Product Review: Schick Hydro 5 Sensitive Collection

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The Schick Hydro 5 Sensitive Collection had all the sensitivity of a toddler petting a kitten on a pillow with a rainbow in the background, while listening to Richard Marx’s hit power ballad, “Hold Onto the Nights.”

As a dude, shaving your chin is a delicate, sensitive process. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve nicked myself in that particular area based solely on excessive speed and a lack of tenderness.

Luckily, the Schick Hydro 5 Sensitive is here to save us from ourselves. The Ultra Glide Blades are equipped with Skin Guards (that would be a sweet band name) that smooth the surface of the skin while you shave. In the 20-plus shaves I used the product, it didn’t happen once. And I sped through my shaves like a young Apollo Ohno.

Since we’re being sensitive, I have a confession to make. Thanks to investing in high priced, high-end shaving creams (not to be confused with the Tribe Called Quest classic, “The Low End Theory”) over the years, I’ve tended to look upon Edge products with a jaundiced eye.

I mean, look at the people Edge hangs out with — Wal-Mart, Target and almost any other national retail chain. Edge will pretty much align itself with anyone that will have it, and those whoreish tendencies have never been lost on me.

But, as with the case of many whores, there is also something that attracts you in the first place, no matter how many strange beds she’s laid in.

Thanks to this review, Edge and I reconvened, and after a few go-arounds with the Sensitive Pro Relief Shave Gel, I have to say that it was pleasurable.

The combination of Edge Sensitive Pro Relief Shave Gel with the Schick Hydro 5 Sensitive was the most formidable pairing of sensitive elements since K-Ci & Jo-Jo teamed up for their 1997 #1 hit, “All My Life.”

Speaking of K-Ci, he exposed himself at a concert in 2001 and was charged with lewd conduct. The New Schick Hydro 5 Groomer exposes itself too, but it’s a good kind of exposure.

The Hydro 5 Groomer, as well as the Schick Hydro 5 Sensitive razor, features a flip trimmer that “exposes” all five blades, which allows you to reach tight spaces with ease. Ahem.

So, who’s ready for a cigarette? Grab my pack of Winstons from off the bureau while I set the mood with the Color Me Badd classic, “I Wanna Sex You Up.”

The Hydro 5 Groomer is half-razor, half-power trimmer, which makes it the Centaur of shaving. It has the classic “man part” elements that you expect of a razor on top (five blades, aloe gel reservoir) mixed with the horse legs (the edger and flip trimmer) on the bottom.

Unless you’re afraid to get a little bit sensitive, check out the Schick Hydro 5 Groomer and Schick Hydro 5 Sensitive at schickhydro.com and Edge Sensitive Pro Relief Shave Gel at edgeshave.com.

  

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Product Review: eShave Hair Styler

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In the past, we’ve reviewed eShave products and always came away impressed. The Orange Sandalwood Collection for shaving was hailed as one of the best shaving products ever by Men’s Health magazine in 2011. And eShave After Shave Soother was named the best post-shave lotion by Men’s Health in 2012, so who were we to argue?

After all the awards, it became apparent: Men’s Health was either trying to sleep with eShave, or eShave products are really that good. We decided it was the latter based on personal experience, but we also wouldn’t be surprised if eShave was a complete monster in the sack to boot.

Previously, eShave focused solely on producing luxury shaving products and accessories, but now, eShave wants to take over your entire head! eShave Hair Styler is a part of the “New Generation” of eShave products that actively addresses all of a man’s grooming needs. And frankly, just the thought makes our hair follicles stand on end.

Hair Styler from eShave provides the structure and control of a strong gel with the pliability of the wax. The new styling paste transforms the hair by adding weightless body and texture, definition and flexible hold, made with a naturally derived sugar-based emulsifier that enhances hairs moisture and hydrating Beeswax that softens the hair and adds volume.

Hair Styler is labeled as a “bodified styling paste.” It was the first paste I have ever applied that used a pump to disperse the product, and I really liked it, because as a regular user of styling paste, I find myself using more than I even need, because typically you need just a dab or two to get the desired effect.

When I first had the product in my hand, it had more moisture than I am used to from a paste. So, I judged it on appearance, just like I did the first time I saw Color Me Badd in concert. But just like with Color Me Badd, I was way off and was only screwing myself by judging it in the first place.

The fact that the paste had more moisture actually made it easier to apply. Usually with a paste, you have to commit that dab to a particular area and that’s it. But the eShave product was especially nimble and supple. It held my hair in place (as I would find over the next several hours), but it had similar traits to a gel in terms of feel while applying it.

Also, I really liked the smell of the product. “Orange Mint” was the bomb, and it just made everything feel fresh, like Biz Markie’s cover of “Bennie And The Jets” from the Beastie Boys album The Sounds Of Science. Lube up your hair, crack your window to let that breeze in and crank The Biz — you’ll see “what I mean, Verne.

eShave Hair Styler retails at just $17 per bottle and can be purchased on the eShave website.

  

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