Life Partners: How to Tell When You’ve Found the Right Girl


After years of dating the wrong girls, a man comes upon a time when he believes he’s found the right one. However, without a crystal ball, how can you really tell if a particular girl is the right one for you? You can’t be completely positive how the future will unfold, but you can ask a few questions and get a feel for your long-term compatibility. Is she a true life partner, or just another memory waiting to happen?


Some feel uncomfortable discussing the topic, yet money is associated to a lot of things couples do, including planning a marriage, buying a home and saving for their kid’s college tuition. Therefore, to get a sense of whether you’re on the same page, ask her what she would do with $200,000. It’s a high enough amount to warrant an interesting answer, but low enough to keep it practical. If she decides to blow it all on a weekend in Vegas or a walk-in closet full of shoes, you will have a different feeling than if she would use it to save for a house and make low-risk investments.


Most have to work for a living, but some couples decide that one income is enough and leaves opportunity for the other spouse to take care of the house, do chores and take care of kids. Ask her about her dream job. Some women are ambitious and dream of being an entrepreneur or high-powered attorney, while others want to stay at home and be a mom. There is no wrong answer; however, her unique reply will provide you with a better sense of whether she is right for you and if you want to head to The Sapphire Ring Company.


Kids are raised differently. Some have parents that are strict, while others grow up with parents who are relaxed. Ask her what she would do if your kids were caught stealing, suspended from school, or arrested for driving drunk. Of course, these are all scenarios that hopefully won’t happen, but it will provide you with a sense of how she feels about discipline and eventually addressing your unborn children.


Some couples are old fashioned, yet the world progresses, along with current-day relationships. Does she offer to treat you to dinner or surprise you with presents on occasion? Ultimately, you may feel most comfortable paying for dates, vacations and the next cup of coffee, yet be mindful of girls who won’t (in the very least) offer to buy. Relationships require reciprocity, and a girl that expects things from you all the time is not viewing things through an equal lens.


You met her in yoga class, and part of the initial attraction was that she enjoyed staying in shape and being healthy. However, was that a fad or a part of her lifestyle? Some men are disappointed to find that a number of habits change or revert back to reflect their lady’s true lifestyle. Of course, people grow and change throughout life, yet many tendencies and temperaments remain consistent. If you like that she’s active, bookish, a homebody, etc., be sure that you’re witnessing elements of her lifestyle and not a passing fad, or intimations of what she thinks will attract you.

Brooke Doherty is a relationship and marriage therapist. She enjoys sharing tips and insights on finding love and keeping the spark burning through her writing for blogs and social media postings.