Dirty Sanchez Nation: The Ultimate Illustrated DICKtionary of Obscene Sex Terms

“Dirty Sanchez Nation” author Evan Marz acknowledges in the very beginning of his book that its sole reason for existing is for educational and offensive purposes only. He’s not suggesting that anyone do the things described here – he’s just compiling a a one-stop list of various acts of sexual depravity so that you’ll know what they mean when someone mentions them in conversation. And for that, we suppose that he should be thanked. God knows we learned a lot reading “Dirty Sanchez Nation”; as for the offensive part, well, that’s true, but not in the way that Marz might think.

Let’s put aside for a moment the commentary that comes with a book like this, that it is a symptom of just far pornography has crossed into mainstream pop culture, and whether that is a good thing. The real problem with “Dirty Sanchez Nation” is not the subject matter (though that is a problem) – it’s how the subject matter is handled. Simply put, Marz is an atrocious writer, both technically and creatively. When he’s not writing such grammatically plagued lines as these:

“Typically your so drunk you just keep eating.”
“Just as you’re about to burst, pull out and shot your load into her…”
“For all the girl’s who want to…”

He’s spinning poetry like this:

“When you hit her in the shitter with the one-eyed critter…”
“Smacking someone in the face with your purple headed yogurt slinger.”

Lame, lame, lame, lame, lame. It reads as if he wrote the entire book in an hour, and didn’t ask anyone to copy edit it. (There’s hardly a comma in sight.) The organization of the chapters is also laughably bad, with several call backs coming before the setup, a cardinal sin of comedy. For example, why list a variation on Butterface before listing Butterface, or create a section called “Cumshot Surprises” and list Facial, the most basic move, last? Lists like this should go from the simplest moves to more complex (or in this case, sicker) stunts, yes? And really, he couldn’t look up the proper spelling of Sasquatch? (It’s spelled ‘Sausquash’ here, ugh.) We’re also convinced that there is no such thing as a Flaming Amazon, because no woman would ever let a guy set her pubes on fire.

And yet, these many things still aren’t the book’s biggest problem.

No, the biggest problem is the book’s tone, which is of the ultra-misogynist, ‘Bitches ain’t shit’ variety. Take, for example, his description of a Strawberry Shortcake, missing punctuation and all: “Smacking some dirty whore in the face after you just blew your man goo on it creating a red and white pastry treat look.” Some dirty whore? Is Marz that unaware of the deep-seated self-loathing in his words? Another move begins, “While getting head from some skank…” Yes, the 17 girls you bragged of fellating you freshman year in your bio must be very proud to know that you think they’re skanks. The big question, though is: if you had sexual relations with 17 different women in a year, guess what that makes you?

The line between sex and violence here is stretched to the limit, and while Marz didn’t invent this stuff, he’s selling several of them like they might be fun to do, despite how humiliating, irresponsible or harmful they might be to the other party. There is a way to mine comedy from this subject; unfortunately, Marz couldn’t be bothered to take the extra effort to find it, and chose the easier, ‘ha ha girls are all dumb sluts’ path instead. We’re not sure which is worse: his demeaning view of women, or his lazy, lowest-common-denominator approach to comedy. Look at those chapter titles: “Gay Shit”? “Ugly Bitches”? This book is aimed squarely at the douchebag crowd.

“Dirty Sanchez Nation” is informative but needlessly hostile, not to mention occasionally ridiculous (is there really a phrase for blowing snot in a girl’s vagina, as if anyone would ever do such a thing?). It’s a book for people who think that any woman willing to get naked in front of them should be punished for doing so. Case in point: Mudslide, where Marz actually suggests that guys laugh after they blast diarrhea in a woman’s face. To quote the Avalanches song “Frontier Psychiatrist,” that boy needs therapy.

We’ll leave you with this, a line from Marz’s (obnoxious) bio: “…he began his career in acting, playing minor roles in both soft and hardcore pornography before finding his true calling in writing.” True calling in writing? That might be the funniest thing here. (Flying Armbar Enterprises 2010)

  

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8 responses to “Dirty Sanchez Nation: The Ultimate Illustrated DICKtionary of Obscene Sex Terms”

  • Andy says:

    I just ordered my copy from Amazon.

  • David Medsker says:

    Proof positive that there is no such thing as bad publicity.

  • Evan Marz says:

    I wrote the book. The reviewer obviously didn’t read the female domination section or the girl giving a guy a cleveland steamer. But that’s ok, he had an agenda and he was sticking to it.

    Anyway, use coupon code “free” at checkout to get free shipping at http://www.DirtySanchezNation.com

    Cheers
    Evan

  • David Medsker says:

    Evan, I have your email address, so we can finish this in private. But after reading the gracious email you sent our publicist earlier today, let’s just say I’m disappointed to see this, since you know for a fact that what you’re saying about me isn’t true.

  • Evan Marz says:

    David, you’re right, I have no idea what your agenda was for the review. I’m sorry. I said it publicly and I’ll retract it publicly. Thank you for the review.

  • #1 Female Fan. says:

    As a female, who happens to be a huge fan of Marz’s book, I think Mr. Medsker has missed the boat on this one. I don’t think you realized that the book was written and is meant as a joke. You question what woman would let a man set her pubes on fire as suggested in “Flaming Amazon” well, what man would allow a women to clamp jumper cables to his nuts as suggested in “Electro Shocker”? The book isn’t “Dirty Sanchez Nation: The Ultimate Illustrated TIPtionary of Obscene Sex Terms.” Also you seem to be taking a bit too much offense to the terms used to describe women. Why? It’s a joke the same way comedians joke about women, homosexuals, african americans etc. You failed to mention that in the book there are demeaning acts involving men. Clearly, you have “selective reading”. Grow up, it isn’t personal, it’s humor. Speaking of humor, you appear to be lacking a sense of it. The book isn’t meant as a sexual experience how-to, it’s meant to be funny, light, and different. No one, including Marz, could possibly expect people to go out and try these absurd acts. Don’t be ridiculous.

  • james says:

    Ok I have to say femalefan seems to be the only sane one to read this site he is an amazing person for putting this book out there its hilarious and a good way to make someone almost piss them selves on a bad day kudos to you Mr.Marz I really hope you can put out a couple more side splitters like this one

  • james says:

    Also for someone to make such hateful comments on someone else’s grammar they should have at least reread their own first case and point the first paragraph they have put two “a” beside each other come on have a drink and reread the book with some guy friends you will be rolling on the ground trying to catch your breath

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