There’s always been a little bit of a divide between what’s genuinely manly and what’s perceived as manly. It might have all started with The Man Show, which glorified the simple and dirty joys of manhood. But in the years since, there have been so many shows, websites and other forms of entertainment preaching (or at least implying) what it means to be manly that some bizarre ideas have had time to develop.
Just for fun, these five traits and practices often ascribed to manly men stand out as myths.
1. Restoring Classic Cars Makes You Manly
Does it really? I noticed this hobby listed in an Art Of Manliness post describing “45 hobbies for men,” suggesting “if you have an itch to become a grease monkey, you can always take up classic car restoration as a hobby.” The idea, presented there, is that modern cars are a little more sophisticated and less prone to issues that you can just tune up in your own garage. Because of this, the idea of a handy man bent over his own hood with grease up to his elbows has disappeared. But doesn’t that mean that if you go so far as to collect classic cars to restore them that you’re going out of your way to pursue inconvenience? Don’t get me wrong. If you genuinely have a love of classic cars, have at it. But if you’re doing it as an art of manliness, just stop—you look absurd.
2. Shaving With A Straight Razor Is Sophisticated
Do you wear a pocket watch, also? OK, that’s not quite the same thing. A straight razor is perfectly functional, and there are many who will argue that it provides a closer, better shave. Furthermore, there’s certainly an aspect of enjoyment to be had whenever you do anything old school. Not to mention when Moneypenny shaved James Bond in Skyfall the method probably got a worldwide popularity boost. Just for the love of God, don’t go talking about your preference for a straight razor. Your own personal preference is not definitively more sophisticated than the safer, easier, and quicker alternative.
3. Champagne Rooms & Bottle Service Are For Classy Guys
This is a different vein of so-called manliness, more for the crowds who learned guy code from Entourage than greasy elbowed or straight razor types. And sure, there’s a certain sophistication you can feel in the moment if you have your own private corner of a club. But you know what? These rooms and services are essentially gimmicks, designed as much to make the surrounding venues look classy as to benefit you. There’s also a sort of prop element to these rooms, as evidenced by how they’re used in films and TV, and even, these days, in gaming. That becomes clear in Gala Bingo’s VIP offerings, which even include a digital champagne room. The room’s open only on select nights and offers free bingo once you’re in, so it simulates the concept of these rooms in real life—and it’s probably a nice attraction for online players. But this also emphasizes that champagne rooms and bottle service in real life are more like attractions than the classy pedestals of manly class some seem to look at them as.
4. Cigar Smoking Is A Manly Celebration
Even though it feels slightly old fashioned, it’s not an usual a sight these days to see a cluster of men smoking cigars to celebrate or commemorate an occasion. A few friends may light up to celebrate their favorite team’s victory or to unwind after a round of golf; a group of groomsmen may slink off to enjoy some Cubans at the end of a long wedding reception; fathers might have a first cigar with their sons upon college graduation. You get the drill, and I’m not one to tell anyone not to enjoy a genuine pleasure, or not to celebrate. But have you ever gotten a whiff of someone’s breath after he smoked a cigar? It’s a pretty disgusting habit, and the hygiene issues pretty much immediately erase any manly component to the activity. Again, do it if you truly enjoy it. However, if you’d just as soon have a drink and you’re opting for the cigar out of some bizarre sense of crossing a manhood milestone, get over it.
5. Grilling Is The Manliest Thing Of All Time
I like being outside with a cold beer flipping burgers as much as the next guy. What’s more, this is always a really fun activity to enjoy with just a few guy friends. It’s an environment that almost requires relaxation, as there’s nothing to do but cook, eat, drink, and hang out, and for all those reasons I get why grilling and “guy time” are associated. But that doesn’t make it any manlier than cooking a steak inside. Slate did a whole psychological analysis of the link between manliness and grilling, and there are a lot of interesting points within. But ultimately it determined that the reasons men prefer grilling are twofold: first, advertisers marketed to men when grills were first coming out because men were viewed as likelier to try something new; and second, there’s an old, ingrained, and sexist notion that men’s work is in the public sphere (outside), whereas women work in the home. I’m not at all suggesting that every guy who likes to grill shares those ideas—I’m sure in this day and age, most don’t. But is a hobby rooted in those concepts really that manly?
