Product Review: Duke Cannon’s Big Ass Brick of Soap

Duke-Cannon-Soap

Duke Cannon’s Big Ass Brick of Soap is the coolest soap you’ve never heard of, let alone actually used to clean your mangina.

I was in love with Duke Cannon the minute I read about the product and the slick-ass advertising. In the words of those on Duke Cannon’s Team, “The only ‘axe’ he would ever use is for cutting down trees.”

Do you know why? Because Duke Cannon is a MAN; not a kid on MTV with a hairless chest and perfect abdominals. Duke Cannon earned his chest hair by doing hard man work over the years and there’s no damn way he’s going to be conned into being embarrassed that he has it.

But what about the soap? Is it any good, or is it a POS product that survives only off great marketing, like the pet rock, Crystal Pepsi or Kim Kardashian before it? I was eager to find the answer.

In an era where men’s body wash gels have taken over, Duke Cannon’s Big Ass Brick of Soap is truly that; it’s a big, green piece of soap that has a big “D” (imprinted on it, you perv) and weighs three-quarters of a pound.

As I removed it from its sheath, I was assaulted by its fragrance. But it was a good, enjoyable assault. It smelled like a high quality men’s cologne rather than a fragrance associated with a bar of soap. Once Duke and I hit the shower after a long day at the orifice, Duke cleaned all my orifices in the most pleasing manners allowed by law. The soap also had these little yellow pieces of steel cut grains imbedded in it. Purportedly used for “maximum gripability,” they also worked to exfoliate and scrub dead skin from your body; you know, if you swing that way.

The Big Ass Brick of Soap came to a frothy head soon after we entered the shower and I never felt even an ounce of guilt or regret about it. The froth itself was very thick and laid down a dense layer of awesome all over my body. When it was time to rinse, it washed right off (which can be atypical of several leading men’s soaps), but the awesome lingered long after, and made me recall a time when me were men and weren’t ashamed of it either.

The next day I hit the shower again and thanks to the girth of Duke Cannon’s Big Ass Brick of Soap, it looked like I hadn’t even touched it the previous day, which means that for a meager $15 investment for three bars, you’re going to get more than a handful of uses in exchange for your hard earned cash.

Duke Cannon’s Big Ass Brick of Soap got me clean. And after all, isn’t that what soap is supposed to do? Check it out and buy some here.

  

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The Light from the TV Shows: “Game of Thrones” begins anew (and so does “The Killing”)

As we enter into the final quarter of the traditional broadcast TV season, where many of the mid-season entries are already beginning to wrap up their runs (“Alcatraz,” for example, aired its two-hour finale on Monday) and most of the series that kicked off way back in the fall are in that depressing twilight period just prior to their last run of new episodes before season’s end, many of your favorite premium cable programs are taking advantage of the semi-lull by coming back with a vengeance.

This past Sunday, of course, AMC brought us the return of “Mad Men,” which you probably already knew, since it managed to pull in 3.5 million viewers, a none-too-shabby increase of 21 percent over the series’ previous season premiere. This Sunday, the network has another series coming back, though it’s probably safe to presume that the numbers won’t be nearly as impressive for this one. But, look, if your excuse for not liking “The Killing” is that they didn’t resolve Rosie Larsen’s murder by the end of the season, go peddle your wares somewhere else, because I’m tired of hearing people whine about that. So what if it hasn’t been resolved yet? A show’s allowed to keep its viewers in suspense, isn’t it? If you didn’t like it because you thought it was boring, that’s one thing. If you’re really complaining because the producers promised “a very, very satisfying ending to Season 1” and reneged on that promise, though, I say that you may be well within your rights to be frustrated, but don’t say, “Ugh, they lied, therefore the show sucks,” because that’s just lame.

I do think AMC must be resigned to the return of “The Killing” being slaughtered both by the critics and in the ratings, however, since even though it’s coming back this Sunday night at 8 PM for a two-hour season premiere, the homepage of the network’s press resource center is still busy trumpeting last week’s return of “Mad Men.” For my part, while I do think the series dragged quite a bit in places and reached the point of ridiculousness with how many times Sarah Linden bailed on her planned departure (if I was Ray McDeere, I probably would’ve broken off my engagement to Sarah somewhere around Episode 1.3), I was perpetually gripped whenever Michelle Forbes and Brent Sexton were portraying parental grief, and I am steadfast in my disagreement with anyone who says that Episode 1.11 (“Missing”) was an unnecessary detour away from the case, because that may have been my favorite episode since the pilot. If you didn’t like that episode, you probably also watched “Twin Peaks” and complained about how they spent too much time focusing on Audrey Horne when they could’ve been figuring out who killed Laura Palmer…and I’m here to tell you that you can never spend too much time focusing on Audrey Horne.

Quick sidebar: if you didn’t watch “Twin Peaks,” this is Audrey Horne:

This concludes your moment of Sherilyn Fenn zen. We now return to our regularly scheduled column…provided we can all get our concentration back.

Oh, right, now I remember where I was…

Read the rest of this entry »

  

2012 Honda Pilot Touring Gallery

Bullz-Eye is reviewing the 2012 Honda Pilot Touring in Bali Blue Pearl and this is one very sharp SUV. The interior is sweet and the ride is totally upscale. Stay tuned for our full review in the coming weeks.

  

First Drive: 2013 Infiniti JX

The crossover market is exploding, and CUVs with three rows are getting more popular as buyers with families look for options that can fit the kids and more adults.

We first saw Infiniti’s planned entry in this segment last year when they unveiled the all-new Infiniti JX concept at the Concours D’Elegance at Pebble Beach. We were impressed then with the look of this all-new vehicle, and last week we had the opportunity to drive it at the Infiniti drive event in picturesque Charleston, South Carolina.

The new JX is targeting buyers with kids who don’t want to sacrifice luxury and style, filling a gap in Infiniti’s crossover and SUV portfolio. The designers also emphasized space and flexibility in the interior along with cutting edge safety features.

Exterior

The exterior of the JX looks sleek and stylish and is consistent with the design language we’ve come to expect from Infiniti, including the distinctive LED tail lamps. It’s a far cry from some of the boxier or bulkier vehicles from competitors that sport three rows. One new feature that we’ll be seeing more of is the crescent shaped rear side window which adds a nice touch to the vehicle. Overall, the look is a real winner that should be a huge hit with the target market.

Interior

Infiniti engineers focused on space and flexibility with the interior, with particular emphasis on easy access to the third row seats. They created a mechanism that lets the second row seat tilt in a manner to provide the most space, and another to allow users to tilt the seat even when a car seat is strapped in (without the baby of course!). Not having to remove the car seat is a significant convenience for many parents, and adults can easily get in and out of the third row, so grandma will happily jump in the back with the kids. Third row air conditioning was also added, along with two DVD monitors for second row passengers. Throw in Bose technology with the speaker system and you have a luxurious experience for the entire family.

The technology packages are impressive, and the My Schedule feature lets you coordinate your Google Calendar with the map and other functions in the vehicle. So you can set an appointment on your PC calendar and then just instruct the vehicle to “map it” once you get inside. Very convenient! This should be even better once they come up with an app to coordinate all of this.

Performance

The new JX was not engineered to be a performance vehicle, but rather was built for the target market with sufficient and competitive horsepower. I had the chance to push the vehicle at higher speeds and it performed just fine with solid acceleration and solid handling. Moms and dads driving the car certainly won’t have any complaints.

It’s in the safety area where Infiniti has come up with some impressive innovations that will certainly please the target customers. The Backup Collision Intervention is something you’ll be seeing in the commercials for this vehicle. Basically, if you’re backing up at low speeds, the sensors will pick up something behind you or an approaching vehicle and stop the car for you even before you notice the hazard on you rear view camera. I had the opportunity to test it and it worked great. The key is that the driver is going no faster than five miles per hour backing up, but this should do if for most backup situation in the driveway or in a parking lot. Another helpful feature lets alerts the driver if someone or something is right next to the vehicle.

Overview

Infiniti has nailed this one and it should do very well in this segment. The JX is an impressive vehicle and it has all the luxuries buyers will want, and some they didn’t realize they need.

  

Captain Morgan gets into social gaming with “Captain’s Conquest”

The makers of Captain Morgan Original Spiced Rum are setting sail on a brand new adventure, and this time, it involves a mobile device instead of a shot glass. The first of its kind for a spirits brand, “Captain’s Conquest” is a mobile social game that rewards players for real-life exploration, adventure and social influence by transforming cities into the open seas and encouraging players to navigate Captain Henry Morgan’s world.

The goal of the game is to rise through the ranks – from a Stowaway to the Captain of your own powerful fleet – ruling the high seas and reaping rewards through skilled digital gameplay and adventurous behavior in the real world. Players will earn points and gain status by mastering the in-game battle mode, conquering territory by checking in at real world locations and using the scope to scan Captain Morgan bottles.

At the onset of the game, players are given command of a ship, the initial size of which is determined by their influence on social platforms such as Facebook, Foursquare and Twitter. In the Captain’s world, size matters, as the magnitude of a player’s ship and the adornments acquired during their adventures influence their success in battle, and ultimately their rank. Using GPS and location-based technologies, the game populates the map screen with visual representations of other players’ ships in the area. Players have the option to interact with those around them by challenging enemy ships to battle.

The game is available for free in both Android Market and the Apple App Store.

  

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