Product Review: Brut Black Ice and Blue Wave Deodorant

brut-Mens-Deodorant

Et tu, Brute?”

Who among us hasn’t been “betrayed” by our deodorant? Do we hold it accountable, or do we just live with it and blame ourselves?

In their quest for the perfect men’s deodorant, Brut really cranked the weirdness meter up to 11, as evidenced by the groundbreaking technique shown below:

Brut-Deodorant

The result? The most superior men’s deodorants ever created, embodied in two separate scents: Black Ice and Blue Wave.

I tried both and found them to be distinctly different. While both scents are subtle to your nostrils, Black Ice is a stronger scent, a little more forceful.

Blue Wave was barely even detectable, but it provided a crisp, fresh scent that lived up to the name Blue Wave, which made me think of the chick-centric surfing movie, Blue Crush.

Blue Wave is like Kate Bosworth’s character, Anne Marie. Free flowing and effective, but unsure about pursuing her dream of becoming a professional surfer over a pending relationship with NFL quarterback Matt Tollman in town for the Pro Bowl in Hawaii during the offseason.

Black Ice is the hardcore Eden, played by uber-babe Michelle Rodriguez. It’s rugged, rough and uncompromising, but still super hot and appealing in a completely different way.

What’s significant about the new offerings from Brut? For the first time in nearly a decade, the classic men’s grooming brand has introduced these two new crisp, clean and masculine scents, offering a modern take on a timeless tradition.

Skewered by friends and other players wives for receiving the “Matt Tollman Makeover,” Anne Marie relents on her quest to slay him for her own, the way we at times are overpowered by dominating body odor. Aside from the smell, both deodorants are designed to fight back against and prevent wetness for 24 hours at a time thanks to the special Trimax Triple Action Formula.

As far as makeovers go, Brut has also undergone one. The entire men’s grooming line, from cologne to aftershave balm, has also received a new look for 2014, with a sports-inspired logo that “reflects the key attributes of the BRUT man: strong, confident and powerful.”

When I see those three words strung together, I immediately visualize legendary all-male crooner Tom Jones, purveyor of a Monster Hammer.

Back then, his musk was surely enough to sway many a babe to partake in the endless waves of his sensual delights. Note how smoothly and coyly he gets kisses from two sisters sitting in the front row.

Look at this one; he doesn’t even ask, but demands a kiss and gets one.

But in 2014, it’s a different ball of wax. If you want to hang ten with a discerning babe and receive kisses on demand, some men’s grooming is necessary. And at the bare minimum, you don’t want to be emitting a strong odor of B.O.

To be a man like Tom Jones, the 2014 version, lather your pits in the new deodorant from Brut, which costs just around $3 each.

For more information, check out the Brut website here. You can also give Brut a shout-out via social media by using the hashtag #LetYourManOut.

  

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Product Review: Vaseline Men Spray Lotion

The new Vaseline Men Spray Lotion came to me in a time of need. My skin was drier than the driest Norm McDonald joke. So dry, in fact, that had my friends known, my new name would’ve been “Ashley” rather than Paul because I was so ashy.

Sure, the combination of Vaseline with a spray-on lotion lends itself perfectly to a masturbation joke. But guys, I’m not going to tug your chain — this stuff works.

Vaseline Men Spray Lotion is available in two formulas: Fast Absorbing and Fast Cooling.

Spray-on lotion may sound like a gimmick, but it’s actually really useful for certain troublesome areas. For me, one such area is the top middle of my back.

I’ve gotten used to glopping an excessive amount of lotion on my hand and sort of waywardly slapping it back there, usually with mixed results.

But the continuous “spray-ability” of Vaseline Men Spray Lotion allowed me to zero in on an area I couldn’t have otherwise reached. No, not that area, sir. I can reach there just fine, thank you.

The continuous spray feature, which is akin (or should I say “a skin” #ZING) in functionality to Old Spice Refresh Body Spray, means that not only are areas covered, but they are covered evenly.

Vaseline Men Spray Lotion absorbed into my skin faster than any lotion I have ever used. And there wasn’t a slimy residue that made my clothes stick to the area I covered; at least not from the spray lotion, anyway.

Also, there was no perfume-laden aroma or scent to assault your nostrils. There was a hint of something, a certain “Je ne sais quoi,” but it was masculine and invigorating. It certainly didn’t smell like Vaseline. Or, sex covered in Vaseline.

Speaking of sex, Vaseline Men Spray Lotion came to be thanks to the union of three special elements:

1) The container that Vaseline Men Spray Lotion comes in has this cool thing called a “twist-lock actuator” that essentially allows the spray apparatus to either be engaged or disengaged to prevent spills.

2) The internal structure of the container utilizes “bag-on-valve technology.” #ThatsHOT

3) Vaseline Men Spray Lotion uses the perfect balance of “humectants” and “occlusives” to make sure the lotion isn’t sticky and effectively moisturizes.

So, leave your Brand X cocoa butter from Wal-Mart on the shelf and keep the safety engaged on your “spray apparatus.”

For more information on the new Vaseline Men Spray Lotion, follow this link to the website. Or you can always #SprayItForward via the Vaseline Facebook page or Vaseline Twitter account.

  

Product Review: WallMonkeys Custom Wall Decals

Paul-Eide-WallMonkeys

What is WallMonkey? A WallMonkey is a wall graphic created from an image and converted into a decal of variable sizes that are removable and reusable; think Fathead, but a higher quality material with any unlicensed image you select.

WallMonkeys started in 2008, and its primary purpose was to print wall graphics of kids playing sports for parents.

Thanks to the custom wall decal portion of my brain being dominated by the marketing team at Fathead, the first WallMonkey I requested was one of former Chicago Bears stud linebacker Brian Urlacher.

Due to copyright issues, this couldn’t be completed, but I’m thankful it did not, because what I got was better and vastly superior to an image of any athlete.

I thought, “What is the most ridiculous and obnoxious thing I could have blown up to cover the walls of my house?”

My mind immediately sprung to Austin Powers and his epic line from the movie, “Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery”: Please allow myself, to introduce….myself.”

What’s better than going to my house and seeing the real Paul Eide? Seeing a 48-inch WallMonkey of Paul Eide, while you’re engaged in a conversation with Paul Eide.

The hardest part was choosing an image of myself, to be viewed and enjoyed by myself.

Read the rest of this entry »

  

adidas reveals Brazuca match ball for World Cup 2014

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With World Cup 2014 only six months away, and the official draw taking place tomorrow to see which countries will face off against each other in the group stages, adidas has revealed the official match ball for the tournament, and it’s a beauty. The company sent us our own Brazuca (an informal local term that means “Brazilian”) to test out this week, and we have a good feeling that, unlike World Cup 2010’s much-criticized Jabulani ball, players are going to really love playing with this one.

The Brazuca is a breakthrough innovation featuring a revolutionary six-panel design and a unique surface that provides improved grip, touch sensibility and aerodynamics. It’s got just enough stickiness from the goose bump texture without being a hindrance to flair players, and it’s not nearly as unpredictable in the air as the Jabulani, which should be music to goalkeepers’ ears. The colors and ribbon design on the ball panels symbolize the traditional multicolored wish bracelets worn in Brazil, and also reflect the vibrancy and fun associated with soccer in the country.

Quite amazingly, the Brazuca has gone through two and half years of testing involving more than 600 of the world’s top players – including Lionel Messi, Iker Casillas, Bastian Schweinsteiger and Zinedine Zidane – as well as 30 teams in 10 countries across three continents, making it the most tested ball ever by adidas. And that attention to detail really shows in the final product, hopefully resulting in a World Cup remembered more for the incredible moments than the Brazuca itself. After all, that’s the true test of a great match ball.

For more on the Brazuca, check out the video below to see the ball in action, head over to adidas.com to buy your own, and be sure to follow @adidassoccer and @brazuca for other news leading up to next year’s World Cup.

  

Product Review: Schick Hydro 5 Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag Holiday Gift Pack

schick-hydro-assassins-creed

If you were an assassin, who’s the first person you would kill? If you said notable pirates in 1715, Schick and “Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag” have your back.

For its latest product offering, Schick has teamed up with “Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag” to produce the stealthiest men’s shaving gift pack ever created. It’s so stealthy that if you acquire it while playing Secret Santa, you will have no idea who gave it to you.

The Schick Hydro 5 Holiday Gift Pack contains the following components: one Schick Hydro 5 Razor, one Schick Hydro canister of Sensitive Shave Gel, one Schick Hydro 5 Travel Cap, three Schick Hydro 5 Razor Cartridges, and one code for unlockable content in “Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag.”

There are several little things that make this gift pack completely #Badass. And as we learned from British rock band Bush, it’s the little things that kill, or in this case, get you that close shave you’ve been pining for, yearning for, and in some cases, burning for.

Little Thing #1 – The Travel Cap 

Razor storage is tricky, just like life as a man. Throwing a blade into your favorite shaving bag between uses doesn’t seem optimal, especially if you’re traveling. Or, if you’re living an on-the-go lifestyle and need a quick “Spartan Shave” (a shave sans shaving cream) because you spent the night in a strange place and have a big presentation first thing in the morning with a huge financial investment firm and no time to shave properly. Schick cocked backed its head and said, “Ah, hell nah, son” when it created the Travel Cap that comes standard in the Assassin’s Creed Holiday Gift Pack.

Little Thing# 2 – Hydrating Gel Reservoir

We hear all the time about lubricating strips that function similarly to a post-shave balm to eliminate razor burn or irritation. But how frequently do they live up to the hype? To quote Ice Cube on “When Will They Shoot?,” ”Don’t believe the hype was said in ’88 by the great Chuck D/now they tryin’ tah f*** me.” The hydrating gel from Schick was so abundant that mid-shave I realized I wouldn’t need any post-shave balm. And I didn’t. The end.

Little Thing #3 – FlipTrimmer

Think of the FlipTrimmer as the Optimus Prime component of the new Schick Hydro 5. Or, if you prefer an “Assassin’s Creed” reference, it’s similar to the way mild-mannered bartender Desmond Miles covers his true identity as the latest offspring in a long lineage of assassins who rely on their Animus to kill foes swiftly and efficiently.

The reservoir tip flips back the way Optimus’ head flipped forward when he transformed from semi-truck to the Autobots alpha male to battle the evil Decepticons, which is similar to the way Desmond Miles uses the Animus to access hitherto inaccessible assassin skills. The FlipTrimmer transforms to a straight edge that allows you to precisely trim troublesome areas like sideburns and nostrils with ease.  

Little Thing #4 – Coupons

As I’ve aged, I’ve come to understand why the crux of an elderly person’s life is coupon clipping; it shaves you money. The Schick Hydro 5 Holiday Gift Pack contains $12 in coupons for various grooming items. I love you grandma. And, it also contains one code for unlockable content in “Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag.”

The Schick Hydro 5 Assassin’s Creed Gift pack is available ONLY at Target for just $9.99. Follow this link to order your gift pack.

To post witty comments on the Schick Hydro Facebook page and Twitter feed, follow the links.

And because we love our readers so much, we’re also giving away a copy of “Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag” for the PlayStation 3. Click here to enter for your chance to win!

 

  

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