Bullz-Eye: Your character on “Smash” is regularly described in reviews as “difficult but brilliant,” and even on the NBC website they sum him up in a single sentence by calling him “one of Broadway’s most brilliant, yet arrogant, director-choreographers.” Did you have to pay people off to get the word “brilliant” out there so prominently?

Jack Davenport: Probably, yeah. [Laughs.] You know, the way the character’s written is the way people generally refer to him, and you are to believe that the man has half a dozen Tonys, probably two musicals that are international franchises, but that also makes you cocky. Also, in the real world of show business, no one refers to anybody as talented or brilliant. But when you’re doing a show about show business, weirdly, you do have to point that out on occasion. Not too often, but it’s sort of… Otherwise, you’re not really setting the scene properly, I don’t think.

BE: True enough. A few adjectives can save the writers from having to come up with a complete back story right off the bat.

JD: Oh, yeah. And as for “difficult,” I think that one speaks for itself. [Laughs.]

BE: How much of Derek was on the page when you arrived, and how much has been added to the character since then?

JD: Well, you know, when you initially get a part on a series, you only have the pilot script to go on, but then things evolve as you grow into the part and the writers see what you’re doing with their stuff. If you’re fortunate enough to do something that lasts more than one year, in this context… What’s interesting is that I’ve done series—not in this country, I have to say—which did two, three, four seasons, but I’d sort of forgotten to a degree that, on some level, one develops a sense of…ownership, really. So you start to get a sense of what does and doesn’t quite feel right for that character.

What’s been really great about having Josh (Safran) is that, when I first met him, he sat down and sort of billed himself as extremely collaborative, and he’s been amazingly—and unnecessarily, I have to say—respectful of the fact that we sort of did it a year before he came here. So we have a very open dialogue about… not so much storyline, because, you know, he’s the show runner. But in terms of detail within scenes, he’s amazingly amenable, and I guess at this point you feel that’s it’s more a two-way street. When you do a first season of something, you don’t know any better than the writers do. Whatever comes down the pike, you just go [In a very silly voice.] “Okay!” Because, you know, the character hasn’t been established.

But the writers always—or at least they do in any cleverly-staffed writers room, which they generally are—see the rushes and stuff, and when they do, they see what works and what doesn’t, and they’re, like, “Oh, okay!” So I imagine it’s been shaped to me, and…it feels like a good fit!

BE: Can you talk a bit about Season 2 and Derek’s place in it?

JD: Well, the season starts with him in a similar place, inasmuch as it’s only three weeks later, but what you also find, and I think this is a great way to tame the character, is that some of his more questionable interpersonal tactics slightly come home to haunt him. It gives him a chance to be vulnerable, and he’s not a character who’s allowed to be vulnerable very often, because his job is to not be. His job is to start in front of rooms full of people where no one knows what the fuck to do next and say, “I have a plan!” So it’s been nice to have that facet to explore.

BE: To ask about your last series in this country, one of the ones you semi-referenced that didn’t make it beyond its first season, what were your feelings on the way “Flash Forward” wrapped up?

JD: Well, I mean, in truth… Look, clearly it wasn’t intended to only last for a season, and if you are doing a show in which the hook is an event that affects the entire planet, it’s unlikely to end after one season in a satisfactory fashion. [Laughs.] So, no, of course I wasn’t happy with how it wrapped up. There were loads of unanswered questions. But, sadly, that’s the way it went. When I sat down and met David Goyer when I took the job, though, David had a very clear, specific, and, frankly, a five-year vision of where that story was going to go. And he really just didn’t a chance to do it. So, of course, it was, like, “Oh, okay, so it’s blackouts interruptus, then, is it?” But what are you gonna do?

BE: When I interviewed Richard Curtis on the press junket for “Pirate Radio” a few years ago, I said, “Poor Jack Davenport’s character, Twatt…the name’s a bit on the nose, isn’t it?”

JD: [Laughs.] Well, Richard has a history with this. He has a tendency on occasion toward characters with names which are arguably a bit too on the nose as far as reflecting the person they are. I mean, I’m just saying… Would anyone with that surname not change it? But, again, what are you gonna do? It did seem a little on-the-nose to me as well, though.

BE: Given the resurgence in the popularity of vampires in recent years, how often do you find yourself being asked about “Ultra Violet” nowadays?

JD: Well, it’s funny. As you say, because vampirism in all its forms is all the rage… Funnily enough, David Goyer defined that show with the best soundbite I’ve ever heard about it, which was that it was like “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” but with the high political seriousness of “The West Wing.” And it kind of was! Telly-literate people know that show well, because it was a damned clever idea. You know, vampires are just about the oldest story there is, and all of it’s been done to death…or un-death, as it were. [Laughs.] But I thought Joe (Ahearne), who wrote that show and directed all of it, spun accepted ideas about vampire folklore in ways that no one had ever thought of before.

Now, the people from the series have obviously managed to go on to do other quite good things, but I think we would’ve loved to have done more. Funnily enough, though, it feels okay that it ends where it does. It ends on a rather brilliantly bleak note. But at the same time, it didn’t feel like, “Huh?!?” But people do ask me about it. People who love television. Mainly television journalists at this point, I’ll be honest. [Laughs.]

BE: Is there a favorite project that you’ve worked on over the years that didn’t get the love you thought it deserved?

JD: Oh, yeah. [Laughs.] I’ve lost count of the number of independent films I’ve made. But, then, that’s the difficulty of independent films, actually. Some very smart, committed, talented people throw their heart and soul into something that then, just because of the vagaries of distribution, no one gets to see. I mean, I’ve done things on TV that didn’t work, but it’s still on TV, and if it works, it works. But, yeah, sure, I’ve made a bunch of independent films that I felt more people would’ve enjoyed, or might’ve, if they’d ever gotten to see them.

BE: In regards to TV, would “Swingtown” qualify?

JD: Oh, well, see, “Swingtown” is actually a perfect example. That was the year that CBS tried to slightly deviate from their, uh, CBS-ness. [Laughs.] The problem, however, is that their key demographic is still their key demographic, and they like the procedurals and that’s it. And in some ways… well, it was originally written for… [Hesitates.] I want to say HBO, but it was possibly Showtime.

BE: It seems like a cable concept.

JD: It does. But Nina Tassler is such a talented and persuasive woman that my feeling is that she sort of…she talked Alan Poul and Mike Kelley into going to CBS to doing it, and with the best of intentions. And it’s not as though we didn’t make the show they wanted to make. We did. But it was interesting that…y’know, people got really upset about that show, in the sense that they felt it was immoral. But it’s, like, “We’re not making this up!” [Laughs.] It happened. And happens. And, actually, the show wasn’t about wife-swapping. It was about feminism, actually! It was about the changing role of women in American society. And it was really…I mean, I thought it was a fucking good show, actually, and could’ve…it was just…

Well, I mean, look, here’s a perfect example of something where you go, “Oh, if only we’ve had maybe just one more year…” Because that show was literally the story of Mike Kelley’s childhood. I was playing his father, essentially. And stories like that, stories that are truly from a very personal place and are being overseen by someone who’s emotionally invested, resonate in a way that is very rare in this business. And I loved the people in it. There were some great, great actors. Molly Parker, Miriam Shor…amazing people. Yeah, it was a damned shame. But it was probably the wrong home for it. Not from the point of view of the people who worked at the network, who wanted to try something different, but just the people who watch that network weren’t, uh, up for a show about that, I guess. [Laughs.]

BE: As far as “Coupling” goes, it was obviously more or less only a cult show here in the States, but I’d guess it still had to be gratifying to be able to move successfully from being recognized as a sitcom actor into working in more dramatic roles.

JD: Well, the genius is that I’d been doing only dramatic things for years prior to “Coupling.” And when “Coupling” came along, I jumped at it precisely because it wasn’t a dramatic role. I was, like, “Wow, you want me to do a sitcom?!? Fuck, I never thought anybody would ask me to do that!” [Laughs.] So that was a ticket into that world, and it sort of became successful for a long time, I think much to everyone’s surprise. I don’t think anyone expected it go for four years. That’s a long time in the UK! But it wasn’t like that’s where I started. It was more of the middle part. And to be honest, it’s such a specific, odd format, the sitcom, that I’m sort of happy to not do it for awhile. I mean, never say never, but it’s a very specific performance requirement, and I feel like I’ve been there. For now, anyway.

BE: Lastly, if you were invited to appear in another of the Pirates of the Caribbean films, would you be up for it.

JD: Well, I’m dead…but, then again, that’s never stopped anyone in those films in the past, has it? So far, though, I remain the only major character who, when they’ve been killed, has stayed dead. So if nothing else, that does kind of make me the answer to a Trivial Pursuit question, at least. [Laughs.]

“Community” Holiday Exclusive Gift Set

Features a “Troy & Abed in the Morning” coffee cup (“With a generous capacity of 15 ounces, refills are not needed!”), a Warhol-inspired Troy & Abed poster, a t-shirt featuring the Greendale Seven in video game form. and a plush Human Being…which, if you’re not already a fan of the show, probably warrants a bit of explanation. Per the NBC online store, “The Greendale Community Human Being plush mascot reflects the diversity of Greendale and our species by being nothing at all. Now you can have your own creepy version!” If that doesn’t sound like the icing on a delicious “Community” cake, then…well, uh, you’re probably not the target demo. But maybe you know someone who is, so keep it in mind just in case. ($50.00)

“Dexter” LOOK/SEE Limited Edition Sunglasses

Described as “perhaps the greatest Dexter usable collectable out there,” what you get is a set of sunglasses with white frames spattered in blood, stored in a wooden case which, not coincidentally, looks quite a bit like Dexter’s “trophy case.” The case also includes blood slides and a syringe. Move fast, though: it’s a limited edition set – there are only 500 units being produced, and each wooden case is individually numbered. ($149.95)

“Buffy” Slayer’s Stake Prop Replica

I once bought my wife a replica of the cross necklace Buffy wears, but while she thought it looked incredibly cool, she’s never actually worn it because it just seems like more of a display piece than actual jewelry. Similarly, here’s hoping that, should you decide to pick up this item, you decide to leave it in the box rather than plunge it into someone’s heart. I mean, unless they’re undead. In that case, go nuts. ($479.99)

Sonic Screwdriver Programmable TV Remote

What can we possibly say that the people at ThinkGeek haven’t already said better? “The Sonic Screwdriver Programmable TV Remote lets you feel like a time lord while lounging on your couch eating fish fingers and custard. This Mark VII Sonic Screwdriver is specially created for Earth use. It’s been simplified so as not to cause danger to human operators, while still being an extremely powerful tool in the wrangling of entertainment electronics. And because The Doctor doesn’t let just anyone use his stuff, there’s a Lock Code that allows you to ensure that it’s yours… ALL YOURS.” ($89.99)

Rosie the Robot Cookie Jar

Gotta get at least one Hanna-Barbera item in the mix, y’know? One of my most prized possessions is a Brak cookie jar that our own David Medsker hooked me up with many moons ago, during my earliest days with Bullz-Eye. (Or, man, was it before? It was forever ago.) Of course, “The Jetsons” can’t compete with “Space Ghost,” but I’ve still got a lot of love in my heart for Rosie. As robot servants go, she’s one of the best. ($49.95)

The Office Dunder Mifflin Paper (Box) with “Poetic” Message Magnets

I just want to shake the hand of the NBC employee who pitched this idea. “Hey, how about if we put a bunch of cardboard boxes, put Dunder-Mifflin labels on the outside, fill ‘em with plain ol’ copy paper, and then sell ‘em for $70 a pop? Yeah, you’re right, that’s kind of a rip-off. We better throw one of those magnetic-poetry packs in there, too.” Brilliant. ($74.98)

Opie’s Skull and Crossbones Ring / Clay’s Born Wild Ring

Not that anyone’s been wondering why I don’t handle the “Sons of Anarchy” reviews for Bullz-Eye, but if you were, it’s because I’m an idiot and don’t watch the show. Still, I know enough about it to know that fans will probably think these rings are pretty awesome. ($99.99 each)

Golden Limited Edition Star Trek Pizza Cutter

Admittedly, probably even the most obsessive Trekkies probably haven’t been clamoring for a pizza cutter that looks like the USS Enterprise, let alone one that’s done up in gold rather than one of your lesser metals, but leave it to ThinkGeek to prey on their customers’ weaknesses and make this a limited edition item of which there are only 1,701 in existence…and if you don’t appreciate why they picked that number, Google it later. For now, though, just trust us: it’s hilarious.($99.99)

“Breaking Bad” ‘Blue Sky’ Candy in a Los Pollos Hermanos tub

First and foremost, don’t get your hopes up for finding this under the tree: the company that produces this stuff is already back-ordered through January. Secondly, let’s not kid ourselves: this price is absolutely ridiculous, given the ease with which just about anyone could make rock candy in their own freaking kitchen and the fact that you could print off a “Los Pollos Hermanos” label yourself and slap it on any old plastic bucket. With that said, however, you can’t deny that it’s one of the coolest things ever. ($1,658.08)

Game of Thrones Life Size Replica Iron Throne

I’m not sure I’d want to meet the person who has the kind of disposable income to spend on something like this, as I’m not sure I’d be able to resist the desire to punch them in the face. But I applaud the HBO store for apparently having it in stock, just in case someone happens to get a wild hair and has the bankbook to back up their pop culture whims. ($30,000…and, no, that’s not a joke)

Uh-huh. That’s exactly what I thought.

Oh, fine, so I couldn’t see how many people raised their hands. I still refuse to believe that I’m the only one whose mind went down that road, though I admit that it’s possible I was the only one who was also thinking, “You might, I might actually watch that…” Not that it was a great film, but it had a pretty interesting cast (Scott Bakula, Jason Bateman, Hector Elizondo, Robert Loggia, Larry Miller, Sinbad, and Rob Schneider), and the college-football-team premise is one that would be easy to pick up 20 years after the fact.

But, no, USA’s “Necessary Roughness,” while also about football, instead revolves around Dr. Dani Santino (Callie Thorne), a divorcée who reluctantly takes on a job as a therapist for a pro football team – the fictional New York Hawks – in an effort to keep herself and her children  afloat financially. After settling into the gig, Dani’s success with the Hawks combined with a significantly increased profile lead to a sudden influx of new and equally high-profile patients. In addition to Thorne, who you may remember from her roles on “Homicide: Life on the Street,” “The Wire,” and “Rescue Me,” the show has several other familiar faces within its cast, including Marc Blucas (Riley Finn on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”) as Hawks athletic trainer Matthew Donnally, Scott Cohen (Max Medina on “Gilmore Girls”) as Nico Careles, the team’s ex-SEAL head of security, and Mehcad Brooks (Eggs on “True Blood”) as T.K. King, the Hawks’ star player.

What’s that? You say you’re intrigued and want to know what you missed during the show’s first season? Wow, good thing USA thought ahead and put together the perfect collection of clips to summarize the first 12 episodes for you…

A few weeks back, USA was kind enough to offer me the opportunity to head down to the “Necessary Roughness” set, tour the facility, and meet with Thorne, Cohen, and Brooks. Each of these fine folks sat down with myself and my fellow TV critics, bloggers, and interviewers (I’m just trying to cover all the bases to avoid missing out on someone’s favorite term for themselves) and chatted about their work on the series thus far and what viewers can expect from the second season of “Necessary Roughness,” which premieres – yikes! – tonight at 10 PM.

That’s fine, go ahead and run set your DVR now, so you don’t forget. But rush right back, because the highlights of those on-set conversations are coming right up…

Of the cast members we were fortunate enough to meet with, Callie Thorne was with us for the shortest amount of time, owing to the fact that she was actually between scenes when she came down to the conference room for a chat. When called back to the set, the powers that be toyed with the idea of having us stick around to grab her between her next scenes, but in a lovely moment of democracy in action, the group voted to head back to our hotel, as there was no guarantee of A) how long it would take for her to finish the scene she was working on, or B) how long we’d end up getting with her before she had to head back to work. But she was quite lovely while she was with us, and she did give us at least a bit of insight into returning to the role of Dr. Dani after the hiatus, her feelings on the character, and her appreciation of the opportunity to get out of the football stadium once in awhile.

Q: Dr. Dani has the season full when the season kicks off.  Could you talk about getting ready for this second season and some of the fine tuning that went on?

Callie Thorne: That’s a good question about getting back into it, because we did have a nice long hiatus and…it’s always a little nerve racking coming back into a show and, um, before this I didn’t have so much to think about. [Laughs.] This was the first time, coming back into the second season of the show, being number one on the call sheet. I was very nervous about that.  We luckily had about a week before we started shooting, which was little bits of rehearsals, little bits of fittings, and so the guys and I got to play and talk and hang out, and we all just naturally fell back into our roles, and it really made the first few weeks of work that much more sort of giggly and fun.  Because, really, I think what our cast…what we all respond to the most is laughing with each other. Even if it’s dramatic scenes or silly scenes, that’s how we get into it with each other, and I think that shows up on screen. So it was very smart for them to have us come a week ahead of time.

And then in regards to Dr. Dani…you know, especially that first script coming back, there’s so much going on, but everything was so wonderfully detailed.  It made it easy for us to slip back in. And I also really liked the fact that it wasn’t, like, a year later. [Laughs.]  You know, it was sort of really a perfect time to come back.  The audience wasn’t struggling to remember what happened, nor were we struggling to sort of establish things that happened, having to do expositions, stuff like that.  It was all right there.  So I have to say it was easier than I thought, but mainly because we all laugh a lot and we’re able to make those connections again very easily.

Q:  How does Dr. Dani help TK get through everything this season?

CT:  Well, it’s even sort of questionable when we come back if she’s really helping him at that point, because he does think of her in this maternal way, which I think kind of backfires a little bit when we come back to that.  Because now it’s almost like he’s rebelling as a child or, you know, a teenager or whatever would with the parent.  And he isn’t accepting what really happened to him.  He’s in this sort of state of denial, and that makes their relationship really difficult.  She can’t get through to him, and…it’s interesting, because I have thought of it more in terms of a mother kind of trying to get through to their child, to sort of try and get in any which way to get him to admit what happened, because he really is… [Hesitates.] As wild as TK was last year…and he’s a wild and extraordinary character…he’s even more so when we come back, but not for the best reasons.  So I think it’s really interesting the first few episodes watching Dr. Dani trying to get in there any which way, and he’s not taking it.  He’s really not working with her at all, and that’s new, you know.  I think that is a new place to find them and…um, and then you’ll see what happens. [Laughs.] And if that’s good or bad for anybody.

Q:  Where does Dr. Dani get all her strength from?

CT:  I love that, because a lot of what I bring to the character myself is a lot of my own mother.  I grew up with a single mother, so there’s a lot of tone and behavior that I think of in terms of my own mom as well as the woman that the show is based on.  The character is based on a very strong woman (Dr. Donna Dannenfelser), a very… I’ve always said she’s this force to be reckoned with.  And that is in the writing, you know, because she is in the writer’s office, she’s always there to be a part of what the particular patient of the week is.  So she’s also there to make sure that the character is very true to herself and the circumstances that she has been in that we are now bringing you know to the screen. And then I’m also thinking about my own therapist in real life.  And all three of these women are all incredibly independent, are all women that I’ve learned extraordinary things from and still do, and so I really think that that has a wonderful mix with the way the writers write her, and so it also sort of falls into place that these are the women I have in my mind, and the way that they write her is a very strong voice and…sometimes that’s not true.  Sometimes you’ve got an enormous amount of homework to do in order to bring a woman like that to life.  It’s changed in the past few years because there’s so many incredible lead women now, and they’re very layered, some of them are likable and some of them are not, and that’s what women are. We’re many different things.  So I got all that going on, and then I have the luck of good writers that are creating this woman alongside with me.

Q:  What sorts of insights have you gotten from the real Dr. Dani?

CT:  Well, one of the things that’s really hard for me as Callie, doing a lot of the therapy scenes, is, you know, you see someone in emotional pain, and my natural instinct – and I think for a lot of people that I know – if you have a heart, your instinct is to feel for them and to…you know, I want to go and give them a hug, or I want to go, “Oh, my God, I know,” or whatever. The main thing I’ve learned from Dr. Donna is that place that you have to go to, that neutral place, so that you can be a safe haven for that patient. You know, a place that they can be honest, not feel judged, not feel like they have to impress you or whatever. So I’m learning some things about how she’s got to present herself as a therapist that help me as an actor, just sitting in these scenes. You’re so used to reacting as an actor, and you know that’s what you’re taught in every class.  You know acting is reacting, but most especially in those therapy scenes, I have to really go to a certain head space to not give too much away and let those scenes really be about who I am with and let them tell their story. So I think that’s the biggest thing I learned from her in regards to the character.

And then in my life, I’ve very much learned from her.  It’s a theme in the show as well that sometimes people just want to be listened to, and…it was something I spoke a lot about last year, too, that I have learned to be a better listener because of my conversations with her, and I found myself babbling with her, talking. Sometimes we talk by Skype and I’m going on and on and I feel so great afterwards, and I realize she didn’t even say anything.  [Laughs.]  She just listened to me, she didn’t try to fix me, she didn’t try to, you know, make parallels and say, “Oh, I know, because this happened to me.” And that’s very meaningful to me.  So those are the two things that I am very grateful for that I learned from her.

Q:  What are some of your favorite aspects of stepping outside of the football arena?

CT:  Well, my first favorite is what happens in the second episode. Or maybe it’s the third. They get tangled. But it’s the roller derby, so for several reasons…I was really excited that we were focusing on a female athlete, and then roller derby’s something that I’ve always loved watching. There was this girl I met three or four years ago, and she was an actress who on her off time was this very famous…I think they’re really called the New York Dolls. I’m not even sure. But she was a very famous New York roller derby girl, and she had stories that blew my mind, so that was very exciting to me. They created for the show a roller derby arena, but they did it very beautifully, and they got a real team together. That was (director) Rob Morrow’s episode, and I think also, because he’s an actor, they got a little bit more into that sort of stuff. And the actress that they cast as the girl with the issue was a real tough little cookie, and she was getting really involved in it.  So that was fun for me, because I got to go and sort of be in there and meet all these incredible women, these tough women. I think that’s what I’m very excited about in regards to the second season.  There will be way more leaving the football stadium. Although, obviously, I love going to the football stadium.  [Laughs.] But that just makes it more exciting for me.

Q: So we’ll maybe get to know more about Nico this season?

Scott Cohen: A little bit. A little bit, yes. (But) he remains a mystery.

Q: Is everything over between Gabriel and Nico? And if so, will there be an appearance of a love interest for you?

SC: That’s really a question for the writers. But it’s not over over, and I hear that there is love to come.

Q: Would you like to see Nico together with Dr. Dani?

SC: With Dr. Dani? Uh, yes and no. I mean, I think it’d be a really interesting dynamic. I want it to happen, if it’s ever going to happen, much later, ‘cause I want it to be teased for years to come.

Q: (Because) it’ll get really awkward at work?

SC: Yeah, well, it already has. It’s kind of weird. I mean, it’s, like, the tension between him and Matt, he knows what’s going on, so he’s very protective of Dr. Dani, so I think it’s…it just kind of stays interesting. And keeps us going for a while.

Q: Is there anything that Nico doesn’t know?

SC: There’s nothing Nico doesn’t know.

Q: He knows everything.

SC: Yeah, the episode we’re shooting now, actually, you’re, like, “How did Nico do that?”

Q: So you were behind the scenes today…

SC: Yes, I’m trailing Andy Wolf, the director, to try to get experience in directing.

Q: Is that where you see yourself going?

SC: Yeah, I’d love to. It’s very fun.

Q: Would you want to direct an episode?

SC: I would love to. Yeah, love to.

Q: Does it give you a different window into the acting side of things?

SC: It does. It completely gives you a different point of view, and it’s a much more relaxed point of view. First of all, it takes away the pressure. When you’re an actor, you’re always under pressure just about you and your character, and you don’t see the big picture. So, you know, you’re just kind of focused in, you’re very myopic. And reading the script for this episode, knowing that I was going to do this, it kind of allowed me to see everybody and just be aware of everybody’s situation and have a very kind of equal balanced view of it. As opposed to, “Wait, I should have that line, wait, I should be in that scene…” You know, like that. Which is usually what an actor does. It’s, like, you know, “How come I’m not in that scene? How come I’m not doing that?”

Q: What kind of preparation did you go for the role? Did you actually talk to any Navy SEALs?

SC: Yeah, I talked to two Navy SEALs that I’m connected to, actually. Via Facebook, interestingly enough. I talked…well, not so in depth, but I got some information from them. I talked more to NFL security people, who exist and who are very present in players’ lives, and I kind of got a sense of what their backgrounds might be, who they are and where they come from and things like that. That’s basically what I did. I mean, for Nico…from the very beginning, what was interesting to me…‘cause I think I’ve always played characters that are a lot more talkative, a lot more energetic, a lot more involved. What attracted me to him in the beginning was how quietly energetic he was. I mean, he was so quiet but so intense, and that to me was always interesting. To be able to play that… at least for me, it’s so difficult to actually just shut up and trust that your power is in your silence or in your eyes or whatever it may be.

Q: What kind of input do you have into creating and shaping the character of Nico?

SC: A lot. Not his story arcs. I mean, they’ll take a phone call and I’ll pitch an idea very easily. It might not happen. They might say, “Oh, that’s really interesting…” But they’re very open to ideas, they’re very open to very free interpretations of a scene. Not that things will necessarily be used, but, you know, I can say, “Oh, I read this article and this looks like a really interesting thing for Nico,” or, “You know, I thought about this,” and they would totally hear it and try to, you know, put it into the fray.

Q: What kind of stories would you want to see for Nico?

SC: Traveling to foreign countries. Tropical islands. [Laughs.] That’s an interesting question. I mean, I would love to see a little bit more of his background as time goes on. I mean, I think it’s too early now, but people that were in his life…I really would enjoy that, if they were kind of coming back into his life. That would kind of interest me. And I’d love to see him…like, the whole idea of him having a daughter last season was very interesting to me, ‘cause I love the idea of a man his age…I mean, does he have a family? Does he not have a family? Did he have a family? That’s interesting to me.

Q: Are we going to see anymore of Nico’s vulnerable side?

SC: Vulnerable? Yeah, you see a bunch in the first four episodes. Him dealing with (Evan Handler’s character), it gets nasty. It really gets nasty, and Evan Handler, who is superb, plays someone you believe is an evil human being, and Nico has to kind of keep it at bay. And he’s having trouble doing it.

Q: Life-and-death stakes, or more emotional?

SC: I think it’s more emotional, I think it’s life and death in terms of the stakes of the money that’s involved, and the team and how many lives are at stake. It’s more like that.

Q: What’s the weapon in Nico’s arsenal that he is going to be really employing this season? He’s got a lot of different tools to control things.

SC: Nico’s main power is his information, his knowledge, and he’s capable of using it at lightning speeds. So I think that’s his greatest weapon. If you’re talking about, like, guns and knives and things like that…is that what you’re talking about?

Q: Tools of the trade.

SC: Negotiation, manipulation, and threat. [Laughs.]

Q: Willingness to carry through?

SC: Absolutely. No question. Which he does.

Q: He can acquire information, but does he utilize it?

SC: In this season, he utilizes quite a lot of things that we just did not mention. But, you know, his threats get carried out, so…

Q: Is there any limit that he will not cross?

SC: No, I don’t think so. I mean, I think that if he’s confronted with having to make a decision, that somebody that he needs to protect is in trouble, then he’s willing to go the distance. He’s willing to take a bullet for somebody. That’s his mentality.

Q: But he’ll never lie.

SC: Never, ever, ever. As opposed to Scott Cohen, who is one big fat liar. [Laughs.]

Q: Isn’t lying the act of omission? He controls information, he doesn’t reveal it.

SC: Yeah, I think that’s pretty accurate.

Q: He holds and manipulates information that way.

SC: Yep. That’s very accurate.

Q: So in that sense, he’s not lying.

SC: He doesn’t lie about things about himself. So, I mean, if you ask him a question about him, he’ll be honest with you. There’s nothing he needs to hide. Nothing. But in terms of a negotiation or in terms of a manipulation, or in terms of just trying to get somebody to do what he needs them to do, he will manipulate information in order to get what he wants. But I don’t think that’s in the context of lying. Lying is more about him. He just has nothing to hide. He has no regrets, he’s very satisfied and content with who he is, which might be his flaw. He’s happy where he is. Nothing will affect him that much. But things do affect him that much. That’s what we see in this season, I think.

Q: Do you feel that the writers are writing more towards you?

SC: Yeah, I think so. I mean, I think they were surprised in the beginning of last season how Nico…just kind of how he panned out. They’re not modeling it after me by any stretch of the imagination. But trying to infuse everything that they’ve created last season with mystery, and him knowing everything that’s underground…they’re utilizing that. I think that’s definitely happening. But they’re really trying to keep it him mystery at the same time. You learn tiny, tiny pieces of the mystery.

Q: You mention you talked with these NFL security guys. Were there any parts of the show ripped from the NFL security guard headlines?

SC: Not that I’m aware of. No. Except, you know, just in how much trouble TK is in.

Q: Mark Blukas’s character…Matt and Nico are vying for the alpha dog position. Will we see that tension develop?

SC: You do, yeah. It reaches a head in the second episode, . And it’s very tense between the two of them mainly because of TK, not because of Dr. Dani. But I think Dr. Dani’s playing a major role in it. It’s funny you say that, because I don’t really see it like we’re, you know, ‘vying for the alpha dog position,” but that’s probably what it is, really. It’s definitely very present. But something happens to him and…I’ll let him tell you, maybe, if he wants to spoil it. But he’s going places. [Laughs.]

Q: What do you think Nico’s motivation is in what he does? Is he trying to help people?

SC: I think he’s just doing his job. He’s just doing his job. I mean, I think it’s really plain and simple for him. If this job left, if this ended today, then he’d be okay. I mean, that would be how he acts, but he would hopefully be friends with people. Who knows? Maybe nobody likes him. [Laughs.] I think he just does his job. I think it’s really just that his job is so intense…it’s, like, what he does involves so many people and involves such high level personality that…well, it’s not the same story, but you know “The Bodyguard,” with Kevin Costner? I mean, it’s similar type of, y’know, you do what you have to do to get the job done. That’s simply what has to be done. He’s very loyal.

Q: TK’s your Whitney.

SC: TK’s my Whitney. Exactly. That’s going on Twitter tonight. [Laughs.]

Q: Kevin was telling us when you came back for this season you were in better shape than you were in the first season. Did you do something different in your time off?

Mehcad Brooks: Yeah, well, I mean, last season was kind of unfair to me, because I couldn’t work out ’cause I got in a really bad car accident. So I did the best that I could, but, you know, I was on a lot of medication, so there wasn’t a lot I could do. So this year…oh, my goodness. [Laughs.] About two months out, I worked out with some pro guys who train Olympians, and I just took it really seriously. Now that I have the physical opportunity to do so, I’m not playing around.

Q: We were told you’d have more scenes with Terrell Owens this year. Does that relationship get ramped up?

MB: You know what? It…yes, it gets ramped up a lot, and then what happens is, it sort of gets rectified, all in the same swoop. So it’s kind of nice. He becomes likable all of a sudden. I think it’s good for TO. I mean that in a nice way, actually, because he’s a nice guy. But his public persona, you know, is what it is. But if you know him, if you meet him, he’s actually very misunderstood. I think he’s very shy, and what happens is he comes off in a protective way, and it’s unbefitting of his personality, because he’s actually a really nice guy. Believe it or not.

Q: Vivica was missing from episode one. Is that the last of her?

MB: Yes, I’m afraid so. Her body floats up soon. [Laughs.] I’m kidding!

Q: Scott said that the relationship between Nico and TK is going to evolve into something like a father figure.

MB: Yeah, I call it Teko. TK and Nico. You know what I’m saying, like Brangelina, but without the sex. [Laughs.] I think it’s cool, because it’s, like, TK finally has a paternal figure in his life, and he’s never had that. You know, he does need a positive male figure in his life. And Nico is the only guy with the patience and probably the training to handle someone’s attitude as large as TK’s. I mean, the guy doesn’t listen to anybody but Nico, really, so…there you go.

Q: Did you do any research into PTSD for the new season?

MB: Yes, I did. I did a lot, actually. I got a couple friends who’ve come back from Afghanistan and Iraq with some issues. One guy was actually blown up by a grenade and…we knew each other for 16 years, 17 years. He’s one of my best friends, he’s like a brother to me, we worked together, I got him a job on “My Generation” as our military coordinator, and…he’s just a great guy, just a fantastic guy. 13 surgeries later, to make a long story short, he’s walking, he’s running, he’s back, you know, as part of the population physically. And that’s a great phone call to get. So I’ve seen it first-hand, and I’ve been able to talk to him about it, he’s been strong enough to open up to me about it, and…you know, I want to portray it as seriously as possible.

Q: And as accurately?

MB: And as accurately as possible, because it’s an under-discussed subject and it’s something that two million Americans are going to have to deal with actively themselves, not to mention the toll it’s going to take on families and friends and relationships and jobs and so on and so forth. I think no one really wants to see soldiers going through it, because we have this sort of war fatigue and we have this insulation. We haven’t even paid for the war, you know. Taxes like we have, we’re completely insulated from it, and I think when it’s coming from an athlete or a football player, somebody that we see every day and that we allow into our home every day, it’s different. And so I hope that maybe…you know, I have athletes who come up to me and say, “Hey, what you did was realistic.” And I hope that one of these days I’ll have a soldier come up to me and say, “You know what? I went through that, my family went through that, and thank you for taking it seriously, because it really affected us.” So it’s not something that I make light of. Not that part of it.

Q: Thank you for that. I love the way it’s being portrayed.

MB: Thank you. Thank you very…I just got goose bumps. Thank you very much. ‘Cause that’s one part of TK that I can’t laugh at. I’ve seen it first hand and, you know, I’ve been there for guys who have gone through it. And I went through it in some ways in my life. You know, you don’t have to go to war to have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I’ve lost a family member, I lost my brother when I was19 and he was 17, and, you know, you react in the way that you do. You just react in the way that you do. And there’s no wrong answer for it, there’s no right answer for it, but there’s ways of healing holistically that I think that we as a nation, we can embrace our sons and daughters that way, and have them know that they’re welcome to come back. That’s what they need, they just need love. And understanding and patience. So I hope that we can touch on it a little bit.

Q: Is your character going to face this head on or fight longer with it in the background?

MB: Well, in real PTSD, you don’t know you have it. So you deny, you go through withdrawal of what the situation was, you have nightmares about it, you start to beat yourself up, you become a hermit. There’s all types of different things that happen, these sort of several different stages, and there’s a lot of debate on it clinically what those stages are. But a lot of it has to do with manic depression and bipolar and all these things that start to open up in your brain. So, yeah, he goes through the same stages that most people would, I think, if they come to this near death experience and they come to terms with their own mortality. Which we don’t on a day to day basis, thank God. I mean, most of us don’t, anyway.

Q: How is it for you to portray such a serious arc, for an actor who was normally playing such an upbeat character last season?

MB: Challenging. But that’s what I got into this business for, is to be challenged. I love this job because it’s varied in that way. You know, and one minute…which is great about CK…one minute you can have him in a scene where he’s on the verge of tears and not knowing what’s going on in his life, and then really sort of losing grip of who he is. And then the next moment he’s having a Twitter war. Like he’s a 12 year old. And that’s fun to play, but sometimes when you’re shooting both scenes in the same day, it’s, you know, “Can you put that one first, please?” [Laughs.] So it’s interesting, but it’s a lot of fun. It is. It’s fun to be challenged.

Q: Are we going to see any new love interests?

MB: You know what? To quote Sammy Davis, Jr., “You must love yourself first.” You know, to quote another black Jew. [Laughs.]

Q: Will you go into TK’s past and some of his family members while he goes through this?

MB: We, we do go back to his old neighborhood. You know, he doesn’t really know his family. He was a foster kid at nine years old, only child, mom’s passed on, father he doesn’t know, so you see the closest thing to family that he has. I think it’s Episode 203, 204, or something like that, but it’s great, he goes back to his old neighborhood and hides out for a couple episodes and, you know, gets into some shenanigans, some funny stuff…and some not so funny stuff, actually. And it’s weird because, especially after almost losing his life, he kind of doesn’t know where he belongs, you know, professionally. It’s almost as if, “Wow, you know, I catch a ball for a living. Is that important? I don’t know.” He starts to question everything. “Maybe I just want to go home and just be around people who love me for being Terry King. Not the King.” So he’s kind of doesn’t fit into either world and doesn’t really know where to go. So he goes through that for a little while as well. So that’s when you kind of meet the people who are in his past.

Q: Are we going to see more fun stuff with Terrance and Dr. Dani’s kids?

MB: I hope so. I really enjoy working with them, I think they’re so talented. They’re really, really talented, hard-working kids and…I shouldn’t even call them kids. They’re adults. They’ll hate me for calling them kids. I don’t think I would’ve been ready for what they’re doing at 18, 19, 20. So I have a lot of respect for them. Yeah, actually, I know I wasn’t ready. [Laughs.] I know I wasn’t.

Q: Do you base the TK antics on anybody in particular? It reminds me of TO.

MB: Okay. [Laughs.]

Q: Was that informed by the script?

MB: I can talk about who it’s actually based on, right? [Waits for a response from the publicist.] Okay, so it’s actually based on Keyshawn Johnson. Who I don’t know from a can of paint. So I based it on other guys that I know in the league, TO not being one of them. ‘Cause I didn’t know TO all that well before we started working together. And I based it on my dad, who was a wide receiver in the 70’s and 80’s when, you know, cocaine was a performance enhancing drug and it was okay. [Laughs.] You know, those were wild times and different times in the NFL. I got to see some of it first hand as a kid. And then I also based some of it on myself in my young 20’s. Like, you know, but what if I had 85 million dollars and I was that stupid? [Laughs.] In some ways, it’s like I’m coming into work and just being a dick and getting away with it. ‘Cause I’m actually kind of nice in person, I think. At least to myself.

Q: You love yourself?

MB: Not really. Mostly. [Laughs.]

Q: How do you get into that mindset of being so arrogant?

MB: I wake up. [Laughs.] I like to pretend that I’m arrogant. I don’t think I am, really. How do you get into that mindset? You know what it is? It’s that TK and I are really different. He’s not even a dude I would hang out with, tell you the truth, but I’ve known guys like that and it’s just about really you know, taking five minutes to believe your hype. If you thought you were God’s gift to insert noun, you know, then that’s how you act. There’s no boundaries, you’re put on a pedestal by society, so that means you’re above the societal mirror, which means you can’t even really look at yourself in a realistic light. I know people who are this famous, and they read the tabloids and they obsess about what people are saying about them, and I’m just, like, “God, that is tough.” That’s got to be really, really tough. You just have to accept them. So, y’know, it’s weird. It’s just taking my personality, a piece of it, and just…I don’t know, injecting it with anabolic steroids. Uh, not literally. [Laughs.]

Q: Can you talk about actually playing the football scenes? How did you prepare for that and how did you feel about those scenes?

MB: Well, I pulled my hamstring in the pilot, which means I was, like, “Man, I am such an actor. This is crazy.” Like, I’m just Hollywood as hell. [Laughs.] So there I was sitting on the sidelines rubbing my leg, I couldn’t even do all the stuff that I wanted to do, so then I came back and I got in the car accident, which was bad, so I couldn’t really do a lot. So this year when I came back, I was, like, “You know what? I’m going to do all my stuff. I’m going to make my stunt doubles look bad. “ And I’ve done my best. Like I said, I kind of had my training camp in LA, and then every chance I get, I go up to some surrounding states, I work out with some pro-bowlers, and I know what I’m doing now. And it’s fun. It’s really fun. Sometimes they take the stunt double out and put me in. Except when I get hit. I mean, I ain’t doing that. [Laughs.]

Q: For TO’s returning role, is he going to act more like a catalyst of change to get TK back on track or just dance on his grave?

MB: That’s a good question. He does a little bit of both, actually. I don’t want to get too much into it, but there’s a Twitter war, and there’s some really awful things, at least in TK’s world, said about him. And TK, like a grown man, goes to handle it, and…shenanigans ensue. [Laughs.]

Q: There’s been some pretty great guest stars on there. Is there anybody you would love to see on the show?

MB: Anybody I’d like to see? I mean, there’s just so many good actors…

Q: Any pro football players?

MB: I mean, I would love Aaron Rodgers on the show. I met Aaron at the Super Bowl, we hung out for a couple days. He’s a good dude. Awesome dude, and loves the USA, so Aaron, if you’re reading this, if you scouring the blogs for your name, come on down. [Laughs.]

Q: Have you gotten feedback from NFL players about this?

MB: I have. I have. And not always positive. Some are, like, “Man, your stance is horrible. Come on, dog.” I’m, like, “Let’s see how you can do a monologue, fool. I barely understand what you saying right now. And take that HGH out of your mouth!” [Laughs.] Something’s wrong with me. But I’ve had a lot of positive feedback and I’ve had some really helpful criticism, actually, too. There was actually a conversation with… [Hesitates.] With a very well known wide receiver. [Laughs.] In a nightclub, and he was helping me with my stance. Everybody’s dancing around us like we’re in New York, and I’m, like, “All right…” He’s, like, “No, the problem is, your form is down perfect, but you look like a Poindexter.” So TK has a new stance now. [Laughs.]

Q: Do you think that TK because he believes his own hype, he’d ever want to branch out into something else, like another pro sport?

MB: I think TK thinks he can be an astronaut. [Laughs.]

Q: Would he actually go do it?

MB: All right, here’s the funny thing about playing a guy like this: when everything that you’ve done in your life has led up to achieving this dream, and then you believe that hype, it is hard to even tell yourself “no.” That, like, “You can’t do something.” And maybe that’s true, I don’t know. Like, I mean, Jordan did it with baseball, and he was actually pretty good. Maybe if he had stuck with it, he probably could’ve went pro. Like, pro pro. I don’t know, I think his reality is so surreal that, yeah, I could imagine him quitting everything and going to be a photographer. Or quitting everything and trying to be an astronaut, or quitting everything and, y’know, looking for treasure in the Pacific Ocean. [Laughs.] I mean, he’s crazy. Make no mistake about that, he’s crazy. It’s so fun to play.

Q: Where do you get your inspiration from for this role?

MB: Well, like I said, it started off with my dad. My biological father, I should call him. I call my stepdad my dad. I started off with him, and then it kind of had to take its own life on after that, because that only gives you so much information and so much to start with. But it was rooted in that and then kind of sprouted its own life from there. So where do I get my inspiration? You know what? Kanye West actually is somebody that I looked to. I mean, I admire Kanye West, period, because I think that he’s brilliant. His brilliance can’t be denied. But I think he’s also been brilliant in business, in the fact that he puts up a public persona for everybody to attack while he’s just kind of under the radar living his life the way he wants to while you’re attacking his persona. So you have no clue who this guy is. Which I think is amazing. I think it’s really, really smart. I mean, you may not like it, but you got to kind of respect how smart that is. Like, you never are actually criticizing Kanye West. You’re criticizing the persona he’s allowing you to, and I thought that was brilliant. And I thought that TK, who’s probably not as smart as Kanye West, is trying to do something like that. But he’s failing. So he’s just kind of an asshole. [Laughs.]

After seven seasons on the air and surviving a switch between networks (from NBC to CBS), it’s hard to say that “Medium” didn’t live a good, long life. With that said, however, the show had continued to find new ways to keep things interesting, and with the trio of DuBois daughters growing up and getting their own storylines almost as often as their mom. As such, Allison, Joe, and the gang could’ve easily kept going for another few seasons without any complaints from me.

Am I going to try to defend my enjoyment of this show? No, I am not, because there’s no point in wasting your time or mine. You may not have thought it was very funny, and if you didn’t, that would be your right. I, however, did. And I still miss it.

There’s nothing I dislike more than a series that doesn’t know when to leave good enough alone, and for my part, I don’t know why they felt the need to change the formula and kick Skeet Ulrich‘s character to the curb. Sorry, did I say “curb”? I meant “grave,” of course. Not that there’s anything wrong with giving an actor of Alfred Molina’s caliber a more substantial role, but to do so in midseason can’t have pleased the existing viewership very much. Truth be told, I’d rather they’d just kept the original “Law & Order” around, but in its absence, this was a nice substitute, and it sucks that it never had a chance to really spread its wings.

When it comes to casualties in the alien-invasion field, I can accept the cancellation of “V” a bit more than that of “The Event,” if only because it was a minor surprise that it made it to a second season in the first place. And if I’m to be honest, I’m not really surprised that NBC couldn’t be bothered to give “The Event” a shot at a sophomore year, since they probably figured it’d only let them down the way “Heroes” did. But whereas “Heroes” really dropped the ball in its second year, I felt like “The Event” had a better chance of upping the ante. Guess I’ll never know for sure.

My wife’s the one who tipped me to this show, describing it as being more than a little bit “Buffy”-inspired, and I don’t disagree with that assessment, though it’s inevitable that any ABC Family series isn’t going to be as rough and tumble as the adventures of our favorite vampire slayer. Also inevitable, unfortunately, was the fact that it only lasted a single season. Apparently, if a sci-fi series doesn’t feature a hot teenage boy as its lead (stand up, please, “Kyle X-Y”), then it doesn’t have a chance in hell at making it very long on ABC Family.

And what’s the deal with the lack of love for new cop shows? Apparently, America loves crime procedurals to the point where the thought of a little extra character development scares them away. Thankfully, “Blue Bloods” has proven to be at least somewhat of an exception to that rule, but it doesn’t come anywhere near the work that was being done on “The Chicago Code.” Hell, even “Detroit 1-8-7″ didn’t touch “The Chicago Code,” but at least filming in the Motor City gave it a slightly different look than your typical cop show…though, in fairness, having Michael Imperioli and James McDaniel in the cast would’ve made it worth watching no matter where it was set.

If the Germans can learn to love David Hasselhoff, then, dammit, why can’t we as a country see fit to embrace the brilliance that is Norm MacDonald? I don’t even like sports, and I still TiVoed the damned thing every week. America, you’re on notice. Again. (Seriously, I’m about ready to move to Canada. They like me better up there, anyway.)

Yes, I agree that “Happy Endings” has grown substantially as a series since last season, which means that, okay, fine, maybe my previous claims that it should’ve been cancelled instead of “Traffic Light” were said in haste. But I still think “Traffic Light” was a better-than-average comedy about a bunch of friends, and I thought so from the very first episode, so to watch it get even better as it went along and still get denied a second-season pick-up was downright infuriating…though not, I suspect, as infuriating as it was for Tyler Labine to see “Mad Love” lose its battle to stay on the air. The ensemble of Labine, Jason Biggs, Judy Greer, and Sarah Chalke didn’t gel quite as instantly as one might have liked, given the comedic abilities of the foursome, but, again, by the end of season, it was tooling along quite nicely. And what did we get in its place? “2 Broke Girls.” Not that I don’t love Beth Behrs’ impossibly-long legs and the way Kat Dennings always looks like she’s about to bust out of her waitress outfit, but all things being equal, I’d still trade ‘em for another session of “Mad Love.”

I’ll be the first to admit that Season 2 of “Hung” was a less than stellar showing from the series, so much so that I probably wouldn’t have picked it back up in Season 3 if I hadn’t pulled a gig blogging the show for the Onion A.V. Club. That, as it turns out, would’ve been a tremendous mistake, as just about everything that had annoyed me during the show’s second year was discarded (so long, subplots about Ray’s creepy kids!) in favor of ramping up the things that had actually worked…like, say, Lennie James, who worked his acting magic every time he turned up as Tanya’s former-pimp boyfriend. I don’t know that the show has a fanbase substantial enough for us to ever see “Hung: The Movie,” but I’d sure as hell pay to see it.

Just as I was starting to get over FX’s decision to cancel one of 2010′s best new series (“Terriers”), they decided to pull the plug on another great show. I’m sure the reason it never took off was because casual viewers couldn’t get beyond the fact that it sounded like a rehash of “Rocky Balboa,” but it was so much more than that, thanks to Holt McCallany’s performance as Patrick “Lights” Leary, the boxer who, as a result of bad investments over the years, was forced to battle back against pugilistic dementia and get into the ring again in order to support his wife and three daughters. With a supporting cast featuring Stacey Keach as Leary’s dad and an impressively threatening performance by Bill Irwin (between this and “CSI,” I just can’t look at Mr. Noodle the same way ever again), “Lights Out” deserved far better than to hit the canvas after only one season.

Dammit, dammit, dammit. Just typing the title of the show and looking at the shot of Ray Romano, Scott Bakula, and Andre Braugher is making me sad all over again. Some people couldn’t understand all the love that was lavished on the series, but those who saw a bit of themselves in these three men – and, believe me, you didn’t have to be their certain age to be struck by the familiarity – quickly found “Men” to be must-see TV. Joe, Owen and Terry weren’t just characters. They felt like real guys. You don’t get nearly enough of their like on television. I don’t blame TNT for pulling the plug if the ratings weren’t there, but I do blame audiences for not branching out and investigating series that fall slightly outside of their usual viewing patterns. Set aside the predictable once in awhile, wouldja? There’s a lot of great television out there that deserves to thrive, and all it takes is for you to give it a chance.

12. Life As We Know It (ABC, 2004 – 2005): Lasting only 11 episodes before ABC unceremoniously yanked it from the air, “Life As We Know It” premiered during perhaps the most cancel-happy era in television. Developed by two of the producers of “Freaks and Geeks” (maybe the writing was already on the wall), the series may have ultimately been undone by poor ratings, but the Parents Television Council’s campaign against the show’s sexual themes certainly didn’t help. Then again, when you green light a series based on a controversial young-adult novel called “Doing It” that follows the exploits of a trio of best friends (Sean Faris, Jon Foster and Chris Lowell) navigating the highs and lows of adolescence, you can hardly pretend to be surprised when its characters discuss sex on a fairly regular basis.

Featuring a great cast of young up-and-comers that also included Missy Peregrym and Kelly Osbourne (yes, that Kelly Osbourne, who’s never been cuter than she was here), “Life As We Know It” certainly wasn’t perfect by any means, but it easily outshined similar shows like “Dawson’s Creek” and “The O.C.,” particularly in its handling of its adult characters. The series wasn’t without the usual high school clichés, but the writers never shied away from edgier material, either – like a student having a secret affair with his teacher or a star jock dealing with performance issues – resulting in a smart, sweet and incredibly honest look at how sex changes everything. – Jason Zingale

11. Welcome Back, Kotter (ABC, 1975 – 1979): Despite suffering through remedial classes and acting far more rebellious than was deemed socially acceptable, Gabe Kotter (played by the suspiciously similarly-named Gabe Kaplan) still somehow managed to graduate from James Buchanan High School, but who would have thought that the dreams that were his ticket out would lead him back there? (John Sebastian did, of course, but that’s not really relevant to this discussion.) With his teacher certification tucked into his back pocket, Kotter returns to his alma mater and takes on the challenge of trying to educate the new generation of remedial students. Oh, sure, their names have all changed since he hung around – now they’re called Vinnie Barbarino (John Travolta), Arnold Horshack (Ron Palillo), Freddie “Boom-Boom” Washington (Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs), and Juan Epstein (Robert Hegyes) – but they’re still “sweathogs” all the way.

Most would likely agree that “Welcome Back, Kotter” was at its best when it was still the original four Sweathogs, i.e. before Travolta slipped away from television, put on a white suit, and found big-screen success on the dance floor, but even at its funniest, few would probably describe it as the most realistic look into high school life.

“I don’t think anyone was trying to replicate the high school experience so much as they were trying to service those particular characters and write stories about them,” said Mark Evanier, who served as a story editor for the show. “If you could get a good joke out of it, great…though there were times I think we settled for a decent catch-phrase.”

While the words “up your nose with a rubber hose” lend credence to Evanier’s theory, the Marx-Brothers-inspired chemistry between the Sweathogs helps their slapstick shenanigans hold up nonetheless. And, besides, who needs realism when you’ve got Gabe Kaplan doing Groucho? – Will Harris

10. Glee (Fox, 2009 – present): Is it telling that one of the most popular current shows on TV came it at only the #10 spot? If nothing else, maybe it proves we here at Bullz-Eye aren’t prone to fads. Except that maybe we are, as “Glee” has made it onto our TV Power Rankings lists time and again since its debut. But this list isn’t about what entertains us in the broader sense; it’s about great high school shows. As entertaining as “Glee” can be, it has almost nothing real to say about the high school experience, and in fact most of the high school kids I know find it to be pretty nonsensical.

The one area that it seems to excel in as far as capturing the high school experience is in its ability to play romantic musical chairs with its cast of teenage characters. These kids are fickle, and the only guarantee that seems to come with a relationship on “Glee” is that sooner or later it’s going to end. Some props should probably also be given for their attempt to zero in on the bullying issue that so seems to afflict kids today, but “Glee” chose to unfortunately treat the topic with kid gloves rather than say something truly meaningful. None of this is to say that “Glee” isn’t one hell of an entertaining series, because it is, but anyone looking for something a little deeper would do best to dust off their old DVD of “The Breakfast Club.” – Ross Ruediger

9. Square Pegs (CBS, 1982 – 1983): We hate to recycle the opening line of our DVD review for this classic ’80s sitcom, but since the statement still holds true, we’re going to do it, anyway: “Although there’s absolutely nothing inaccurate about labeling ‘Square Pegs’ as an artifact of its time, it’s far too lazy a phrase to use as the sole descriptor of a series that was not only one of the funniest sitcoms of the ‘80s, but the most accurate representation of ostracized high school kids this side of ‘Freaks and Geeks.’” Hyperbole, ahoy…? Not if you grew up in the ’80s, my friend.

Kids today may only see the novelty value in “Square Pegs” (“Hey, look, Sarah Jessica Parker before ‘Sex and the City’!”), but back when dweebs and spazzes were still busy battling preppies and valley girls, it was – you’ll pardon the expression – totally awesome to see new wave kids represented in a halfway-accurate fashion in prime time. Admittedly, characters like Johnny Slash (Merritt Butrick), Jennifer DeNuccio (Tracy Nelson), and Muffy Tepperman (Jami Gertz) were painted with some pretty broad strokes, but those of us who suffered through the lower circles of the hell that is high school saw kindred spirits in Patty Greene (the aforementioned Ms. Parker), Lauren Hutchinson (Amy Linker), or, in my case, Marshall Blechtman (John Femia). That I was forever mystified while Marshall wasn’t considered the most hilarious kid at Weemawee High School says, I fear, rather a lot about my social standing. – Will Harris

8. Skins (2007 – present): Even though the preceding parenthetical run dates should already make it evident, let’s go ahead and clarify this point right up front: we’re talking about the UK version of “Skins,” not MTV’s attempt at Americanization. Not that we blame the network formerly known for providing Music Television for trying to put their own stamp on the property, but if all they were going to do was water it down for Stateside sensibilities, then they really needn’t have bothered. There’s a reason why creators Bryan Elsley and Jamie Brittain have been recognized by the British Academy of Film and Television Arts and Rose d’Or festival, precious little of which can be seen on “our” version.

“If parents were freaking out over the incredibly unrealistic scenarios presented in ‘Gossip Girl,’” we mused in our review of “Skins: Volume One,” “then one can only imagine the series of heart attacks and strokes that could occur from viewing the disconcertingly real circumstances within this show.” That’s not to say that the level of teenage sex, drugs, and general mischief seen on “Skins” are the norm, but what will make them so disconcerting to moms and dads is that they’re presented in a manner which, unlike in your typical CW series, will make you fear that your child could be doing the same thing at the very moment! Another impressive element of “Skins” is the creators’ decision to phase out characters after a season or two, which keeps the show fresh. Shame about the MTV version, but don’t let that stop you from embracing the brilliance of the original.

7. The White Shadow (CBS, 1978 – 1981): Ken Howard starred as Ken Reeves, a former NBA player whose career is cut short by injury. An old friend reaches out to him and Reeves gives up the pros, moves to L.A. and becomes the unlikely coach of an inner city basketball team. The set up is very high concept, but the execution of “The White Shadow” was much more down to earth. Created by Bruce Paltrow, the series explored the lives of the young men, an eclectic cast of blacks and whites, as much as it dealt with Reeves adapting to his new lifestyle. With Reeves taking on the role of father figure, he did his best to help each kid reach his potential.

An early example of a dramedy, the series introduced us to memorable characters like Morris Thorpe, Go-Go Gomez, Reese, Salami (and his car, the Motel California) and of course, Coolidge. Each kid had spark and charm and made coming back each week a joy, even though the roads they travelled were often full of roadblocks like racism, drugs and violence. That rare show aimed at men of all ages that didn’t involve cops or lawyers, “The White Shadow” holds up today because it treated the high school kids like real people and not just caricatures drawn up in an executives office. – Scott Malchus

6. Parker Lewis Can’t Lose (Fox, 1990 – 1993): What “30 Rock” is to actual television production, and what “Arrested Development” was to the real real estate business, “Parker Lewis Can’t Lose” was to high school life. Wrongly tagged as a knock-off of “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” but with an admitted debt to Phil Joanou’s little seen “Three O’Clock High,” this early 1990s sitcom was years ahead of its time in breaking the static mold of the single-camera sitcom and foreshadowing the camera tricks of more recent live-action cartoons like “Malcolm in the Middle” and “My Name is Earl.” Created by Clyde Phillips and Lon Diamond, the comedy portrayed high school not as the setting for emotional ordeals, but a place where, if valuable life-lessons were to be learned, they were going to be learned in the context of an absurdist comic wonderland of spoofery that recalled both “Rock and Roll High School” and “Airplane!”

Week after week, Corin Nemec‘s preternaturally resourceful and resilient title character, soulful pompadoured rebel Mikey Randall (Billy Jayne), and insanely accomplished neurotic super-nerd and high-tech jacket wearer Jerry Steiner (Troy Slaten) thwarted the fun-killing evil plans of Principal Grace Musso (Melanie Chartoff) and Parker’s diabolical kid sister, Shelly (Maia Brewton), with cartoonish aplomb on a show that was mostly about silly spoofs, Bugs Bunny-eseque slapstick, and wish fulfillment. Dealing with the realities of adolescence was fine for other shows, but when it came to good-natured pokes at teen drama cliches, current events, and television itself, “Parker Lewis Can’t Lose” was a consistent winner. – Bob Westal

5. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (The WB, 1997 – 2001 / UPN, 2001 – 2003): Joss Whedon‘s most popular and analyzed creation is never oversubtle in the metaphor department. Was your high school a living hell? Sunnydale High sits over a “hellmouth” which attracts all forms of evil. Is teen sex fraught with peril in your experience? When Buffy Summers (Sarah Michelle Gellar), finally sleeps with her heroic vampire boyfriend, Angel (David Boreanaz), he literally loses his soul and commences eating her friends. A combination of epic fantasy a la Marvel Comics, action, not-too-scary monster horror, and soap opera with generous portions of the kind of fast-paced verbal comedy that supposedly died in 1964, “Buffy” became a television classic because it was as honest as it was fun.

Many complained when Whedon killed off sympathetic and popular characters, but a truly excellent show based on the very idea of death had to occasionally deal with death. For seven frequently brilliant, hugely inventive seasons starting in 1997, “Buffy” was equally honest, and often hilariously satiric, on topics ranging from bad relationships, to bigotry, conformism, religion, and the fact that life cam be so complicated that even the smartest among us have no clue how to deal with it. High school might be a kind of hell for some, but when Buffy and her friends graduated, the struggles only became more complex. The good news was that, with loyal friends and family members, life could be survived and enjoyed, as well as suffered. If several of those friends have super powers, even better.

4. Friday Night Lights (NBC, 2006 – 2011): Pure. That’s the only way to describe this honest, sincere portrayal of life in a small Texas city, where the ebb and flow of life revolved around the success of the high school football teams. Through five seasons, we saw a parade of characters that rang true to the real high school experience. Unfortunately, the show only attracted a loyal, cult like audience. People didn’t want realism; they wanted to escape and forget about their problems. Yet, through the wonderfully drawn characters, especially the core of the series, football coach, Eric Taylor (Kyle Chandler), and his wife, high school counselor, Tami (Connie Britton), “Friday Night Lights” offered something sorely lacking in American television: hope.

We saw teenagers face devastating injuries, get abandoned by their parents, deal with drug issues, unwanted pregnancies and the threat of jail and death. Yet, through the example set by the Taylors, at the end of every day there was an optimism that permeated from the dusty streets of Dillon. For its depiction of small town America and its truthfulness in portraying the high school experience, “Friday Night Lights” will go down as one of the premiere television dramas of the past decade, if not in the history of television. Like I said, pure. – Scott Malchus

3. Veronica Mars (UPN, 2004 – 2006 / The CW, 2006 – 2007): Juggling school work, extra-curricular activities, and dealing with the negative effects that doing the right thing can have on your social status are not new grounds for a show set in high school. Ah, but what if the high school student was also a private investigator, and not just a private investigator but a smoking hot private investigator? Then they would be Veronica Mars, who’s thrown to the dogs by her rich friends (her sheriff father suspected one of their fathers of murder) and forced to recruit a new band of Scoobies to help her solve crime and survive the hallways of Neptune High.

Kristen Bell has to know that this was a once-in-a-lifetime part for her – hell, she pretty much acknowledges and makes fun of that in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” – and she made the most of it, making the guarded but vulnerable Veronica one of the most desirable women on television, even though her personal life was a shambles. She didn’t solve cupcake cases involving missing puppies, either. Veronica solved murders (including that of her best friend, which sent her boyfriend’s father to jail), caught rapists (including her own), and hung out with Latino bikers. To use characters from fellow high school show “Freaks and Geeks,” Veronica Mars is like Lindsay Weir and Kim Kelly rolled into one, street smart and tough but kind-hearted, and her supporting cast, particularly Jason Dohring and Enrico Colantoni as Veronica’s boyfriend and father, respectively, was exceptional. One of the rare shows where the high school drama has its rightful place in the grand scheme of things: at the bottom. – David Medsker

2. My So-Called Life (ABC, 1994 – 1995): It stands to reason that “My So-Called Life” and – spoiler alert! – “Freaks and Geeks” should take the top two spots on our list. They are, after all, not only great shows about high school, but truthful shows about life, full of poignancy, heartbreak and humor. This series is more feminine in its approach, whereas “Freaks and Geeks” has more of a masculine take. Claire Danes was all but a nobody when this series hit the airwaves, but that didn’t stop her from deftly imbuing Angela Chase with all the angst, hope and desire that goes along with being a teenager.

One of the most famous episodes of the series revolved around Angela being tormented by a zit, and that, more than anything else, is what being a teenager is really all about. It’s that time in your life when the smallest things carry the biggest weight. Teens change, but certain aspects of that period of years remain constant no matter what the decade. “My So-Called Life” life is just as tight and smart today as it was when ABC unveiled it 17 years ago. Many have bemoaned its early cancellation (it only lasted 19 episodes) and rightly so, as there were obviously many, many more stories to tell. But the positive side is that it got created at all, and you’ve still not seen it, by all means pick up the complete-series set from Shout! Factory. – Ross Ruediger

1. Freaks and Geeks (NBC, 1999 – 2000): Judd Apatow may have turned into a household name with the college crowd as a result of his film work, but he earned a special place in the hearts of TV critics and discerning viewers when he served as the executive producer of the single season wonder known as “Freaks and Geeks,” created by Paul Feig. The latter gentleman doesn’t get nearly enough credit for what he brought to the table for the series, but anyone who’s taken the time to read both volumes of his memoirs – Kick Me: Adventures in Adolescence and Superstud: Or How I Became A 24-Year-Old Virgin – knows of Feig’s firsthand familiarity with freakdom.

It only takes a single glance at the above photo to see that the show had a cast to die for: the freaks were James Franco, Jason Segel, Seth Rogen, and Busy Philipps, who’s now on “Cougar Town,” the geeks were Samm Levine (“Inglorious Basterds”) and Martin Starr (“Party Down”), and somewhere in between were Lindsay Weir (Linda Cardellini, late of “ER”) and her little brother, Sam (John Francis Daley, currently of “Bones”). It’s no surprise that this crew could make with the funny whenever it was required of them, but much of the humor was the sort that made you laugh both because it was funny and because you’d lived through something similar yourself, a feeling aided in no small way by having the show set in the early 1980s. Unfortunately, between the retro setting and the odd title, “Freaks and Geeks” failed to pull a large audience, a fact which seems inconceivable when you consider how many people have subsequently fallen in love with it on DVD, thanks to Shout Factory. Indeed, after watching the complete-series set, one is hard pressed to comprehend how viewers didn’t riot in the streets when the series got its walking papers. “Freaks and Geeks” isn’t just a great high school show. It’s one of the best TV series of all time. – Will Harris

Extra Credit: What, like you really thought we’d be able to narrow it down to just 12 series? Get real. Here are some of our other favorites. We still left some out, of course, but you’ve got to stop somewhere, haven’t you? (Besides, this gives you plenty of room to complain in the comments section about what we’ve forgotten.)

21 Jump Street (Fox, 1987 – 1991): God only knows what the hell we should expect from the forthcoming film adaptation of this early offering from the Fox network, but it’s a fair bet that Jonah Hill won’t walk out with the same sex-symbol status that Johnny Depp earned while playing Officer Tom Hanson. The concept of “21 Jump Street” involved a quartet of fresh-faced cops – played by Depp, Holly Robinson, Peter Deluise, and Dustin Ngyuen, with Richard Grieco joining the cast in ’88 and then spinning off into his own short-lived series, “Booker” – working undercover as high school students, regularly reporting back to their supervisor, Captain Fuller (Steven Williams). Lots of hot teen topics were tackled, most of which were resolved within an hour, just like in real life. – Will Harris

Beverly Hills, 90210 (Fox, 1990 – 2000): Although the current incarnation of this classic series (The CW’s “90210″) may have finally found its own identity now that it’s in its third season, trying to dismiss the classic classroom drama of Brandon, Brenda, Dylan, and Kelly is basically asking to get your ass kicked. (Those original-series fans are a tenacious bunch.) Few will deny that the show went on a couple of seasons longer than it probably should have, and the jokes about twentysomethings trying to get away with playing high schoolers were absolutely on the mark, but neither of those observations change the fact that “Beverly Hills 90210″ defined the nighttime teen soap genre. Will Harris

Clone High (MTV, 2002 – 2003): Was this the greatest concept for a high school show ever…? You be the judge: it’s a high school entirely populated by clones of famous historical figures, created as an experiment by the U.S. military in order to harness their mental and physical abilities for the good of the nation. Abe Lincoln, JFK, Genghis Khan, Cleopatra, George Washington Carver, Helen of Troy…even Mahatma Gandhi.

“I loved that show, man,” Bill Lawrence, the co-creator of the series, told Premium Hollywood in 2009. “Once you’ve been doing this long enough, you have a couple of things in your past, you have failures that you feel failed rightfully so, and you have some failures that you’re, like, ‘That was wrong.’ TV has so many elements out of your control, be it marketing, timeslots, promotion, luck of the draw…or the Indian government, like “Clone High.’”

Yeah, that whole thing about including Gandhi as one of the students? Not such a hit in India. Nearly 150 Indian MPs and political activists pledged to fast in protest of the series…or, as E! Online put it, “(MTV) came under fire from Indian officials offended by ‘Clone High”s ‘toon version of Gandhi, a high schooler purportedly cloned from the assassinated Mohandas Gandhi, who goes by the nicknames G-Man, and DNA Dan, (and) has an affinity for dangly earrings, rap music, junk food and ‘being the ultimate party animal.’”

I am shocked…shocked!…that Indians would be unamused by such a depiction of the father of satyagraha. Me, though, I thought the show was hilarious. – Will Harris

Daria (MTV, 1997 – 2001): It’s easy to forget that “Daria,” the whip-smart animated series about a wise-beyond-her-years high school misanthrope who never met a line she couldn’t underdeliver, was a spin-off of the pinnacle of dumbness, “Beavis & Butt-Head.” Fortunately, the similarities end there. Daria is a rare beast of teenager, one who clearly isn’t like the other kids, but rather than having a complex or an attitude about it, she instead observes her peers – and pretty much everyone else – with detached amusement, never getting involved and never getting hurt.

Where she inherited this personality trait is anyone’s guess, as everyone in her family is a high-strung head case, but it leads to some incredible verbal volleying with her vain but secretly smart sister Quinn, who’s one of the greatest animated characters in TV history. Even better is Trent, the slacker older brother of Daria’s best friend Jane and, temperament-wise, a perfect match for Daria. In all other aspects of life, though, they couldn’t be less alike (he’s seven years older and still lives at home). Ultimately, the true genius of “Daria” is how they provided so many shallow characters with so much depth; frankly, it’s amazing that MTV allowed something so unassumingly witty to run as long as they did. – David Medsker

Degrassi: The Next Generation (CTV, 2001 – 2009 / MuchMusic, 2010 – present): No list of high school series would be complete without a mention of this Canadian phenomenon that has lasted a staggering ten seasons on the air. Seen in the U.S. on TeenNick, “Degrassi: The Next Generation” has had a multitude of cast members (as students have grown and moved away) and introduced the world to the talents of Shenae Grimes (“Beverly Hills: 90210), Nina Dobrev (“The Vampire Diaries) and recording artist, Drake (who acted under his birth name, Aubrey Graham).

While characters have come and gone, one thing that has not changed is “Degrassi’s” dedication to tackling sensitive issues such as drugs, rape, abortion and mental illness in a realistic and thoughtful manner. Some of the plotlines may border on the soapy (this is a teen series after all), but the producers have always written with a purity that is lacking in pretty much every crass sitcom or adventure show marketed to teenagers. Obviously, the Bullz-Eye readership is not the intended audience of “Degrassi: The Next Generation,” (unless you’re a teenage boy who got sidetracked from the models pages) but if you are a fan of YA literature or high school shows in general, this Canadian import is worth checking out. – Scott Malchus

Everwood (The WB, 2002 – 2006): New York City piano protégé, Ephram Brown (Gregory Smith) is uprooted by his grieving father and moved with his younger sister to a small Colorado town. Full of himself and angry over the death of his mother, Ephram has no desire to integrate into the rural community of Everwood. But he has no choice, and viewers were thankful that his father, Dr. Andy Brown, refused to return the family back to New York. With a stellar cast, led by Treat Williams as Andy, “Everwood” was the rare family show being broadcast on any major network during the early 2000’s.

Although Williams was billed as the star, it wasn’t Andy’s story that was so compelling. It was Ephram’s and his coming of age. “Everwood” had many of the hallmarks of a teen series – the outcast trying to fit in, the girl of his dreams (Emily VanCamp) that he would eventually win, the high school bully (Chris Pratt) who would become his best friend – but it succeeded because of the sensitivity it used in approaching these universal themes, and by its execution. Often praised as one of the best written and well acted shows of its time, the series only lasted four seasons, a victim of the WB/UPN merger. However, the first three seasons of “Everwood” are available on DVD and well worth your time. – Scott Malchus

Fame (NBC, 1982 – 1983 / Syndication, 1983 – 1987): It’s appropriate, I suppose, that the only part about “Fame” that’s lived forever in my memory is its name…and I probably wouldn’t even remember that if Irene Cara’s theme song wasn’t so damned catchy. Still, the cinematic story of the New York City High School for the Performing Arts (which, though fictional, is directly inspired by the Fiorello H. LaGuardia High School of Music & Art and Performing Arts, also in New York) spawned a series that survived network cancellation to run for an additional four seasons in syndication, which is nothing to sneeze at. I’m not sure it’s a good thing that it inspired a generation of insufficiently-talented kids to say, “I am totally talented enough to go to one of those schools,” but I guess it’s no worse than the similar delusions inspired by “American Idol.” – Will Harris

Head of the Class (ABC, 1986 – 1991): Who knew that Johnny Fever’s doctorate was an EdD? (We’d always presumed it was something to do with pharmaceuticals.)

After seeing the three dispensable seasons of “WKRP in Cincinnati” episodes rerun over and over and over again, it was somewhat jarring to see a ‘stache-less Howard Hesseman not only standing in front of a classroom, wearing a coat and/or tie (but rarely both) and shaping young minds, but – gasp! – wearing a suit. Charlie Moore (Hesseman) came into a Manhattan high school as a substitute history teacher, but he soon finds himself as the full-time instructor to the school’s academically-gifted students, including nerdy Arvid (Dan Frischman), chubby Dennis (Dan Schneider), super-spoiled Darlene (Robin Givens), and Janice (Tannis Vallely), otherwise known as the little girl with pigtails and glasses. By the time the series wrapped, however, Hesseman was long gone, having been replaced by Billy Connolly, a very funny man who, alas, was never really in a position to play to his comedic strengths.

“Head of the Class” wasn’t what you’d call edgy, but it’s worthy of mention because of its noble efforts to take away some of the stigma of being a smart kid. Unfortunately, it’s also pretty dated, which is why you don’t see it in syndication very much anymore. (Those Reagan jokes just don’t play the way they used to.) – Will Harris

James at 15 / James at 16 (NBC, 1977 – 1978): It’s almost quaint to think that this series, which changed its title with the age of its lead character, erupted in controversy over the network’s decision to make James – played by Lance Kerwin – feel bad about losing his virginity. Indeed, the show’s creator, Dan Wakefield, quit the show as a result.

According to People at the time…

Wakefield submitted a script calling for James to yield his virtue to a Swedish exchange student on his 16th birthday. (The title will simultaneously age to James at 16.) But squeamish NBC censors balked at Wakefield’s treatment of sex and contraception and had the show rewritten to “punish” the young lovers with guilt. “The network didn’t mind that James was going to have sex,” claims Wakefield, who is working in television for the first time, “but they said even a vague mention of birth control [James' euphemism: "Are you responsible?"] made the episode too controversial. I felt it would have been totally irresponsible not to include that reference.” NBC answers that the script’s problem was not birth control but the “dangerous ground” of “promiscuity.”

History, thankfully, has allowed Wakefield to have the last laugh: when people look back at this storyline now, the only thing they’re thinking is, “Man, I wish I’d lost my virginity to a Swedish exchange student. That’d only be, like, the best first-time story ever!”

Room 222 (ABC, 1969 – 1974): You didn’t need to be a media theorist to figure out that this witty, well-acted comedy-drama, created by a young James L. Brooks, operated on a formula.

It would start with comedic repartee between wry, befuddled principal Seymour Kaufman (Michael Constantine) — yes, there probably is a “Simpsons” connection there — adorably zany student teacher Alice Johnson (Karen Valentine), smart school-counselor Liz McIntyre (Denise Nicolas), and history teacher Pete Dixon (Lloyd Haynes). Since Mr. Dixon and Miss McIntyre were both thirtyish and African-American, it followed that they were dating.

After the first commercial break, a troubled student would emerge, often with a problem ripped from the headlines of the day. After the second break, the troubled student would have a heart-to-heart chat with the extremely wise, compassionate and Poitier-esque Mr. Haynes. By the epilogue, the student would be on the road to a productive adult life.

To be fair, the formula did get broken at times, and the show was a trailblazer in its relatively realistic depiction of the kinds of multi-ethnic schools that were then emerging in racial-strife-torn Los Angeles. It also remains a frightening depiction of early 1970s male hairstyles. Wacky comedy relief student Bernie (David Jolliffe) sported television’s most massive Jewfro, which easily dwarfed the staid Afros of black characters like his buddy, Jason (Heshimu). Bernie’s hair didn’t win any awards, but, by God, it deserved its own show. – Bob Westal

Saved by the Bell (NBC, 1989 – 1993): All things being equal, if we’re going to watch Elizabeth Berkeley in something, we’d just as soon make it “Showgirls” (the acting’s just as bad, but as least we get nudity), but we can’t deny the staying power of this kitschy Saturday morning sitcom. That doesn’t mean we have to write much about it, though. – Will Harris

The Wonder Years (ABC, 1988 – 1993): Given that every single member of the Bullz-Eye staff swears by this coming-of-age comedy…or dramedy, really, once you consider how many times it made us tear up over the years…it’s a little surprising that Kevin Arnold and company didn’t actually rank in the list proper. Or is it?

I don’t know about you, but when I think of “The Wonder Years,” I think most specifically of the early episodes, when Kevin and Winnie weren’t even in their teens yet (Fred Savage was 12 when the show started). Plus, so many of the key storylines involved the Arnold family that, even with all of those appearances by Robert Picardo as Coach Cutlip and that gut-wrenching episode when Kevin’s algebra teacher dies unexpectedly from a heart attack, I just don’t think of “The Wonder Years” first and foremost as a high school show…not that that makes it any less awesome. – Will Harris

1. Rachel & Joey, “Friends”

Given that just about everyone has had a crush on a friend at some point in their lives, it made sense that a show called “Friends” would make use of that concept, and in addition to the long-running “will they or won’t they” of the Ross and Rachel relationship, Monica and Chandler proved to be a surprisingly effective combination as well. But Rachel and Joey…? That’s just taking things a step too far.

Actually, the two never took their relationship to the toppermost of the poppermost, if you will, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. The storyline began with Joey (Matt LeBlanc) suffering through a major crush on Rachel (Jennifer Aniston), one which she ultimately decided was worth risking their friendship to expand into something more. When they tried to get down and dirty, however, Rachel kept finding herself instinctually slapping Joey’s hands back, and Joey found that he’d lost his gift for unstrapping bras. Attempts to loosen each other up with champagne failed just as miserably, and in the end, the two decided that the problem was that they’d become better friends over the years than Monica and Chandler were when they became a couple.

Some have questioned whether the awkwardness between Aniston and LeBlanc during their romantic scenes was behind the decision to stop the Rachel / Joey relationship dead in its tracks, but let’s chalk that up to acting, as it seems far more likely that the writers just wanted to have a bit of fun with the characters. But thank God the fun ended when it did. – Will Harris

2. Ray & Jenna, “Dallas”

“Dallas” is a series overflowing with mismatched couples and people who are just altogether wrong for each other. As it’s a soap opera, that sort of stuff goes with the territory. So it of course stands to reason that the “Dallas” coupling ending up on this list is actually rather harmonious, all things considered, anyway. Farm hand and rancher Ray Krebbs (Steve Kanaly) hooking up with and marrying little miss screw loose Jenna Wade (Priscilla Presley)? Gimme a break.

Jenna had a nearly lifelong attachment to Ray’s brother, Bobby Ewing (Patrick Duffy), which mercifully crumbled – mercifully, I say, because this woman was batshit crazy. Given the sheer hell Bobby went through with her – nearly all of which Ray was witness to – it made no sense after his marriage to the rock that was Donna (Susan Howard) ended, that he would fall into the arms of this emotional basket case. Worst of all though is how the couple was eventually written off the series: They moved to Europe. Ray Krebbs leaving Texas to move to Europe is a piece of off-screen character development that has to boggle the mind of even the most forgiving “Dallas” aficionado. Ray Krebbs was Texas.

Man, I hope he at least found a flock of sheep to keep him busy on those cold European winter nights, because one thing’s for certain, that nutty woman had to have had another breakdown, probably near the border of France and Germany. – Ross Ruediger

3. Sayid & Shannon, “Lost”

For a show that prided itself on great characters and the various relationships they forged during their time on the island, “Lost” still had its share of questionable partnerships, especially of the romantic variety. But while we were never big fans of the ongoing love triangle between Jack, Kate and Sawyer, the relationship that rang the most untrue was undoubtedly Sayid and Shannon.

Though it might have made sense on paper – Shannon needed someone to fill the protector role after Boone was killed, and there wasn’t a better candidate (no pun intended) around than Sayid – the whole romance came out of left field, forcing the audience to blindly accept that they had fallen in love within a matter of days. Thankfully, it didn’t last long, as Shannon was the next major castaway to bite the dust when Ana Lucia accidentally shot her. But it wasn’t the last we saw of the couple, as they were reunited in the season finale to spend eternity together in the afterlife.

It was a revelation that threw most viewers for a loop. After all, wasn’t Sayid’s one true love supposed to be Nadia? Then why did he end up with the blonde bimbo? It certainly left a sour taste in our mouths – one that not even a cold Dharma beer could cure. – Jason Zingale

4. Niles & Daphne, “Frasier”

Don’t get us wrong. We love Niles Crane (David Hyde-Pierce). We really love Daphne Moon (Jane Leeves). We even loved it that super-effete psychiatrist Niles had an enormous case of the hots for the down-to-earth yet adorably eccentric physical therapist. As long as Daphne remained oblivious to the obvious cravings of the poorly married, sexually frustrated Niles, it was a reliable and emotionally sound source of laughs that demonstrated both Leeves and Hyde-Pierce’s remarkable comic skills. Then, Niles divorced the eternally unseen Maris and the writers decided to have Daphne finally notice Niles’ affection and, worse, return it.

Aside from losing a great running gag, the fact of the matter was that the hugely neurotic, hugely educated dweeb with his passions for opera and wine clubs had little in common with an empathetic, slightly goofy child of the English working class. It was easy to see why Niles would be attracted to Daphne, but hard to imagine why she’d feel the same way, or what they’d actually talk about or do together. Perhaps coincidentally, perhaps not, the consummation of the relationship and their eventual marriage coincided with the rapid creative degeneration of “Frasier” in its later seasons. Sometimes the worst curse can be the granting of a fondest wish. – Bob Westal

5. Conor & Cordelia, “Angel”

When you talk about “relationships from hell,” it doesn’t get that much more literal than this particular romance from the “Buffy” spin-off’s penultimate season. Viewers screamed, and not in a good way, when heroic vampire Angel’s theoretically impossible teenage human son Conor (Vincent Kartheiser) took up with 20-something demon hunter Cordelia Chase (Charisma Carpenter). Given that Cordy had been in a quasi-parental role with the barely-of-age Conor and had occasionally committed osculation with his vamp dad, the term “ick!” and references to Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn filled fan message boards. In any case, the whole thing was dreadfully out of character for the increasingly compassionate and morally astute Ms. Chase.

Since this is Joss Whedon’s Buffyverse, the real Cordy’s consciousness was supernaturally out of the loop and the whole thing turned out to be a set-up for a creepy pregnancy (more cries of “ick!”) and the birth of a terrifying goddess-gone-wrong, Jasmine (Gina Torres). Some of us dug the Jasmine plot line, but it was one awfully long walk getting there and subjected the actors to no end of fan poutrage. Vincent Kartheiser did, however, ultimately attain his karmic reward as weaselly Pete Campbell of “Mad Men,” where he regularly makes viewers go “ick!,” and like it. – BW

6. Scorpius & Sikozu, “Farscape”

Imagine George Lucas decided to give Darth Vader a girlfriend in “Return of the Jedi.” On second thought, don’t – because given Lucas’s track record of tinkering with the “Star Wars” movies, it could yet happen, and I don’t want to tempt fate. (George, if you’re reading, this is not the plot development you’re looking for.) Scorpius (Wayne Pygram) was the baddest mother-freller in the Uncharted Territories, and yet, in Season Four of “Farscape,” the writers decided he needed to be getting a little somethin’-somethin’ to soothe his twisted, black heart, and so he got a gal to get all black leather kinky with, Sikozu (Raelee Hill), who was as smokin’ hot as he was hideous and deformed.

Full disclosure: At the time, being a devotee of all things Scorpy, I actually rather liked the idea, but time has not been good Sikopius or Scokozu, or whatever you want to call their unwholesome coupling. From today’s vantage point, it’s all really very silly, and it dragged one of the coolest characters on the show down to the point where he was obsessing over fucking flowers. Luckily, when the series was resurrected in the form of the miniseries “The Peacekeeper Wars,” Sikozu betrayed Scorpius, and he kicked her to the curb, although in this fan’s humble opinion, not nearly hard enough. The poor bastard half-breed really had grown soft. – RR

7. Maddie & David, “Moonlighting”

Maddie and David’s third-season hookup usually gets the blame for “Moonlighting’s” shockingly swift decline from Top Ten series to the TV graveyard, and while that isn’t entirely fair — a bunch of other stuff probably would have killed the show anyway, from incessant repeats caused by the writers’ strike to Cybill Shepherd’s pregnancy and maternity leave — it was still a pretty terrible idea. This became clear after the strike ended and the show didn’t need to come up with excuses to keep its stars apart: Where it was once fueled by some of the sharpest banter and most palpable sexual chemistry on television, “Moonlighting” ended a hollow shell of its former self, with Shepherd and Bruce Willis clearly bored with their characters. And who could blame them? The writers did a brilliant job of investing us in David and Maddie’s relationship, and setting up the answer to the will-they-or-won’t-they question, but they never seemed to consider what came next. The answer, in this case: two seasons of taking a back seat to Herbert Viola and Agnes DiPesto. Not pretty. – Jeff Giles

8. Joel & Maggie, “Northern Exposure”

It ended on something of a low note, but of all the couples on this list, Joel Fleischman and Maggie O’Connell actually had a pretty good run, especially in the often abysmal context of love/hate TV relationships. Thanks to some terrific writers and a solid supporting cast, “Northern Exposure” spent its first five seasons teasing out the suppressed attraction simmering beneath Maggie and Joel’s enmity. But then Rob Morrow had to go and decide he didn’t want to play Fleischman anymore, bringing their long-running tug-of-war to a premature (albeit surprisingly moving) conclusion — and leaving Janine Turner with no one to throw sparks with, and leaving viewers with the agreeable-but-in-no-way-comparable Paul Provenza in his stead. By the end of Season Six, it was all over for “Northern Exposure,” a show that had been an Emmy darling only a few years before. It all felt so…unnecessary, you know? – JG

9. Troi & Worf, “Star Trek: The Next Generation”

As a rule, Klingons are not a race to be pitied, but you have to feel at least a little bit bad for poor Worf. After spending many years avoiding any sort of romantic entanglements on the U.S.S. Enterprise-D, fearing that non-humans would be too fragile, Worf (Michael Dorn) found himself developing feelings for the ship’s counselor, Deanna Troi (Marina Sirtis). Yes, we know the heart wants what the heart wants, but, really, talk about a relationship brought to you by Bad Idea Jeans. Since the very first episode of “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” it had been established that Troi and the Enterprise’s first officer, William Riker, had once been an item, and since neither character had been paired up for the long haul, it was reasonable for the fans to presume that someday, perhaps in the series finale, they’d finally get together. How cruel, then, that the writers decided to dash the fans’ hopes by creating arguably the least likely couple this side of Data and Tasha Yar.

Perhaps there was a kernel of a good idea in seeing if Deanna could tame Worf’s warrior ways, but it hardly made up for pulling the rug out from under poor Will Riker. By the time the “Next Generation” cast had made their transition to the big screen, the Troi / Worf relationship was dismissed to the point where “Star Trek: Insurrection” found Riker and Troi heavily flirting with each other, setting up the opening sequence in “Star Trek: Nemesis” where the two are preparing to finally tie the knot. Poor Worf, meanwhile, appears to either be drunk or terribly hung over; either way, the poor bastard has clearly attempted to drink away his sorrows in some capacity. Who’s the fragile one now? – WH

10. The Fonz & Ashley , “Happy Days”

His name may have been Arthur Fonzarelli, but the only person who dared to call him “Arthur” and lived to tell the tale was Marion Cunningham. Everyone else referred to him as…The Fonz. Kids, we hate to go all “old fogie” on your ass, but, seriously, you just can’t appreciate how completely cool we thought The Fonz was back in the ‘70s. Henry Winkler took the character and made him someone that guys wanted to be and girls wanted to be with…and, boy, was he with a lot of girls! After nine seasons of playing the field, however, the powers that be decided that maybe it was finally time for The Fonz to settle down and find himself a steady lady friend. Fair enough, but given his past tastes in women, we expected someone along the lines of the leather-wearing Pinky Tuscadero. Instead, we got…a perky single mom? Not that Ashley Pfister (Linda Purl) wasn’t a cutie, a trait which she clearly passed down to her daughter, Heather, but watching Fonzie try to date her was like watching a square peg try to slip through a round hole. It didn’t take long to realize that the gold standard of coolness had been neutered, and by the next season of “Happy Days,” The Fonz was single once more. – WH

11. Willow & Tara, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”

Okay, we realize that we’re walking on eggshells when complaining about a lesbian relationship, partially because we don’t want to be perceived as being homophobic, but mostly because, c’mon, what straight guy doesn’t want to see two chicks getting it on? But neither of these points are the reason why we’ve included these lovely ladies on our list. Frankly, we’ve always just felt that the Willow / Tara relationship came completely out of left field. First, we watched Willow (Allyson Hannigan) gaze longingly at Xander as she suffered through a long-unrequited crush. Soon, however, she found solace in the arms of Oz, and although their relationship ended rather messily (that’s what happens when you date a werewolf), there was still no reason to believe that she would suddenly start playing for the other team and fall for Tara (Amber Benson). As such, her transition from straight to gay was one which felt completely unearned. Yes, of course Willow and Tara were cute as hell together, and we were as shocked and saddened as anyone else when poor Tara was gunned down, but, hey, all we’re saying is that we’re pretty sure that Oz could’ve taken down Warren with no muss, no fuss, and no Dark Willow, either. – WH

12. Barney & Robin, “How I Met Your Mother”

This won’t be the first time we’ve used this phrase within this piece, but it’s undeniable: the pairing of Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) and Robin (Cobie Smulders) really did look good on paper. They’re both pretty people, both of them suffer from a serious fear of commitment, and they both enjoy watching sports, tossing back drinks, and having sex. If they could’ve just brokered a deal where the sex didn’t have to be accompanied by any semblance of romance, everything would’ve been just fine.

Alas, there was an unfortunate wrinkle in the storyline: Barney was in love with Robin. We knew this to be the case even before the two of them hooked up – it was a major plotline throughout Season 4 – but once they finally got together, started having sex, and eventually defined their arrangement as an actual relationship, it felt like an egregious sin against everything the so-called “Bro Code” stood for. Inevitably, the two of them broke up, realizing that they brought out the worst in each other, and viewers breathed a sigh of relief. It was only temporary, though: even now, there are recurring reminders on the show that Barney still has feelings for Robin. In other words, keep your guard up. WH

13. George & Izzie, “Grey’s Anatomy”

I’ll be honest with you: I’ve never watched “Grey’s Anatomy” and therefore don’t know the first thing about the characters on the show or their relationships. I am assured by many others, however, that the decision to pair up George O’Malley (T. R. Knight) and Izzy Stevens (Katherine Heigl) was the stupidest move in the history of the series. Indeed, you may remember one of those “others” from the Bullz-Eye archives: she once went by the nom de plume Buffybot, and this is what she had to say:

“George and Izzie together was a horrible idea. They were best friends, but in a brother-sister kind of way. Fans derisively called the couple “Gizzie,” and many got so fed up they quit watching the show. Making matters worse were the facts that A) George was married to a really great character at the time (Callie) who by no means deserved to be cheated on, and B) Izzie’s coupling with George came right after the excellent storyline revolving around her tragic romance with the doomed (and ever so much more dreamy) Denny.”

We should probably also add that Television Without Pity almost included George and Izzie on their list of rotten TV relationships, but instead said, “Our parents taught us that it wasn’t nice to speak ill of the dead, even if it is just a fake TV dead.” Fortunately, we here at Bullz-Eye have no such standards. – WH

14. Jack & Vicky, “Three’s Company” / “Three’s A Crowd”

After eight seasons of chasing everything in a skirt across Santa Monica, Jack Tripper (John Ritter) finally found “the one.” Only problem is, he didn’t, and anybody who knows the names of both bartenders at the Regal Beagle also knows the events of the last few episodes of “Three’s Company” were total bullshit. Now this is nothing against Mary Cadorette, who played Vicky Bradford, the girl who stole Jack away from womankind, but horndog Tripper gave up his footloose and fancy-free lifestyle for this woman over the course of only three episodes?

Interestingly, this is actually one episode more than it took Janet (Joyce DeWitt) to get engaged in the same time period. It’s in this crissing and crossing that the whole thing falls apart, because the truth is Jack and Janet should have, after eight years of living together, finally admitted to one another how much they cared about each other and gotten together. That would’ve been right and proper and a fine end to the series (although a friend of mine asserts, “That would have been gross!”). So “Three’s Company” ended lamely, which in itself might not have been such a tragedy if not for the fact that the relationship spawned a completely unnecessary spin-off series, “Three’s a Crowd,” which chronicled the lives of Jack, Vicky, and Vicky’s father (the great Robert Mandan of “Soap”). The show only lasted a season, most likely because nobody cared about Jack and Vicky as a couple, or maybe just because Cadorette had no jiggle factor. See also “Joanie Loves Chachi.” – RR

15. Sock & Kristen, “Reaper”

For a show that survived a first-season cancellation by the slimmest of margins, you’d think that the dead last thing they would do in their second season premiere is introduce a subplot about incest. But the producers clearly thought that breakout star Tyler Labine could make anything funny, so poof, Bert “Sock” Wysocki suddenly has a smoking hot Japanese stepsister named Kristen (Eriko Tamura). Kristen adores Sock as the big brother that she always wanted, but Sock’s feelings for her are a little more complicated than that (which is really a nice way of saying they’re not remotely complicated – they’re just sick).

The scenes of them together were instant momentum killers, and at times even brought to mind the creepy Uncle Roy skits from “Saturday Night Live.” Worse, not content with the mere thought of sex between steps, Sock and Kristen ultimately did the deed, ewww. (Insert your own “Brady Bunch” joke here.) Kristen was gone by the next episode, but the damage had been done; “Reaper,” despite a killer finale – Sam loses Andi’s soul to the Devil in a game of quarters – was finished, undone by a subplot that not even Bad Idea Jeans would endorse. – David Medsker

“I can officially go on record now as saying that I was not happy with the storyline with me trying to fuck my stepsister. Believe me, you were one of many who was, like, ‘Sucks! Sucks! What’s going on? This storyline is bullshit!’ It just sort of ended up becoming exactly what they didn’t want it to become; they wanted it to be kind of charming and sweet. I’m, like, ‘How the fuck do you make a storyline about trying to sleep with your stepsister sweet?’ And they’re, like, ‘Oh, don’t worry, we will. You can do it.’ I’m, like, ‘I don’t know,’ and then I watched it, and I was just, ‘We have got to get rid of this storyline! This is not working!’ It felt like it was on a different show at times. And, you know, I had fun working with Eriko (Tamura), and I’m not saying anything was wrong with her. She was great, and she’s beautiful. I think the idea was that they thought they could push a character like Sock anywhere, just make him do anything, and people would still like it. And they were wrong.” – Tyler Labine, 6/9/2009

“Hot Tub Time Machine.”

Bar none the best movie title to come down the pike in years (and hot on its heels is the equally awesomely named “Kick-Ass”), and it had us thinking about what we consider to be the all-time best movie titles. But first, we had to set some ground rules. Porno titles were obviously out (too easy), as were movies named after plays, songs, books or lines of poetry (borrowed material). Bonus points were given to titles that were either startlingly direct or looked like unfinished Mad Libs, thus provoking a reaction along the lines of Lisa Simpson when she saw “Yahoo Serious Film Festival” on a marquee (“I know those words, but that sign makes no sense.”) Horror movie titles were so plentiful that they received their own list, though a few choice selections made the regular list. Lastly, we feel compelled to remind everyone that this list was made purely for fun, so legitimately good titles – “Alien,” “Fight Club,” “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” “Drag Me to Hell,” “Kill Bill” – were disqualified. Because really, how boring would that list be? Answer: very.

And so, without further delay, here’s our list. Discuss, debate and dissect amongst yourselves.

20. Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus (2009)
Because, you know, a simple battle between a shark and an octopus is on Discovery Channel twice a week. But a mega-shark and a giant octopus, that would be…well, craptacular, actually. And that is why we love the title; It’s eye-catching, but for all the wrong reasons. You want to give it credit for self-awareness – this is, after all, a movie that features a shark taking a plane out of the sky, thousands of feet off the ground – but perhaps that is giving the movie a bit too much credit. Still, there was a point where it was the most viewed trailer on the web, so the filmmakers clearly knew what they were doing when they came up with the title. Or maybe it was the irresistible allure of one Miss Deborah Gibson, one of the two.

19. The Brother From Another Planet (1984)
Using “brother” in this context was relegated solely to the exploitation genre until John Sayles wrote and directed this movie about a mute alien being chased by alien bounty hunters. It may seem harmless now, but it was downright ballsy at the time, even for an independent movie. And we totally have to learn the card trick done by the guy on the subway.

18. The Midnight Meat Train (2008)
Come on, who doesn’t want to ride that? Oh, right: everyone.

The thing is, this tale of a photographer who uncovers a subway serial killer is a pretty damn good movie. (And look at that cast: Bradley Cooper, Leslie Bibb, Roger Bart and Vinnie Jones, to name a few.) But that title was apparently too much for some to handle, to the point where after several release date changes, the movie finally surfaces in the dog days of August, making its first run…in second-run movie theaters. It goes down as another box office miss for Clive Barker, but this is easily the best Barker-related movie since “Candyman.” And you’d be hard pressed to come up with a more descriptive yet grossly unappealing title than that one.

17. Shoot ‘em Up (2007)
Sounds like an unholy straight-to-DVD Steven Seagal schlockfest, yes? (Though the preposition is in the wrong place, since Seagal’s movies usually begin with one.) Yes, and then you see Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti are the leads, and Nigel Tufnel’s line about the fine line between clever and stupid comes to mind. “Shoot ‘em Up” perfectly encapsulates what the movie is all about, while underselling it at the same time. “Leave your expectations at the door,” it says, so we did, and walked out grinning from ear to ear. And did we mention the lactating hooker?

16. Spanking the Monkey (1994)
Sexual Euphamism Movie Title #1. Hey, we’re dudes. Even though we like high-brow humor, we’re dudes.

Still, don’t let that title fool you. Yes, there is masturbation going on here, but this isn’t some “American Pie”-type sex comedy. It’s a disturbing black comedy where Jeremy Davies ends up having sex with his mother. Oh, that nutty David O. Russell. Only he could find the humor in incest.

15. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)
You’d be hard pressed to come up with a name as pre-packaged with stereotypes as Buffy. Girls named Buffy are rich, spoiled, not terribly bright, and most likely blonde. (It goes without saying that they’re also white.) What they’re not are vampire slayers, thus making a perfect title for a movie about the textbook definition of reluctant hero. While the TV adaptation clearly surpasses the theatrical release, we still have a soft spot for the movie, due in large part to Paul Reubens’ spectacular death scene.

14. Mars Needs Women (1967)
The movie itself may have been a stock footage fiasco – hey, what do you want, it was made for TV for the price of a ham sandwich – and they made a fatal mistake by taking the subject matter seriously, but that title will live forever, making a memorable cameo in the song “Pump the Volume” and inspiring a level to one of our favorite video games, “Zombies Ate My Neighbors.”

13. Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)
Had they simply named it “Death Bed,” people might mistake the movie for a stirring drama about someone who’s about to meet his maker. But since this movie is about a demonic bed that feeds on human flesh (you read that right), the filmmakers decided to add a little something extra to clear up the air. Not wasting too much thought on the matter, they went with “Death Bed: The Bed That Eats” – “The Bed That Eats” – and boom, a cult legend was born. Credit where credit is due: Patton Oswalt tipped us off to this one. The clips of the movie on YouTube are even funnier than we thought they’d be. Seriously, who plays poker on a bed? Dead people, apparently.

12. Frankenhooker (1990)
Granted, every word is funnier when combined with ‘hooker.’ See, watch: Robohooker. Cyberhooker. Psychohooker. Amish hooker. But nothing trumps “Frankenhooker” on the ‘funny prostitute’ scale. And admit it: you’d risk the itch for a shot at that, wouldn’t you? One woman assembled from several other women to form a, um, dream hooker? (And played by a former Penthouse Pet, no less.) Well, all right, maybe we wouldn’t actually risk the itch…but we’d think about it. Sex with a sex-crazed monster: hey, could be fun. Lord knows there are worse ways to die.

11. Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965)
Its title has inspired a metal band and a techno song (Brittany Murphy, R.I.P.), and Quentin Tarantino wants to remake it, though one could argue that he already has with “Death Proof.” But here’s our question: do people love the movie because it features a group of tough-as-nails strippers, or do they love it because it’s called “Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!”? Had it been named something else, something tamer, like “Stripper Girls on the Loose,” would it have the same cult status today? We doubt it, which is why this movie, more than any other, shows the importance of a great title.

10. Shaun of the Dead (2004)
By stealing the title from George Romero’s game-changing 1978 horror film, but changing that one word, “Shaun of the Dead” sets the tone perfectly. You know the source material (zombies), and the sense of humor (bone-dry). If you’re still unsure what to expect then, as comedian Jeff Marder once said, pull the plug, because you’re just taking up space.

9. Mother, Jugs & Speed (1976)
One is a black man named Tucker who drinks on the job and harasses nuns for fun. One is a disgraced cop who sold cocaine to school children. And one of them has big tits. We’ll let you figure out who’s who.

This movie about a rag tag group of ambulance drivers and EMT specialists also includes the potential rape of an unconscious college student and a junkie murder-suicide (Toni Basil!) …and it’s a comedy. A comedy called “Mother, Jugs & Speed.” At one point, Bill Cosby (yep, he’s Mother) gets a massage from a woman using a dildo. If you want to know why people are nostalgic for the ’70s, this movie sums it up in one word: swagger.

8. Vampiros Lesbos (1971)
It was so cute that the producers of the 2009 straight-to-DVD movie “Lesbian Vampire Killers” thought they were pushing something edgy . We’re guessing they didn’t know that a German film beat them to the punch by nearly 40 years. Exploring erotic horror at a time when the genre barely existed, this tale of an American lawyer lured to an island for business, only to discover that her client is, yep, a lesbian vampire, has a rabid cult following, as does its psycho-lounge soundtrack, which Quentin Tarantino lifted for use in “Jackie Brown.” There’s just something about the foreign translation of “lesbian vampire” that classes up the joint.

7. Slap Her…She’s French (2002)
Just about every ethnic group has someone representing them when it comes to matters of unfair portrayal in the media, cultural insensitivity, etc. But call someone a frog, and no one bats an eye. Those poor French are still getting kicked around like it’s 1965, and this title sums that up as well as anything. The conversation writes itself: “Did she do anything wrong, or hurtful?” “No, but she’s French, damn it. Do you need another reason to slap her?” Apparently, though, the TV censors did need another reason to slap her, because the movie runs on the tube under the nondescriptive name “She Gets What She Wants.” Blech.

As for the movie itself, yes, the title is the best thing about it, but this tale of a Texas alpha female whose life is turned upside-down by a foreign exchange student has its moments, notably when Starla (Jane McGregor) is dragged away from a confrontation with Genevieve (Piper Perabo), screaming, “I’m going to get you, Kermit! You’re going down!” Heh heh, Kermit. Frog jokes: the slur that will not die.

6. Boss Nigger (1975)
This should be disqualified on a technicality since blacksploitation movies by nature have humorous, ‘fuck you Hollywood’ titles. But “Boss Nigger” makes the cut because it would be lucky to see the light of day in today’s climate as a working title, never mind an official one. (See: “Cop Out,” which was known as “A Couple of Dicks” during production.) Indeed, when the movie was issued on DVD in 2008, it was simply titled “Boss,” and writer/producer/star Fred Williamson is surely having a laugh at the knee-jerk reaction the title elicits today, since that was the point all along.

5. Young People Fucking (2007)
Any questions?

4. Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000)
Talk about a movie casting itself. “It’s called ‘Dude, Where’s My Car?’ Go get Stifler and Kelso. No need to call anyone else.” In retrospect, the movie is like a beta test version of “The Hangover”; the two leads wake up with no memory of the previous night’s events, though the path of destruction they left in their wake soon comes back to haunt them. Only this one has twins…who don’t look remotely alike. The movie was admittedly dumb but not without its charms, and while it didn’t deserve a sequel, we were pushing for one anyway, since the only thing better than a movie called “Dude, Where’s My Car?” is a movie called “Seriously, Dude, Where’s My Car?”

3. Donkey Punch (2008)
Sexual Euphamism Movie Title #2 If you’re not familiar with the expression ‘donkey punch’…good for you. That means you’re a testament to clean living, and we could all learn from your example. Now, if you would like to know what it means, go here. But don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Pretty vile, isn’t it? To quote one of our favorite “Futurama” episodes, you’ve seen it, you can’t un-see it.

Truth be told, we still haven’t seen this UK horror import, but the filmmakers get our undying respect for having the nerve to not only write a movie around a fun night of sexcapades gone horribly wrong after a guy kills a girl while executing the move in question, but also naming their movie after it. The title is both perfectly clean and utterly depraved. That’s a pretty impressive trick, by any standard.

2. Snakes on a Plane (2006)
In an industry with an irrational love for vague, meaningless titles like “Edge of Darkness,” “Deception” and “The Happening,” the directness of “Snakes on a Plane” was nothing short of revelatory. It doesn’t get more ‘are you in or out?’ than that, and to think, the producers briefly toyed with the idea of changing the title to “Pacific Flight 121.” What the hell is that movie about? No idea, but “Snakes on a Plane” is about motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane, you dig?

Of course, as we all know, the end result did not meet the ridiculously high expectations of the movie’s rabid online following – well, it actually did meet their expectations; it just didn’t meet anyone else’s – and “Snakes,” despite a huge push from Entertainment Weekly and your friends at Bullz-Eye, barely managed to make its money back. The studio will probably say that the title failed them, but our finger is pointed squarely at New Line’s marketing department, who apparently thought the Internet would market the movie on their behalf and did nothing to increase the name recognition. Sorry, guys, but even movies with awesome titles need promotion, too.

1. Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984)
Bow down before your robo-popping, ceiling-dancing overlords, bitches.

Deciding to do a sequel is easy; naming it, not so much. (Ahem, “Alvin & the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel.”) ‘This’ becomes ‘That,’ singular becomes plural, and the words ‘Another,’ ‘Return’ and ‘Next’ are lazily inserted, along with the inevitable Roman numerals. Now look at what the producers of “Breakin’” did after their low-budget dance flick became a left-field hit and there was demand for a sequel: they used a predictable ’2,’ then followed it with “Electric Boogaloo.” Electric, fucking, boogaloo. The result of having balls of steel, or the last-minute inspiration that comes with a suitcase full of cocaine? Doesn’t matter, really; over time, the title has gone from ‘WTF’ laughingstock to holding a permanent place in the pop culture lexicon as the ultimate sequel title in movie history.

Great Titles: Horror Division
This list could literally go on for days, but there were a few that missed the main list that deserved a mention.

Motel Hell
Dead Alive
I Spit on Your Grave
Splatter Farm
Chopping Mall
Sssssss
I Dismember Mama
Terror Firma
Chopper Chicks in Zombietown
Sharks in Venice
Werewolves on Wheels
Vampires on Bikini Beach

Marquee Busters
Remember when there were guys responsible for changing the letters on the marquee outside the theaters? They hated these movies.

The Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader-Murdering Mom (Thankfully, this one was made for HBO.)
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension
Oh Dad, Poor Dad, Mama’s Hung You in the Closet and I’m Feeling So Bad
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?

First up, a list of our 20 favorite series inspired by movies. You’ll likely disagree with some of our choices, but…well, frankly, you always disagree with some of our choices, and we’ve learned to live with that.

1. The Odd Couple (ABC, 1970 – 1975): Yeah, we know it’s technically a TV series inspired by a play, but it never would’ve been made if the movie version hadn’t been a success first. Believe it or not, Tony Randall actually wanted Mickey Rooney to play the Oscar Madison to his Felix Unger, due to the success they’d had together when they played the roles together on Broadway, but the series’ executive producer, Garry Marshall, fought for Jack Klugman and won.

Nice one, Garry: the chemistry between Randall as the fastidious Felix and Klugman as the slovenly Oscar proved so strong that it’s now hard to imagine anyone else playing either role. They also each won Emmy awards for their performances: Klugman won twice – in ’71 and ’73 – and Randall won in ’75, observing in his speech how he wished he had a job. (The show had since been canceled!)

Looking back at “The Odd Couple,” you may notice that the first season of the series looks notably different from the four seasons that followed. That’s because the decision was made to switch from single-camera to multi-camera, thereby giving the cast the opportunity to perform the show in front of a studio audience…not unlike a play, appropriately enough. No matter what season you happen upon, however, it’s still a TV classic. Sometimes it’s because of the guest stars (Oscar’s career as a sportswriter led to many an athlete being worked into the proceedings), sometimes it’s because of the situations the guys find themselves in (I’m thinking in particular of when Oscar invited Felix to be his partner on an episode of “Password”), but no matter what the scenario, it’s Randall and Klugman who bring home the laughs…so much so that, when you mention “The Odd Couple,” you immediately think of those two guys over Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau. Now that’s what I call a successful movie-to-TV adaptation!

2. M*A*S*H (CBS, 1972 – 1983): In the grand scheme of TV shows made from feature films, surely there’s none more commercially and artistically successful than “M*A*S*H.” Based on the 1970 Robert Altman film of the same name (which in turn was based on the book by Richard Hooker), it was an unlikely candidate for a hit series, and yet that’s exactly what it ended up being. Both movie and TV show showcased the frustrations of the Vietnam War through the lens of a group of Army medics operating during the Korean War (or conflict, depending on to whom you talk). Even though the series’ highpoint was the first three seasons, which displayed a far more madcap, almost anarchic vibe, the TV-viewing public couldn’t get enough. The show, enduring numerous cast changes along the way, ran for a whopping 11 seasons, effectively lasting four times as long as the Korean War itself. The series finale in February of ‘83 was, until recently, the most watched TV event in U.S. history, but Super Bowl XLIV came along and smashed that record. – Ross Ruediger

3. Alice (CBS, 1976 – 1985): If ever there was an oddball movie on which to base a TV show, 1974’s “Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore,” directed by Martin Scorsese, was that movie. The relatively straightforward dramatic piece about a widowed mother of one struggling to make her way in the world was reimagined as a half-hour sitcom. By all counts, this series shouldn’t have made it past one season, and yet it lasted a mind-boggling nine years. Well, it’s really only mind-boggling to someone who hasn’t seen the show, because anyone who has, likely understands this sitcom’s place in TV history. Alice Hyatt (Linda Lavin), who in the series is divorced rather than widowed, travels across country with her son Tommy, seeking fame and fortune on L.A. as a singer, when her car breaks down in Phoenix. She’s forced to take a job at a local greasy spoon called Mel’s Diner owned by Mel Sharples (Vic Tayback, reprising his role from the film). There she finds friendship and zany antics amongst Mel’s employees and clientele. “Alice” was an ideal blue-collar premise for ‘70s TV viewers, particularly women, many of whom understood Alice all too well. The show also brought the catchphrase “Kiss my grits!” (thank you, Polly Holiday) to the table and its possible TV hasn’t recovered since. – Ross Ruediger

4. Logan’s Run (CBS, 1977 – 1978): It’s probably a little easier to buy into the idea of a “Logan’s Run” TV series when you realize that the author of the novel that inspired the film – William F. Nolan – actually wrote two sequel novels (“Logan’s World” and “Logan’s Search”) as well as a novelette (“Logan’s Return”), but as it happens, the series stands completely apart from Nolan’s written word. Starring Gregory Harrison as Logan, Heather Menzies as Jessica, and Donald Moffat as an android named REM, “Logan’s Run” sent its characters across post-apocalyptic America by hovercraft on a voyage to find Sanctuary. Given the era, the show was a relatively solid bit of sci-fi, thanks in no small part to having former “Star Trek” writer D.C. Fontana serving as the show’s story editor, but in a rather obnoxious move, Warner Brothers has released the complete series of “Logan’s Run” as iTunes downloads without making it available for purchase in a hard-copy form. Fingers crossed that the folks at Warner Archive will read this and take heed. Better to get a glorified DVD-R version that’s authorized and somewhat cleaned up than a crappy bootleg version.

5. The Paper Chase (CBS, 1978 – 1979 / Showtime, 1984 – 1986): James Bridges’ 1973 film version of John J. Osborn’s novel turned producer John Houseman, a film and theater legend but an unknown to the general public, into an Oscar-winning movie star at age 71. Later, Bridges, Osborn, and Houseman brought “The Paper Chase” to television with likable James Stephens starring as earnest law-student James Hart who, week by week, struggled with the enigmatic method and deep mind-games of the unapproachable Prof. Charles W. Kingsfield, Jr. The idea of a show about extremely intelligent young people learning how to think and reason at a high level was a novelty in 1978 — not that it’s commonplace today — and it was canceled after one season. However, such was the affection for the series that the show was successfully rerun on PBS. That led to a TV first: “The Paper Chase” went back into production in 1983 for premium cable’s Showtime with author Osborn’s involvement as well as most, but not all, of the initial cast. Not that anyone seemed to noticed: with Stephens and the charismatic, coldly witty Houseman on board, by the time Hart finally graduated, many viewers had no idea there had ever been a movie. – Bob Westal

6. Fast Times (CBS, 1986): Take this inclusion with a grain of salt, due to the fact that I haven’t actually seen an episode of the show in twenty-five years, but I can tell you without hesitation that the 16-year-old me thought “Fast Times” was totally awesome. Granted, should it ever find its way to DVD (which seems an unlikely scenario, given the ’80s music that it’s undoubtedly laced with), it’s highly possible that the 16-year-old me will turn out to have been a total spaz, but the names in the credits certainly help my credibility a bit: Amy Heckerling, who directed the original film, was one of the producers, and Cameron Crowe, who wrote the book on which the film was based, served as a creative consultant. Unfortunately, the only actors to reprise their roles were the teachers – Vincent Schiavelli was back as Mr. Vargas, and, yes, Ray Walston returned as the irascible Mr. Hand – but Courtney Thorne-Smith played Stacy, Patrick Dempsey played Damone, and Spicoli was played by Dean Cameron. Cameron and Thorne-Smith would soon re-team as part of the student body in the film “Summer School,” in no small part because “Fast Times” lasted for a mere seven episodes.

7. The Real Ghostbusters (Syndicated, 1986 – 1991): This list could’ve been filled to the brim with animated spin-offs of live action films, but there are only two that really stand out, and this is the first of them. Anyone who watched Messrs. Murray, Aykroyd, Ramis, and Hudson bustin’ ghosts on the silver screen could see the potential in an animated series, since it’d give the guys an opportunity to hunt bigger and better spooks without having to pay for all the special effects, but it was a pleasant surprise to find that the show hadn’t been dumbed down for kids. Oh, sure, we could’ve done with a little less Slimer, and we still think Peter Venkman sounds less like Bill Murray than Garfield the Cat, but with J. Michael Straczynski – who would later go on to create “Babylon 5″ – serving as the show’s story editor and writing 21 episodes during the course of the series, the proceedings were both intelligent and funny, with some downright awesome creature designs.

8. In the Heat of the Night (NBC, 1988 – 1992 / CBS, 1992 – 1995): It was always going to take a heck of a role for Carroll O’Connor to be able to be remembered as anyone other than the hilariously bigoted Archie Bunker on CBS’s “All in the Family,” but damned if he didn’t find one in Police Chief Bill Gillespie. The role was originated by Rod Steiger in the original 1967 film, directed by Norman Jewison, but O’Connor’s general physical resemblance to Steiger coupled with the fact that viewers were already used to seeing the actor play someone who was a bit on edge around African-Americans made him about as perfect a casting choice as anyone could’ve hoped for. The role of Virgil Tibbs…well, okay, his mama calls him Virgil, but you can call him MISTER Tibbs…was taken on by Howard Rollins, who’d received acclaim for his performances in “Ragtime” and “A Soldier’s Story.” (In a nice bit of serendipity, the latter film was was directed by – wait for it – Norman Jewison.) Impressively, the series managed to survive a network switch after its fifth season, continuing on for two more proper seasons which were further supplemented by four two-hour films which approximate an eight season, making for a solid second act to O’Connor’s television career and a decidedly successful movie-to-TV adaption.

9. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventures (CBS, 1990): Given the title of the show, it’s obvious that this animated series continues the adventures of Bill S. Preston, Esq. and “Ted” Theodore Logan, but insofar as its appearance on this list goes, we have to offer a very important caveat: we’re only counting the first season of the show. Why? Because, believe it or not, the first thirteen episodes actually featured voice work by the original cast of the “Bill and Ted” films: Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter, George Carlin, and Bernie Casey. Also, for you cartoon purists out there, the first season was a Hanna-Barbera production. Season two…? DIC. No, thanks. If you’ve already got the Bill and Ted’s Most Excellent Collection DVD set, then you’ve probably already discovered that the first episode of the first season is one of the bonus features, but for whatever reason, they’ve never bothered to release a proper Season 1 set. Given that it follows the feel of the films as closely as could be allowed on Saturday mornings, offering up episodes with titles like “A Most Excellent Roman Holiday,” “The More Heinous They Are, The Harder They Fall,” and “This ‘Babe Ruth’ BABE Is A DUDE, Dude,” there’s only one word to describe the delay: bogus.

10. Parenthood (NBC, 1990 – 1991): No matter what you may have thought of this short-lived series, it’d be unfair to leave it out of a feature which was inspired by NBC’s second attempt to transform Ron Howard’s 1989 film into a TV show. It didn’t have as high a famous-face count at the time it originally aired, time has certainly been good to the careers of several of its younger cast members, most notably Thora Birch (“American Beauty,” “Ghost World”), David Arquette standing in for Keanu Reeves, and, in place of Joaquin Phoenx, one L. DiCaprio. It’s also worth noting that the “Parenthood” writing staff included a gentleman by the name of Joss, who at the time was still two years away from the big bang of the Whedon-verse, i.e. the movie version of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” No matter how the show may have been, getting viewers to accept Ed Begley, Jr. and Ken Ober in place of Steve Martin and Rick Moranis was always going to be a tough sell. In the end, the first incarnation of “Parenthood” lasted only 12 episodes, but if this new version takes off, you can count on seeing a complete-series set available for purchase by Christmas 2010.

(In the meantime, however, the only way you can see any part of the series is to jump to the 5:07 mark in this clip and check out the opening-credit sequence.)

11. The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles (ABC, 1992 – 1993): Remember how “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” kicked off with that sequence where River Phoenix plays Indy as a battling boyscout of a teenager? Well, that got George Lucas to thinking, so he sat down and put together an elaborate timeline of Dr. Jones’s early life and times. Unlike his more recent prequels, however, “The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles” proved to be a pretty darned good idea, serving as both a collection of rousing adventure tales as well as an educational trip through early 20th century history and – thanks to Indy’s archaeological leanings – far earlier, too. It was also a clever idea to flip-flop between two different periods of Indy’s youth, but for whatever reason, the adventures of 10-year-old Indy (played by Corey Carrier) were soon phased out, leaving only Sean Patrick Flanery to play the part, portraying Mr. Jones at ages ranging from late teens to early twenties. Some were underwhelmed by “The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles,” feeling that they simply weren’t as exciting as the films, but time has been good to the series, and the DVD sets are positively phenomenal, having been fleshed out with a plethora of documentaries about the historical events covered within the various episodes. If “The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” didn’t do anything for you, consider revisiting these “Chronicles” to give them another try.

12. Highlander: The Series (Syndicated, 1992 – 1998): Given the cinematic travesty that was “Highlander II: The Quickening,” it’s nothing short of a miracle that the world was ever presented with a “Highlander” television series, but just under a year after the sub-par cinematic sequel, we were introduced to Duncan MacLeod (Adrian Paul). Born in 1592, Duncan became an Immortal in 1622. Three years later, he crossed paths with Connor MacLeod (that’d be Christopher Lambert’s character from the films), who became the lad’s mentor, a move which directly connected the series to the movie while also allowed it to take its own path. “Highlander: The Series” ultimately lasted for six seasons, spawning an animated series as well as a proper spin-off (“The Raven”) before ultimately coming full circle and returning to the big screen for “Highlander: Endgame,” which brought Duncan and Connor together once more.

13. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (The WB, 1997 – 2001 / UPN, 2001 – 2003): It happens all the time: a talented young writer sells a screenplay, only to see clueless producers and directors turn a unique vision into straight-up pablum. What never happens is for that screenwriter to get the chance to transform that pablum back into that original vision. Third-generation TV professional Joss Whedon did the impossible when he regained control of the super-heroic ex-cheerleader first featured in director Fran Rubel Kazui’s 1992′s mediocre comedy. Creating a new backdrop for his heroine in fictional Sunnydale, California, he crafted a genuinely exciting show in which action, fantasy, Marvel comics soap opera, feminist social commentary and witty/silly comedy blended to create one of the most thoroughly engaging and acclaimed shows in the history of the medium. With Sarah Michelle Gellar as the teenager burdened with having to repeatedly save the world and an outstanding supporting cast as her loving, inevitably imperfect, support system, “Buffy, the Vampire Slayer” charmed geeks of all ages, critics, academics, and just enough of a general audience to last for seven always entertaining, sometimes devastating, seasons. As for memories of the original movie, when Kazui recently resurfaced with talk of a franchise reboot, nobody was very pleased. – Bob Westal

(FYI, trying to find the actual opening credits to any given season of this series has been made virtually impossible by the show’s fans, who seemingly feel obliged to recreate them using their own favorite shots from the show or by using a different TV series’ credits as a template or changing the song or…well, anyway, suffice to say that this is the closest to an unblemished version that I could find.)

14. Stargate SG-1 (Showtime, 1997 – 2002 / Sci-Fi, 2002 – 2007) and its brethren: While the average viewer might look back on the 1994 film “Stargate” and think, “Wow, I never would’ve imagined they could’ve gotten ten seasons of a TV series out of this flick, let alone three additional series,” most sci-fi fans probably came within an inch of having their brains explode when they learned about the Stargate for the first time. Hello! It’s a wormhole that opens a gate which allows for transportation between galaxies! When you consider the number of different places that could be visited…hell, you could have a 24-hour network filled with nothing but “Stargate” series and still never run out of material. Obviously, “SG-1″ is the jewel of the franchise, but “Atlantis” has a lot of loyal fans, and if “Universe” has resulted in some seriously polarized opinions, give it time to build. As for the animated series, “Stargate Infinity”…well, it all depends on how far you’re willing to take your fandom, I reckon. There’s been talk for years about how Dean Devlin – co-creator of the original film, along with Roland Emmerich – wants to do two more “Stargate” motion pictures, thereby making it into a trilogy, but given that he wants to bypass all of the mythology created by the various TV series, I actually kind of hope the plan never comes to fruition. Talk about a slap in the face to the fans!

15. Clerks: The Animated Series (ABC, 2000): Given how we praised this show as being one of five animated series during the 2000s that deserved a longer run, it shouldn’t be any surprise that it ended up on this list. (Mind you, the same probably wouldn’t have be true if the awful live-action “Clerks” pilot had been picked up.) Kevin Smith obviously knew that any animated adventures of Dante, Randall, Jay, and Silent Bob on ABC were going to have to go a different direction than they’d gone in the art-house theaters in which “Clerks” had played, so he did: he skewered sitcom cliches, parodied films, gave Alec Baldwin the opportunity to play the villainous Leonardo Leonardo (there are several occasions where the voice you hear is clearly an embryonic version of what would eventually become Jack Donaghy), piled up a shitload of other guest voices, including Gwyneth Paltrow, Gilbert Gottfried, Al Franken, James Woods, Judge Reinhold, Michael McKean, Julia Sweeney, Kevin McDonald, and Charles Barkley, and basically just had fun with the expanded palate offered by an animated world. Of course, the fun only lasted for six episodes, and only two of those actually saw the light of day on ABC, but maybe someday Smith will make good on his assurances that he’s got an animated “Clerks” movie script in him.

16. Soul Food (Showtime, 2000 – 2004): This drama instantly earns a mention for being the longest running drama with a predominantly African-American cast in the history of North American television…and if you think we’re just randomly making this claim, think again: we got it straight from The Washington Post. Based on the 1997 film by George Tilman, Jr., which had been inspired by Tilman’s own experiences, the series followed the life and times of the Joseph family, picking five months after the events in the movie. Ironically, the only actor to reprise their role from the film was the character who died – Irma P. Hall turned up as Mama Joe in the occasional flashback – but the show’s ensemble was still a strong one: while earning precisely zilch in the way of Emmy love, the cast regularly racked up NAACP Image Award nominations, with Vanessa A. Williams and Debbi Morgan winning for Outstanding Actress and Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Dramatic Series, respectively. (The series itself took home the award for Outstanding Drama Series on more than one occasion.) Plus, it didn’t hurt that the series had a killer theme song, too, courtesy of the Reverend Al Green.

17. Friday Night Lights (NBC, 2006 – present): Although hardly the most popular concept ever to make the transition from film to television, “Friday Night Lights” must certainly be one of the best. Both film and series were shepherded by Peter Berg, and while the movie was all too often downright depressing, what with its focus on the pitfalls of high school football, the series is an uplifting piece of drama that opens up the concept to show many more sides of a complex tapestry of lives. You don’t have to like football to love this series, yet you do have to have an appreciation for damn good drama and strong characters, which, at its heart, is what “Friday Night Lights” is all about. A cast of mostly younger people is superbly led by Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton as Coach Eric Taylor and his wife Tami, who’ve moved to the small town of Dillon, Texas to make a new life. Along the way they find there’s more to life than football, and if you are a pigskin fanatic, watch this is you’ll discover much the same. – Ross Ruediger

18. Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (Fox, 2008 – 2009): While its execution was the source of fierce debate amongst its fan base, give the producers of “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” credit for using the first two “Terminator” movies less as a blueprint and more as a launching pad to create a new universe outside of the movie’s mythology. This was, of course, as much a matter of necessity as anything, since in the movie universe Judgment Day takes place in 2004 and Sarah had died of leukemia years earlier. Still, the show asked some large questions about fate (can we truly change it?) and faith (is it enough to simply believe in something?) that the movies tended to gloss over in favor of the next action set piece. Unfortunately, the show was too deliberate for its own good, constantly on the verge of launching a giant story arc but never actually doing it until they had been given their walking papers. But when the show was clicking – Catherine Weaver’s killing spree in the factory, for example – “Terminator” offered some genuinely thrilling action and, for a show about killer robots, a healthy dose of humanity. – David Medsker

19. Crash (Starz, 2008 – present): Kickstarting the Starz line-up of original series was this adaptation of the 2004 Academy Award winner for Best Picture…but, really, it’s less an adaptation than it is a series which plays off the general structure of the film. I mean, unless I missed them, there are no crossover characters between the two mediums. It’s strictly a case of telling the stories of a disparate collection of individuals throughout the Los Angeles area…not that there’s anything wrong with that. When you’ve got a cast that includes Dennis Hopper, Eric Roberts, Tom Sizemore, Tess Harper, Keith Carradine, Valerie Perrine, Julie Warner, Dana Ashbrook, Linda Park, and a host of others, all you really want to do is see them work and watch the drama unfold, which it does in a highly enthralling manner. The most important thing you should remember about “Crash” – and this should really go without saying, but we’re gonna say it, anyway – is that if you didn’t like the movie, you shouldn’t be surprised if you tune in and find that you don’t like the series, either.

20. 10 Things I Hate About You (ABC Family, 2009 – present): Although it’s one of the strongest teen comedies to come out of Hollywood in the post-John-Hughes era (possibly because, like Hughes’s work, it was more about heart than fart jokes), this didn’t seem to be the most likely candidate for a series treatment. Kudos to Carter Covington, then, for taking the concepts from the film and using them as a springboard into a new and expanded look at the students of Padua Hugh: Kat and Bianca Stratford, Patrick Verona, Cameron James, Chastity Church, and so on down the line. And the best bit…? Larry Miller is back at Kat and Bianca’s dad. ABC Family has put out lots of solid, enjoyable programming for teens over the course of the past few years, but like the movie which inspired it, “10 Things I Hate About You” is good fun for the whole family.

Great stuff, right…? Yeah, but there’s always the flip side of the coin to consider, too, so before wrapping up, we’d be remiss if we didn’t also cite a few series that didn’t live up to their original source material:

1. Shaft (CBS, 1973 – 1974): There are a couple of reasons why “Shaft” never had much of a chance as a TV series. First of all, even though Richard Roundtree reprised his role as the black private dick who’s a sex machine to all the chicks, the kind of things that Shaft was able to investigate on the silver screen don’t necessarily lend themselves to broadcast television sensibilities. Nor, for that matter, did Shaft himself: the first thing CBS did was switch things up so that he was working with the police. Now that just ain’t nothin’ but jive.

What’s arguably the funniest thing about the series, however, was that it was part of “The New CBS Tuesday Night Movies,” alternating with a show called “Hawkins” which starred…Jimmy Stewart? God love the man, but can you imagine a “Shaft” fan tuning in to see their show, only to find an old white guy instead? No wonder it couldn’t capture consistent ratings.

Unfortunately, there’s not even so much as a clip of the series on YouTube (unless you count the CBS promo for the 1973 fall season, which features a lone shot of Shaft strolling down the street, looking far more bad-ass than he was ever actually allowed to act in the series), but you can at least hear a promo for the show.

2. Ferris Bueller (NBC, 1990 – 1991): Who would’ve expected that a show which was pegged as a “Ferris Bueller” rip-off (“Parker Lewis Can’t Lose”) would actually turn out to be funnier than the actual attempt to turn the film into a series? The “Ferris Bueller” series kicked off with the surreal suggestion that this Ferris was the real Ferris, and that Matthew Broderick was only playing him in the film. The problem: Charlie Schlatter was no Matthew Broderick. On the other hand, the actress who took over Jennifer Grey’s part as Ferris’s sister went on to bigger and better things, but we rather suspect that Jennifer Aniston hasn’t listed “Ferris” on her resume in quite some time. (No, seriously, we’re pretty sure even “Leprechaun” had a longer run on her CV than this show did.)

3. Weird Science (USA, 1994 – 1998): One bad John Hughes adaptation deserves another, and this one easily qualifies. Maybe it’s because Hughes was so damned good at picking the perfect actors for his parts that it seems to have been nigh on impossible to turn his films into decent TV series, or maybe it’s because most any attempt to reproduce his writing style generally comes off either unabashedly derivative or woefully unfunny. With “Weird Science,” it was all of the above, but that didn’t stop it from lasting for…are we sure this is accurate?…five seasons. Give the series credit for having a lot of interesting ideas, but despite Vanessa Angel managing to produce levels of hotness not terribly far removed from Kelly LeBrock, the execution never came anywhere close to matching the humor or heart of Hughes’s film.

4. Clueless (ABC, 1996 – 1997 / Syndicated 1997 – 1999): I feel obliged to mention that, when it comes to the movie version of “Clueless,” it’s one of those flicks that invariably keeps me glued to the TV set whenever I happen upon it while channel-surfing, which means that I was predisposed to like the series it spawned. Making it part of ABC’s TGIF line-up would’ve been enough in and of itself to keep me from watching it on a regular basis, but as Cher, Rachel Blanchard didn’t have a third of the chemistry that Alicia Silverstone brought to the role. In fairness, however, we should note that Blanchard went on to far hipper roles…like, for instance, Sally on HBO’s “Flight of the Conchords.” Better she should be remembered as the inspiration for “The Most Beautiful Girl in the Room” than for her work on this show.

5. My Big Fat Greek Wedding (CBS, 2003): When “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” proved to be the huge sleeper hit of 2002, ultimately bringing in over $240 million at the box office, no one could’ve been any more surprised than the film’s star and screenwriter, Nia Vardalos. Still, she had the savvy to quickly parlay its success into a deal to continue the story of Toula Portokalos Miller as a weekly sitcom. Given that the movie’s humor barely rose above those levels, anyway, this made perfect sense. Unfortunately, where the film had charm to spare, the TV series was an absolutely painful viewing experience, inspiring cringing rather than laughing. As of this writing, the top comment on this YouTube clip reads, “Jesus Christ! 47 seconds into it and it’s horrible!” Really? That’s funny: we had it pegged at the 30-second mark.