Product Review: Edge Body Renew Face & Body Shave Cream

Imagine how hard it would be to shave with one eye.

I had never thought of this before, until I was at the grocery store this weekend, trying to procure some Spaghetti Os in the pasta aisle.

So there I was, weighing the pros and cons of the Mini Ravioli versus the standard, old school Spaghetti Os. Caloric intake was a dead heat, as was cost.

Then, out of nowhere, I heard a gruff voice say, “Get the ravioli, trust me.” I turned around to see where the voice had come from, and before me stood a short, scruffy old man wearing an eyepatch. It sort of caught me off guard, his voice more than the eyepatch, and all I could think to say was, “Why?”

“Because, spaghetti is really hard to maintain enough to eat when you only have one eye.”

“But I have two eyes, does that really apply?”

“Nobody likes a braggart, son.”

Then I noticed the side of his face that contained the blind eye (i.e. the “blind side” if you will) was almost completely unshaven, while the other side, the seeing eye side, was crisply maintained. Applying this logic, the situation became obvious — he couldn’t shave that side because he lacked the depth perception.

My theory was confirmed a moment later when he picked up a can of Beefaroni and held it up to the sky, attempting to read the nutritional value (isn’t that an oxymoron?) but couldn’t, because he was evidently farsighted as well, in his single, gleaming, pearl of an eye.

I tried not to stare, but the eyepatch was so badass that I couldn’t help myself. It reminded me of that “Seinfeld” episode where Kramer wore an eyepatch for purely aesthetic purposes.

“A little help here son, how many calories from fat are in this?”

“220, matey. Uh, I mean sir.”

He put the Beefaroni in his hand cart and suddenly said, “Do you have any idea how hard it is to shave with one eye?” Which was weird because we were still in the Beefaroni aisle.

“No, I don’t. I assume it would be difficult. How do you do it?”

“Slowly, to be sure,” he said. “But I also use this badass shit that you should try out. I helped you out with the Mini Ravioli, let me help you with this.”

I didn’t have anywhere to be, so I followed him to another aisle. Plus, it felt cool to be associated with a guy wearing an eyepatch in public.

We got to the aisle that contained men’s shaving products. He quickly grabbed and then proffered a tube of shaving cream towards me.

“It’s shaving cream, boy-o. When ye balls drop, you’ll need it. Ha ha ha, just kidding.”

I looked down and it was a tube of Edge Body Renew Face & Body Cream.

“It’s also non-foaming, which is important for me so I can see where I’m shaving. Wouldn’t want to nip my nose and have a prosthetic one of those as well!

“What’s so great about this particular shaving cream?” I asked.

“Well, it offers advanced skin protection and hydration for a close, comfortable shave. This non-foaming, moisture-enriched formula with antioxidants and vitamins, helps renew skin’s natural moisture and keep skin feeling smooth and comfortable long after the shave. And, it’s less than $5, which is essentially two cans of Beefaroni.”

It had never occurred to me to use Beefaroni as the new standard in currency. But once it did, I loved it.

“How many cans of Beefaroni is this worth?” I asked, as I collected a nearby can of Edge Clean & Refreshing Shave Gel.

“About three,” he said.

“How about this four-pound brisket?”

“About 11.”

“And this bottle of Canadian Club whiskey?”

“Eight, and worth every damn noodle, to be sure.”

My mind was blown. I thanked the man for his time, insight and general wherewithal, collected a tube of Edge Body Renew Face & Body Shave Cream and proceeded to check out.

As I sit here, my skin feels awesome, thanks to the clean shave and smooth moves of the Edge Body Renew Face & Body Shave Cream. I wouldn’t lie to you.

For more information, click here.


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Product Review: Bluebeards Revenge Shavette

The Bluebeards Revenge

Going retro is cool and the straight razor is no different. Thanks to the most recent movie installment in the James Bond series, “Skyfall,” straight razors are popular again.

Online UK retailer The Shaving Shack saw a 123% increase in web traffic since the film was released in the UK. Traffic from Internet searches for “cut throat razor” and “straight razor” soared by a staggering 735% over the five days after the film was released.

What I really liked about this razor was the weight. Having never used a straight razor/shavette (the difference being with a shavette you can replace the blades), I had always seen them as being rather bulky and hard to control.

The other important factor was the way the weight was balanced from one end of the razor to the other. Initially, I had my reservations about the plastic handle, thinking it would affect the quality of my shave somehow, but it didn’t. The head of the blade was solid and just heavy enough to not have to apply too much pressure to my face when dragging the razor across my skin. It also wasn’t so large that it was hard to control, coming in at 24 cm fully open.

There really is no better feeling than a shave from a straight razor. When I was younger, my favorite part of getting a haircut was the straight razor across the bottom of my neck to eliminate any neck hairs, but the state where I live made them illegal due to health concerns. I would seriously sign a waiver to get that feeling after a cut these days. But what’s even better than that is buying my own and doing it myself.

That was another issue I faced: price. My assumption was that any straight razor would have to be expensive to be effective as most luxury razors retail for anything from $60 to $300. But at just $9.99, the Bluebeards Revenge Cutthroat Shavette/Straight Razor disproved my assumption. You could spend more, but why? You certainly don’t need to.

Another thing worth noting is that switching the blades was a snap… literally. It was easy to open the head of the razor and insert a new one. There really is no reason to not add a straight razor to your shaving repertoire.

The Cutthroat Shavette from Bluebeards Revenge is available here and is a steal at just $9.99.


Product Review: D&Y Spring/Summer 2013 Hats for Men


There is nothing more polarizing on earth than a Fedora hat. You could wear a sign that proclaimed your stance on the death penalty, abortion and the afterlife all at once and you still wouldn’t be judged as harshly.

For every piece of positive feedback I received, I garnered five negative comments. It reminded me of the usual treatment I receive at the hands of my fully developed, blonde soul patch that I rock unabashedly in general, but in this particular instance, concurrently with the Fedora hat — double trouble, baby.

Why does the Fedora generate such angst? Because it’s an affront to weak dudes. And weak dudes are currently perpetuating their gutless shtick at record levels, passing themselves off as “real dudes” to chicks who are desperate for the genuine article but are forced to settle for a POS facsimile; like buying movies from the bootleg DVD guy in your neighborhood rather than spending a little more time and money to purchase the real deal. Do perceived needs motivate your actions? You’re already missing the point.

But what’s cool about the Fedora from D&Y is how it makes you feel. And how you feel on the inside has a large hand in generating the situations you attract on the outside.

To game test my Fedora, I took it with me while I covered this BMX session in Orlando, Florida. If any place on earth was going to be appreciative of the Fedora, the last bastion had to be by the pool at the Universal Studios hotel in Orlando. And it was, by two smoking hot babes who happened to be lounging nearby.

Both ladies were quick to complement not only the hat, but the man wearing it. They said the hat “spoke to them,” and that any guy who had the balls to wear it, and effectively pull it off, was a guy they wanted to be around. A guy they wouldn’t regret sleeping with. In short, a fucking man.

So what if a couple farmers from Dubuque, IA didn’t think much of my Fedora; I thought their Dekalb logo-emblazoned t-shirts were as preposterous as the way they interspersed the word “ain’t” throughout their cheap, low-level casual conversation.

If you want to look like a garden variety dumbass with nothing to offer the world, particularly the fairer sex, the new line of hats from D&Y isn’t for you. But if you’re a man who looks good,\ because he takes the time to look good, cares about his appearance, and has the intellectual wit to match the exterior, a hat from D&Y is the perfect accessory for a well-maintained, coordinated wardrobe.

You may have to wade through some negativity, but it’s only because you look good and that makes weak dudes nervous. And they should be.

Check out the full line of D&Y Spring/Summer 2013 hats for men here.


Product Review: Schick Xtreme 3 Fitstyle Refresh

If Michael Jackson were to write a song about this razor, it would be called “Bad.” If this razor were a woman, it would be Roseanne Barr. If this razor were a space shuttle, it would be the Challenger. If this razor were a car, it would be a Ford Festiva. If this razor were a Band-Aid, it would be the kind that doesn’t have enough adhesive to stick.

The Xtreme3 is loaded with three blades as the name would suggest. It’s called the Fitstyle Refresh because it has a strip below the razor with both a mysterious “pre-shave oil” and Vitamin E, meant to coat your skin as you glide along the rest of your face. Though marketed as having a “new refreshing scented handle for an invigorating shave,” I didn’t find that to be the case.

While I was shaving with it, I didn’t notice any additional scent, so I placed it directly under my nose to take a whiff and still couldn’t detect a scent other than a plastic handle. I smelled all four razors in the package and none of them smelled like anything.

According to the packaging the razor came in, the Fitstyle Refresh is the “#1 flexible blade disposable razor.” But I wouldn’t agree it all; I don’t even think it’s the #1 disposable razor in its own family, sort of like Emilio Estevez. There is no way it is better than the Schick Xtreme3 (Martin Sheen) or the Schick Hydro 5 Power Select (Charlie Sheen).

Compared to several of Schick’s other offerings, I wasn’t very impressed with the Xtreme3 Fitstyle Refresh. I found it to be incredibly stiff, like Newt Gingrich at a Wham reunion concert, because it didn’t move with the contours of my face at all. I know it’s a disposable razor, but there was no weight to it whatsoever, which I think was a problem in terms of effectiveness.

Several times during the shave, I had to re-shave an area more than once, particularly the area where my mustache would be if I could grow one. Which is pretty bad, because if you can grow a mustache, plan on shaving that area about five times. And getting way more chicks than me; congrats. Somehow, it took more skin off of my face than hair.

I was extremely disappointed with the lack of effectiveness exhibited by the Fitstyle Refresh. Ff you want a good disposable razor from Schick, check out the Schick Xtreme3 or the Schick Hydro 5 Power Select instead.


Super Bowl commercial teaser: Live Más and Viva Young with Taco Bell

The Super Bowl commercial blitz is officially underway with the unveiling of a 60-second online teaser video from Taco Bell, found above. This minute-long production is a preview of the company’s new Super Bowl commercial, a LIVE MÁS® brand commercial called “Viva Young,” set to debut during the third quarter of the game February 3 on CBS. The full commercial, which will show that anyone at any age can “live más,” will be set to the music of Taco Bell Feed the Beat® artist and six-time GRAMMY® Award nominee fun.’s “We Are Young,” which will be sung in Spanish.

Check out the teaser above and be sure to keep your eyes open during the third quarter of the big game next week!


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