Searching for a Soulmate: Do You Have the Right Woman on Your Arm?

couple in pool

We see it on movie screens; it’s a part of most sitcom plots and subsequent lessons; and, we’ve been reading about it in works of fiction since grammar school. It’s a natural progression of life to find your other half, your soulmate, one to share your life, thoughts, and most intimate moments with.

However, before you identify your soulmate, you’ll have to do some soul searching. For example, you may presently be in a relationship. Is that the ‘right’ woman on your arm? It’s better for the both of you to know for sure. Consider the following sentiments while searching for your soulmate.

Birds of a Feather

Considering your soulmate doubles as your best friend, think about friends you’ve made throughout your life, starting from your early school days. It’s likely, at first, you gravitated toward those who were similar to you (boys usually play with other little boys at first) and subsequently enjoyed the same things (cartoons, toys, games, etc).

While ‘trying new things’ should be a lifelong habit, it’s natural to feel comfortable and entertained in the company of those who share similar views, hobbies, faiths, etc. Sometimes, we’re initially attracted to others for physical or short-term reasons; and, while finding someone exactly like you is not a requirement or a possibility, consider mates that share long-term and deep-seated similarities.

Add through Subtraction

It seems counterintuitive; yet, it’s more likely to attract those we really get along with by alienating the masses. Meaning, rather than seek mass acceptance, which is the trajectory of every preteen and young adult in existence, consider showcasing minute and obscure parts of style and personality as to attract those who are similar, despite the odds and numbers.

Those who mature into adulthood often find childhood friends, though associated to dear memories, no longer share commonalities, lessening the strength of the relationship. Often, old friends identify a third party or entity (a shared friend or interest) as the reason for the friendship rather than natural gravitation toward respective personalities. It’s effective to add through subtraction regarding friendships and intimate relationships. Consider subtracting by adding more ‘hidden’ elements of your true personality.

Law of Attraction

What do you want from an intimate relationship? What do you deserve? Often, such questions seem singular to entertain, yet a number of professionals believe the universe is reactive; we can actually ask for what we want. Of course, the universe and its creatures are not ‘genies in a bottle,’ here to grant our wishes. Yet, some are amazed to find long-time wishes come to fruition more easily when ‘asked for.’
Is there a special someone in your life, but you’re afraid to share your thoughts with them? Is there someone who you believe could become special if approached? There’s a reason you’re thinking of this person or subsequent possibilities. The window is ‘open,’ yet you need to act to get what you want. Resources, such as the Tao of Badass Review, help males channel positive attitudes and better confidence.

Immediate vs. Ongoing

Sometimes, we feel impulsive, like ordering a pizza though on a diet. Or, sometimes, we’ll consider doing things or feeling a certain way due to immediate circumstance, but, upon further meditation and changing ambiance, we think differently, wanting to act differently too.

This happens a lot with short-term dating, with men and women coming together due to immediate attraction or circumstance, but find they have little in common otherwise. Alternatively, two people who could get along better with more time, or initially come together due to awkward circumstance, may graduate the relationship into something special.

Consider the pace of a new relationship or friendship, meditating on immediate wants and needs versus the benefit of being patient and building trust and a solid foundation.

Revisit Your Thoughts

Men may balk at the thought of maintaining a ‘diary,’ yet writing down thoughts and searching for patterns and habits, help people learn more about themselves and how they’re relating to others. Record your thoughts on a daily or weekly basis, noting feelings toward people, intimate relationships, and potential dependencies or third-party entity attraction rather than that directed toward partners. In some cases, sex, psychological comfort, pressure from parents, children, and other causes keep people together despite true feelings.

Sometimes, all it takes to realize thoughts have changed, or alternate than what presently believed, is to write them down and revisit them. Is that the right women on your arm? Or, is there a certain someone you would like to be at your side? Go out; start searching for your soulmate with new insights in mind.

Jon Duvos researches the psychology of relationships, from soulmates to bosom buddies. When not presenting his insights into the psychology of love and friendship, he often writes on love and relationship blogs.