soon as he got Brienne’s sword in his hands (almost like I knew something like this was coming). “He moves about and casually swings the sword like it’s a part of his arm. It’s been ages since he held a sword, meaning it’s been ages since he felt whole.” And now he’s lost the appendage that allows him this feeling permanently. Jaime may be nothing without his daddy, but he’s even less without his sword hand.

Alright, you’re saying, but what does any of that have to do with Jaime and Brienne banding together in the long-term? Well, Jaime got his punishment despite his fancy words. Brienne did not, and while her daddy rescuing her would surely sound like a good idea, it is not Selwyn Tarth who saves her but Jaime’s fancy words. He convinces Locke that his cause would be better served if Brienne’s honor remains “unbesmirched,” because Brienne is from Tarth, which they call the “Sapphire Isle.” He assures him that returning Brienne safely will net Locke her weight in sapphires. He does all this before he makes his play, before it fails, he’s still working under the assumption that just saying the name Tywin Lannister will get him what he wants. That means Jaime tried to save Brienne for no other reason than—dare I say it—compassion. Could it be? Character development! Hurrah! Next week, Jaime will be the one in pain, the one unable to defend himself. Will Brienne leap to his aide? Could this be the beginning of a beautiful friendship?

Tywin be errbody’s daddy

Meanwhile in the capital, we get our first glimpse of a Small Council meeting with Tywin in charge. Luckily for Tyrion and Cersei, they’ve still got their daddy around.  But they’re not the only ones. Tywin seems to be serving as a surrogate daddy for Littlefinger, Varys, and Pycelle to boot. At the very least, Tywin’s the most powerful guy around, and everybody knows it. That’s why his presence at the head of the table is just as commanding as Dad’s when he sat down for dinner. But it’s more than that. Everyone knows what they want, but they need Tywin to get it, and the way they react to the game of musical chairs around the table wordlessly sums up each of their desires in relation to Tywin and each other.

Littlefinger, the powergrabber, brushes by Varys to take the seat on Tywin’s left hand, while the reserved Varys and the obedient Pycelle take the middle and far seats, respectively. It’s clear Tywin set the room up how he did on purpose. Cersei is the first one to defy his intentions by dragging her chair to the other side and taking her “rightful” place at Tywin’s right hand. She is saying, in so many words (or more accurately, none) that she is Tywin’s true heir, his equal. She knows it, but unfortunately no one else will recognize it because of her stupid vagina. Finally, I’ve got two possible interpretations of Tyrion’s decision to drag a chair to the end of the table opposite his father. Is he, trying to gain his father’s respect by saying, much like Cersei, that he’d be recognized as his father’s true son if not for his physical deformities? Could be, but having two characters say the same thing (even if it’s wordlessly) seems beneath this show. No, I think he’s trying to show Tywin and the rest that he’s not playing their game but one of his own devising with his own rules, and it’s got naught to do with Tywin or anyone else’s expectations.

I’m going to make this very clear: your daddy ain’t here. Because this is his funeral. 

We just spent a lot of time talking about a scene that got across everything we needed to know and more without a word being spoken. Well, guess what, we’re about to talk about another one. Robb, Catelyn and most of the northern army has returned to the Tully’s ancestral castle of Riverrun site of the viking funeral for Hoster Tully, father to Cat and the newly-introduced Edmure and brother to the Blackfish. As his father’s corpse floats downstream, Edmure attempts to ignite the funeral boat with a flaming arrow and misses. He notches and draws another, and misses again. He does it a third time, ending in his third miss. The Blackfish grabs the bow from him, and casually flings an arrow onto the boat despite it being nearly out of eyesight. That’s all you need to know about these characters right there, as we find out in the next scene.

Edmure expects to be congratulated for taking the fight to a host of Lannister men and routing them, despite Robb’s specific orders to hold the line and wait for the enemy to come to them. It seems Robb had a fantastic plan worked out to corner Gregor Clegane and put an end to him once and for all until Edmure went and screwed it up.

It’s hard to miss the daddy motif when you’re literally watching the funeral of a major character’s daddy. Every scene Cat’s in, from the funeral to her monologue about waiting for Hoster to return from wars and trips to the capital, a luxury Bran and Rickon will never again experience, screams “You’re nothing without your daddy and you’r daddy ain’t here.” The same rubs off on Robb, although perhaps not in such great fashion. Obviously, Robb’s daddy ain’t here, it’s the cause of almost every plot thread we’re involved in. But that’s nothing new, the absence of Eddard has been driving Robb forward since before they removed his head from his shoulders.

Gang of Three becomes Gang of Two

As is the case with Robb, Eddard’s absence has been a major motivating factor for Arya (as well as his other children, namely Bran and Jon Snow). Arya’s brief interlude this week has some parallels with Jaime’s. She’s the prize captive of the Brotherhood without Banners, a gang of, well, what are they? Outlaws, sure, but the rape and pillage kind or the Robin Hood kind? Hot Pie is allowed to leave the Brotherhood’s captivity because the innkeep wants him as a cook, and the Brotherhood says fine because Hot Pie is of no value to them. Arya, on the other hand, is a Stark, a valuable commodity. The Brotherhood is sure to be richly rewarded if they can return the girl to her family (or even more richly rewarded if they bring her to the Lannisters, it remains unclear just who they’re fighting for, if anyone). Of course, if Eddard had never died neither Arya or the Brotherhood would’ve ended up where they are now, although the fact that her daddy ain’t there isn’t any more important now than any other time since his death. Anyhow, Gendry and Arya continue down the path to wherever they’re going, and the Hound is along for the ride. Should be a doozy.

Champion of Abolition Trades Dragon for Slaves?

Like some other characters we’ve discussed here, the absence of Dany’s father has been a major force in her life. It wouldn’t be unfair to say it is the major force in her life. After all, she is the last of her line, and her life’s work has been returning to her rightful throne. Here in the present, Dany is intent on buying Unsullied, awesome slave soldiers who feel no pain. She tells the slave dealers she wants all 8000 Unsullied, as well as the half-trained boys. But they retort that even if she sold her ship, all her gold and possessions, and her Dothraki followers into slavery, she could afford only 23 Unsullied. But Dany is intent on buying them all, so she uses the only bargaining chips she has left: she offers them a dragon. Her devoted knights Jorah Mormont and Barristan Selmy immediately, well, flip the fuck out. She later chastises them, saying she appreciates their honest counsel in private, but that they must never question her in public. Pretty queenly if I do say so myself. The only question that remains is whether Dany truly intends to sell a dragon for some (admittedly awesome) slave soldiers. Dany, the show’s greatest champion of abolition, is going to sacrifice one of three living dragons for slaves, tacitly supporting that institution which she purports to hate so much. Could that really be what’s going on? That’s for me to know and you to find out (or you can get to work reading the books). All I’m going to say is don’t count anything out either way. Could you have predicted Jaime’s hand was coming off this week? Of course not. So anything could happen when we return to Astapor.

A Few More Things:

-Scenes we couldn’t get to: 1) Jon and Mance find endless horse heads arranged in a spiral shape by the “artists” currently known as White Walkers at the Fist of the First Men. All the men who died there are Wights now.

2) Sam and what’s left of the Night’s Watch return to Craster’s Keep, where he discovers that Gilly has given birth to a boy.

3) Theon escapes with the help of a man who claims to be in league with his sister. When guards catch up to him, the same man saves him yet again. Who is this guy? Is he for real?

4) Melisandre is going away and Stannis is going to miss her.

-Oh yeah, the actual purpose of that meeting is that Tyrion is the new Master of Coin while Littlefinger travels to the Eyrie in an attempt to woo Lysa Arryn.

-The scene regarding Pod’s ostensible sexual exploits was humorous, but I’m hoping it comes back to have some further purpose later on.

-Riverrun makes its first appearance in the title sequence.

-Tobias Menzies was fantastic as Brutus in Rome, and I’m sure he’ll be a great Edmure Tully, but he’s got a suspicious lack of red hair. Just saying.

-Arya asks the Hound if he recognizes this inn. He doesn’t. It’s the same spot where he killed Mycah, the butcher’s boy, in season one.

-”Rhaegar fought valiantly, Rhaegar fought nobly, and Rhaegar died.”

-One of Pod’s whores could perform a “Mereneese knot.” Ha!

Check out the preview for next week’s episode below and follow the writer on Twitter @NateKreichman.

Note: With the biggest cast in television it can be hard to keep all the names and faces straight. Thus the first mention of each character contains a link to a picture of them which will open in a new tab.

After the season premiere, “Valar Dohaeris,” got us caught up with all our favorite characters, this week’s episode was devoted to table-setting. Or, well, it would’ve been if this was any other show. Instead, “Dark Wings, Dark Words” began placing all those narrative dominoes for the characters lucky enough to appear in both episodes while embarking on the same “hey, remember these guys?” quest for Arya, Bran, and the rest of the folks we’d yet to see.

As we all know by now, Game of Thrones has a sprawling world and the biggest cast on TV, but despite it being nigh impossible, the writers are generally able to link all those storylines with a shared episodic theme. In the case of “Valar Dohaeris,” which is high valyrian for “all men must serve,” that theme was the idea of servitude. We got no such link this week, but that doesn’t mean the writers couldn’t find a way to bounce gracefully between all those separate characters and locations. It wasn’t so fancy as a shared theme, however. Instead, the characters in one scene would mention somebody’s name, and then we’d be whisked away thousands of miles to see what they’re up to. One scene for instance was centered around Robb and Catelyn, but when they brought up Theon Greyjoy, suddenly we’re in some dungeon watching the dude get tortured. The same concept was utilized throughout the episode, and while it’s less seamless than a fancy thematic connection, it got the job done.

Bran Makes a Friend (or Two)

Things begin inside Bran’s head. The Three-Eyed Raven (or Crow for my fellow book readers, yeah, I don’t know why they changed that either) has shown up in his dreams again. He attempts to shoot it with an arrow, complete with the same encouragement he got from Jon, Robb, and his father while practicing marksmanship way back in the pilot. Bran misses, and a new character shows up to tell him he can’t killed the Crow—er, Raven—because “the Raven is you.” We later discover the new guy is Jojen Reed, son of Howland, one of his brother’s bannermen and his father’s oldest friends (Howland even saved Ned’s life during the Rebellion). Jojen, it seems, knows a thing or two about Bran’s premonitory and wolf-inhabiting dreams. He experiences the former himself and knows enough about the latter that he can help Bran take control of his skinchanging abilities. Sounds like a pretty good friend to have if you ask me.

Meanwhile, Jojen’s sister, Meera, and Osha have an unexpected bonding of the warrior women moment. Osha mocks Jojen for needing his sister to protect and do the fighting for him, to which Meera responds, “Some people will always need help. That doesn’t mean they’re not worth helping.” As with so many lines on this show, this one has a double meaning: Meera’s talking about her brother, but she’s also referring to Bran, who they’ve come so far to help. Osha, of course, has already been helping Bran despite the fact that he’ll “always need help” because she’s recognized how special he is.

The Buddy Comedy Continues

I often joked last year that the Jaime and Brienne storyline was reminiscent of a buddy comedy. Just imagine this in a movie trailer voice: When two polar opposites are shackled together—literally—and forced to go on a road trip, anything can happen (insert funny clip), but laughs are certain. Prince Charming and the warrior woman you wouldn’t want to dance with (clip of sword fight, indicating double meaning of dance) are sure to give each other a hard time. But when greater obstacles emerge, will learning about each other lead to learning about themselves? Can the two discover how to play nice, or will their refusal to work together drown them both? Jaime Lannister and Brienne of Tarth star in “The Bear and the Maiden Fair.” Rated R. In theaters four-seven-thirteen.

The Jaime and Brienne scenes don’t offer the same opportunity for exposition and fresh perspectives that their book counterparts do, but that’s a given. The medium makes it tons more difficult and time-consuming, but the writers, directors, and actors have done a fantastic job of letting us inside these character’s heads without actually letting us inside their heads. The way Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Jaime) delivers a line like “I don’t blame him, and I don’t blame you either. We don’t get to choose who we love,” really underscores the depth of his love for Cersei, just as Brienne’s reaction to his earlier crack about Renly’s homosexuality shows us the way she felt about her king. Likewise, when Jaime yanks one of Brienne’s swords away, his smile and body language say it all. He moves about and casually swings the sword like it’s a part of his arm. It’s been ages since he held a sword, meaning it’s been ages since he felt whole.

It’s exactly this kind of character defining moment that gets them in trouble with those Bolton men. Jaime’s impudence in starting a fight certainly made it easier to find them. But they’re truly caught because after coming across a seemingly-innocent fellow traveler, the ultra-honorable Brienne assumed he was just that, innocent, and let him walk. Jaime, on the other hand, is looking out for number one. He insists the man recognized him and argues that they should kill him either way just to be safe. In the end, it’s Brienne’s honor that gets them a ticket to see Roose Bolton at Harrenhal.

Sansa’s Date with the Tyrells

Meanwhile in King’s Landing, Sansa is invited to dine with Margaery Tyrell, the queen to be, and her grandmother Olenna Tyrell, also known as the “Queen of Thorns.” The date isn’t just about lemon cakes and compliments, however. With Margaery now betrothed to Joffrey, the Tyrells want to know what the king is like, and who better to ask but his former beau? At first, Sansa believes she’s being set up, having learned that the king (and Queen Regent) have ears everywhere the hard way. But this is no trick. Margaery is far more in tune with political realities and the ways of the world than Sansa was when she first arrived at court, no doubt thanks to her prickly grandmother being unafraid to call bullshit—on anyone or anything. The Tyrells have heard some nasty rumors about Joff, and they want to know if there’s any truth behind them.

It takes a bit of prodding, but they finally get Sansa to speak. “He’s a monster,” she says. But that won’t affect their course of action. Margaery will marry Joffrey (her father, or the “Lord Oaf of Highgarden” as his mother calls him) regardless, she simply wants to do so with her eyes open. We’ve known from the very beginning that Marge is a player, not a pawn, and the way she “seduces” Joffrey by feigning interest in his phallic crossbow makes that clear (if a sword is an extension of Jaime’s arm, than that crossbow is an extension of Joff’s dick). Even more impressive, however, is the effect Margaery seems to be having on Joffrey even when she’s not around. King Douche has made it increasingly clear that his mother, Cersei, is no longer the number one queen on the charts or in his heart. That probably won’t make her any more of a jealous, controlling psycho.

Arya Stark and the Brotherhood without Banners, with Special Guest The Hound

When the camera finds its way to Arya for the first time this season, she, Gendry, and Hot Pie are trying to find her grandfather’s castle, Riverrun, and hoping her brother and mother are inside its walls. As they wander about the Riverlands, they discuss their most recent fun-filled activity: the escape from Harrenhal with the help of Jaqen H’ghar. In a fantastic bit of Lampshade Hanging, Gendry wants an explanation for something many of us have been wondering ourselves: “He offered to kill any three people you wanted. Dead. All you had to do was give him the names. Anyone. You could have picked King Joffrey. You could have picked Tywin Lannister… You could have ended the war.” Arya tells him to shut up about it because they got out of Harrenhal and that’s all that matters. For Gendry, myself, and the rest of the fans who are wondering why Arya didn’t just say “Joffrey Baratheon,” my explanation may not be entirely satisfying. But it’s correct from a narrative standpoint.

Badass though she might be, Arya is still a child. It may be harder for her to understand big-picture stuff like ending the war with a whisper when the people around her are being tortured and dying. Her first selection was the Tickler for two reasons: First, she hadn’t seen Jaqen deliver yet. In that position, offering the Tickler is a win-win (or more accurately a win-draw). If Jaqen does follow through, the man directly responsible for the captives’ lives being a living hell will be no more. If he’s bullshitting her, then things stay exactly as they are. OK, so once she knows Jaqen’s legit, why doesn’t she give up Tywin? Recall the situation at Harrenhal before Tywin arrived: the torture, execution, incarceration, and so on. Tywin arrives and takes the prisoners out of a cage and puts them to work. Gendry is back to banging an anvil, Hot Pie is back to baking hot pies, and Arya recieves a pretty comfy position as his personal cupbearer. She may have feared that Tywin’s death would have meant a return to the way things were. Furthermore, she formed an odd kind of father-daughter bond with the man over the course of the season. So she waits, and uses the second kill to save her own skin when Amory Lorch discovers she’s stolen a message from Tywin’s chambers. By the time she puts it together that killing Tywin kills the Lannister war effort, it’s too late. So she uses Jaqen’s rules against him so that he’ll help them escape. Now, back to season three.

So Arya and company cross paths with Thoros of Myr and the rest of his cohorts in the Brotherhoood without Banners. Although Thoros claims that while “The Lords of Westeros want to burn the countryside. We’re trying to save it,” it’s not immediately clear if he’s telling the truth or if the trio are being kidnapped by your standard gang of outlaws. I don’t want to reveal too much, we’ll doubtlessly get a lot more information on the Brotherhood in the coming weeks, but I think it’s clear by episode’s ends that Thoros’ boast is closer to the truth than the outlaw argument (but as always there are no blacks and whites in Game of Thrones, only shades of grey). The Brotherhood has captured Sandor Clegane, the Hound, and he’s the one that reveals Arya’s identity. Even if the Brotherhood are closer to “good guys” than “bad guys,” they still need to seize an opportunity when it comes to them, and ransoming a daughter of one of the most powerful houses in the kingdoms is a hell of an opportunity. It’s a bold strategy, Cotton, let’s see if it works out for ‘em.

A Few More Things: 

Here’s a quick rundown of the scenes/characters we didn’t get to cover:

1) Robb heads for Riverrun to attend his maternal grandfather’s funeral while Roose Bolton is left to garrison Harrenhal. He and Catelyn receive some bad news: Theon and the Ironmen (ostensibly) razed Winterfell and murdered Bran and Rickon before bolting back to the Iron Islands. But wait, that doesn’t fit with what we saw happen in last season’s finale, nor with Theon being tortured. What’s really going on?

-Catelyn discusses a young Jon Snow in a fantastic monologue. Or rather, it would’ve been fantastic if it gelled at all with what we know of her character thus far. A great actress puts on a great show, but that seems to be all it has to offer. I get that there are a lot of characters and not enough monologues to go around. But despite being well-written and well-acted, the inconsistency makes it seem like a self-indulgent waste of screentime.

2) One of the men present for said torture tells claims he was sent by Theon’s sister, Yara. Can he be trusted? Is he friend or foe?

3) Shae warns Sansa about Littlefinger, and later converses with Tyrion about protecting her. At least one person in this list is smart enough to realize that people and things may not always be as they seem.

4) King Joffrey Baratheon, first of his name, or your weekly proof that “there’s no cure for being a cunt.”

5) Jon Snow and Mance Rayder have a little chat about how he got so many diverse tribes to follow him south. It’s simple really, they’ll die if they don’t.

6) Meanwhile, Sam is exhausted as the remaining members of the Watch begin the trudge back to the Wall. He takes a break, seeing more benefit in dying than taking another step. But he’s able to get moving with some help from his friends, along with a direct order from the Old Bear, “I command you not to die.” Does the Watch need every last man, or does Mormont have big plans for young Mr. Tarly?

And some random musings:

-In general, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau has put on a fantastic English accent throughout the series. You might never have guessed he was Danish… until this week. A few of his early lines this week were just… off. His Scandinavian roots managed to seep through a bit.

-Holy puberty, Branman

-For those who don’t know, the episode’s title, “Dark Wings, Dark Words” refers to a common saying in the show’s universe. Messages are carried to far away castles by raven in Westeros. The idea behind the phrase is that more often than not, the birds (and their dark wings) bring bad news (dark words).

Check out the preview for next week’s episode below and follow the writer on Twitter @NateKreichman.

Note: With the biggest cast in television it can be hard to keep all the names and faces straight. Thus the first mention of each character contains a link to a picture of them which will open in a new tab.

Each of Game of Thrones‘ first two seasons followed a structural pattern, one which will be repeated in the newest season. Episode nine, of course, brings us the season’s “woah moment.” Whether it’s Ned Stark losing a head or the Battle of Blackwater Bay (not to mention the doozy they’ve got in store this year), episode nine leaves the story forever altered. The finales that follow are dedicated to picking up the pieces. Episode ten shows each character’s reaction to the “woah moment,” cramming in conclusions and cliffhangers—the beginnings of the plotlines to come. Each season’s premiere, then, is about picking up where we left off and setting the table for where we hope to go, building on the foundations laid in the previous season’s finale (yes, even season one was building on “a previous season,” the events that came before it just happen to be a hypothetical one we didn’t get to see firsthand). The call and response of the show’s finales and premieres echo the necessary warm-up phase in each subsequent installment of George R.R. Martin’s “A Song of Ice and Fire.”

It shouldn’t come as a tremendous surprise then that the titles of last season’s finale, “Valar Morghulis,” and yesterday’s premiere, “Valar Dohaeris,” are also a call and response. In many places on the continent of Essos, Valar Morghulis is a customary saying, traditionally answered by Valar Dohaeris. The former translates to all men must die in High Valyrian, the latter to all men must serve. With so many widespread and disparate storylines, it’s often difficult to find a single recurring theme in an episode of Game of Thrones. The closest you’ll come in the premiere can be found in the translation of its title: the all encompassing nature of service in the world of the show. Or, as Bob Dylan put it, everybody’s “Gotta Serve Somebody.”

Beyond the Wall

Everyone remembers the exciting ending of the second season: Three horn blasts and Sam coming face-to-face with a White Walker on a dead horse leading a hoard of Walkers and Wights. It’s no surprise then that “Valar Dohaeris” picks up right where we left off in the series’ first cold open. Now as we all know, full-on battle scenes are expensive. Most of last season’s budget went towards “Blackwater.” Most. Towards one episode. It detracts from the episode’s potential for action, but as I’ve mentioned premieres are meant for table setting, and the producers have plenty of things to spend money on more important than this one battle. So as we’ve seen numerous times throughout the series, we get what amounts to a fade to black, the ringing of swords, and fade back in just in time for the plot to move forward. Immediately after rescuing Sam, Lord Commander Mormont asks if he sent the ravens, and berates him when he finds out he didn’t, saying, “That was your job, your only job.” Recall the theme of servitude, Sam is a man of the Watch, and in this at least he has failed in his duties. With only a fraction of the men of the Watch who left for the ranging still breathing, Mormont announces that they need to return to the Wall: “It’s a long march. We know what’s out there, but we have to make it, have to warn them, or before winter’s done, everyone you’ve ever known will be dead.” Such is the duty of the men of the Watch, they serve the kingdoms, they are “the shield that guards the realms of men.”

Meanwhile, Jon is brought before Mance Rayder, the King Beyond the Wall. At first, Jon kneels before Tormund Giantsbane, mistaking him for Mance because the large, gruff warrior is the type of man Jon is used to serving. But the Free Folk are not like the people of Westeros, they kneel for no man, king or otherwise, and choose their own rulers—the title of King Beyond the Wall is not necessarily inherited. Recall that Jon’s idol and former commander Qhorin Halfhand compelled the boy to slay him to gain the Wildlings’ trust, so he could spy on them and bring all he discovers back to The Wall. Jon tells Mance that he’s turning his cloak because he wants to “fight for the side that fights for the living,” but in his heart, Jon still believes the Night’s Watch is that side. Moving forward, the question will be whether the time Jon spends with the Free Folk reinforces this belief or places it in jeopardy. Is Jon a double agent, or a double-double agent?

The Impire Strikes Back

Tyrion fell from grace last season after a member of the Kingsguard attempted to kill him during the Battle of the Blackwater. He believes this was done on Cersei’s orders but has no way to prove it. Regardless, the knight was killed by Tyrion’s squire, Podrick Payne, before he could inflict any more damage than a nasty slash across the face. Tyrion was moved to a dank cell to recover from his wounds while his father, Tywin, claimed his former title and chambers in the Tower of the Hand. What’s more, Tyrion is given very little credit for their victory while his father is proclaimed Savior of the City.

Tyrion served king and family loyally, going above and beyond the call of duty. He did this in spite of the fact that most of his family hates (or at least resents) him. Cersei despises him to such a degree that she sent an assassin to kill him in the heat of battle. Yet far from being covered in glory like his father, Tyrion appears to have been punished more than anything else. So in the premiere, he resolves to visit Tywin and ask what the reward for all his loyal service will be. At first, he asks simply for a bit of gratitude, to which his father responds “Jugglers and singers require applause.” Although he never dreams his father will actually give it to him, what Tyrion really wants is his birthright, Casterly Rock, the seat of House Lannister. Like the Night’s Watch, the Kingsguard pledge not to hold lands or father children, so Jaime is technically ineligible (although he’s already done the latter, you know, with his sister). But while Tywin is willing to grant his son a suitable wife and a position fit for his talents, he says that “I would let myself be consumed by maggots before mocking the family name and making you heir to Casterly Rock.” This fierce rebuke brings to mind a question which runs throughout the episode: At what point does giving oneself over to a cause, to service, mean forfeiting those qualities that make one unique or even individual? I’ve mentioned that in the most ridiculously general of terms, Tyrion is the “good guy” on the “bad team,” and his service leads to that clash. Every man has his breaking point, will Tyrion remain the loyal soldier (literally and otherwise) or be forced to rebel?

Return of The Onion (Knight)

One of last season’s biggest cliffhangers was whether Davos Seaworth had survived the ruin of his ship in Blackwater Bay. Things got a little dire when he failed to pop up in the season finale, but a good rule of thumb while watching Game of Thrones (and other shows) is that unless you see someone die with your own two eyes, they may not necessarily be dead. Few men are more loyal to anything than Davos is to Stannis, who raised him up from low birth and a life of smuggling. Stannis, meanwhile, remains loyal to his cause: He believes himself the one true king, and that means two possible endings: He gains his birthright or dies trying. The toll that steadfastness (among other things, like fathering shadow demons) has taken on Stannis is apparent when Davos arrives on Dragonstone. The king has grown a beard, his hair is graying, and he refuses all visitors, save Melisandre. A commonly repeated idea for Davos is that “loyal service means telling hard truths.” He cannot stand idly by as Melisandre burns prisoners and non-believers alive, and her grip on his king grows tighter and tighter. When she whispers in his ear the same thing she told his now-deceased son, “death by fire is the purest death,” Davos loses it. He pulls out a dagger and attempts to slay the red priestess, an action he believes analogous to telling his king a hard truth. But he fails, and his king condemns him to a dungeon cell. Yet another victim of loyal service.

Daenerys’ New Hope?

Daenerys begins the episode on a ship bound for Astapor. Before she leaves the vessel we see more effects of service as her Dothraki followers (who come from a culture of people who have never set foot on a boat and fear salt water) vomit and stumble around. In the slave city of Astapor, both Dany and the viewer are treated to a glimpse of the Unsullied: eunuch warriors picked as boys for their rigorous training. They lose the ability to feel pain or fear as well as any sense of self. They know only obedience, and understand only duty. The Unsullied are an explicit display of the extremes of the above-mentioned notion that loyal service and individuality are conflicting ideals. Like Stannis, Dany serves her own cause: placing herself on the Iron Throne. She cannot do so without an army, and the Unsullied are among the world’s greatest warriors. Dany, however, is slavery’s greatest enemy. Yet another way individuality can slip away is when one’s ideals are sacrificed for the good of a cause. Is it possible for Dany to remain true to herself if she brings an army of 8,000 slave warriors, each of whom has killed an infant in front of its mother as part of their training, under her command?

As she is walking back to her ship, a little girl/Warlock assassin attacks Dany with the help of some trickery and a manticore. In a sequence that seemed to go over the top in its parallels to the introduction of Obi-Wan Kenobi in the first Star Wars movie (hence the section title references), she is rescued by a man we have not seen in a long time: Ser Barristan Selmy, who was removed from Joffrey’s Kingsguard way back in season one. When Ser Barristan asks for a place in Dany’s Queensguard, both Dany and Jorah appear skeptical, and the latter points out that Ser Barristan served King Robert Baratheon as well. Barristan claims he wants to redeem himself for failing King Aerys II, her father and the last of the Targaryen dynasty to sit the Iron Throne, and making the mistake of serving King Robert while forgetting the “true” Queen. Whether Ser Barristan is truly loyal to Dany’s cause or wishes to serve her for personal reasons (recall his speech after Joffrey fired him, “I am a knight, I will die a knight”) remains ambiguous. Either way, it speaks volumes about the theme of servitude that this man would cross two continents to serve either “the one true queen” or “a ruler who isn’t Joffrey.”

Family Dinner

Although it may be harder to connect to the service theme, Joffrey and Cersei’s dinner scene with Margaery and Loras Tyrell was the highlight of the episode for me. It was a microcosm of the scheming and political intrigue that lie at the show’s heart. It begins when Joffrey, whose motto is “the king can do as he likes,” watches as Margaery gives toys and food to boys at an orphange, sons of men killed in the Battle of the Blackwater. I still can’t figure out whether that look on his face, one denoting a complete inability to comprehend what he’s seeing, is more funny or sad. Why would she help poor people, he wonders, why does she care? Joffrey couldn’t give two shits what the smallfolk think of him. He’s their king, they should worry what he thinks of them, or it’ll be off with their heads.

One person whose opinion does matter to Joffrey, however, is that of Margaery, his new bride to be. Cersei tells the story of the riot to warns Margaery of the dangers of walking around Flea Bottom unprotected (and no doubt put a bit of fear in her, everything Cersei says at the dinner table can be interpreted in more than one way). Joff postures and acts tough, saying their lives were never really danger. Cersei responds that Joff “is his father’s son, we can’t all have a king’s bravery.” Whether she means his father, Jaime, or his “father,” Robert, is impertinent, it works both ways and she may even have intended it as such. My favorite part of the scene came after Margaery describes all the food her family is bringing into the city to help the common people (and gain their trust over the Lannisters). Once again, Joff postures, and talks about how Margaery “has done this sort of… charitable work before.” The way he struggles to find the word “charitable,” as if he’s never used it before and doesn’t entirely understand what it means was hilarious. Cersei is quick to agree that she is sure Margaery knows what she’s doing. Once again the words have a double meaning: Cersei realizes that Margaery is helping the poor, sure, but she’s also playing the game of thrones, gaining the love and trust of the smallfolk for herself and her family. What Cersei may find even more offensive, however, is that Margaery has become her competitor for the king’s love and admiration.

A Few More Things:

-Meanwhile: Robb arrives at Harrenhal to find “two hundred Northmen slaughtered like sheep.” He places Catelyn under a medieval form of house arrest. Among the dead they find a harmless looking old man named Qyburn. Remember the name.

-Also: Littlefinger and Sansa discuss his plan to help her escape. Is Petyr Baelish the savior Sansa has been waiting for?

-No Arya, Bran, Jaime, or Brienne this week, among many others. Yes, there are really that many characters.

-Cersei remarks that she’d heard Tyrion lost his nose, a reference to the Imp’s far more brutal injury in the books. Pure fan service.

-The way the opening sequence changes based on the story continue to make it the best on TV. Winterfell as a smoldering rubble and the Harpy of Astapor were highlights.

Check out the preview for next week’s episode below and follow the writer on Twitter @NateKreichman.

Note: Because it can be hard to keep all the names and faces straight, the first mention of each character contains a link to a picture of them which will open in a new tab.

Last week’s episode, “Blackwater,” left the finale with a lot to live up to. Setting aside how plain awesome it was, when you spend the entire penultimate episode on a battle in one location, it leaves a lot of story lines to wrap up, especially considering “Game of Thrones” has the largest cast of any show on television.

As a result, the running time of “Valar Morghulis” was extended by ten minutes. That’s still not a whole lot of time to cram so many conclusions and cliffhangers into. The show did an admirable job in its attempt, and in its defense, the last few chapters of “A Clash of Kings” were equally hectic and oversaturated.

Tyrion’s Fall from Grace

Tyrion knew when he came to King’s Landing that it was all temporary, he was only acting Hand of the King. If we didn’t like him so much, we’d sit back, chuckle, and say “oh how the mighty have fallen” (that’s pretty much what Grand Maester Pycelle did). Of course, we love Tyrion, and we know King’s Landing would be rubble without him. But as Varys points out, he will not get the credit he deserves.

The Imp’s fall from grace has already begun. He’s left disfigured after being attacked by Ser Mandon Moore of the Kingsguard, and was moved from the Tower of the Hand to recover in a small, dank chamber in the Red Keep. Tyrion recognizes that Cersei must have ordered the assault, but with no way to prove it and his reign as Hand of the King over, there may not be much he can do about it.

However, Tyrion is still Tyrion, he refuses to run away with Shae because he intends to get his revenge somehow. “In the game of thrones you win or you die,” and Tyrion ain’t dead yet.

The Lion and the Rose, Sansa’s Future

Meanwhile, Tywin has been named Hand and Savior of the City. Of course, he didn’t do it alone. Without House Tyrell and the strength of Highgarden behind them, the Lannisters would have been crushed. As a reward, Margaery is betrothed to Joffrey.

The Lion and the Rose are allies now, but their alliance is tenuous at best. The Tyrells are not as stubbornly honorable as Ned Stark, they know exactly what they’re getting into. We already know Margaery realizes how the game is played, recall that when Renly died, she didn’t want to be “a queen,” she wanted to be “the queen.” If you think she’s something, just wait until you meet Grandma Olenna, also known as the Queen of Thorns (who I really hope is played by Maggie Smith).

Although they’re now on the same side, look for the Tyrells and Lannisters to be fierce competitors and conspirators in the capital. Think of the way Cersei and Tyrion clashed this season minus any concerns about kinslaying and the whole “no matter what I kind of sort of love you” thing.

With Margaery in the picture, Sansa is now free of any obligation to Joffrey, or so she thinks. We saw many times that “Game of Thrones” had perfected the art of the fade from smile to grimace, but Sansa’s walk out of the throne room might be the first time we’ve seen the reverse. Then, she’s back to tears in her eyes and “I’m not good enough for him” when Littlefinger calls to her.

For her part, Sansa’s finally figuring out how to play the game, although, as Lord Baelish points out, she’s not quite as good as she thinks, nor is she off the hook with the king. Luckily for her, Littlefinger offers to help get her home, supposedly because of how much she reminds him of Catelyn. Of course, he’s turned on a Stark before, so we’ll have to wait and see if Sansa’s lucky or “lucky.”

The Buddy Comedy Continues

Brienne and Jaime’s came across three whores killed because “they lay with lions.” It was really cool to see that while we root for the Starks and condemn the Lannisters, not every Stark soldier is as chivalrous as their lords. Both sides are made up of human beings, from the very top down to the lowliest soldier, and groups so large are bound to contain good, evil, and everything in between.

The fun times road trip continues as Jaime and Brienne make their way to King’s Landing. Will it be a classic “we’re so different, seeing your perspective has allowed me to learn so much about the world, others, and myself” scenario, or will they just rip each other’s heads off? Tune in next week, er, next year.

The King (and Queen?) in the North

We’re so often reminded on “Game of Thrones” that when power is inherited, it can fall into the wrong hands. This can be because the heir is young, cruel, or stupid, or a thousand other things. What’s more, such power in the hands of a youth tends to amplify those other traits (I’m looking at you Joffrey).

Likewise, even power falling to a deserving teenager like Robb Stark doesn’t make the powerful any less a teenager. Catelyn warns Robb not to go back on his marriage pact and that Walder Frey is not a man to cross. Robb discards her advice, and goes ahead with it anyway. We’ll have to wait and see what the consequences are.

Winterfell

A Northern army of 500 men led by Roose Bolton’s bastard surrounds Theon and the measly force of 20 that holds Winterfell. Alfie Allen has perfectly captured the way Theon is stuck between a rock and a hard place, or a kraken and a wolf. Maester Luwin points out that Theon is not the man hes pretending to be. Theon agrees, but says he’s come too far to pretend be anything else.

Dagmer and the rest of the Ironmen wait for Theon to give one hell of a speech before knocking him out. Remember Robb’s offer that any Ironborn who surrender will be allowed to go home so long as they hand Theon over? Well, it seems they’ve taken him up on it. But if that’s the case, if they surrendered and Robb’s allies took the castle, why was Winterfell razed to the ground? Yes, why indeed.

Valar Morghulis

Remember when Doreah told Viserys that she’d “seen a man who could change his face the way other men change their clothes?” Well, it seems Jaqen H’ghar is one of those men, and we finally got a bit of an explanation as to why he’s such a badass. Jaqen is a Faceless Man of Braavos, a highly regarded group of assassins. He gave Arya an iron coin and told her if she ever wanted to learn their ways (so she could cross a few more names off her list), she need only give the coin to someone from Braavos and say “Valar Morghulis.” But what does that mean?

Beyond the Wall

A while back, Qhorin recognized that “one brother inside [Mance Rayder's] army is worth a thousand fighting against him.” As a result, he’s been working hard to make Jon out to be a traitor, to get the wildlings to accept him while ensuring that he never forgets what he really is. This week, we saw just how far Qhorin was willing to go to succeed in his mission. Jon would never have been truly accepted unless he did something spectacular, and killing his mentor, a man who’d been a great thorn in the side of the Free Folk for decades, was just the thing. Now Jon’s a wildling, or so it appears. Will he actually be converted or will he remain true to his vows? If it’s the latter, who in the Night’s Watch will believe that he was just a mole all along? After all, he just killed the one other brother in on the plot? Maybe all this doesn’t matter because…

Three horn blasts! That means White Walkers! Samwell is the only one who’s seen them so far, but you’ve got to imagine with an army like that they’ll be hard to miss. As a result, the Night’s Watch will finally know (or should know) what we have all along: that they’re wasting their time squabbling with wildlings, that the true enemy is out there, and they’re going to need every body they can get (there’s a space there because I mean “body” literally), regardless of which side of the Wall they reside on.

The House of the Undying

I could sit here and analyze Dany’s visions in the House of Undying, but even though they were different from the books I don’t think it’d be fair knowing what I do. Instead, lets focus on what’s important, on what we know happened to the last Targaryen after walking the warlocks’ gauntlet.

All season, Daenerys has been telling us shes going to “take what is [hers] with fire and blood.” Like, literally all season. She says that shit a lot, so often in fact that it makes me want to pull my hair out. Anyway, the irony of her catch phrase is that generally while she’s talking smack about “taking,” she’s asking to be given the throne, or at least given the tools to take it. As a result, I’ve often noted that the only thing that separates her from her brother, who was not-so-affectionately known as the “Beggar King,” is that she got lucky and birthed some dragons. It seems to me that the end result of Dany’s trip to the House of the Undying is basically equal to her opening a dictionary and looking up the word “take.” “Ooooh, that’s what it means? Wow, I’ve been doing this all wrong.” You’re goddamn right.

Dany entered the House for one reason, to rescue her dragons. The funny part is they ended up rescuing her. With the help of her visions, Dany finally understands that she is alone. She has no one and no one is going to give her anything for free. All she has is her dragons, all she is is her dragons. They really hit this point hard with the idea that she found Drogo, alive and well, as well as the son she never had, and chose to leave them for the dragons. She recognized that even though it was just a vision, she could’ve stayed there and lived that life, and it might have even made her happy. However, she also recognized that such a life wasn’t good enough, she wanted her dragons, she wants her throne, and now maybe, just maybe, she’s got the mental tools to take it.

This week’s episode was different than most, it had a whole lot of character development and almost no macro-level action. As such, I’m going to be experimenting with something different as well. As usual, the post will largely be divided based on geography, but I’m also going to split some of it based on character and thematic groups. Don’t worry, you’ll see what I mean.

Winterfell

Theon Greyjoy is sure in a pickle. Nobody likes him, he goes from trying to rally the Ironborn to please Robb Stark to attacking the North to please his father. He just can’t win. Anyway, the actors in “Game of Thrones” have perfected the art of fading from smirk to grimace. If you watch the episode again, look for the way Theon’s expression changes as he turns from the people of Winterfell to the horribly burnt bodies of Bran and Rickon Stark. I mean, those bodies are Bran and Rickon, aren’t they?

Well, they might be. Theon did say there was nothing he wouldn’t do to stop himself from looking like a fool and that it’s better to be cruel than weak. Then again, when they mounted Ned’s head on a spike in King’s Landing it was perfectly recognizable, so why go to all the trouble of burning the bodies? Let alone the bodies of two boys Theon once thought of as brothers and whom he clearly still cares for, despite trying oh so hard to act like he doesn’t. And if Theon really did find and kill the boys where are Osha and Hodor (who’d be pretty hard to miss)? That said, this is “Game of Thrones,” we all know anyone can be killed. Maester Luwin was certainly convinced, are you?

Qarth

As I suspected, the dragon-napping was a way for Pyat Pree to get Daenerys into the House of the Undying. Most of you still don’t know what that means, but take my word for it, going there is just about the only interesting thing she does in the second book. As I’ve said her story line is boring, so they’re adding stuff like the dragon-napping and Xaro’s little coup d’état to spice things up a bit. There’s not much else to say other than let’s wait and see where it takes us. Oh, and that Pyat Pree is one creepy motherfucker.

The Lannisters as good guys?

As I’ve often discussed, one of the best things about Game of Thrones is that there are no good guys or bad guys, no heroes or villains, no black or white, only human beings and thus shades of grey. This week’s episode gave us some of the best evidence of this yet, as we got a glimpse into the minds of a number of prominent members of House Lannister. While they’ve done some awful things, the Lannisters are still human, and they’ve undergone many of the same struggles as the characters we love.

Last week, we saw a different side of Tywin when he told Arya about teaching Jaime to read. His humanization continued this week, partly because of the way he told Arya she reminds him Cersei after she said “most girls are idiots.” Like Cersei, Arya has no interest in things that are “meant” for girls, although I’m sure she didn’t take too kindly to being compared to someone one her to-kill list. More importantly however, Tywin actually took steps to protect Arya, who he now believes to be highborn, telling her to say “m’lord” rather than “my lord” if she wants to pass herself off as a commoner. Whether or not Tywin knows who she is specifically remains to be seen.

Tywin is just a man who loves his family, and he’s doing what he can to protect them in the only way he knows how. Humanizing him is one thing, but this week the show actually managed to make Cersei a sympathetic character, a far more daunting task. In her conversation with Sansa, we saw that the two have something in common. Sansa got her first visit from Aunt Flow, which means of course that she is now fit to bear Joffrey’s children, a prospect that once delighted her. After all, it’s the most honorable thing a Queen can do, or so Westerosi culture would have us believe. Similarly, there was a time when Cersei would have been overjoyed at the thought of mothering Robert’s children. However, as time went on both Sansa and Cersei discovered that they hated their betrothed, Robert was a drunkard and Joffrey is a sadistic little prick. As such, Cersei advises Sansa to love only her children, because “the more people you love, the weaker you are.”

There was also her conversation with Tyrion, in which she wonders if Joffrey’s cruelty is the price for the things she’s done, namely fucking her brother. She seems sorry for what’s happened as a result of Joffrey’s refusal to listen to her. As Tyrion put it, “it’s hard to put a leash on a dog once you’ve put a crown on its head.” For a few seconds, she seems genuinely remorseful. I mean, she actually cries, and as much as she hated Robert, she recognizes that while he was a drunken fool, he didn’t enjoy cruelty. If it’s any consolation, Tommen and Myrcella are good, decent children, as Tyrion points out. I suppose two out of three ain’t bad.

Lastly there’s Jaime, another Lannister who’s tough to like. It didn’t exactly help that the Kingslayer used killing his own cousin, who worshiped the ground he walked on, as a means of attempting an escape. However, unlike Ned Stark, who fathered a bastard in Jon Snow (or so we’re lead to believe), Jaime has been with only one woman. Granted, that woman is his sister, but there’s something to be said for that kind of dedicated monogamy in a culture as male-dominated as that of Westeros. Furthermore, his little riff about vows was fantastic, giving us some semblance of justification for the things he’s done. “So many vows, they make you swear and swear. Defend the king, obey the king, obey your father, protect the innocent, defend the weak. But what if your father despises the king? What if the king massacres the innocent? It’s too much, no matter what you do you’re forsaking one vow for another.”

Beyond the Wall

Up north, Jon Snow seems to be learning the same lessons about universal humanity as we are. Last season, in his conversation with Benjen Stark, Tyrion said, “I believe that the only difference between us and the wildlings is that when that Wall went up, our ancestors happened to live on the right side of it.” It seems that Jon confirmed this last night when he told Ygritte about his Stark heritage. He has the blood of the First Men, just as she does, which prompts her to ask why he’s fighting them. A valid question, given what we saw in the first scene of the series. In truth, the people of the seven kingdoms and the wildlings share a common enemy in the white walkers, although few people south of the Wall would believe it. Benjen knew though, his response to Tyrion was, “You’re right. The wildlings are no different from us. A little rougher, maybe. But they’re made of meat and bone. I know how to track ‘em and I know how to kill ‘em. It’s not the wildlings giving me sleepless nights.”

We were also treated to a bit of will they/won’t they. Jon’s vow of chastity is certainly being tested, when they awoke Ygritte asked if he’d pulled a knife on her in the night. Insert “wildling, you make Jon’s heart sing“ and other puns about his “sword in the darkness.”

Winterfell

I for one am not a big fan of drawn out cliffhangers, as such the showrunners handled “the sea coming to Winterfell” very well. As was the case with Renly‘s death they gave us the aftermath right at the beginning of the episode, and what an aftermath it was. To quote Ser Rodrik, “Gods help you Theon [punkass] Greyjoy, now you are truly lost.”

There are no heroes or villains in Game of Thrones, no black and white, only shades of grey. You’ve got to give Alfie Allen credit for the way he’s playing Theon, you can see how unsure he is with every double take, quiver in his voice and tear in his eye. It really sets him apart from someone like Lord Tywin, who is so confident in everything he does.

The whole scene, especially Ser Rodrik’s death, was perfectly executed, pun intended. It really showed just how fiercely loyal the people of the North are to the Starks. The man who calls Theon a “steaming sack of shit” insists he serves the Starks, and right before Ser Rodrik is killed he tells Bran, “Hush now child, I’m off to see your father,” which is enough for him. After he says it he puts his head down and grits his teeth, completely ready to die. It takes Theon more than a couple swings to take Rodrik’s head, another impressive symbolic contrast between he and Ned Stark.

Beyond the Wall

Jon has lost his brothers of the Nights Watch and now has only the wildling woman Ygritte, who he could not bring himself to kill, to keep him company. There was a great parallel between Ygritte’s rubbing up against Jon and Osha seducing Theon. Each used their feminine wiles to get what they needed, Ygritte needed to stay alive (and perhaps convince Jon the free folk aren’t so bad) and Osha needed to escape Winterfell and protect the Stark children. In short, wildling chicks do what they gotta do.

Harrenhal

The interactions between Arya and Lord Tywin were not in the books, but after seeing the two characters’ (and actors’) chemistry, maybe they should have been. When Tywin jokingly tells Arya she should devise their next battle plan, she gets this little smirk on her face that fades into a look of pure terror the moment it’s announced Littlefinger has arrived. Just another brilliant moment for Maisie Williams, who continues to impress. I’m certain Littlefinger recognized Arya. Always a step ahead of everyone else, he’ll save that little tidbit until it’s most valuable. You know: buy low, sell high.

They’ve actually managed to humanize the cold, calculating Tywin, who’s seemingly the only Lannister save Tyrion who knows what the hell he’s doing. His discussion of teaching Jaime to read was fantastic. It goes to show that Tywin is just another man who loves his family; he’s doing what he can to protect them in the only way he knows how.

King’s Landing

While we’re on the subject of incompetent Lannisters, Cersei was her usual bitchy self. She threatened Tyrion for sending Myrcella away, saying, “I want you to know what it’s like to love someone, to truly love someone, before I take her away from you.” All this despite the fact that the princess will be far safer in Dorne than the capital. Sansa’s dilemma showed the dangers of being a noble woman while the common people are starving firsthand. If a bunch of unarmed small folk can wreak such havoc during a riot (they ripped the High Septon limb from limb), imagine what it’d be like with an enemy army knocking on the gates. But then Cersei’s not really one for rationality.

Speaking of the riot, it was another perfectly executed scene. The Hound rescuing Sansa was another great display of the shades of grey. This is the same man who murdered Mycah, the butcher’s boy, in cold blood. But he’s taken a liking to Sansa and was not about to sit idly by as she was raped.

Best of all, Joffrey’s actions in the aftermath of the riot gave Tyrion another opportunity to put that little shit in his place with a number of fantastic lines, and, of course, another slap. After all who doesn’t love to see ol’ King Fuckwad get his bell rung? First, Tyrion said, ”We’ve had vicious kings and we’ve had idiot kings, but I don’t know if we’ve ever been cursed with a vicious idiot one.” Then, when Joff insists his uncle can’t talk to him that way, Tyrion slaps him and follows it with, “And now I’ve struck a king, did my hand fall from my wrist?” Finally, when Joff declares he doesn’t care what happens to Sansa, the Imp says, ”If she dies you’ll never get your uncle Jaime back. You owe him quite a bit you know.” Of course, Jaime killed the Mad King, which led to Joffrey’s rule, not to mention that “uncle Jaime” is actually Joffrey’s father.

Qarth

I for one loved the way the Spice King tore into Daenerys. Her sense of entitlement has reminded me more and more of her brother Viserys than the supposedly great leader she believes herself to be. When she claims she’ll “retake the Iron Throne,” the Spice King interrupts her, saying, “Retake? Did you once sit on the Iron Throne?” Boom. Headshot. Let’s be honest here, what has Daenerys actually done other than (arguably) getting lucky with the whole mother of dragons thing? I swear every time she says, “I am Daenerys Stormborn and I will take what is mine with fire and blood,” I lose 50 percent more interest.

As for the whole dragon napping, that’s another huge deviation from the books. Like many of the changes, I thought it was both necessary and clever. Frankly, Dany’s plot line in A Clash of Kings is pretty boring, so I’ve got no problems with the showrunners trying to spice things up by throwing readers a curveball. Now, since the event didn’t happen in the books, I can’t be sure who stole the dragons or why. However, I suspect it’s to motivate her to go a certain special someplace, where the only interesting thing to happen to her in the entire book occurs. The rest of her plot line might be shit, but that scene is going to be awesome.

Morning Announcements: It’s come to my attention that non-readers (and probably some readers too) have a hard time keeping all the names aligned with their faces. In order to help remedy that problem, the first mention of a character in a post will include a link to a picture of them. 

I almost can’t believe that a show exists where the opening sequence bears discussing week in and week out. But one does in Game of Thrones. No new cities this episode, but as the camera panned from the Wall across the Shivering Sea to Qarth, we actually got an up-close glimpse of the mysterious red comet. Now, all the best shows have incredible attention to detail, but I challenge you to find one that reaches “Throne’s” level in its opening sequence. Moving on.

Renly vs. Stannis, Littlefinger and the Tyrells

Well they certainly didn’t waste any time here, which is a good thing. After leaving us with a cliffhanger last week, not making Renly’s death the opening scene would’ve rustled my jimmies. Now all of us Stark supporters will be left wondering what might have been if Renly and his hundred thousand swords had been able to join forces with Robb against the Lannisters. Stannis is “pure iron, black and hard and strong, yes, but brittle, the way iron gets. He’ll break before he bends.” He will never align with the Starks as long as Robb insists on calling himself the King in the North.

You’ve got to credit the showrunners for the way they handled this. From the preseason trailers they made it seem as though Renly would have a tremendous part to play, which I’m sure made his sudden death that much more surprising. Plus, the CGI was fantastic, the shadow assassin actually looked like Stannis, as it should considering it’s his “son.”

Only Littlefinger knows what Littlefinger’s true motivations are. He knows that war is unpredictable, so he’s trying to be everybody’s friend. Problem is, nobody trusts him. His conversation with Loras and Margaery Tyrell was illuminating for all three characters. Lord Baelish asks Loras what he desires most. Loras responds, “revenge,” which Littlefinger has “always found to be the purest of motivations.” Perhaps a hint as to why he betrayed Ned Stark, who was married to the only woman he’s ever loved, Catelyn.

In this week’s “Inside the Episode,” the showrunners explained that House Tyrell is a “secret matriarchy,” in which the men are “handsome dopes” and the women are the “brains behind the operation.” Littlefinger asks Margaery if she wants to be a queen. “No,” she responds, “I want to be the queen.” Margaery is a saner version of Cersei, she’s not so conniving, but she’s certainly a player in the game of thrones.

King’s Landing

Back in the capital, Tyrion continues his attempts to restore order and institute justice, always quipping as he goes. Lancel tells him of Cersei’s plan to defend the city from siege using wildfire. Tyrion takes control of the plans, knowing that in the wrong hands, the volatile substance is likely to burn the city, and people, it’s meant to protect. On his way to the Alchemist’s Guild, he learns he’s being made a scapegoat for the city’s ills, because it’s easy to blame someone who’s different. Tyrion is incredulous, “Blame me?” he asks, “I’m trying to save them.” Story of his life.

The parallels between both Cersei and Joffrey and Aerys II Targaryen, the “Mad King,” are becoming increasingly clear. Joffrey is quick to punish anyone who questions his reign, or, you know, anyone he feels like punishing, be it Sansa, Ser Dontos, or a lowly bard. And like Cersei, the Mad King had a penchant for paranoia and wildfire. Last season, when asked what Aerys said when he stabbed him in the back, Jaime responded, “He said the same thing he’d been saying for hours. Burn them all.” In the books we learn that Aerys planned to burn the city, and everyone in it, rather than surrender. “Let [Robert] be king over charred bones and cooked meat… Let him be the king of ashes.”

Harrenhal

Arya put her badassery on full display last night. Lord Tywin catches her in a lie about where she’s from, and she’s got the stones to follow it up with another. Then she looks him right in the eye and tells him she doesn’t believe Robb can’t be killed, because “anyone can be killed.” The subtext here is “even you.” She doesn’t even blink.

Then she meets up with Jaqen H’ghar. ”A man owes three. The Red God takes what is his, and only death may pay for life.” Now, she could’ve chosen anyone, King Joffrey, Lord Tywin, Queen Cersei, but she shows her age when she picks the Tickler. She’s still a child, badass though she might be, so she acts on impulse and emotion, picking someone who’s affected her life directly rather than considering an abstract concept such as turning the tide of war. You might ask why she didn’t pick Lord Tywin, given that she’d essentially just told him he was going to die. That’s simple, remember what it was like at Harrenhal before Tywin arrived? For now, he’s doing her more direct good than harm.

Beyond the Wall

Jon Snow and the rest of the men from Castle Black met with Qhorin Halfhand, the closest thing the Night’s Watch has to a legendary warrior, at the Fist of the First Men. Jon’s being groomed for leadership, there are hopes that he’ll be the Lord Commander someday. This process takes patience, which Jon isn’t exactly chock full of. When he asks to be included in Qhorin’s mission, Jeor rebuffs him, but eventually relents.

And of course Dolorous Edd, dolorous as always, provided some comic relief. Sam asks what his fellow black brothers think the first men were like. Edd responds, “Stupid. Smart people don’t find themselves in places like this.” Jon knows better, “they were afraid. I think they came here to get away from something, and I don’t think it worked.”

Qarth

I really can’t give the CGI guys enough credit, considering the relatively minuscule budget they’re working with. Anyway, we saw some interesting culture clash between the Dothraki, Qartheen, and Westerosi customs Dany is surrounded by. It’s clear Irri and the other Dothraki aren’t quite as understanding of the new cultures as Daenerys and Doreah. They really put this on display with the “she is not a princess, she is a khaleesi” line.

Dany met the warlock Pyat Pree, who invited her to the House of the Undying, which is going to be important later on, and Jorah met Quaithe, who shows up from time to time to give cryptic advice. Most importantly, she received news of the war in Westeros and a marriage offer from Xaro Xhoan Daxos. Xaro insists he will give Dany the seven kingdoms, but Jorah says she must take them for herself.

Pyke, Winterfell

Theon is still trying to find his way among the Ironmen, aiding his blood relatives in conquering the North. Their way is the old way, “they don’t do as they’re told, they do as they like.” In order to command his father, and his men’s, respect, Theon must do the same. He hatches a plan to attack Torrhen’s Square, knowing full well that he won’t be able to hold it for more than a few days before the Starks send men to take it back. That will leave Winterfell near unguarded, and then, well, that’s why he’s got that stupid smirk.

Bran is doing his best as the acting Lord of Winterfell. It’s clear things are hitting his brother Rickon, who’s too young to understand why his family has disappeared, hard. We can see him growing wild and unhinged without them.

Bran also tells Osha of his dreams, which have been shown to have some significance in the past. He’s dreamt that “the sea came to Winterfell. I saw waves crashing against the gates. The water came flowing over the walls, flooded the castle. Drowned men were floating here.”

Be sure to check out the preview of next week’s episode.

I don’t think there’s any question that “Garden of Bones” is the best episode of the second season so far. There’s so much to discuss, so let’s just get right into it.

“Game of Thrones” has the best opening sequence on television. Not only is it awesome, it’s educational. We all know that the show has the potential to be very, very confusing. So it’s only fitting that its intro shows a map to help get our geography in order. Each week, any new locations are added into the sequence. This week there was Harrenhal and Qarth, “the greatest city that ever was or will be.”

This intro lets all us fans know that after a week-long wait, it’s finally “Thrones” time again. Sometimes it feels like it would be more appropriate if this was the show’s opening.

The Battlefield

“Garden of Bones” opens with a fart joke… or does it? There was all that buildup just so the guy could “break wind,” or so we thought until another kind of wind, Robb’s direwolf Grey Wind, pounces on them. We see Robb with a number of his men, the screen fades to black and we hear cries of “The King in the North!”

There will be those who complain that many, in fact most, of the battle scenes occur off screen (we all remember Tyrion getting knocked out before the Battle of the Green Fork towards the end of last season). This is going to be a fact of the show, and I’m here to tell you why the haters are wrong.

In the books, Robb is not a point of view character. All we see of him is through Catelyn’s eyes and thus many battles are not witnessed firsthand. Battles are handled similarly in the show, and it’s not an issue. David Benioff and Dan Weiss, the showrunners, are working on a limited budget in terms of both money and time. Let’s consider how much the CGI for the dragons and direwolves must have cost. Do we really want them blowing that money on every little fight? Plus, Weiss and Benioff have 10 episodes to adapt a 1000-page novel. This show is driven by characters, not action or plot. We can’t be wasting valuable screen time on action scenes. I can promise you this: there is only one battle that you need to see this season, and you’ll get every brutal second of it. The author of the books, George R.R. Martin, wrote that episode and they spent a month (as opposed to the standard 10 days) filming it.

When we fade back in, Robb walks around the battle’s aftermath and we’re introduced to Roose Bolton, one of the series’ most ruthless characters. As always, the show does a great job of characterizing Bolton, as well as the differences between his family and the Starks, in just a few lines. Roose tells his king of a Bolton family axiom, “A naked man has few secrets, a flayed man has none.”

Robb is then introduced to a field nurse played by Oona Chaplin (Charlie Chaplin‘s granddaughter), who says her name is Talisa. Reports on Chaplin’s casting indicated she would be playing a character named Jeyne. Readers will know what that means.

The most important part of Robb’s interaction with Talisa/Jeyne in this episode was the way it put war in perspective. For Robb, the fighting is about honor, avenging his father’s death and saving his sisters’ lives. But what about the smallfolk fighting on both sides? They haven’t committed any crimes nor were their lives at stake before they became soldiers. They are but pawns in the game of thrones.

The harsh reality of war and the different ways it affects people depending on social class is a recurring theme in the books. We’re rooting for the Starks, so it’s all too easy to think of the Lannister soldiers as faceless enemies who deserve to be annihilated, the Westeros version of stormtroopers. But as Talisa points out, most of those Robb fights against, like the man who has his foot amputated, have nothing to do with the crimes committed against the Starks.

King’s Landing

There is a line in A Clash of Kings, the second book in the series and the one upon which this season is based, that nicely sums up Tyrion in his role as the good guy on the bad team. Shae asks him what he will do now that he is Hand of the King and Tyrion responds, “Something Cersei will never expect… I’ll do justice.”

This week’s King’s Landing scenes gave a glimpse inside the heads of a number of major characters.

In the first scene, Joffrey commands a member of the Kingsguard to beat Sansa Stark before Tyrion puts an end to it. Tyrion does exactly what he says he would — justice — and Joffrey acts like a dick. But the most subtle insight was into the mind of The Hound, Sandor Clegane, who clearly disapproves and gives the girl his cloak when Tyrion stops the charade.

Viewers may be wondering if Joffrey is really as terrible as he seems or if he’s just a young boy trying to garner the fear and respect he feels he deserves. The next scene, in which he gets a chance to vent his frustrations sexually, answered that question. As Bronn put it, “There’s no cure for being a c**t.”

This isn’t Shakespeare, the characters can’t just go off on soliloquies to explain their inner motivations and feelings. So in the past, Tyrion, Theon, Littlefinger and Pycelle have had scenes with Ros as a way of giving the audience some insight and backstory. This week, Joffrey finally got his chance with Ros, also known as the exposition whore.

There’s been talk that Ros’s scenes were just gratuitous nudity, but that wasn’t the case here. The way a man treats a whore shows his true colors. He can be honest — after all he’s paying. Having Joff command Ros to hit the other whore confirmed that he’s a sadistic little prick without having the 16-year-old actress who portrays Sansa nude up, as was the case in the books.

Daenerys and Qarth

Daenerys showed a leader’s instincts at the gates of Qarth by refusing to show the 13 her dragons. She will not become a beggar or mere spectacle, even if it means the death of her people. By showing some balls, she enters Qarth as an honored guest. Plus, her dragons are small and weak, so even the fastest glimpse would mean a chance they could be stolen. Eventually, she gains entrance to the city with the help of Xaro Xhoan Daxos.

It’s worth noting that Nonso Anozie, the actor who plays Xaro, is black. In the books, the Qartheen are an extremely pale people, referred to as “milk men.” The show’s writers did a good job of finding an in-universe explanation for Xaro’s skin color, saying he came from the Summer Isles before his rise to power.

Harrenhal

Before she falls asleep, Arya recites the “prayer” she learned from Yoren, listing all the people she wants to kill. “Joffrey, Cersei, Ilyn Payne, The Hound, Polliver,” rinse and repeat. A few more names will be added to the list before things are said and done.

The torture scenes were fantastically executed. “Is there gold in the village? Where is the Brotherhood?” the Tickler asks. Like Arya and Gendry, non-readers have no idea what he’s talking about.

One of the great things about “Game of Thrones” is that no one is safe; anyone can die at any time. We all learned that lesson the hard way last season, so I’m sure non-readers’ hearts were beating when Gendry was being tortured. Even though I knew the outcome, I’ve never been so happy to see Tywin Lannister.

Lord Tywin put his smarts on display, showing everyone how he got so powerful. He points out the stupidity in killing the prisoners when every able-bodied worker is needed for the war effort and is quick to see that Arya is a girl, which no one else seemed to notice. Arya tells him she dressed as a boy because it is safer to travel that way. Tywin responds that she’s smart, which is more than he can say for his men, and makes her his cupbearer.

Renly vs. Stannis, Cat and Littlefinger

Sticking Littlefinger into the plotline here was another change from the books, but it works because it expedites the plot and gives Aidan Gillen more screen time. Lord Baelish chats with King Renly and Queen Margaery (who apparently buys her clothes at the same store as Garrus from “Mass Effect”) before he is reunited with Catelyn, who he has loved since boyhood.

Renly and Stannis’ parlay was a scene I’ve been waiting on for months, and it did not disappoint. The actors captured their characters perfectly: Stannis is rigid and unforgiving while Renly is lighthearted and sarcastic. The writers discarded Renly’s peach jokes from the books (although it did seem they were referenced when Renly was holding fruit earlier), but still managed to inject plenty of humor into the scene. Melisandre claims Stannis is the Lord of Light, “born amidst salt and smoke,” before Renly quips back, “Is he a ham?”

Again, the show used dialogue to make for entertaining exposition in Stannis and Davos’ conversation on the ship. Stannis hacked off four of Davos’ fingers up to the first knuckle as punishment for his time as a smuggler, but raised him to knighthood for his heroic acts during Robert’s rebellion. As Stannis puts it, “You were a hero and a smuggler. The good act does not wash out the bad, nor the bad the good.” Davos jokes that he now has “four less fingernails to clean,” before Stannis interjects that it’s “four fewer fingernails to clean.” That’s Stannis for you, so serious he’ll correct your grammar while telling the story of cutting off your fingertips.

They saved the best for last this week: the birth of the shadow baby, the “son” Melisandre promised Stannis, was crazy. I can’t imagine what non-readers must be thinking. As Salladhor Saan said in the last episode, everyone everywhere believes they’ve found the one true god. While the Seven and the Old Gods have done little for their followers, we’ve seen Melisandre survive drinking poison and create this monster, so it’s clear that the Lord of Light has some true power. Non-readers don’t know its purpose yet, but Stannis told us that “cleaner ways don’t win wars.”